Feeling scared feeling like a nothing
A customer came in today and grabbed me right away.Of course, it's a positive sign because I want to make money.But, he really scared me, or maybe I'm over reacting .?He grabbed me violently saying he wants to F me.He wanted to go to the VIP room tomorrow.Honestly from the look in his eyes he seemed like he could easily rape me.Girls how do you keep sane ? Sometimes I smile but I'm crying inside ...when I am treated like I have no soul.I get that this is part of the job,but what can I do to keep sane and keep loving myself?how do I keep myself safe from costumes that seem too rough.?Going with a crazy person to the privet room could lead me to getting raped.I know that there are cameras, but sometimes the cameras can't see or catch everything.Rape can happen fast? So my question to you is how do you do this job without selling your soul? And how do you keep your precious female body safe at all time?is it possible to dance make money and not lose your mind?
Re: Feeling scared feeling like a nothing
Honestly guys are shitty everywhere, not just the club. It's just part of being female in general. Just because men treat you like an object, it doesn't mean you are. Don't allow the things they say or do to define you. They aren't worth it.
If you don't feel safe in the private room with guys at your club, either hustle with a buddy, ask a bouncer to do frequent room checks, or decline those dances. If you can't make money at your club turning down dances you aren't comfortable with, switch clubs.
Always get your money up front so you can leave if they try to break your rules. Also dance defensively- more space, don't turn around in front of them, try to steer the conversation to less sexual topics.
And remember that if something happens it isn't your fault and to not blame yourself for it.
Re: Feeling scared feeling like a nothing
You're always going to see some of the worst type of people in the club. But sometimes you'll see the good too. I've worked at clubs that can be a little scared because management seems like they don't get a dayum about you. Do you have anybody in the club you can trust? One time another dancer and I pledged to kind of look after each other and make sure everythign was okay if we gave each other a sign.
For example, I'd walk to VIP with a guy and give her a wink and she'd come by and check things out (without being noticed of course) not long after we both went into the private area. This isn't going to solve the issue all the time but at least you know there is a chance you have some back.
Re: Feeling scared feeling like a nothing
just don't dance with/do vips with people like that. seriously. trust your instinct and remember that there will be other customers coming in soon.. you don't need his money that bad. i don't say 'no' to dances very often but sometimes i do, even if i really need the money that day, cause 9/10 times your instinct is right and that's when you leave the dance room feeling like you just "sold your soul"..
i've forced myself to do rooms with a few guys like that and it feels like shit. this is why i try to advise girls not to get into stripping if they're super desperate for money. cause i mean, this is the reason people think it's degrading. but it doesn't have to be. you're an independent contractor which means you can say no. there are shitty clubs where management will try and force you to dance for people like that but i'd suggest finding another club if that's the case (i've been there)
Re: Feeling scared feeling like a nothing
Don't even give him a fake smile. They don't even deserve that. Just block what he said out of your head and walk away. Don't even waste your breath on pathetic souls like that piece of shit.
Depending on the club/shitty management... Most likely he'll get his money back bc he bitched and complained about you. Especially since you agreed to go to vip. You're not obligated to anyone. You're your own boss.