-
Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
So I've been working at the same club for the last four months, and I started working day shift there. This is the first strip club I've ever worked at - I've had no prior experience, and besides one former roommate whom I'd only known for a few weeks, I have no other friends in the industry. Being completely green to this, I worked during day shift, and said my hellos in the locker room, but mainly kept to myself. No harm no foul right? A few months of continuously working at the club, coming in for day shift about 2-3 times a week with an open schedule, and I make really good money. I notice when a guy walks in I would be one of the first people to sit and talk with him usually, but even when I wasn't, they would still almost always get a dance with me unless they were seeing their regular. This starts to create tension with some of the day shift girls, because they aren't making as much money. Unbeknownst and unexplained to me, they have a system of how they work during the day shift - they wait for the guy to take his seat, watch a song, sip their drink and then a girl sits and chats with him. Whoever is first I suppose changes, there's no set system to it. I haven't paid much attention to it, and I believe as a true independent contractor, I should manage my business the way I want to. These day shift girls have been friends with each other for a long time, and I as a newcomer who is now making money, who they probably have tension against now, will probably not benefit from trying to work my way into their etiquette. I had a few confrontations with some of the day shift girls, and it's hard for me, at this point, to see where I should fit. Should I just give up and move to a different shift? Should I continue working day shift and manage the animosity and just pull through it? Am I being played? Why didn't anyone explain to me the "etiquette" til it was months in? I don't want to work in a hostile work environment but I also don't want to sacrifice how I make money because the other dancers are threatened. There are dozens of girls who come in for day shift who don't follow the etiquette but because they aren't seen as successful they aren't bothered. Help?
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
First of all the etiquette they are referring to is that it is somewhat unspoken across the US from NYC to vegas , so for this one your club isn't alone it's everywhere , and that is : "let the customer order and receive his drink before approaching".
Just an unspoken thing most girls/clubs go with to make it more relaxed for the customer and he doesn't feel attacked by sharks lol...
But guess what, it's JUST a polite nuance NOT a law lol, so a million girls completely ignore it or don't know about it and just practice it. And that's TOTALLY fine , you are running your own business get in how you fit in boo!
Me personally I like to let my customers take a few sips even if their drink before I approach...just a personal preference ...at HUSTLER in NYC it's written in their rules you sign that customers has to be seated and have a napkin under his drink before you approach...
As for girls trying to play you out...get used to it...get a thick skin...ingnore them and descalate as much as possible while STILL GETTING YOUR MONEY. Don't de-escalate to flat where you can't make money !!! Go in there, ignore the ratchets, greet the chill coworkers, make your money and get out.
Hopefully it doesn't come to a point where you need to find a new club but don't be upset if it does , many girls hop around to other clubs and if you stayed connected with your regs custies they will come to whatever club you're working.
The customers are your focus, not the other girls, not even club management (tho kiss managements ass all you can so if it comes between you and the mean girls they will take your side)
So yea best advice they are not fucking with you it IS a real etiquette thing but DONT let them fuck with you like that, another girl on here said when not with custies practice "resting bitch face"; so you look hard and not to be fucked with lol. And stay close to managers/house moms, you might need them on your side if you really like your club
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
I have never heard this rule as a rule or etiquette. I prefer to give the guy a minute but if it's dead and the other sharks are circling, I'm going in.
Girls always find something to bitch at the new girl about especially if she's making money. Do what you need to do.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Maybe you can start tip those girls out too to keep them happy? No! You work for yourself. Period. You here to make money, not to follow some conventional rules.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
When i worked a dry bar it was legit a rule that you had to let the server approach first/custie get a drink from the bar because otherwise they would probably just go for dances and not bother with the $7 sprite but that was how the bar made money.
Other clubs it hasn't been an official rule but i definitely always wait for them to get a drink and sit down cause it looks like you're basically tackling the poor guy otherwise haha.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Unless the guy or management is complaining, why worry about it? There will always be other dancers threatened by you making money. Honestly in my experience it's better to avoid being too buddy-buddy at work because it's a distraction from making money.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
elliela
Unless the guy or management is complaining, why worry about it? There will always be other dancers threatened by you making money. Honestly in my experience it's better to avoid being too buddy-buddy at work because it's a distraction from making money.
i get that. my club is really slow, (but i still make really
good money because i'm one of their best and i know how to work with the kind of guys that come in), a lot of fhe girls that gave me shit are off for the summer and if they have any problem
with me it's their problem - not mine. whatever.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
I can't believe I have a controversial opinion on this one...
Why are you approaching the customers before they have been served?!? it's a fucking bar!!! It ruins the vibe of the club if you work this way! It has been a rule that has been posted in locker rooms and written in contracts and it's also logic! How thirsty are you that you think it's going to affect your bottom line if the customer who walked into a BAR has a drink and takes a sip first! I've worked in clubs that had a three song rule, don't approach til 3 songs after the drink. Those girls don't want to have a tense work environment anymore than you do! They didn't tell you at first because we've all seen desperate new girls and been like well guess she needs to pay her rent like tomorrow.,.They probably didn't want to be assholes to you- but now it looks like you're sticking around in this club and they want to be like - hey we're the house girls and maybe you didn't realize but this how we préfère to work .... A few months is not a long time because strippers come and go a lot. don't get butthurt- if you want to stick to your extremely aggressive style of hustle, well maybe move somewhere where strip clhbs get crazy traffic- like Vegas?
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
^I agree with you Vanessa. I like my customers to have atleast tasted their drink.
Only if there are many other shraeks working on a shift will I then change my hustle to approach as quickly as they approach for fear of never making it to even one customer first lol. ...but that may be why the chicks asked her stop cuz they don't want to change to a faster hustle which is understandable behavior 1. Day shifts are always more laid back and 2. It has apparently been working for them?
But op did say she felt single out that other girls worked like her and only SHE was being ostracized because she was actually closing the sells , so are these girls upset about changing the pace of the club or are they really just jealous they can't get money like op can get?
I find that many times when new girls come to a club the house girls will find any reason to be annoyed by the new girl. And when they can't find a reason they make up on lol. Even if her hustle pace is different , unless it's stated in the rules by management, the strip club for all of us is free reign to run our business. ... like I said I personally do not like OPs aggressive style, and i agree it does change the pace of a club...but I still think she has the right to do it like we all have the right to our thing ...
Some chicks can't close sells if they don't hustle aggressively, should they be aloud to work alongside girls who can still close sells while playing it cool? Well that's up to each clubs management. Should strippers police others strippers on their hustle and personality? In my opinion hell no we are, as op said , independent contractors.
So even though her behavior annoys the both of us Vanessa I still think she isn't out of line ...just my opinion tho
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
I was greatful for the napkin rule at Hustler, it evened the playing field in a rooms of sharks lol....but I don't think it's necessary to police any other girls approach times in the club. We all know we want to be the first one when new blood walks in, this is a very selfish business lol. Timing is pretty crucial to everything in life not just stripping but if we are going to get mad at other girls approaching customers before us we might as well just hang up our heels then because we will not always be the first girl there, or prettiest girl on shift every time, or top earner, etc.....I think there is space in strip clubs for the girls who do the "play it cool" hustle and girls who do the "OMG IM HERE INSTANTLY AGRESSIVE WANNA DANCE" chickas just like there are places for blondes and brunettes and Dominicans and Koreans or the Goth witch stripper or the cheerleader girl next door stripper lolz
the difference in personality is what these men come to see....they get to meet "sally suckadick for 20cents" , "Andy with the aggressive fast hustle" and "cool marina who plays drums" all on the SAME shift at the SAME club ...how fun is the for the guys right! our differences add to the fun for these guys ...
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
What I'm trying to say is hustle pace is a personality quirk that each stripper uses as a tool, and we all have a PERSONAL way of doing it because we are each selling "ourselves(or the fake stripper us)".....it is ok if it is different from other indedenpet contractors .....just as long as other clubs rules that are set in place are followed ...then it's really personal discretion ...
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Also some men WANT to be approached instantly and COMPLAIN about it, just like the strippers the men themselves are DIFFERENT and enjoy DIFFERENT approach times ....hence why I am saying it is more a perrsonality thing....
The men that like tha approach will respond very well the aggressive hustle girls, the men that like to do the whole coy and cool thing will like what they like lol....and the matches will be made accordingly .....
Keep in mind that not all men want to wind down before they play, some come in raring and ready to go lol! do we sent these guys of their fun too lol?
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
I'm just saying this is 1) day shift aka the chill shift 2) she says in her post she is usually the first to approach- so she's sharking these house girls and changing the vibe 3) she says the club is slow so that also changes things- like I've got no beef with aggressive hustlers and wanna dance girls at all in my club, but that's cause we have traffic and if they do t get a dance they move on! Imagine how shitty it would be if this is a empty club and this girl is a shark and then monopolizes the custy for a really long time. I agree it takes all kinds and it's best not to police other dancers hustles BUT she's acting surprised these house girls even talked to her about her shark tactics. I've been flat out scolded for a lot less by veteran strippers and I didn't whine about it. I paid closer attention to my surroundings and tried out other clubs/shifts to find the best fit.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
So I know what it's like to be a new girl and not understand the club culture. But being new means that you have a lot to learn and it's in your benefit to watch how the other girls do it.
This club sounds like it has a certain comradely environment which generally makes for a better working environment and more consistency especially during slow shifts. Those girls tend to share customers, give each other tips on who has money, do double dances and help each other out. This culture takes a long time to cultivate and it is in my opinion better for everyone. I can understand why they're annoyed at your obliviousness. Remember, you probably have new girl money and once that runs out you'll wish you had a more cooperative environment to work in.
Grabbing a guy before he has his drink on a slow shift is pretty crappy though. Not just for your coworkers but also the bar and the customers.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
I don't mind the sharks at all. Because sometimes they get tied up with a really bad customer and leave a good one for me to find :)
What i don't appreciate is sharks who won't leave a customer when it's obvious he isn't interested in her or even worse it's obvious he is interested in another dancer. Girl let him go!!! The whole "if he won't dance with me no other girl can" mentality is so annoying especially on a dead night. Cut your losses and move on.
It sounds like you are closing the sale so while i would be mildly annoyed i wouldn't be frustrated because at least u closed the sale. When the girl sits there for an eternity blocking other girls money that's what gets annoying.
I've always worked with aggressive foreign girls so honestly sharks dont really bug me. And the customers they drive away with their aggressiveness happily spend money on me because I'm more relaxed
If you aren't the only one hustling like this but u are the only one really successful at it i can see why they would be mad but honestly if I work with sharks I just step my game up a little
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
you're making money. fuck 'em.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
vanessa_mtl
I can't believe I have a controversial opinion on this one...
Why are you approaching the customers before they have been served?!? it's a fucking bar!!! It ruins the vibe of the club if you work this way! It has been a rule that has been posted in locker rooms and written in contracts and it's also logic! How thirsty are you that you think it's going to affect your bottom line if the customer who walked into a BAR has a drink and takes a sip first! I've worked in clubs that had a three song rule, don't approach til 3 songs after the drink. Those girls don't want to have a tense work environment anymore than you do! They didn't tell you at first because we've all seen desperate new girls and been like well guess she needs to pay her rent like tomorrow.,.They probably didn't want to be assholes to you- but now it looks like you're sticking around in this club and they want to be like - hey we're the house girls and maybe you didn't realize but this how we préfère to work .... A few months is not a long time because strippers come and go a lot. don't get butthurt- if you want to stick to your extremely aggressive style of hustle, well maybe move somewhere where strip clhbs get crazy traffic- like Vegas?
This was fun to read because there were a lot of assumptions that have nothing to do with my original post but from I'm assuming your past experiences? It's not a bar. They can't serve alcohol in the state i live in. so it's NOT the ~~**vibe**~~ at our club. Our club is well-known for guys who come in on their lunch break or to kill time waiting for traffic to die down. These guys don't "hang around". My best customers are in for 45 minutes tops and get 6+ dances with me plus tip. Second - if it's seen as such an "extremely aggressive" way of seeing a customer why do i get yeses? Veterans of the club also do it so if I were to rely on what they said and not what they did I wouldn't be making any money and why would I do that.
Do you wanna tell me where i can find the posters to these quotes because they aren't in our locker room. Thanks! Literally anyone could have pulled me aside for 2 minutes and told me - hell they could have yelled it at me or threaten me with it, that would have been more productive than those people stewing in it 3x a week for almost 3 months. That's why this shit is annoying - no one told me anything about it till it was too late and I was making a ton of money. Do you want to tell me what you'd do if you were making a lot of money and your competitors who never talked to you all of a sudden told you how you should change your program?
This thread has blown up to something pretty out of proportion. I started very new a few months ago, and didn't know the etiquette, but also no one told me the etiquette, and it seemed to change depending on the workday and what the customer flow was like. I'm a very tolerant person, and if I see anyone working a different approach and it works for them, who would I be to tell them to stop? The right approach would be to adjust how you work and step your approach up because it's going to get you out of your comfort zone and make you a better dancer. The day shift was very sleepy until lately. I think my way of doing things got a lot of resentment because a lot of the other day girls didn't evolve their approach. My way of doing things has nothing to do with their way of doing things. I am an independent contractor. End of story.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
6 months into this job, and I definitely have a different approach of this because I'm a lot more relaxed at my work and I'm "seeing the wood for the trees" now. If I knew what I do now, I don't think I would have approached my customers this way, but I gotta admit for the first few months it did work. And it wasn't out of spite of the other dancers, I really came into that club tunnel-visioned on what I could control: myself and my customer base. So yeah, looking back on it now I would have done things differently but I didn't know any better. I also think we all have to remember that while were working on the floor with other women, if we all paid as much attention and were as affected about someone's approach as I've seen in these replies, we'd be pretty miserable. We all gotta remember that we only answer to ourselves. I mean damn, I work with some of these girls that pay me ALL the attention - whether good or bad, and I pray for them because all the neggy energy they're focusing on me is just money out of their pocket. Sorry not sorry.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BarbieNYC
I don't mind the sharks at all. Because sometimes they get tied up with a really bad customer and leave a good one for me to find :)
What i don't appreciate is sharks who won't leave a customer when it's obvious he isn't interested in her or even worse it's obvious he is interested in another dancer. Girl let him go!!! The whole "if he won't dance with me no other girl can" mentality is so annoying especially on a dead night. Cut your losses and move on.
It sounds like you are closing the sale so while i would be mildly annoyed i wouldn't be frustrated because at least u closed the sale. When the girl sits there for an eternity blocking other girls money that's what gets annoying.
I've always worked with aggressive foreign girls so honestly sharks dont really bug me. And the customers they drive away with their aggressiveness happily spend money on me because I'm more relaxed
I get annoyed of these things too. Luckily I don't witness it that often.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Ok there's no alcohol. Still. I've worked in clubs where the dancers didn't let the customers sit down first and would literally line up to greet them at the door and to me that is just a really awkward bad vibe to be working in! Why would anyone prefer that way of doing it? It makes things needlessly stressful- maybe the customer doesn't feel it's aggressive or unwanted but as a dancer I really hated that sort of vibe, I lasted like two shrifts at that place. I was not going to become a better dancer " and get out of my comfort zone" like you said by pushing another stripper out of the line that formed to meet the customers at the coat check. And yet that is the only way I could have *stepped up my game*. Literally every other club has had rules about allowing the customer to receive their drink and it *usually* functions as an unspoken rule. I was a pretty aggressive hustler when I started because I didn't have any other dancer friends and didn't know other ways of doing it and was working at a sort of mid range place with only ok money and had tuition to pay- I was like gunning to sit with people as soon as they were served. I don't think there's anything wrong with that approach but it's not how I choose to work now. In my opinion it's bad vibes if the customer can't sit down or get a drink, alcoholic or not. I also made a ton of mistakes like letting customers push my boundaries because I wanted money and saw other girls doing it. The tunnel vision thing you described is real. I don't know if the women who you work with who talked to you about your approach are normal people or assholes. I only know that the way we do our job does effect other's and while you are your first priority it also doesn't hurt to take off your tunnel vision goggles and consider their concerns.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
Keep doing what makes you money. I'm a "shark", but I'm not an idiot about it. I'm not aggressive in an obvious way, I'm friendly and flirty and make them feel welcome, but I am most certainly the first girl to greet them (and usually the first to get dances, because I know how to "shark" well). The faster you get to them, the sooner you can tell if they are wanting to spend or not, the less time you waste.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
I say do what makes you the most money. They are mad because you are making more than them. They should step their game up.
-
Re: Stripper Etiquette OR Being Played?
It really seems like it depends where you are. Obviously ny approaching customers aggressively wouldn't work, and that's actually cool cuz it does level the playing field, but Vegas that's literally all people do, they have girls wait by the front entrance. Sometimes people use "sitting down for a drink for a little bit" too as an excuse. But the way I've always looked at dancing, if you don't get to him first (whether you're his type or not) someone else will and he will most likely not leave her for you. Even if he came to the club for "you". Unless it's written in the rules, like it seems to be in New York, do what you have to do to make money like everyone else said.