Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
Hello again ladies!
I'm in a bit of an uncomfortable spot at my club. I've been dancing for just under 2 months. I have a regular who, btw was not really my choice of being a regular it was basically forced on me by a waitress and VERY occasional dancer at the club, let's call her Carly.
Carly has been working at the club for give or take 15years. She knows a bunch of guys there. I met a custie there, let's call him Brian, and we clicked. Brian and Carly have known each other for 20years (Did not know and probably wouldn't care at the time) he spent a lot of money on me the first night I met him. During the time he was there he started asking me how much to get me out of the club to a hotel, obviously for sex, I fed him bullshit, (this is where I messed up) saying sure gimmie your number blah blah blah. I texted him once saying who it was through an alternate number I had and ignored his incessant texts. Eventually he stopped and I assumed he got the hint.
Fast forward to a very slow day and Carly tells me she's trying to get some guys in here, whatever. Next thing you know she's shoving her phone in my face saying its Brian and he wants to make sure I'm here before he comes in.
WTF, first off I'm wondering why are you telling MY custies I'm here?!? It would have been fine if he was just going to come up here to see Carly, I could say hello, feed him some bull and duck and dodge him while he's here. Just because he's her friend doesn't mean she knows what he's like in vip or if I wanted him knowing my schedule or that I wanted to see him. Which I didn't. He was too handsy, kissing on me, propositioning me, all the things I hate.
Anyway, so I wave the phone away and tell her I don't care about seeing him and am not about to talk with him. Thought the situation was over.
A week or two later she calls him in again telling him I'm here without my knowledge. He gets here and although I don't want, I sit with him, he buys me and Carly a bunch of drinks tips her like crazy, tips me like crazy. The whole time he's still trying to pay to fuck (I mess up here again) I tell him my phone was stolen and I haven't been able to replace it yet (truth) which is why I haven't responded to him. Whatever, eventually he leaves but because I made a crazy amount of money just for the time I spent sitting with him as well as Carly, we talk about how excited we both are.
I get a phone, and the next week she again,tells him to come in, I'm here, without my knowledge. At this point I'm super annoyed she does this, but I think, OK well at least I'll go home with bank today. He doesn't tip me while I sit with him, just buys me drinks and during a casual convo he randomly says, "So you have kids right?" My mind goes into overdrive because I have never told him this. My mind is racing wondering if he's stalking me online if he's followed me and watching me, and my Mother bear senses get triggered and I immediately get defensive. I ask him who told him that, and of course, Carly. I am pissed.
I'm pissed because I don't like ANYONE, telling my personal info, I don't care if it's my age, how far I live from here, if I'm in school, what I'm studying, if I'm in a relationship married, etc., and certainly not anything about my kids to a freaking customer. It's legit the only reason I changed my wallpaper on my phone from my kids to some random scenery. I got tired of customers asking questions like how many I have, how old, boy or girl, etc. I always would think in my head "The fuck is it your business?!? Why do you want to know? You're not here to date me you're hear to see strippers and get your jollies off!" And it would put me in an annoyed mood instantly.
I let it slide, even though I was beyond annoyed. I know I shouldn't have even told anyone there my personal info, but I don't know how to respond when people ask me these questions especially being so new to dancing... I don't want to come off rude or bitchy by saying something like 'Don't worry about it' or 'Why?' when I'm asked about myself. And obviously I can't untell my private life info.
So Brian realizes I now have a phone and I fed him the same info as always, he leaves. The next day I responded to a have a good day text he sent and that was it. Again he incessantly texts which I again, ignored.
However when I think about it the more I think I should stop entertaining Carly's 'friends'. Every person she has sent my way, has either tried to pay me to fuck in the club or tried to pay me to fuck them outside of the club, and just in general the type of clients I don't like. Plus the fact that she is giving out when I'm working to men without my knowledge and telling my personal info without my permission.
((Oh and I almost forgot that when I was talking with another girl, another dancer came up to me and a guy said he didn't want a dance with her because he HEARD I will fuck and suck for money? Which is an outright lie. It was only 3 girls there including me, which I somewhat trust both of them, the bartender- he wasn't sitting at the bar, the manager, and Carly. So I can't say for sure it was Carly but...)
However like I said Carly has been there for 15 plus years so if I go to management or cause a conflict I'm the one that's going to get the boot not her. The only thing I can think of is to sit with the guys she calls in for me for a few minutes, sip on water, keep the convo light, ask if they want a dance, if they do, great, if not, get up and leave. However I'm sure if she sees me doing this she'll ask why I'm not with them, they came in to see me (like she's my freaking pimp or whatever).
That is the only way I can think to resolve this situation with as little conflict as possible, do you guys have any suggestions? Also what do I say if/when Brian comes back to the club and asks why I haven't texted him back?
Any advice welcome!!!
Re: Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
You owe none of these people nothing
Re: Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
You don't owe Brian or Carly jack shit
Ignore her , don't talk to her customers anymore she is annoying as fuck lmao don't let people tell you what to do.
Ignore Brian if they talk to you start sing in the song playing in the club in the moment ahahhhaa (I do funny shit like that to girls I don't like lmao I don't care but what I mean is ignore the hoe )
You can totally snitch on her to the manager if you want, usually in the strip club it is best to snitch first cuz it's no honor among thieves baby girl and the manager will have your point of view first , generally it helps.
All the girls and the employees to everyone else say mean and nice things about you to customers and each other, people talk , learn not to care
If she gets too annoying go to another club , meanwhile she ain't shit there is no pecking order of strippers don't matter how long anybody been anywhere you hit the floor we are all the same job title : stripper
Re: Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
First and foremost, I have to say for a newb dancer you seem to have pretty good instincts and know how to keep your guard up so kudos for that. I agree with Nadia, you do not owe any of them anything. If he is bothering you then just don't sit with him and block his number. Yes, I DO think she is trying to pimp you. She probably has some kind of side arrangement with these guys; and she probably does get inexperienced dancers to fuck her friends for a kick back.
Hardest part about this scenario is you do not really want to alienate a waitress because she can be your best friend when a whale comes in. You have two options the way I see it, number 1: flat out tell her you are not going to do extras or OTC but if she refers you anyone for a room you will take care of her. Option 2: beat her at her own game. Let her refer you all the friends and custys she wants and make all the money you can off of them.
I noticed in your post you blamed yourself for leading the customer on. Don't do that shit. You are selling a fantasy. Never, ever, ever imply implicitly or otherwise that you will have sex for money because it can get you into a lot of trouble but leading a well paying/spending customer into believing there is the opportunity to take it to the next level if they continue to spend is a big part of the hustle. It is hard to explain this until you have more experience but I feel like you are on track to figure it out.
Also, I would ask her to not reveal your personal info. She likely is not doing this on purpose. She, as a waitress has a different relationship with them and probably doesn't realize she is outing you. I would politely tell her to stop if it were me.
Re: Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
"However when I think about it the more I think I should stop entertaining Carly's 'friends'. Every person she has sent my way, has either tried to pay me to fuck in the club or tried to pay me to fuck them outside of the club, and just in general the type of clients I don't like. Plus the fact that she is giving out when I'm working to men without my knowledge and telling my personal info without my permission."
Should probably stop telling people at work information you don't want everyone knowing.
And she knows you're new and naive and thats prob why she's introducing these people so show you "the way"...or "her way"...of making money. She's been dancing over 15 yrs, sorry to break it to you but dancers that dance that long are all doing what she's doing. I wouldn't even bother with that energy and unnecessary drama go make money from guys that just want your time and attention only. Or at least that you won't need to deal with all that crap.
Re: Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
Tell Brian 'NO' & stop dancing for him.
Telling management about Cindy will NOT do you one bit of good. She is making them money. She is calling up customers & bringing in money too. She has been there a long time.
You do need to jump in the middle of Cindy's shit in the dressing room with all the other dancers watching. Tell her you don't fuck for money. You dont' want her calling up men & telling them your business.
I'm sure she does it to other ladies & has a few enemies there.
Or you can be sneaky & fuck with her money. Always order water or no drinks at all when sitting with customers. This will cost her money in tips. If she comes up & ask if they want to buy you a drink, look directly into the guys eyes & tell him how you rather dance for him than to have a drink. Soon Cindy will be livid. You are cutting her out of the money equation.
You can also whisper nasty rumors about Cindy into Brains ears. How she bullies you at work & hustles you for tips after he leaves. Making you resent him walking in the door because of Cindy. Turn them against each other.
Every time he insist on sex tell him no & insist on him tipping you $20 for being rude and asking. Every time he touches you, stop dancing & tell him to tip and behave or you won't dance for him anymore. Eventually, you will become to expensive & he will move on.
Don't put it past Cindy to put drugs in your drinks either.
Re: Is the waitress trying to pimp me?!?
What would we ever do w/o Sam??? :)