turning a customer into a SD
Hey ladies! I know there's plenty of great posts out there on sugar relationships (cause I've read a lot of em!) but I need some advice because I have a particular situation...
I'm super new to dancing (just two weeks in) but had been reading SW posts like crazy for a month before I started, so I had a good grasp of what to expect. It also helps that one of my best friends is a dancer, so she's been guiding me along the way.
My third shift was on a quiet Monday night. I wasn't expecting much, so I was STOKED when a decent-looking customer asked me for a dance. It turned into 2 hours' worth of basically just cuddling and him telling me about his life. He was respectful--not too handsy and he treated me like a human being. The only thing that was less than ideal was the way he tried to be captain-save-a-ho, telling me I was better than this and that he didn't want me to get bogged down by the negative energies in the club. He redeemed himself by quickly adding that he respected my choice and didn't want to seem like he was telling me what to do.
All told, he spent $1k +. I couldn't believe it.
I know it's not usually a good idea to give customers your phone number, so I had him give me his. I figured that for him to spend so much on me, eeeeeven if he only came in to see me one more time, I'd be thrilled.
Fast forward and the next day I texted him via google voice. We exchanged a few messages, and he called me on Thursday. Over the course of the conversation he mentioned how he'd love to take me out for dinner.
"I'd love that," I told him. "But look, I have to keep myself safe and I wouldn't feel comfortable going out with you since I've only met you once before. Let's spend some more time together in the club."
I still wasn't expecting much, and I wasn't expecting to see him again soon. He'd asked me my schedule beforehand. And two hours into a quiet shift Friday evening, he texted me that he was driving down to see me.
This time it was 4 hours, and $2.5k, but he had to spend it with the club's funny money.
We talked more and I realized that I was attracted to the guy. I think you just know when you have chemistry with someone. Again, he mentioned that he wanted to spend time with me outside of the club, and again, I said it was too soon for me. He said he completely understood and didn't press the issue.
Over the course of the evening, he gently mentioned that he didn't spend like that very often and hoped I wouldn't have to cover my rent and bills for a while.
As an introvert, I've found that dancing wears me out. (Also, I suck at stage shows!!) So to get a sugar situation in place would be wayyy better.
On one hand, I'm paranoid... I'm wondering to what extent his niceties are an act. Am I getting played? (AND what about that funny money?? Is that a sign that maybe he doesn't have that much cash to throw around?)
On the other hand, he seems fairly genuine, and he made an investment in me.
As it stands now, I'd be open to meeting him for an uncompensated meal to discuss things. Remind him he said it would be safer to me to ease out of dancing (not quit; I don't want to be dependent), and that he could help me.
How would you all proceed? Any tips or advice? Any related stories? I appreciate any and all bits of wisdom!!
Re: turning a customer into a SD
My initial reaction is that you are SO new to this world and this is a TOUGH hustle to pull off long-term. IDK where you are located but I KNOW right now 1-2.5k seems like a LOT of money for him to spend on you but in reality, it's not. Many customers are going to spend that and MORE on you in the near future. Afterall, you are only two weeks in. If you told him how new you are to dancing, which it sounds like you did, he knows he can try to hustle you to meet him outside the club with the end goal of fucking you and look you ALREADY said that you would be down with an uncompensated dinner. Many guys go for the new girls because they are easier to impress and manipulate. The moment you see him outside, he will 98% chance stop seeing you inside and good luck getting the money you want out of him cause outside is a whole 'nother ball game that even experienced dancers have trouble with let alone a 2 week baby stripper. I am not trying to be negative but why mess up a good thing you have going for you in the club? ?
Re: turning a customer into a SD
You have to know how to finesse him. Do you know what he does for a living? Based on how much he makes you can determine how much to ask for. Tell him that you see him as someone you would seriously consider dating but out of respect for him you would not want to continue dancing if you two were together. Be adamant that you will not dance if you two are together. However, you dont have another way to cover all your bills so basically say something along the lines of, id love to be with you and if you could take of my monthly bills of xxxx amount then i wouldnt have to be stressed out and I could focus on being the best girlfriend to you.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Thank you all, I needed to hear that!
It's true, I know I'm new and therefore easy prey... My angle is, because I am so new, I figured I can play up the whole "I'm shy/I changed my mind and I'm too nervous to meet up with you OTC" sort of thing. Get him in the club some more, at the very least...
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
NakedNicole
You have to know how to finesse him. Do you know what he does for a living? Based on how much he makes you can determine how much to ask for. Tell him that you see him as someone you would seriously consider dating but out of respect for him you would not want to continue dancing if you two were together. Be adamant that you will not dance if you two are together. However, you dont have another way to cover all your bills so basically say something along the lines of, id love to be with you and if you could take of my monthly bills of xxxx amount then i wouldnt have to be stressed out and I could focus on being the best girlfriend to you.
He used to be an engineer but now he's a researcher and PhD student at a pretty solid university. I verified this by googling him, and I found his full name + photo on a legit school site. Whether he has very much money, though, is a different story...
I feel like it's worth giving it a try, getting him into the club and discussing it more with him. He was the first one to bring up compensation, so there's that
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nadia_
he sold you a dream that was supposed to be your job babe smh
still milk that fuck for all he's worth tho, get his ass in the club as often as you can, he is your new regular !
veteran strip club go-ers can manipulate new blood like a hyenna in the jungle smh , please read reviews of what men say on TUSCL on how to manipulate you and other baby strippers
I haven't done anything with him yet, so just because I've been toying with the idea of a sugar relationship doesn't mean he's taken advantage of me :) I knew I needed some more perspective before I took any action.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Girl, keep him in the club and start learning your hustles more in depth. Develop a "relationship" with him and start milking him from now. Overall, I believe that you did a good job of screening him for a newbie :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
aliwonderland
I haven't done anything with him yet, so just because I've been toying with the idea of a sugar relationship doesn't mean he's taken advantage of me :) I knew I needed some more perspective before I took any action.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
He is a STUDENT? Yeah, keep him in the club. That well is going to run dry sooner rather than later.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nadia_
It took him TWO visits to get you want to leave the club the and getting carried away bills paid by your Prince Charming smhhhhh
He gonna GET you :(
OMG..... you have me rolling. lol
I will echo what all the other ladies have already said.... please be careful..... keep him in the club.... he sounds like a snake. You did good, you're new, but next time make a guy invest in you ( minimum 5k) before he gets any special attention. If 5k is breaking the bank..... BYE! lol Plenty more of where he came from.....
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nadia_
It took him TWO visits to get you want to leave the club the and getting carried away bills paid by your Prince Charming smhhhhh
He gonna GET you :(
Hahaha!! You're so right... I needed that dose of reality.
So nowww, I'm gonna get HIM! (...into the club and spending money on me)
Any tips/thoughts on this?
Re: turning a customer into a SD
*Sigh. I just love Nadia_ :)
Ok, I have a thread in Ladies about guys that do shit like this, it talks more about the online sites, but you should go check it out.
Some of these men, they are gaming escorts, strippers & any sex worker or any woman they can w/their bs.. not only that, but drugging, raping, beatin & doxxing them too. Some are murdered
BEWARE!
As far as tips, pls read Hustle Hut, thank you.
Ok 1 more thing:
There was a professor, he drugged & stabbed to death (along w/another man) a young student who trusted him.
He had some sick fantasy about doing this, & flew this other guy in to help him..
Again, pls be aware
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Also, from what you said he does, he may have some$, but no where near close to an real SD.
Just saying
Ok, I'm done now thanks
Re: turning a customer into a SD
By the way, Aliwonderland, make sure that you learn more hustles before you start sugaring. You are still green behind the ears and you need to just get used to the club before diversifying your income with sugaring. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
aliwonderland
Hahaha!! You're so right... I needed that dose of reality.
So nowww, I'm gonna get HIM! (...into the club and spending money on me)
Any tips/thoughts on this?
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Nnnnoooooo it's way too early for anything outside the club...not that it'd necessarily EVER be a good idea!
You said he "invested in you"...NO, he compensated you for your services.
You said you'd consider an uncompensated date. Why? Your time is money. This is an odd thought in the first place in that his entire purpose would be to compensate you for your companionship. Nothing is free.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
He spent his student loan money on you.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
babb
He spent his student loan money on you.
Lol!! But really...
UPDATE: I went with the general consensus on here... instead of meeting OTC, I managed to get him into the club again last week. (woohoo!!!)
He asked several times about meeting OTC, and I smiled, nodded, and subtly changed the subject. He texted me again about hanging out, and I gave him a mini guilt trip about how busy I am--how I was sick last week, how I'm helping a friend move soon. How it's been difficult holding down 2 jobs. How i don't have annnny free time, but that I'd love to see him when I'm working at the club next. :D
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Re: turning a customer into a SD
OMG totally reiterate what all these girls have said, it is true. Guys do this. I've had a few girls I knew that either started dating regulars or went out with a guy that spent minimal money on them, and ALL OF THEM REGRET IT. IT is NEVER worth it. As the years go by and you become more and more seasoned in reading people who are deceptive... you'll actually realize that most people that go into strip clubs are mentally unstable &/or horrible people (in a general sense)... those girls that feel bad for hustling guys for $$$$$ need to wake up and realize what they are actually dealing with. Truth is, most of these guys deserve for us to be ruthless.
When I first started dancing I definitely was able to emotionally "keep up" per say with having lots of regulars, but now 4+ yrs in, I just don't have the time or energy. And guess what?? My money is about the same either way. So don't ever ever ever depend on a man for anything in this industry. Always have plans A, B, C, D, E... and don't ever think there won't be another regular, guys spending 1-3k on a girl is pretty common and you can make it happen more often as you learn. Just realize they have a timeline for how long they'll wait around working on you... and just know this will probably end up in you blocking his number lol. Be safe.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Just agreeing with everyone else. It's kind of sad how jaded we become after doing sex work, but the truth is you CANNOT trust people who promise you the world so quickly. It's true outside of the club, as well... you've met this guy twice, he wants to change your life, he spent a bunch of money to impress you, he is charming... if it seems too good to be true, it usually is. You are right to trust your instincts.
ALWAYS get paid. ALWAYS meet in a safe place like the club... I personally have only been seriously disappointed with meeting outside of the club. But if you must, you had better be getting vey well compensated.
Play that new girl status to your advantage... these guys will think they can manipulate you, but you're one step ahead. :)
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Like the example of Prettyglitter I know TO many girls that have had the same if not much worse situation happen to them while dancing because they give a douchebag the benefit of the doubt. Never give a man in this industry the benefit of the doubt!!! Ever. This industry is full of a bunch of lying, con artist narcissists who are toxic and emotionally unstable. Keep work at work, period. If someone is too draining, cut them off. There will always be another, you don't owe anyone shit.
Re: turning a customer into a SD
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nyc.bianca
most people that go into strip clubs are mentally unstable &/or horrible people (in a general sense)... Those girls that feel bad for hustling guys for $$$$$ need to wake up and realize what they are actually dealing with.
this is so fucking true.