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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
maximvsv
There are a lot of concerns and insecurities there that get folded into one.
I have a paternalist disposition.
I am insecure about my own income, to begin with. I would prefer to be making enough, on my own, to fund myself and a spouse. I would also prefer to be making more than my spouse.
One of my biases is that I think that a woman ought to not want to be in sex work. I would feel bad if I thought that she was in it or continued in it solely because there was not enough money for her from some other source. I would be insecure about having enough money and enough of an income that I could support my spouse, so that having money is not a factor in her being in it or continuing to be in it.
I have many friends that have been married 20 plus years. There are plenty of ups & downs in careers & at different times either one was making more than the other. Less income at career changes, or lay offs and such, Neither were the top earner forever & getting divorced due to such circumstances was never an option. And in the beginning they were either both sex workers or just one was, what was important was working as a couple towards the same goals.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
Adelina
Pursuing a woman is demoralizing? Since when? If a man doesn't have the balls to pursue me, he is not worthy of me.
It is statements like yours as to why some men turn into stalkers and don't know when to walk away when a woman says she's not interested. There is no winning over process like the movies. A woman either likes you (to various degrees) or she doesn't.
And to clarify because my post wasn't quoted correctly, it's demoralizing to pursue a woman romantically if you know she has no interest in you which is always apparent from the beginning.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
Did you tell your wife about every single time you waltzed in the strip club, clicked on pornhub, or jacked off to some fetish she doesn’t know about??
It's not the same comparison. Actually having sex live with other people is not the same as looking at a bunch of pixels on a computer screen. Men don't even have the ability to have as much sex, or have willing sexual partners as women do.
Also, when men do have sex, we don't bond as easily with sexual partners meaning we take it as just a notch under our belt and nothing further which is why a man can bed 3000 women and eventually settle down with 1 woman but you never hear of a woman who slept with 3000 men and became a happy normal housewife later on.
When it comes to sex and how men and women process and value it it is completely different.
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
95%of men cannot handle that kind of truth even though they say they want it.
You're right. But it's something biological. No man is going to be ok with knowing that his woman is a sex worker or use to be.
The only men who I have seen that truly don't care are pimps and male drug addicts who use women to make them money to buy drugs. In both of these instances men are using a woman body as a tool to obtain something else that they see is more valuable.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
rickdugan
So lover, your theory is that she should have precluded herself from a high percentage of the eligible market by coughing up ancient history every time she got serious? Honestly, what she did before you is none of your business and the only reason it ever came up again is because of an absurd low probability situation.
Besides, it sounds like your marriage went to shit for reasons completely unrelated anyway, so that whole little diatribe sounds whiny and disingenuous. Also, if you know that she's a member of this site too, why in the world would you post this here? This is private business and should have remained that way.
I do wonder though how your marriage would have fared if you showed a little more loyalty to the mother of your children instead of searching for ancient history to hold over he head.
His story is actually a familiar one. I have seen it play out over before. He thought he married what was actually presented in front of him but in actuality there was hidden baggage.
How is it that before people buy homes, cars, or even to hire an individual all want background checks but with relationships you're expected to go into it blind.
Regardless of gender if you're planning on getting serious with someone and starting a family your partner should be told if sex work was involved in the past and to what extent.
It's easy for you to criticize this guy because you're not in his shoes but how would you like it if the mother of your child and your wife had a secret life she didn't tell you about? It's not even just about sex work it could be 200k in student loans and unpaid credit card bills that was kept hidden how would you like that? Still going to be loyal?
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
I have to disagree with this statement some what. Guys can have the ability to have as much sex and as many partners as they want. Tons of guys bed a lot of sexual partners. However, that was my experience with men. :) Also, not too many people want to settle down with people who had over 500 partners despite their gender. Frankly, the sex partner count does not determine how stable that person is going to be in an relationship. Also, there are tons of men do not care if they marry sex workers but they have to be secure within themselves. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
It's not the same comparison. Actually having sex live with other people is not the same as looking at a bunch of pixels on a computer screen. Men don't even have the ability to have as much sex, or have willing sexual partners as women do.
Also, when men do have sex, we don't bond as easily with sexual partners meaning we take it as just a notch under our belt and nothing further which is why a man can bed 3000 women and eventually settle down with 1 woman but you never hear of a woman who slept with 3000 men and became a happy normal housewife later on.
When it comes to sex and how men and women process and value it it is completely different.
You're right. But it's something biological. No man is going to be ok with knowing that his woman is a sex worker or use to be.
The only men who I have seen that truly don't care are pimps and male drug addicts who use women to make them money to buy drugs. In both of these instances men are using a woman body as a tool to obtain something else that they see is more valuable.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
It is statements like yours as to why some men turn into stalkers and don't know when to walk away when a woman says she's not interested. There is no winning over process like the movies. A woman either likes you (to various degrees) or she doesn't.
And to clarify because my post wasn't quoted correctly, it's demoralizing to pursue a woman romantically if you know she has no interest in you which is always apparent from the beginning.
I disagree. It's not always apparent whether the woman is interested in a man from the beginning. Unlike most men, who consider women's physical attributes the decisive factor whether he is interested in a relationship with her or not, a woman usually takes time to evaluate her potential partner's qualities. And it takes time to learn whether those qualities are up to her standards, or not.
And this: a stalker is someone who was clearly told that she was not interested, and he is still trying to pursue her. Someone who she is still potentially considering but she has not yet decided for certain one way or the other, is a prospect, not a stalker.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Bruh! Everyone has secrets
If this is the case NO ONE would ever marry and/or divorce rate would be sky high
Yes you are supposed to be MORE honest with your spouse but no one is 100% honest to anyone.
If husbands were more honest they’d admit they contracted clamydia back in ‘05, that they have sex addictions, that they are serial cheaters, and that they will spend money (that could be used on their wife n kids) on porn, that they have extreme fetishes they pay for behind their wives backs, and that they frequent strip clubs/get lap dances without their wives knowing.
The only thing spouses need to be aware of are past adult work that have a high certainty of affecting the present and future.
And dude never said anything about 200k debt so where is that coming from?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
His story is actually a familiar one. I have seen it play out over before. He thought he married what was actually presented in front of him but in actuality there was hidden baggage.
How is it that before people buy homes, cars, or even to hire an individual all want background checks but with relationships you're expected to go into it blind.
Regardless of gender if you're planning on getting serious with someone and starting a family your partner should be told if sex work was involved in the past and to what extent.
It's easy for you to criticize this guy because you're not in his shoes but how would you like it if the mother of your child and your wife had a secret life she didn't tell you about? It's not even just about sex work it could be 200k in student loans and unpaid credit card bills that was kept hidden how would you like that? Still going to be loyal?
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
I honestly think there are holes in that guys story.....
Seems fabricated
How she go from working as a stripper in the past to her ex extorting her for sex tapes?
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
which is why a man can bed 3000 women and eventually settle down with 1 woman but you never hear of a woman who slept with 3000 men and became a happy normal housewife later on.
Not true, a lot of these high count men have "madonna-whore" complexes and the thought of settling down in a monogamous relationship is alien to them. I was reading through the Return of Kings/Roosh forum a few years ago and remember a thread where many users admitted that they just can't get hard for a "nice" girl-next-door type no matter how drop dead gorgeous she is.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
I’ve had a couple of longer term relationships with women in the industry. I don’t have a jealous bone in my body. I only care about how someone is with me, not how they are with anyone else.
So if it’s the right person I don’t actually care about anything other than if they’re a good partner or not.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
^why would any “churchgoing virgin” want a hypocritical guy who’s been completely jaded from a plethora of past baggage-causing situations
If she’s wise she’ll chose a fellow churchgoing virgin like herself.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
^why would any “churchgoing virgin” want a hypocritical guy who’s been completely jaded from a plethora of past baggage-causing situations
If she’s wise she’ll chose a fellow churchgoing virgin like herself.
Good point
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Ive been married twice. First time, i became a camgirl 2 years into our marriage. He loved the money i made. But he did get jealous bc he's stupid and thought i actually got horny to these rqndom guys, kept explaining it was just an act, a job, he was insecure. He actually cheated on me a bunch. I never did. I left him after 7 yrs. My 2nd husband who is still my husband knew i was a camgirl before. I got back into it after i had lost my job, he loves it. In the beginning he even did it with me making couple videos. There are guys out there that aren't total insecure idiots who won't tear you down for your line of work. And chances are they got a bigger dick and are hotter than the last guy you were with. Just saying lol. Guys who get jealous about your work --that's small dick energy. Point blank period.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
Violethollywood
Ive been married twice. First time, i became a camgirl 2 years into our marriage. He loved the money i made. But he did get jealous bc he's stupid and thought i actually got horny to these rqndom guys, kept explaining it was just an act, a job, he was insecure. He actually cheated on me a bunch. I never did. I left him after 7 yrs. My 2nd husband who is still my husband knew i was a camgirl before. I got back into it after i had lost my job, he loves it. In the beginning he even did it with me making couple videos. There are guys out there that aren't total insecure idiots who won't tear you down for your line of work. And chances are they got a bigger dick and are hotter than the last guy you were with. Just saying lol. Guys who get jealous about your work --that's small dick energy. Point blank period.
Being jealous is always only about two things.
it’s either one doesn’t think they can hold onto the person they want. In which case they should be looking inward, asking themselves why they think that.
it’s about lack of trust in the other. In which case one needs to ask why, and if it’s because they gave you cause look for someone else. If it’s because you can’t trust, see above.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
This is a very interesting question. For me I would not have a problem with it. A lot of men have trouble seperating fact from fiction and think that they'll have endless sex parties not realising that strippers etc are human beings that need care and attention like anybody else. I hope I know better. If I was so fortunate as to meet someone from the adult industry I wouldn't take her for granted. I would make sure she was cared for and looked after.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
I became a thousand times more conservative after I had entered the industry. If I told you how long it has been since I have had a sexual relationship with a man, you wouldn't believe me. This job did wonders for my abilities to screen men. I am not easily impressed and will hold out for the right guy no matter how long that takes. My real life is 180 degrees opposite of what SC customers might envision lol
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
I don't know if it's maturity or that I've gotten more open minded and/or kinky with age. When I was in my 20s and 30s, my attitude would have been something like this: you're MY girl and I am the ONLY man that can touch and feel your body. Those are my tiddies and my ass and I don't share my gold with anyone... And, vice versa, I'm all yours, baby; you hold the key to my heart and my dick... But, my attitude now (early 40s) would be different, I'm less possessive. It would be something like this: as long as YOU can handle being in the adult industry and you don't drink too much or do drugs or put yourself in any physical or psychological risk, I support whatever you want to do. And, it's actually kind of sexy to be married to a sex goddess that many men lust after, but, she comes home to me every night.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jack0177057
I don't know if it's maturity or that I've gotten more open minded and/or kinky with age. When I was in my 20s and 30s, my attitude would have been something like this: you're MY girl and I am the ONLY man that can touch and feel your body. Those are my tiddies and my ass and I don't share my gold with anyone... And, vice versa, I'm all yours, baby; you hold the key to my heart and my dick... But, my attitude now (early 40s) would be different, I'm less possessive. It would be something like this: as long as YOU can handle being in the adult industry and you don't drink too much or do drugs or put yourself in any physical or psychological risk, I support whatever you want to do. And, it's actually kind of sexy to be married to a sex goddess that many men lust after, but, she comes home to me every night.
Just be understanding enough to know that, after dealing with testosterone for a full shift, she’s apt to be slightly less tolerant of yours. Not all the time, but often enough.
if you can manage that it will be fine on the days she’s nor suffering from over exposure to the male libido. ;D
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
Golden_Rule
Just be understanding enough to know that, after dealing with testosterone for a full shift, she’s apt to be slightly less tolerant of yours. Not all the time, but often enough.
if you can manage that it will be fine on the days she’s nor suffering from over exposure to the male libido. ;D
I have a high libido. At least once a day would be ideal and less than four times a week would be a deal-breaker for me, regardless of whether she works in the adult industry or in a church.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Violethollywood
Guys who get jealous about your work --that's small dick energy. Point blank period.
There are guys with giant schlongs who get jealous too. Just a few less of them maybe, and they learn to 'rise above' it a little easier. ;D
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Hahah... like that play on words
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
To go a little deeper than my earlier comment, if i loved her i would marry her. I don't know that i could marry an active escort, though. Just don't like the idea of some other dude sticking his dick in my girl, for any reason. Just a recipe for disaster. Nothing against Escorts, just a hangup i have. An EX-escort is fine, if i loved her. I'd marry a Stripper in a heartbeat if i loved her, or a camgirl, or pretty much everyone else.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
His story is actually a familiar one. I have seen it play out over before. He thought he married what was actually presented in front of him but in actuality there was hidden baggage.
How is it that before people buy homes, cars, or even to hire an individual all want background checks but with relationships you're expected to go into it blind.
Regardless of gender if you're planning on getting serious with someone and starting a family your partner should be told if sex work was involved in the past and to what extent.
It's easy for you to criticize this guy because you're not in his shoes but how would you like it if the mother of your child and your wife had a secret life she didn't tell you about? It's not even just about sex work it could be 200k in student loans and unpaid credit card bills that was kept hidden how would you like that? Still going to be loyal?
And men should fully disclose if they have any mentally & physical abuse against past partners. Since 1/3 of men have at least once been physically violent with their sexual partner. And if so then they should be banned from ever entering a relationship again. They more so should remove themselves from society & have a worst stigma than women who have been sex workers.
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
^that would ban 90% of men lol!!!
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Re: Would You Marry A Woman Who Worked In Adult Industry????
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Originally Posted by
Sam38g
And men should fully disclose if they have any mentally & physical abuse against past partners. Since 1/3 of men have at least once been physically violent with their sexual partner. And if so then they should be banned from ever entering a relationship again. They more so should remove themselves from society & have a worst stigma than women who have been sex workers.
As a man, i agree.
But the ones who don't do that... Just don't do it. The ones that do... will never tell you that they do. I would never strike a woman, One woman i was with cheated on me all the time, still never struck her. I just got the fuck out of that relationship.