No it wouldn't, come on! 90% of men do not hit their women.
I realize you were being factious but needed to set the record straight. Many, many, men will not cheat on you and definitely won't hit you. I'm not the only one.
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^^^good point Raziel.
I have to go back in her post but I believe I saw it say emotional and physical abuse.
More unsavory characters know they cant physically hit women cause they’ll get in trouble with the law n there’s evidence so instead they hit with words.
Thankfully I’ve never been physically abused by my partners/lovers/etc but the majority of them were emotionally abusive.
Ive had guys tell me no men would love me, that they hoped I’d be “dogged out” by other men, that I should “think small”, tamper with my birth control, etc.
I left them once the emotional abuse appeared of course because I knew that emotional abuse will destroy ones self esteem just as bad as physical abuse.
Good thing I have a relatively high self esteem despite dealing with men who I discovered didn’t respect me/women in general
Im dating a guy now who respects me is faithful and wouldn’t dare do any of this low level type behavior towards me (or women in general) so I know there are definitely good men out there.
miss.a.p1600, you had the wrong guys. Many, many men would never even have it occur to them to do that to you. I wouldn't (This isn't a come on, i don't come to Stripperweb to find a date). You just have to find them.
But they are out there. I'm not the only one.
Very true! I think ladies should always keep in mind your last 3 sentences.
I don't even know what to say to that. I can't imagine a man saying that to you. I'm sorry it happened.
Yeah, unfortunately, probably. People do that shit. Their are Women who do the same thing.
GOOD. A lot of women try to fix him. She can't. She's in for a whole life of pain. I'm glad you didn't fall into that trap.
Some guys are extremely selfish. They only care about themselves. You are an object for them to OWN. I tend to call my girlfriend "My girl" but i don't OWN her. They think they do.
Good. He's a lucky dude.
Edit to add: Especially if a dude balls up his fist and punches you (This isn't Directed at you Miss.a.P1600) DROP HIM NOW. Don't wait. If he did it once, he WILL do it again. I know men. I am one. It's hard to change them. If he hits you LEAVE,
Someone who hits you... could be someone who kills you.
Have, and would again.
LOVE industry ladies as partners. Hustle, Muscle, Beauty and Brains
I completely agree. I'm not the tall, dark and handsome type of guy that goes into a club and pulls the 'digits' (or email, FB, IG or whatever it is these days) of the hottest girl there in under 10 minutes. Yet, I have dated very attractive girls way above my 'league' with a little pursuit. I have never pursued a girl when there is 0% chance and the pursuit will be a waist of my time and a creepy uncomfortable experience for her. There are subtle signs and hints a lady gives you to indicate that you have a shot with her if you put in some effort into it and play your cards right. If there is even a 10% chance that you can romance your way to dating her, its game on. Some guys think that is too much work and too old-fashioned, but, in the end, you get the prize and it's validating for both of you. The tricky thing in all human interaction is reading the nonverbal signs. If there is 0% interest, abort, because a pursuit will make you a stalker. But, if a lady gives you the smile that says - I'm not sure about you, but, try to impress me - then, there is nothing creepy about taking up her challenge.
Ok, wait a moment...
I am all about no one being unkind, and particularly being unfair, to anyone else, however I am hear to tell you that if 25 years of going into people's homes, dealing with the results of their worst selves, etc...
Men and women are different, equal but different...
One of ways we are very much the same is in precisely how unkind and unfair we can be with our partners. We may do so in different ways, but cruelty is not a male frailty, it is a human one.
So while you may very well be right in that folks who have any sort of history of cruelty be forbade further relationships, be prepared to dole that out equally across the spectrum and include all forms of abuse, mental as well as physical.
Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander...
About ten years ago, i lived in an apartment with a girl (who shall remain nameless). She took advantage of the fact i couldn't hit her. She'd hit ME. I think she'd been in an abusive relationship before and now she had the power. I just cannot bring myself to hit a Woman, ANY Woman. And she took advantage of that. Needless to say, the relationship ended. She was all SAD that i was leaving her. It blew my mind. I told her "have a nice life" and left. She was actually crying. But she was very abusive, so i didn't have a choice. I couldn't even defend myself! She was calling my phone, leaving messages and stuff, but the quick cut hurts least and heals fastest. This is the short version, but there are a LOT of stories i could tell about her.
So, yeah, there are abusive women out there.
Very true! There is no shortage of personality disordered people from both genders. Typically - of the subset of individuals who have personality disorders - men are more likely to be narcissistic personality disordered while women are more likely to be borderline personality disordered
I’ve watched plenty of Snapped shows and I think they’re almost always women going over the edge for whatever reason
If I dated women I could better understand that perspective but I never have been with a woman.
However as I woman I have learned not to hit men (unless it’s self defense) because while most men won’t hit back......there are some that will! —- And they’ll hit with more power.
As far as marriage....I’ve never told a guy I’m dating with a goal towards marriage that I used to work in adult industry. I’m not even sure I would (because it’s in the past and there is no hard proof I’m aware of) unless I knew for a fact he wouldn’t judge and wouldn’t let that piece of info influence his decision to continue in a long term relationship
To get back on topic, YES, I would marry a woman in the Adult Industry... If i loved her. But only then. I know the difference. Camgirl, if i loved her. Stripper, if i loved her. Not too sure about an active Escort (Again, nothing against Escorts), but an Ex-Escort, if i loved her. Porn Star, if i loved her. Anybody see a pattern, here?
If i loved her, i would marry her. I don't give a shit what her past is or what her job is.
^So at what point would you want them to tell you or do you think they should tell you if they don't work in the industry anymore (their is no proof that could come back later)?
I mean this thread actually reminds me of that other thread about the fetishes and how some guy was saying he didn't want to tell his wife his deepest fetish desires because some things should be left unsaid and he knew she was very straight-laced / would never understand and thought she would probably leave him.
I would probably tell them when i realized i loved them. Just, i don't know, hang it all out there.
As far as when they should tell me they work in the Adult Industry? (I apologize, i misread your post) As far as i go, and this is just me, they should tell me when they feel comfortable enough with me to share ANY information about herself. Not just that she's a Stripper or Camgirl or whatever, because i don't give a shit about that.. But her address, or even her last name. I just don't care until she cares. Then i care.
That's how it's always been. For me. I can't speak for other guys.
If the lady is currently in the industry, I would want to know early on, like before sex. I think this is good for both parties. If the guy can't handle it and is going to dump you because you are a stripper or escort, he should do it before sleeping with you. Also, I feel like waiting to tell me until after sex is a bit manipulative.
As far as past involvement in the industry. I don't think you necessarily have to bring that up, unless the topic of past work comes up, because, if you try to hide the truth, you would have to start spinning an endless web of lies and you will eventually get caught in your lies and it will come off like you are ashamed of your past. That is worst than just saying the truth in the first place. The other situation where you should disclose your past to me is if I need a heads up about it. Like, if we are in a party somewhere with a lot of my professional peers and a few of them are likely to come up to you and say, "Jezebel, hi! Nice seeing you here! We miss seeing you at Stilletos, its just not the same since you left." This is specially true if you were an escort or a extras stripper, because, without a heads up, I may end up smashing some guy's face when I hear them whispering behind my back about my GF's professional skills.
I wouldn't really give a shit. Nothing against you, Jack, but i just care more about other things. Like does she hog the covers, or does she fart UNDER the covers (if she DUTCH OVENS me i'm gonna be pissed), or is she a good woman. I could care less if she's a Stripper. She doesn't even have to tell me that because i'm not going to care, anyway.
Again, i'm not so certain about a current active Escort (Nothing against Escorts, i just don't like the idea of other dudes sticking their dicks in my girl).
I think the question is not about you specifically, Raziel, but more generally. Some guys may not give a shit, some may not be able to handle, and some may think its cool as fuck to date a stripper.
These are the ones you want.
These are some you DON'T want. They have some weird hangup about it. Sooner or later they will demand that you stop. They tend to think they own you.
These are the ones you DEFINITELY don't want. All they'll do is show you off, they don't care about you. In their eyes you're just a Stripper. An object to stick their dicks in.
^ I disagree that guys who don't give a shit are the best partners. How can you not give a shit about her job, which is a very big part of her life and her identity? If you really do not care, you must have a very shallow level of emotional involvement in the relationship. Sex work comes with a lot of work hazards and can lead to many problems. If a woman I was starting to date told me she was a police officer or in military service, or, any job with serious risks, I would be concerned, I would not - not give a shit. This does not mean I'm not going to handle it, but, I do give a shit. If I started dating a lady and she told me she was a stripper, I would have some questions, like: (1) Was it your choice to become a dancer or were you forced into, (e.g., to support a child, pay overdue bills, etc.)? (2) How do you feel about being an exotic dancer? (3) Do you feel safe at the club where you dance? (4) How much alcohol do you drink while you work? The dancers in this site tend to be very mature and smart about their work, but, not all dancers are like that. I would be happy to date a dancer who is a strong independent smart woman who chooses to dance because of the flexible hours and good pay, who is proud of her body and feels comfortable in her skin, who is responsible with her alcohol or drug consumption and who realizes that this line of work has a short life span and she is already thinking of her next career path. On the other hand, I would not date a dancer that hates dancing, but, feels like she is trapped and has no other option, has low self-esteem, has alcohol or drug dependency issues, has no ambition or goals for the future, etc.
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BTW, hit enter every now and then to start a new paragraph. That was hard to read.
would you give any woman the third degree like this if she wasn’t in the adult industry? These are really personal questions that are none of your business and not exclusive to the adult industry. How would you feel if you were analyzed to this extent? If I am close to a partner they would get the answers to those questions in due time. You come in with too many preconceived notions to even play around in your head the idea of dating a sex worker.
I used to divulge early because I am out/open about my career, but way too many guys think they know more about my job and why I do it. You don’t
Right on. Right on. She isn't JUST a Stripper, Camgirl, or Escort. She is a whole person. Worthy of respect.
The reason why i say Men who don't give a shit are the best guys is because they are the ones most likely to be interested in the REST of her. Guys that think it's awesome to date a Stripper just want to fuck her and impress their friends. They only care about her club life, they don't give a shit that she likes to Zipline, or play Miniature Golf, or whatever. Or that her favorite color is Purple. All they wanna do is bring their friends to the club and brag. All that guy is is a toy for her to play with, or a wallet she can use, especially if he's handsome. She'll fuck him for a little while, but the second she meets a guy that doesn't give a shit about her job, he's Gone. He's basically a glorified regular.