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New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Hey! I've been pole dancing for a while, and was considering working at a club because I love to dance... the only thing is i dont really like slimy old men :-\
I've done a bit of online sex work and found that talking to men in a dirty way kinda made me feel a bit used, so i was wondering if anyone else felt this way, or if so why not? how do you dance for people and feel empowered? and how do you make your dirty talk not come off super cringey?
I have lots of friends in the cabaret/drag scene, and the audiences there are really wholesome and inclusive and diverse, but i really love dancing and i want to work in a club, just one with a nice audience.
Any advice would be appreciated!!
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Dirty talk isn't that important in strip clubs. It's all about selling lap dances and champagne rooms.
Some hustles include dirty talk, but most (including mine) do not.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
you're not going to make money just by pole dancing or standing around looking cute. acting sexual towards older men who you don't find attractive is literally what being a stripper is. it's not for everyone and doesn't really sound like it's for you, and that's not a bad thing.
there are plenty of women who feel the same as you but do it anyways, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.. but it doesn't sound like something you should push yourself to do unless you really need the money and don't have any other choice. it will just make you feel bad about yourself, used, dirty, whatever.. and make you bitter towards men. to some it just feels good and empowering but not everyone is like that.
ETA: i don't dirty talk either, you don't have to but there's definitely a heavy sexual aspect to it and yeah a lot of customers are gross but you still gotta act like you're into them sexually, even if it's more subtle
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
i know just sitting pretty wont work, thats the issue haha! can i ask how you feel empowered by it?
I've just finished uni now and my job prospects are pretty dire, especially bc ill have to move around a lot because of my partner in the next year. do you think effort vs. money wise, you'd make a lot more than working in retail or something? I know dancing is a hell of a hard job, and damn i'd love to do it, but just not with any men over 40 lmao
sorry for the barrage of questions, just thought i'd come to the source to ask!
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
just do something else for work.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
That's okay! I know I definitely don't. Typically for me, I try cracking jokes and for older men, I tend to go into deep intellectual conversations with then. Everyone's got a thing they use. I've told guys that I can't be the fake flirty wave stripper and that I'm a down to earth person and many of them appreciate it. Then you break out your moves in the VIPs. Theres no need for the ridiculous dirty talk and what not.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
I don’t dirty talk because I’m terrible at it but you don’t want to dance for men over 40 ? 40 isn’t even that old.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Dude, most of the money is men over 40. Also, the younger guys are fucking clueless on how to behave in a strip club. The older men at least know better as far as etiquette; whether or not they behave is another story :D
I don't do dirty talk. One customer wanted me to, and I kinda tried, but it's just not my thing. Hundreds of other customers don't care at all.
I feel empowered because I truly feel like I am providing attention and closeness to someone who is in need of that. Most men, hell most people in this society are intimacy deprived and touch deprived. I make people feel listened to and like they matter, for a little while. If they pay me enough, they get physical closeness too, in a lap dance. I get to make money by shining my light for another person, and sharing that light... and my hot body of course, lol. I used to hate lap dances but I don't anymore, most of the time. I am empowered because I choose who I dance for. If I don't like someone or they are disrespectful, I cut them off. If they are annoying me on stage, I walk away and ignore them and focus on the pole. I am good at finding the shred of good left in the weirdest weirdo, know what I mean? And I focus on that.
It's different for everyone though. You might just have to try it out and see for yourself. Pole skills don't matter in most clubs
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Spicecake
I don’t dirty talk because I’m terrible at it but you don’t want to dance for men over 40 ? 40 isn’t even that old.
Yeah in most clubs there's gonna be dancers older than that...
If your plan is to avoid 90% of the customers that will actually spend money, I wouldn't recommend dancing. It sounds mostly like you're looking for a club where you just do stage and get tips, which is a pretty rare thing to find nowadays. You can check what's around in your area but most clubs your income is going to be from lap dances and you really don't want to arbitrarily decline a giant section of the customers.
Honestly I find the older men better customers simply because they (mostly) understand that the stripper isn't really into them and the only reason we're dancing for them is the money. A lot of younger guys are positive you're into them if you show them ANY interest at all during the dance/chatting on the floor, and will think things like "oh this girl really wants me I should deffo wait in the parking lot later for her" etc.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
"cabaret/drag scene, and the audiences there are really wholesome and inclusive and diverse, but i really love dancing and i want to work in a club, just one with a nice audience."
the idea of a club with a "nice audience" is silly, it doesn't exist. why don't you try burlesque or pole dancing at a studio? unfortunately those don't pay much but it sounds like you'd enjoy it a lot more.
you can't really learn to find dancing empowering if it disgusts you.. not without going through a lot of trauma from allowing your boundaries to be pushed past your comfort level until you become numb and used to it. i've always been promiscuous and into much older men so it doesn't make me feel that way.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
During my first year dancing so far, only one person has asked me for dirty talk. I'm not good or into dirty talk so I'm sure I sounded awkward a f, but he didn't seem to mind.
I personally don't think of stripping as some female "empowerment" thing. To some dancers it might be, but it's different for everyone. I just happen to enjoy it, and I disagree with the stigma behind it. The dancing is fun. And who doesn't like feeling pretty or being told they are pretty? Sexuality and lust are natural feelings and shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of. It doesn't make someone a "dirty, slimy perv" for enjoying the sight of an attractive nude person.
Contrary to what your thinking, the "young" barely legal and 20 year old customers are usually more capable of being worse (more grabby, cheaper, stalkerish, entitled) than the over 40 men. You're gonna get young douchey guys who think they are doing you a favor by calling you over to them when you're sitting with an older customer. Even though the old guy brought dances or tipped you for your time if he simply wanted company, the young guy just wants to drink and keeps suggesting you to go out with him and you never make a single dollar from him.
Overall, you don't seem like you'd ever be comfortable and it's not something you should further consider.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
zoeg
Hey! I've been pole dancing for a while, and was considering working at a club because I love to dance... the only thing is i dont really like slimy old men :-\
I've done a bit of online sex work and found that talking to men in a dirty way kinda made me feel a bit used, so i was wondering if anyone else felt this way, or if so why not? how do you dance for people and feel empowered? and how do you make your dirty talk not come off super cringey?
I have lots of friends in the cabaret/drag scene, and the audiences there are really wholesome and inclusive and diverse, but i really love dancing and i want to work in a club, just one with a nice audience.
Any advice would be appreciated!!
Yeah. Either suck it up or don't dance. Dirty old men come with the territory. Stop being such a goddamn snowflake. This industry isn't about "empowerment" it's a fucking job like any other. It pays the bills.
You want my advice? Don't dance. This industry is already going down the shitter. We don't need dead weight added to it.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
zoeg
Hey! I've been pole dancing for a while, and was considering working at a club because I love to dance... the only thing is i dont really like slimy old men :-\
I've done a bit of online sex work and found that talking to men in a dirty way kinda made me feel a bit used, so i was wondering if anyone else felt this way, or if so why not? how do you dance for people and feel empowered? and how do you make your dirty talk not come off super cringey?
I have lots of friends in the cabaret/drag scene, and the audiences there are really wholesome and inclusive and diverse, but i really love dancing and i want to work in a club, just one with a nice audience.
Any advice would be appreciated!!
The major thing I see from your post is that if you already know you would feel used, then my advice would be not to dance. I think that feeling would get worse when you start lap-dancing. Even if you don't dirty talk, from your post it sounds like you might still get bothered. Yes, there will be some "slimy old men" that just comes with the territory. If you like to dance and empowerment is what you seek, or you just want to feel pretty, or anything like that I would recommend getting into pole fitness. You can wear cute outfits and learn routines and even do competitions. That could be empowering and fun. Stripping, however, is just a job, and not a means to self-esteem.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
I really dislike women like you that think they can be a stripper or any type of sex work but not do x y z. You can just do stage but have fun not making any money. Same with my friend, I love her but I don’t work with her because she refuses to do lapdances and slut shames the girls that do and expects to make all her money from stage. Then is upset when she doesn’t make any money. ::)
Nothing wrong with not being able to pretend that you’re not interested in men but this isn’t the job for you. The only thing I would think is to work at a club that is strictly stage focused and work on your pole dancing skills (you may have to move, they’rd kind of rare), or do burlesque or something of that sort.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
GirlAnachronism,
Hope you don't mind the re-quote from another thread I just liked it so much:
"everyone wants to be a stripper and thinks they can- minus *insert whatever part sounds hard or unpleasant to them*.
"can i be a stripper but wear a masquerade mask to hide my identity/use a fake ID to hide my identity/not let guys touch me/not dance for the really creepy guys/not give lap dances but only go on stage to do my burlesque routines/travel dance and make bank in vegas even though i'm out of shape with a mullet and have never danced before?.................... looking to make 1k a night btw "
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RyanXO
GirlAnachronism,
Hope you don't mind the re-quote from another thread I just liked it so much:
"everyone wants to be a stripper and thinks they can- minus *insert whatever part sounds hard or unpleasant to them*.
"can i be a stripper but wear a masquerade mask to hide my identity/use a fake ID to hide my identity/not let guys touch me/not dance for the really creepy guys/not give lap dances but only go on stage to do my burlesque routines/travel dance and make bank in vegas even though i'm out of shape with a mullet and have never danced before?.................... looking to make 1k a night btw "
I had forgotten about those threads. They made me lose brain cells.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
You don't have to dirty talk to do this job. I mean it can help you make more money just like developing a stage presence, but at most clubs being able to sell is the main thing that matters. No over 40? Good look making a living doing this! I mean sure some young guys are good customers, but most of the money in most clubs is definitely the "over 40" crowd. lol
I mean this would obviously be more money than retail even at most shitty clubs. I'd imagine only the worst of the worst clubs you can't make more than a regular retail job :x I don't really see why someone would aim so low though.
Even if you get over some of your phobias of over 40 old perverts- this job will take a toll on you. I'd say you probably won't like it. You might still make more than average if you are willing to hustle or kinda have it figured out, but yeah you probably won't like it.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
save yourself the headache. you think you can make money because of how skilled you are at the pole? newsflash:
a)80% will probably dance just as good, or better, than you.
b)customers will tip slutty susie who spreads eagle more than a good pole dancer. sex sells
c)the stage is such a small part of the job, some clubs put you on stage once a night. if that. and those are usually the good clubs.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Straight from the mouth of a longtime veteran: "Reality is an option."
Note: I nearly pissed myself laughing.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Why don't you try go-go dancing at a regular nightclub? Stripping is a sales job, not a dance job. Your boundaries (specifically not wanting to dance for anyone 40+, aka where all the money is) are going to make it impossible for you to make money stripping and compromising your boundaries every night will eventually traumatize you. Not wanting to dirty talk? Fine, that's not a necessary skill in the club. But not wanting to dance for older men is going to break you.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
You need to listen to your gut and respect yourself by respecting your unique boundaries. Everyone's boundaries ar different. If you are uncomfortable talking to any kind of man, you will not do well as a stripper.
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
If liking slimy old men were a requirement for stripping there would be like two strippers in the whole universe. You don't have to "dirty talk" but of course you will have to seem interested. In my experience the younger guys actually say way dirtier things. Older guys are annoying in their own special way and I actually prefer the younger guys over them but if you don't wanna be told a bunch of really graphic sexual things younger guys won't be for you either. Oh and you won't have an "audience" like at a drag show or cabaret. In fact a lot of times you will feel like a ghost up there dancing un noticed because a lot of the customers are just doing their own thing while someone is on stage and not really paying attention and the money is mostly made through dances not stage unless you work in one of the urban twerk-heavy clubs..
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Re: New dancer but i dont like dirty talk?
Learn to love it. Your bank account will blossom.