Champagne room/VIP disaster
Hello everyone, I would like to start by saying I am so grateful for this community. I appreciate everyone who’s taken the time to offer their advice while I’m on this new venture. I love that we can help and learn from eachother in an industry where genuine kindness is not the norm. Lots of love, xoxo
I recently went through something very strange. On the bright side, I sold a VIP room my seventh day. I feel like it is important to mention that the customer has been to the club before, and is a known well-off Jewish lawyer who’s described by the other girls as being “really rich” having a “love for black girls.” I know of one other instance that he’s done VIP at the club before, with this other black dancer. I remembered seeing him with her and a white girl, at the end of a bar flirting together. Later that night I hadn’t seen her for a while and when I did, she told me she’d had a room. So naturally, I kept him in mind as a face to remember, and this past Friday, I sat at the end of the bar where I remember seeing him sitting. Sorry if I’m being especially verbose, idk I’m a Libra we can’t help it plus I’m smoking a blunt while writing this... anyway
So as I’m sitting at the bar I’m surprised to see this guy come in. (He was there the Friday before). My plan had worked perfectly! He came right over to where I was and sat and we started talking, he gave me $20 to tip the girl on stage, (this was the same black girl he’d taken to vip the Friday before). He gave me $20 for sitting with him, bought me a glass of champagne and two shots, and seemed very interested in me. Mind you the only reason I had it in my mind to keep talking to this guy is that I figured he had money. I think this made my threshold for what I allowed waiver, too. We talked a bit sexually, he asked me if id ever been with a woman and I lied and said yes. I basically said whatever without being extremely vulgar that I knew he wanted to hear. He wanted to know that I am a sexual prowess with a fetish for women, but that I enjoyed his company too. So I tried my best to give him that. When the girl came over after her stage set, we both flirted with him and he did the same while I was on stage, gave her money to tip me. When I got off stage we went to do a dance with him, and he bought two with us both.
The dances were pretty intense. Afterward he bought 30 minutes with us both, which would be giving us each $500, $450 since he paid with his credit card (the club takes 10% if VIP fees aren’t paid in cash). We went into a room and almost immediately, it turned into a really sexual thing. I didn’t think or know that that’s how VIP’s went. I thought I was going to go in and unwind, relax. Instead I was blindsided with something completely different, and I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do or think, other than I really needed the $500 and I really didn’t want to ruin the other girl’s money either. I just kinda froze up. I feel very confused. I didn’t want to allow him to touch me the way he did, but I did and I’m not sure why I put myself through that. I feel like I didn’t get it as bad as the other girl did, though. Afterward she was like “See? He’s nice. He doesn’t try to have sex with you or anything.” I’m like... okay perhaps not, but it surely seemed like it was going there. I felt terrible. Indescribably terrible. Hours later when I got home, I cried to my boyfriend over the phone about how tired I was, how I felt it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t tell him what happened though. I haven’t been back since but I plan to this week.
I don’t know how to make sense of any of this really. I’m not sure how to navigate this, so much so that I’m not sure what I’m asking. What did I do wrong? I was thinking moving forward it’ll be easier to navigage the rooms, now that I know what is expected I can be on guard. Also I think it’d be easier to do so without having a girl who’s willing to do so much. I don’t want to go past a certain point with any customers, can anyone pinpoint where I went wrong and what I should’ve done?
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
For next time
You gotta get a sense of what type of people you going into VIP with and go only with people who are more your speed.
Don’t ever compromise for money. Be ready to walk tf out of it’s something that makes you uncomfortable. And talk beforehand about boundaries so mf know what you are and are not gone do. Just be confident that you can tell a mf, “hey Bob, just so you know there not going to be any xyz activity but we will still have a good time” or something to that effect, and still get some high spenders.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Seems like you and the other dancers have different boundaries and different expectations. Neither of you is wrong but upunjust mught not mesh well working together and may attract different types of customers.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
You didn't necessarily do anything wrong, think of it as a learning experience.
There's certain girls at my club I would NEVER EVER do a CR with, because I know they routinely do extras. You'll get to know which girls do more than you - just don't do doubles with them.
The other thing nobody's mentioned otherwise (and again, you're new, knowing this comes with experience) is that when a customer is asking tons of explicit sexual questions beforehand, he's usually expecting a fairly 'hot and heavy' CR session. If you're uncomfortable with him on the floor, that'll only get multiplied in the room.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Let me start off by saying that you should NEVER do anything that you are not comfortable in doing or might regret later. Once you start that you start down a slippery slope that you might never be able to recover from.
What did you think the guy expected after paying $1000 for 30 minutes. He didn't want to play checkers. He was not paying for the 3 of you to go back there to relax and cuddle for 30 minutes. I know that my options differ from most of what you read here but let's face it. We are sex workers, adult entertainers. Guys that pay a grand for 2 girls in VIP are going to expect something . I know you are very new to this game and don't have a groove that you have found yet,but you will soon find your place and start making serious money.
My best advice is do some soul searching and find your hard limits,and what the price tag is for that. Have a VIP menu. Never go back to VIP without having a real good idea what the custie has in mind .
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Badgyaljuicy
We went into a room and almost immediately, it turned into a really sexual thing. I didn’t think or know that that’s how VIP’s went. I thought I was going to go in and unwind, relax. Instead I was blindsided with something completely different, and I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do or think, other than I really needed the $500 and I really didn’t want to ruin the other girl’s money either. I just kinda froze up. I feel very confused.
One massive lesson you need to learn from this experience: This is how clean dancers turn into extras dancers. Your desperation for money drove you to push your boundaries further than ever before. Some predatory customers even know this and come in at the end of the month specifically trying to find girls desperate for rent money.
Don't put yourself even in the position of being desperate for money. Save up a nest egg if you can. Don't let yourself wait until the last minute to make the money you need for rent/car/etc.
Next is sounds like you might have been a little ignorant as to what can and does happen in a VIP.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Something similar happened to me. I quickly realized the other girl was an extras girl... I didn't participate in anything except for dancing and I ordered a drink, sipped my drink, and danced/swayed like I was just having good time, while the other girl let this guy do whatever. I made it clear by my actions that I was going to stand up and sip my drink, dance and watch anytime I was uncomfortable. I would laugh and flirt and do what I want. I didn't act awkward- just carefree. If she was mad or he was mad I didn't care because he already paid. I am very strict about extras- I do not do them ever. I know the girl was probably pissed after cause she was acting off but I don't care... and honestly deep down it was probably because she felt stupid that I got paid the EXACT same amount without bringing myself to that. :O
You do not ever need to do anything you do not want to do. YOU are naked. That is enough for the money.... he is there to see you and pay to SEE you. Remind yourself that and remind him if you need to.. If he gets mad.. welp he already paid and you never offered anything more than your time.
Also, don't beat yourself up about it. Feel the feelings, forgive yourself for it, learn, and leave it. Never allow yourself to be pushed again and get the money love!
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
I just want to add that there are NO written rules about what is expected of you in a VIP room. You will meet many guys who just want to chill and relax, and have a normal lap dance. They are willing to pay through the nose for this! Find and dance with those guys. And it is your right to run the VIP room how you want if you should find yourself with another guy like the lawyer. They prepaid, you can always leave if they are not listening to your (verbal and non-verbal) directions.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Since you're new, it's best you work alone until you get familiar with the environment....and even then, you still have to be cautious with ppl. Trust no one, only yourself.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Peaches 94
Let me start off by saying that you should NEVER do anything that you are not comfortable in doing or might regret later. Once you start that you start down a slippery slope that you might never be able to recover from.
What did you think the guy expected after paying $1000 for 30 minutes. He didn't want to play checkers. He was not paying for the 3 of you to go back there to relax and cuddle for 30 minutes. I know that my options differ from most of what you read here but let's face it. We are sex workers, adult entertainers. Guys that pay a grand for 2 girls in VIP are going to expect something . I know you are very new to this game and don't have a groove that you have found yet,but you will soon find your place and start making serious money.
My best advice is do some soul searching and find your hard limits,and what the price tag is for that. Have a VIP menu. Never go back to VIP without having a real good idea what the custie has in mind .
Listen OP, the response above is condescending coercive bullshit. YOU run your room and your body. YOU are NOT a Sex Worker. You are dancer and you don't have to be anything but a dancer. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Do not let pimp talking women or men dictate to you that your expectations are wrong. This entire job is Make it up as you Go. That's the beauty of it. The smart ass that wrote the post above WILL NOT be there when you get arrested. Your colleague could have been dragged tf out of the club if it was a sting. Also, guys who start asking bunch of explicit questions about what you are willing to do often are local law enforcement and in some towns, have the right to arrest you based on offering to do XYZ for money.
Keep being yourself and feel confident in moving back out of a handsy guys reach and saying NO when he won't take hint. Run it like a boss! You are the boss. Frankly it's rare to get to do a room with a hot guy so most of the time you won't want to be bothered with handsy behavior. That is your right and prerogative. Exercise it with NO SHAME!
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Optimist
Listen OP, the response above is condescending coercive bullshit.
Omg, i’m glad that you said something! That was one of the worst comments/advice coming from a fellow dancer I had ever read here!
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Right? Plenty of customers drop thousands without expecting sex. The highest spenders in fact tend to demand the least. Don't listen to any of that "advice."
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cede
Omg, i’m glad that you said something! That was one of the worst comments/advice coming from a fellow dancer I had ever read here!
Me too. That was some straight up bullshit.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
As it's already been said before... set your comfort zone. I made many promises to myself when I started dancing and I maintain them still.
Never let your desperation define your income.
And never let other peoples standards dictate your own.
Be safe. & Hold true to yourself, have a mindset of abundance because I PROMISE YOU for every customer that want to f*ck for $500 and tries to talk to you like there the only guy in there willing to spend, there is generous, amazing customer who will give you that $500 for your time & attention. For real.
Re: Champagne room/VIP disaster
Get your money up front always and never do anything you're not comfortable with! You'll make better money when you're emotionally and mentally healthy and know and respect your own boundaries. Always have at least one - six months bills saved so you never worry about money and feel desperate.
You have to be ON TOP of your emotional, mental and physical self care. Emotional self care is most important. But because you are going to run into people who think they have a right to violate your boundaries, but they don't This job is not worth it if you are violate your boundaries.
You NEVER have to do anything you're not comfortable with to make bank. I make great money every night BECAUSE I take care of myself and put MY happiness first in the club. Make your happiness your priority.