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Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Thank you to all of you who have contributed to this forum. It has been a wealth of information and a blessing to me. Keep hustling babes!
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Holy hell, what an asshole. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I would be sweet as sugar to him while camming your ass off and get a few thousand dollars put away so you can get your own place. It will suck to pretend to be okay but sounds like you'll need to stay there while you build up money. You need to be free from this horrible man.
Reread what you wrote here and try to see it from the outside looking in. What would you tell a good friend if she told you this story and asked for advice?
Also, if I were you I'd also add another cam site (maybe myfreecams, streamate, or stripchat) in there and build up some customers, maybe sign up for them through Boleynmodels so you can get daily pay in case you have an emergency and need money fast since you cannot count on him.
I would be scared to count on just Chaturbate since they will often ban chathosts out of the blue.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Man, this sucks! He's abusive. I'd save up as much as possible then exit. I agree with Laurie & be as sweet as pie then move out. It's upsetting to have someone claim to be liberal yet ruin your chances of independence.
I think getting out is more important than paying for a psychiatrist. Bust your ass for 4 weeks then bail.
I also agree that SM would be a good site to add in the mix.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Um, major red flags! He sounds very controlling and like he wants everything to be one-sided. You stated that you're financially dependent on him. That is something that controlling men like because it gives them the upper hand and power over you. He's comparing Tinder, a hook up site to camming? There's no comparison! One is for people meeting to have meaningless sex, while with camming you are not meeting up with anyone. You are camming to make money so I fail to see his logic. It sounds to me that he's trying to justify cheating on you because you are camming and that's not right. I bet he is using Tinder to cheat on you and in his fucked up mind, think's it's okay. There's so many red flags here. You need to get away from him. It will hurt if you love him to walk away but it sounds like doing so would benefit you in the long run. You need your independence so that you can make money without having to depend on someone like him. He's hindering your income and independence and therefore your happiness.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
What Laurie and ShaSha said, plus I'd also keep a log/diary of absolutely EVERYTHING he's doing. He's abusive and if he makes it difficult for you to leave, or causes you any problems after (or if, but I hope it's when!) you leave him, then you've already built a case of his behaviour should you need to seek outside support fromanyone, eg local authorities. I would count this post as part of your case, too. Hopefully it would not come to that but if it does, you've put yourself in good stead.
Build up as much money as you can and make a plan to get out of there. Don't tell him your plans or what you intend to do as the less he knows, the better. If you have anyone close to you who you can maybe tell your situation to then that may be a good idea aswell, so that you have some support when you go.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VivienDeVexo
Moral of the story.... Uh, don't tell anyone i̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶r̶̶̶e̶̶̶a̶̶̶l̶̶̶ ̶̶̶l̶̶̶i̶̶̶f̶̶̶e̶̶̶ who isn't trustworthy what site you are using to cam :(
I agree, those are all red flags. And I seriously hope you find your way out of that relationship because he sounds like a flaming douche canoe. Guys who love, respect, and support their sex worker girlfriend/wife definitely exist; he's just an asshole.
The fact that he'd even mention using a dating site WHILE DATING YOU is wild asf. I can't even.
Good luck with camming, it's pulled a number of us out of a dog fight so I hope you stick with it regardless of what he's doing. And, seriously, dump that guy.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Thank you for the responses. I'm processing right now. Hearing your replies really did a number on me. I cried quite a bit. "Holy hell, what an asshole" is literally the thing I needed to hear! Can you believe I initially thought the feedback would tell me I was wrong or overreacting?! Thank you so much for the love and support.
I am finishing up my streamate app that I started 5 years ago and signing up for other sites as well. Any ideas why my First name is wrong when trying to reset my streamate password? I emailed support, but it's a bit frustrating today, of all days (as all of this has happened in the last 24 hours). I broke my leg 5 years ago and never got back into camming after I could walk again. I have multiple camming applications that weren't finished due to the accident. 5 years later, still playing catch up, thank you American healthcare.
Currently taking advantage of the 7 day new model tag at chaturbate and then looking into splitcamming multiple paid sites after I get comfortable on a paid site vs a token site. I was on MFC 5 years ago and plan on reviving the account as I have read my camscore resets.
I don't totally feel comfortable camming when he's here. Building up my onlyfan and social media as well. I know I will have to hustle, but I think I can do it.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
These are all huge red flags of abuse.
Document everything as gbjenna said.
Create a safety plan. https://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/
Work on getting the hell out of there as soon as possible. Look into DV shelters (I am not sure where you are located) as a backup plan. Some are equipped with social workers, therapists, etc and can help you get the resources you need- assistance with health, mental health, housing, etc.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VivienDeVexo
Thank you for the responses. I'm processing right now. Hearing your replies really did a number on me. I cried quite a bit. "Holy hell, what an asshole" is literally the thing I needed to hear! Can you believe I initially thought the feedback would tell me I was wrong or overreacting?! Thank you so much for the love and support.
I am finishing up my streamate app that I started 5 years ago and signing up for other sites as well. Any ideas why my First name is wrong when trying to reset my streamate password? I emailed support, but it's a bit frustrating today, of all days (as all of this has happened in the last 24 hours). I broke my leg 5 years ago and never got back into camming after I could walk again. I have multiple camming applications that weren't finished due to the accident. 5 years later, still playing catch up, thank you American healthcare.
Currently taking advantage of the 7 day new model tag at chaturbate and then looking into splitcamming multiple paid sites after I get comfortable on a paid site vs a token site. I was on MFC 5 years ago and plan on reviving the account as I have read my camscore resets.
I don't totally feel comfortable camming when he's here. Building up my onlyfan and social media as well. I know I will have to hustle, but I think I can do it.
I'm glad you had a good cry. That releases oxytocin which is great to help you cope. This is pretty overwhelming. You're welcome and I have faith that it will all work out ok and you'll be so much stronger after this.
Trust your gut. You did good by reaching out. Sending you calm vibes.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
He is an abuser and you definitely should get away from him. But you know that now and can totally do it! Work as hard as you can as much as you can to build up money to leave him. Don't tell him anything, let him go ahead and use tinder to get him out of your hair but try not to sleep with him if you can. Get an STD test at your local state health clinic or planned parenthood (also see if there is a cheaper way to get health services based on your income in your state) Get a prepaid phone and/or a prepaid bank card (like green dot or bluebird) if you need to until you can get away.
Leaving him should be your biggest priority right now.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Everything what been said here. Plus, you need to let him know as little as possible about your online activity. He seems to be controlling.
At least for content sale such as clips, try to create a new account, with a different name, different mail account and sell them without him knowing.
It's gonna be difficult to record and delete all the traces, the clips u made, after you upload the clips on sites, but, untill you get the fuck out of there, you need to stay low key.
Wish you good luck, check out the threads you are not up to date and... maaan, I keep you the fingers crossed!!! You need to leave that asshole.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
I agree with everyone here also. Def try a different site with a different can name for a bit and or clips. That way he can't see your progress. This is so disgusting! I wanna bitch slap him for treating you this way. Hell even try aiming up for texting sites & do phone texting selling pics outside the home on ur phone. Say you're going for fresh air & take calls. I wish u well *hugs*
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
I hate this guy, he sounds like a narcissist sociopath.. I think you should cam and do video clips and whatever you can to make as much money as possible and get away from this dick!
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Might even want to get a brand new email address and start fresh (in a different browser than you usually use). I'd definitely change your name on Chaturbate later after you leave so he can't harass you as easily.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
right after women leave is the most dangerous time for women. I'm not saying don't leave-you should-but be very careful and go no contact. Saving then leaving is good but if you have anyone to stay with for a month or two (friend, sister, parents) I would do that instead. I'm sorry you are dealing with this but we are rooting for you.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
You are not responsible for his thoughts, feelings, or actions. I’d like to point out that if you feel crazy it’s because you have a crazymaker in your life. It’s not you that’s the crazy one. Abusers who abuse women love to distort your reality and then finally when you stand up for yourself or react to the abuse you look like the one who is crazy. Get out and get support before it gets worse. I highly recommend going to a women’s shelter. You don’t need bruises and broken bones to be abused or to get help from the women’s shelter. You don’t even have to stay at the shelter. You can get support and resources for free. You are enough and worthy of healthy love. Sending you love and light.
P.S. Abusers are always responsible for the abuse! Abuse crosses all educational, races, and socio economic backgrounds. Don’t blame or shame yourself for other people’s shitty behavior. If someone treats you like trash, it’s because they are trash. Healthy and happy people don’t go around hurting other people.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
He is already cheating and has been using Tinder.
He most likely slept with other people on his vacations.
He is a HUGE ABUSIVE CONTROLLING ASSHOLE and you need to GET AWAY FROM HIM.
First i would CUT OFF ALL SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY!!
get tested for STI infections including HIV at planned parenthood. They will do this for free if you don't make enough money.
also ask for some housing resources while you are there
If worse comes to worse I would start searching for motels that offer a weekly rate and try to cam from there until you can get a studio apartment. While you are there CAM YOUR BOOTY OFF.
Get something to defend yourself peppersprays, tasers, ETC.
Maybe try to come to a mutual agreement with your EX about having housing until you get an apartment.
DO NOT sleep with this man EVER AGAIN! He is ABSOLUTELY cheating and you DESERVE BETTER! Don't put your health at risk for some asshole.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
as already said - get out, definitely.
My boyfriend thought it'd be hot when I started camming, he wanted to watch and stuff but he hugely respected if I said yes or no, he realised not long after that it's a job and honestly dull a lot of the time lol.
The fact he's filming you naked without consent is HUGELY scary, he's not willing to respect your boundaries, who knows which one he wont respect next? get out if you can xx
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
+ 1 for getting out ASAP.
Women’s shelter ( free ), couch of friend or family , then maybe week by week motel.
You don’t have to have full rent and deposit to get out.
You can upgrade living space in 2-3 months when ready.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Quote:
Originally Posted by
laurielegs
Might even want to get a brand new email address and start fresh (in a different browser than you usually use). I'd definitely change your name on Chaturbate later after you leave so he can't harass you as easily.
This. I second this idea.
Start completely fresh, if you can. If you're on a platform that allows you to block him preemptively then even better. Maybe block your state as well? Just start blocking.
*And keep (or open) one account for the sole purpose of letting him slip in because if you close him out of everything then it'll become obvious really fucking fast that you're shutting him out. I'd keep just one site open so he can continue to be his jackass self without him knowing that you're 3 steps ahead.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Get on Talk to Me and do phone sex and texting, you don't have to upload your face. Do a clip site and upload, upload, upload! Sign up through BoleynModels for Streamate and Cams.com so you can get daily pay. You can add a bluebird card to it for direct deposit. Good luck and I hope you stay safe.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Hi everyone! I just want to thank you for your support and kindness. I have signed up with a new Chaturbate through Boleyn Models. Had a great show last night, my first private EVER lasted 2 hours and I made $300!! It was awesome. First daily pay from Boleyn will be some decent change. Currently waiting on streamate and it's been over a week. Read on another thread that I should email them to move it along, I will try that. I am hustling every day now and following the advice from other threads (stay on cam, get back on cam) and turned a 6 hour, 30$ shift into $300. Really love this community. Thank you!
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Nope. Nope and Nope. Please stop telling men your secrets, your past and stop asking them for permission. He is a boy friend, not a husband. Fuck him.
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kortneykay
Nope. Nope and Nope. Please stop telling men your secrets, your past and stop asking them for permission. He is a boy friend, not a husband. Fuck him.
OMG straight talk. I'm sure there are other girls who need to hear this, too. Thank you!
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Re: Boyfriend viewed Cam after asking him not to and then lied to me
he makes 120 k a year and he cant help you out? he should be treating you like a queen.
and going on vacations ALONE? what was he doing on vacation alone?
he is using your camming as an excuse to cheat on you with tinder.
find a different site to cam on, do it behind his back, save up money dont tell him, then leave his ass.