Stripping has left me with ZERO sex drive rant
So I know a lot of you can probably relate and I'm not looking for advice necessarily - just somewhere I can vent.
My sex drive and libido has fallen far below the sexy radar into negatives. My poor boyfriend.
The idea of sex/ kissing/ being touched, fully repulses me at the moment. I will literally be in the middle of kissing my boyfriend and I have to stop because it grosses me out so much.
I'm only stripping. I don't do extras/ at a non touching club although they will still try grabbing my ass and boobs sometimes. It's purely because I exert so much sexual energy throughout the night that I am over it.
I just want to be an ugly blob on my days off.
I love my boyfriend and don't want to lose him but I need to get the f**k over this.
Can anybody relate?
Re: Stripping has left me with ZERO sex drive rant
I can relate. I experienced this the most during my first year of stripping. Every time my boyfriend made sexual overtures toward me, I was always like...ugh...ANOTHER boner to deal with.
Figuring out my boundaries and the kind of club environment I thrive in helped a lot. It sounds like customers are disrespecting your boundaries at work, and that can really take a toll on one's libido. Anyway, I still struggle with low sex drive from time to time, but things have gotten a LOT better.
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Re: Stripping has left me with ZERO sex drive rant
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^^ Me trying to calculate how many days it's been and if I can get away with it for another night.
I have a lot of trouble with this. My partner is loving and supportive, but I have my own self-imposed guilt that doesn't need to be there. If your partner is pressuring you, that's another thread. But, I digress.
Here are a few things that have helped me:
1. Grouping my days off. I used to work alternating days because I'm a yenta and my feet hurt. I found if I work M-W or F-Sun, then 3-4 days after that I start feeling up to it.
2. "I've been going through a low sex-drive phase and I want to try something - will you let ME initiate sex?" (This way I'm not constantly ducking it/caught in a shame spiral.
3. Spend time apart that's happy and not just work-related. I find if I read a great book on my own, or have a great night out with a friend, I have built-up endorphins/happy energy for my babe. It is also just generally really important for my mental health to be social with platonic friends even when I'm exhausted. I have to force it sometimes to make plans, but once I get there I'm happy and in the end I'm better off for it.
4. DIY! The more you orgasm, generally the more you want it. If you're in the mood, go for it by yourself. It helps to sometimes feel connected to your own sexuality in a safe way before you want to do it with others. This works for me especially after a very hard shift to reclaim my connection to my body. Not usually just after, but morning after maybe?
I know it's hard. Keep talking about it. <3 <3
Re: Stripping has left me with ZERO sex drive rant
I also had this issue in my two year long term relationship. Lack of libido, no interested in sex, repulsed by touching. The relationship ended in October and all those issues have gone away...and I've had a higher sex drive than I've had in years. So in my case, it was the boyfriend not the customers!