Re: Ever feel like a loser?
Well honestly you sound a bit pessimistic
You cannot focus on what other people are doing. Focus on yourself and self-development perhaps this will be better for your situation than being down on yourself/comparing yourself to people with different circumstances.
Use a part of your stripper money to invest. Invest in your self development and invest in your dreams and invest financially.
Google “self fulfilling prophecy” and then start focusing on where you want to go (not the opposite)
And 40k is better than 0, it’s better than debt, and it’s average for most corporate people even with degrees (unless you live in places like NY, LA, Miami, etc) bit still its better than nothing.
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
All I can say is save yourself a huge savings account for these type of situations. Glad I did few years ago when I saw the changes over the years.
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
I scanned it and just thought " 40k " isn't *that* bad.
Are you in a VERY high cost city where that isn't liveable ? I just ask because that is about average where I am currently. Many people make that ( and live on it ).
The friends you are referring to ( I'm assuming making 50k-80k ? ) most likely started in their companies at a little lower price point .
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
I know how you feel. Take the 40k job and dance once a week to supplement. You will feel better about yourself while still making money and dealing with less customer bullshit.
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
*big hugs*
Yes, all the time.
I work very hard to crowd it out with positive thinking. It doesn’t necessarily get easier. But it’s so necessary.
I’m one of those girls who always loved dancing and earned relatively well... made 4 figure shifts regularly but didn’t push myself harder during some shifts when money didn’t come as easily because I wanted to uphold my standard of believing I shouldn’t have to work that hard! I don’t know that I truly regret this, honestly, on principle.
I didn’t get burnt out after 5 years of working 4-5 days I week, so I did begin to think I was immune to it and I didn’t worry about it, and continued to not push myself harder because I thought I had a GOOD 5 years left I could work and would start to earn more with more experience and yes some sales studying!
Burned out badly, only could bring myself to work a very little bit for a couple of years, depleted savings.
All of the money I’m able to eke out as profit now, I spend on investing myself, and sometimes to take CONSTRUCTIVE time off of work when I can’t even and when I want to have days on end to read some muthafuckin’ books (I LOVE reading and learning!) Over the past 2 years I’ve completed 2 yoga trainings for personal enrichment, and now I’ve hired a money mindset coach I’ve been working with for about a month.
Yes, things are starting to get better for me but it’s SO HARD NOT TO FEEL REGRET ABOUT NOT RETIRING WELL AND EARLY! Because I could have! I think about suicide more often than I want to admit.
Dancing is harder now. I continue to avoid revisiting sales training and applying it to dancing and creating new “material” to hustle, tweaking persona etc. That used to be fun for me and now I KNOW I need to start doing it soon or I’m kind fucked, but it’s like I’m allergic to it or something! I know it would increase my income and confidence due to competence and would have compounding returns, and yet... I’m going to wait until my coach (also a stripper) makes me do it. Very expensive way to force myself to do something. I couldn’t afford her all all. But that’s why people hire coaches - accountability.
I am broke. I say a lot of prayers and hope I will be able to retire this year and start a business and that all of my training and reading will redound to me and I’ll make it work.
I have no idea if I’m going to make it. It keeps me up at night. I wonder if I have to become a hermit and dance only trying to stack lap dances and not bother with rooms, every fucking day for 4-5 years and invest all of the money (which of course will be shit but I won’t have time to be out spending it in any way!!) and THEN try to start my business.
Obviously that is RIDICULOUS. So yeah sales training I’ll eventually have to revisit again and stop being a little baby about hating myself for forgetting it all! It’s useless to feel that way! Lol
Eventually things will improve for you because you won’t let yourself stay stuck like that!!!
But do whatever it is YOU need to do to force yourself through sales training again and retire this year from full-time dancing.
I apologize for length but I hope sharing my experience and struggles is helpful to you in some way.
*big hugs again*
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
I'm turning 30 this year, as well. Just kinda wish you didn't make it sound like it's "over the hill". And you're not. You have the capacity to change your stars, as it were. Yes, you'll be starting at the bottom if you should pursue a new career, but I feel that we're at an age where we still have the energy to advance and progress and pursue the things we seek without having the handicap of being 'wet behind the ears' as it were with these early 20-somethings, so that could give you a leg up. I had to work my way up to my tech level that I hold, and it just is what it is. But if you haven't formed an exit plan yet, you really need to get on that.
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
arielbriel
I know how you feel. Take the 40k job and dance once a week to supplement. You will feel better about yourself while still making money and dealing with less customer bullshit.
This worked well for me.
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
To get more to the heart of your question ..... I think a lot of people feel like this.
I have phases where I feel like I really messed up for not making more money overall .
Re: Ever feel like a loser?
Is this me? Are you me? I feel like you just described my life. I understand completely though. Why would you settle for a 40k a year job that sucks your fucking soul for nothing in return, no benefits, no vacation, no sick time, nothing. When you can dance and make your weekly paycheck in two nights. However, you’re definitely sacrificing your sanity. I myself have been considering leaving dancing as well because I’ve been having a terrible and stressful time. However I’ve been researching furiously to find decent companies with a lot of growth for quick promotions. Definitely not using what I got my degree in but I don’t care at this point. I’m so exhausted of struggling. I just want to be comfortable.