Intimidated by other dancers.
So I'm a wanna be baby stripper who has been dreaming about finally biting the bullet and auditioning but I'm more nervous about being intimidated by other dancers than I am being naked. Any tips or advice to overcome this? Am I the only one who has felt this way?
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Girll! Just do it. Just look at the guys in the area trying to turn them on or think sexy thoughts to get you through your 1st audition.
I was laughed at by a group of dancers while I was a newbie on day 1 (hello to those girls that are pieces of shit to newbies)...I was terrified being new. I think ladies are nicer nowadays.
Remind yourself that you are there for money and that's it. Put your flirt on and work it :).
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Fuck those bitches. Be respectful and polite, but don’t let those bitches scare you. They don’t have any authority over you. Make your money and ignore the haters
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Other dancers tried to intimidate me. I’m just under 4’11”, and that caused me a lot of problems in life as far as that went. They stopped after the attempt by one of them actually led to us fighting and she wound up with her nose broken.
Maybe don’t do that, though. Unless they leave you no other choice, and if it does come to that, dig deep, draw up every ounce of everything primal and savage about you - find your inner animal. Don’t slap fight and pull hair; throw punches. She wasn’t in for the fight. She thought she’d slap me a couple times and I’d just take it. She went into it to humiliate me; I went into it to destroy her. I threw punches, I grappled, I used choke holds, even bashed her face into the ground. I’m short, but pretty athletic, as well. Overpowering her wasn’t a problem.
Or maybe I jumped to an extreme too fast. If you’re feeling intimidated by them without it being something they’re doing directly to you, remember that they were all where you were at one point. They’re just as human and vulnerable as you are, it’s just that they have experience which you don’t yet have. You’re in charge of your own destiny as a dancer. Don’t let them dictate it to you.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
I remember starting out and feeling super intimidated because the club I got hired at seemed to have super high standards. I was not as in shape as the other girls were, so I had to work on that and I lost a good amount of weight and toned up. Then they started hating on me LOL I'm. The bottom line is, if the girls are being mean to you, it's not a bad thing. Consider it a compliment if they're bitchy to you because then the see you as competition,. Be polite and respectful but don't kiss anyone's ass either. Usually I just keep to myself and focus on what I'm doing and just be polite and respectful and pretty much just not say anything at all. I have tried to make friends at work and I've made a few, but for the most part some of these girls are cray cray
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Wow, these are some negative experiences. Maybe I’ve been lucky to face better. At worst, I might have heard an occasional snarky comment from another dancer, but those are easy to ignore. Usually the bigger bitchier/power tripping behavior is from managers or bartenders in my own personal experience.and I’ve never dealt with anything where anything would come down to violence.
And in my experience, the more pretty girls on a shift, and the more high-volume, the less drama a club is less likely to have. Yes there can be exceptions, but that will most likely be because of how a manager is running a place.
I say all this as somebody who is very baby-faced and young-looking in general. And bluntly speaking somebody may be perceived as “intimidate-able” There may be some customers before who talked down to me and tried to make me feel like I can’t make money (and that’s why I should do xyz cheap). But other dancers leave me alone for the most part, just like I leave them alone. The occasional times I chat with someone in the dressing room, it’s usually a good conversation.
Heck, sometimes some are pretty empathetic. I remember being really upset at some drama bs once (that came from a manager, not a dancer) and I was quietly sitting in the dressing room, and a couple of empathetic dancers came up to me and asked if everything was okay when they didn’t have to. And this was a high hustle, competitive type of club where dancers compete selling four-figure VIP sales.
As long as you mind your business and focus on yourself, there most likely won’t be an issue. Things can get catty when money isn’t flowing in a club, so when that happens either travel or focus on something else in the meantime and wait for it to pass.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
While I've definitely met some "ladies" that I wish I hadn't, most are pretty nice.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Just ignore them, and stay cordial. You're at the club for your money first and foremost, not to impress anyone.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
neverendingkneebruises
Just ignore them, and stay cordial. You're at the club for your money first and foremost, not to impress anyone.
Exactly. It is a good rule of thumb to stay out of the dressing room. Don't go back there unless you have to. That will also help your money because you can't make money in the dressing room lol
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
When I first started I was punked & picked on, hated on alot. It made me tough bc I dealt with it & was blessed with a smart mouth & showed them that I wouldn't be pushed around. I started staying out of the dressing room & doing my own thing. I was hated on bc I was there to work & actually made decent money, while most other gals there sat in the dr complaining or acting like high school bullies in the corner.
Hahaha I remember this pne spot I worked at, I didn't talk or look at anyone really except the customers and one of the girls there said to me in a bitchy tone" wow, you don;t like people do you?" My reply was a very stern "Nope" as I walked out of the dressign room LOL
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
With any luck, the most mainstream gorgeous dancers will be so busy with private dances that they won't even be on the floor hustling! They won't be available, and they may not even have time to go in stage. So no comparison necessary. Or they'll go on stage and then immediately become unavailable once one dude takes her in for a private dance.
That aside, truly, guys like all types. Some guys specifically won't go for the superbabes because they're intimidated by them, afraid they have bad attitudes, prefer a more regular level of beauty, or actually have different tastes. And i can't emphasize enough how much of a difference it makes to have personality, a smile, and conversational skills. I ran circles around superbabes as a normal girl with normal-level beauty who smiled a lot, projected personality, had sales skills, etc. And the girls were always nice to me when i was new in a club, because i didn't look like a VS model. You can fly under the radar. Lots of guys also like feeling like they've 'discovered' you, whereas the super super hot dancers have clearly already been 'discovered' if that makes any sense.
I am 100% not trying to knock down superbabes. They can run circles around me when they have bomb personalities, etc. Just saying that there is definitely room for regular beauty in sex work.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
StellaRose
I’ve never dealt with anything where anything would come down to violence.
If I’m going to be honest with myself, I could’ve avoided it. I really didn’t want to, though. I was raised in a community which stressed nonresistance. So, we’d constantly get badgered and bullied by the ‘English’ kids, and me especially because of my height, and we’d just be expected to turn the other cheek. It wasn’t “our way” to fight back. But, after having been a combat firing a machine to try killing someone who was trying to kill me, plus my involvement with the crust punk, hardcore punk, grindcore, and death metal scenes, I was discovering a side of me which was highly aggressive and volatile. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was a powder keg with an extremely short fuse, and she was the one who lit it.
I don’t regret retaliating after she slapped me, but I do regret that I went overboard with it in hindsight. Really, the first time I punched her was enough to take her out of the fight, but somewhere along the way I decided it wouldn’t be enough to not make an example of her. Word about these things travels, too. My first night at the second club I worked at (and I guess I still do? I’ve been in twice since the pandemic), a couple of the girls were real jittery around me. One bumped into me accidentally, and she jumped back against the wall, and went into this really profuse apology. Then she asked me several times if we were “good”, and I was racking my brain trying to figure out why, because I hardly look imposing. I finally asked her why she kept asking me that… turned out, she knew the dancer I fought, heard about what happened to her, and realized it was me who had done it when I told another dancer the club I’d worked at previously.
I’m glad you made that post. Looking back at my own post, I think maybe I got a little hopped up reflecting on that night, and may have come across like I was encouraging that sort of thing. I wasn’t intending to.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
I think i may have misinterpreted the OP, haha. I thought she meant intimidated by their beauty / sales acumen.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
OP, bitches are going to try you, that's just the culture plus competition. Like som of the others have stated, remember you are there to make your $$$, what they think of you is irrelevant. Once you put together a solid one-work routine (certain songs, mirror affirmations, whatever makes you feel like a 10) you'll be solid.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
It’s a similar phenomenon like on “The Bachelor”-take a whole much of women who have always been told that they are “the prettiest girl in the room”, and then put them together in the same room....suddenly women who have never had to “compete” with other women, now have 10-20+ around who look just as good as they do.
Just keep your head high and on the prize.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Also, say as little as possible. Don’t volunteer information about your personal business. You are there to make money, not friends.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
moneybags
Also, say as little as possible. Don’t volunteer information about your personal business. You are there to make money, not friends.
This is pure gold right here :) I wish 18 yr old me would've followed this when I first started out. The more elusive & mysterious you are the more $ you make :) I found this tried & true once I started doing this at the clubs.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
If the other girls are talking shit about you, you must be doing something right. Moneymakers and hustlers don't have time to gossip and talk shit about other dancers.
Re: Intimidated by other dancers.
You're not the only one who's felt this way. But the ones that don't overcome it don't last long.