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What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
I have this customer who isn’t what I’d call a “regular” but he’s come in three weeks in a row and last time he got 5 dances with me .. I’ve only been dancing for 4 months and when I started I told myself I wouldn’t date customers but some of girls at my club have dated customers.. First time he got a dance from me I thought he was going to be really grabby but he was actually really respectful and he’s cute too. When would it be okay to go out with a customer or is it never a good idea?
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
I think you probably have a good idea of the potential upsides and downsides here.
My concise advice is that if you think he's hookup material, it isn't worth it. You'll lose your regular, potentially have to change clubs, and you can find cute nice guys to hook up with outside of the club. If you think he could be soulmate or husband material, then hey, it's not unheard of to start a relationship that way (i think most of us have probably dated a customer or two), but be aware that it's kind of an icky start for a serious relationship (like, think about what you'll tell your mom, about how you two met). It's hard to start a serious relationship with someone who was initially paying you to take off your clothes, you know? It can be done, it's just a very rare thing for that to actually turn into a real connection. I'd say the odds are against you.
Whatever you do, just make sure you think about it objectively first, make a pros/cons list in the cold light of day. Don't make an in-the-moment decision in the club after a drink or two, with all of the sexy lights and money swirling around.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
They were customers so they know what goes on in the club VERY CLEARLY and IME they usually end up demanding the girl quit.
3 weeks in a row & 5 dances is really not a lot, btw. Also, ye olde "if the other girls jumped off a bridge would you do it too?" applies here.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
I'd leave him alone just for having a low spending range when he comes in hahahaha.
I mean take his dance money but he doesn't seem to have the budget to date for real.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
I dated somebody I met in a club for a couple years. He’s a good person but it didn’t work out. And agree with the above, if you date someone from the club, the pressure to quit (most likely) will be a lot. It will be a headache to deal with.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Cute, handsome, good-looking, etc... And been seeing you 3 weeks? The most he spent is 5 dances? And already ask you out? He's going to move on once he realize it's a waste of time and money when he finds other women willingly to date him on a budget.
The problem with customers, or men in this case, many are not comfortable with their girlfriends being strippers. Even the ones who ignores, looks away, and holds up their opinion and sentiments for the longest. Because, eventually, the "quit stripping" discussion will come up down the road.
In my opinion, start dating serious after you officially retired from stripping. Because it's 2020-21, and most people can tell a woman is a stripper. So hiding the fact from your boyfriend while stripping in today's world is near impossible.
Also, once leaving the industry for good, never tell your future boyfriend/husband you were a dancer. Their opinion and feelings towards you will drastically change for the worse. Happened to many girls I know.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Well, my own perspective is that I’ve never felt the least bit enticed by a custy, but that doesn’t seem to apply here. There’s a few perspectives I have which might, though.
I don’t know how you go about it, but I keep stripper life and the rest of my life compartmentalized and separate from each other. To date a customer would break that barrier. Me, I’m not willing to do that.
The other thing is the mentality guys get about spending money. He’s already spent money on you, and that’ll be more likely to make him feel like you’re beholden to him, that you owe him once the relationship transitions from being strictly professional to something more personal.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
If it doesn’t makes dollars.... it doesn’t make sense
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Can never trust that he won't be after something else. He came to the club for a reason, what that reason was will never be clear.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
All these ladies have legit advice. I'll admit that i dated a few when i was a newbie, and i honestly don't have any regrets. I used great judgment, and actually ended up in an 11-year relationship with someone i met in the club. I could defend or explain the legitimacy of that decision here and write a book, but i won't. I'll just confess it. I think that's a pretty rare occurrence, so I'd listen far more closely to the words of hesitation in this thread.
My second long stint dancing, my boundaries were much clearer, and i was 100% there to work. Blinders on. Once you've seen and heard it all, really nothing gets through that wall.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Time will tell if he is really into you or looking for a fling. You have to decide about what you want also. Do you want a long term relationship or is this just for fun? Keep in mind just because he had good manners in the club, outside of it he can change & become dangerous. It's not like you are losing a high paying regular.
You need to ask and be sure of his intentions, will you meet his friends, family & such within a normal range of time? or are you a side piece?
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
One of my good friends met her bf in the club, maybe 5 years ago now? He came in with a bunch of coworkers and they all spent mad bread in the back rooms. Another friend of mine had what you could call a fling I suppose with a high spending regular. I considered dating a certain high spending customer as well but decided against it for practical reasons. (He was a smoker and also from a different class/I got twisted up thinking his family wouldn’t accept a commoner with no career ambitions)
I have to agree with the general consensus that you should only consider dating a customer if they spend a lot consistently over a period of time. It might sound cold to you as baby stripper but you’ll come to understand in time. The rules are different in the strip club world and dating someone who spends $100 from time to time is devaluing yourself.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Date a customer, lose a customer. That simple, he will never buy a dance again, from you. Unless the plan is for OTC for $. Then, by all means.
Z
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
I personally only saw customers OTC for $$$, and that's only if he's spending big bucks or if I saw him as sugar daddy material. I never cared about whether or not he was cute, I liked him, etc. Always protect yourself and put your money first because if you make a guy feel like he's a prize, he's not going to work as hard for it. You're going to get hurt AND lose out on money! I also don't recommend dating strip club clients because most of them go to strip clubs in the first place because they have issues with women; they tend not to make the best or most loyal boyfriends.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
This is what I ended up doing after having ( not exaggerating ) basically nonstop problems with everyone while trying out some sex work honesty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
305gurl
Also, once leaving the industry for good, never tell your future boyfriend/husband you were a dancer. Their opinion and feelings towards you will drastically change for the worse. Happened to many girls I know.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Yeah the odds of catching the " normal guy " who pops in just here and there are low . You will most *often* meet the ones who are in the club .... well ....often. So you need to ask yourself why !
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EastCoastDancer01
I also don't recommend dating strip club clients because most of them go to strip clubs in the first place because they have issues with women; they tend not to make the best or most loyal boyfriends.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Also .... really .... it depends on his actual actions. Like offering you a formal dinner and date plan is a great start.
Asking you for " coffee " or another cheap date might be a bad idea.
I dated one of my club customers in 2010. I didn't talk about too much on here ( judgements hahaha ). He was *decent* to me but it fizzled due to a disorganized child care schedule with his ex ( or at least that is what he would claim when his schedule but got messed up ) as well as the fact that the town I liked to be in was 3 hours from his ! I only went to his town to strip, collect, and leave ! He would even try to bridge the gap and come to my town often but " meh ".
My boundaries are a little different now . If I didn't have a partner and monogamy going on I would probably be up for identifying and dating ( with all dating perks ) a bigger spender. :)
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Seriously, dating a customer typically doesn't work out. Aside from no longer being able to make money from him, while he thought it was cool at the beginning to date a dancer, he has a high chance of getting jealous and demanding that you quit dancing. He could become super jealous and controlling. If dancing is how you pay your bills and rent, it's better to just keep customers as customers, imo.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Lol. This is totally a question I would have asked as a dancer four months in. Short answer no, long answer no. He’s a waste of time and drama. Focus on getting the most money out of these men. Only professionals can take it out the club and that is for a HIGH dollar amount. Of all the men I took out of the club when I was a baby dancer, only one spent significant enough money (100k+) to make it worth it and he ended up being so crazy that it wasn’t even worth it. So NO!
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
305gurl
Also, once leaving the industry for good, never tell your future boyfriend/husband you were a dancer. Their opinion and feelings towards you will drastically change for the worse. Happened to many girls I know.
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If a man doesn't respect sex workers, he doesn't generally respect women in general. I'm not saying a man has to be okay with dating sex workers, (boundaries are fine) but if one is consuming porn/strip clubs/other content made by sex workers almost every day (as most adults in this day & age do), & doesn't see the people providing the demand as humans that deserve basic empathy & respect, that tells me his respect for women goes on a sliding scale, & i'm not personally interested in being with anyone with a mindset like that.
To answer OP's question: nooo. I wish dancers as a whole would stop dating/befriending/hooking up with customers outside the club imo, (unless $$$$ is involved). I think so many customers treat the club as a girlfriend store & expect extra attention for less $$$$ because of this. Keep things a fantasy. There's plenty of cute men outside of the club to take you on dates.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Generally, men don't want their women to be associated with the sex work industry frontlines. This is true once men gets older and starts to know the good and bad of the dating game after years of ignoring advices and warnings. Remember, strippers have stereotypes and their stereotypes for a reason.
When men are in their 20's, and/or don't have the financial means, they usually don't mind dating strippers as they see it "cool" of just dating one. Reason why you see most of strippers' boyfriends are working low-paying jobs or being plain "losers." But as they get into 30's, they change their view on women; her background, any mental health problems, number of boyfriends, debt history, etc.
Sure they don't mind hangin'-n-bangin' a stripper but they wouldn't get in a relationship with one as all of them view fucking a stripper, as a "badge of honor."
I'm just repeating what my brothers, their friends and my male friends said to me over the recent years, as we're getting older, about dating a stripper or sex worker. They all said the same thing; daddy issues, debt-ridden, manipulative, and all the other stripper stereotypes. Sounds harsh but that's how the common male mindset think as well, I, myself read the comments from MGTOW YouTube and Reddit.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
305gurl
Generally, men don't want their women to be associated with the sex work industry frontlines. This is true once men gets older and starts to know the good and bad of the dating game after years of ignoring advices and warnings. Remember, strippers have stereotypes and their stereotypes for a reason.
When men are in their 20's, and/or don't have the financial means, they usually don't mind dating strippers as they see it "cool" of just dating one. Reason why you see most of strippers' boyfriends are working low-paying jobs or being plain "losers." But as they get into 30's, they change their view on women; her background, any mental health problems, number of boyfriends, debt history, etc.
Sure they don't mind hangin'-n-bangin' a stripper but they wouldn't get in a relationship with one as all of them view fucking a stripper, as a "badge of honor."
I'm just repeating what my brothers, their friends and my male friends said to me over the recent years, as we're getting older, about dating a stripper or sex worker. They all said the same thing; daddy issues, debt-ridden, manipulative, and all the other stripper stereotypes. Sounds harsh but that's how the common male mindset think as well, I, myself read the comments from MGTOW YouTube and Reddit.
Oh don't get me wrong I 100% believe that most men think that way. My opinion of them as a whole in general is very low lol.
That's why I said most are not like mine and I lucked out. I guess it depends on the individual. I would rather die alone & reproduce through my own means (adoption, sperm donor etc) than be with a partner who I felt like I couldn't be 100% myself with. I love stripping and wouldn't want to hide such a big part of my life. But I totally get what you're saying and why I preach that women should be 100% hypergamous and self serving because that's how men view us.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
^ When you retire keep your damn mouth shut and eliminate problems. :)
I just speak for myself though as I was always closeted anyway.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
I can't judge. My last two relationships were with customers younger than me. I almost married one, currently dating another one. Just be careful is my advice.
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Re: What are reasons to not date a customer even if he’s cute and you like him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
I can't judge. My last two relationships were with customers younger than me. I almost married one, currently dating another one. Just be careful is my advice.
I appreciate you being open about that! It's such a taboo topic... we like to pretend it never happens. But lots of people meet their significant others at work in other industries; it's just the nature of our work that warrants a lot of caution. And the issues you'll encounter when dating a customer are generally the same that you'd run into with dating customers in vanilla work. Dancers meet SO many different kinds of people in the club over the course of years of work that it's inevitable we'll meet the occasional customer who sticks out (chemistry, attractiveness, whatever).
Just be safe and go in with your eyes open.