-
Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
The title is basically it. I’ve never considered myself a sex worker, because I don’t offer any type of sexual act for sale, and I don’t even simulate sexual acts on stage. Even giving lap dances, I’m not pretending to be having sex. Yet I see all these non strippers referring to strippers as sex workers. And no, I do not feel that I’m a sex worker.
Does anyone else feel this way?
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I personally consider myself a sex worker.
My reasoning: If I worked at Hooters and my dad or my brother walked in and sat down at a table somewhere, fine by me. If I was working in a club and my dad or my brother walked in and sat down, I’d consider that horrible.
Also my reasoning: I’ve never personally been able to get a gay guy get a dance. At least not for himself, some buy dances for their friends.
That perspective is mine to have. I don’t consider yours “wrong” in any way.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I see this get debated sometimes here and elsewhere on social media. One point I think is salient is that strippers are seen as an underclass in the same way as escorts and etc. Cops are less likely to investigate if someone assaults a stripper on her way home from work vs a civilian bartender.
On the other hand stripping is fully legal and many other forms of adult work aren’t, or are a gray area.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Yeah we definitely have different perspectives. I don’t base my classification of what I do at my job on Hooters, my dad, brother, or gay men.
I know what I do at my job and it’s not acts of sex.
I mean, I wouldn’t want my dad or brother walking in on me in the shower and I don’t think a gay man would seek me out in a shower, but I don’t consider me being naked while showering a sex act any more than I’d consider me dancing in the rain naked, or streaking through a football field naked, or dancing on a stage naked, acts of sex. I can clearly separate nudity and sex. To me, they aren’t one in the same.
Incidentally, I’ve had a family member bring my pasties to work and told them they could come in, and I’ve given gay men lap dances, so I’m probably very defined in my ideas of what are and are not sex.
Is stripping sexual? Sure in most cases there is a feigned sexual overtone, but it’s not sex. Therefore, I do not consider myself a sex worker.
Calling what I do “sex work” is about the same as me carrying around a box of bandaids and telling people they’re sick and then calling myself a doctor. Two different things.
And I PARTICULARLY don’t care for non-strippers telling me what I do is sex work.
But I respect other people’s right to consider themselves sex workers. I’m just wondering if anyone else who’s a stripper does not.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I felt this way until I realized it’s harmful and elitist. Stripping is sex work. Lap dances are sexual. If there were no sexual undertones, we wouldn’t have a job. Our job is to provide a sexual fantasy and great entertainment.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
It’s not elitist or harmful for me to say I offer no sex of any kind for sale. It’s factual. Clarifying what I do and do not do, does not harm any person.
I dance. I don’t offer sex. Sex and dancing naked are not one in the same.
There are sexual undertones in commercials. That does not make the actors sex workers.
If you consider yourself a sex worker, your prerogative. I do not, and my affirming that I am not a sex worker does not harm anyone, and it’s not elitist. It’s making a clarification about what I do and do not do, and that doesn’t imply that I feel above anyone else who may offer sex for sale.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
You have the right to define your own identity.
I do identify as a sex worker. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what distinguishes sex work from sexually charged entertainment (as you mention, the sexual undertones in commercials).
For me, it is the presence of a boner and monetary exchange. A named boner, meaning it belongs to someone (can also be a lady boner) that the entertainment is specifically meant to encourage it in. As a stripper, I engage physically and socially with the named boner of my customer (I grind and do things that otherwise provoke a boner).
By this definition, a burlesque dancer isn't a sex worker, IMO, because there is no Named Boner. Which isn't to say the audience doesn't get aroused, but she doesn't engage with their boners. She offers a sexually titillating performance, but not sex work. If she sells lap dances or otherwise engages with a boner, it's sex work. A performer at a peep show is doing sex work because there's a guy with a boner watching her. A porn performer is, though, via her scene partner's Named Boner, even though she may or may not interact with the boners of her fan base.
I don't know if this makes sense to anyone but me.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
You can define yourself however you want but you come off as an elitist. Like it or not society puts us all in the same category, they have other worse terms for it though.
More importantly it is about solidarity across all parts of this industry. It is about banding together to fight censorship & keep our jobs legal, to keep from not losing our bank accounts, about have Equal Protection & Rights. It is about fighting discrimination in housing, banking and such.
Seems like you want the financial benefits of sex work without the stigma that comes with it. We can not fight the stigma if some think they are so much better than the rest of us. And I would be careful about that kind of attitude around the other strippers cause you might make enemies fast.
Your customers are coming in there for a sexual nature atmosphere. There will be customers trying to get sex, you can turn them down.. you can tell them over & over again that you are not a sex worker as if that will stop them from asking.
There are very real consequences that happen for all of us for choosing this as a way to make money. You can choose not to stand in solidarity to fight for our right to make money, be able to rent an apartment, keep custody of children. And for ending the criminalization of prostitution so that we are not targets for predators that easily get away with beating, raping & killing so many of us.
You can be apart of the misogyny & discrimination the rest of us are fighting against.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dance
It’s not elitist or harmful for me to say I offer no sex of any kind for sale. It’s factual. Clarifying what I do and do not do, does not harm any person.
You don’t have to sell literal sex to be a sex worker. It’s an umbrella term, not your job title. It is elitist because *you* think you’re different from other strippers, but society does not. There is still a stigma around stripping. What you personally identify as won’t make people judge you less, or any other dancer. It just feels weird to me. You dance on stage with your tits out, give sensual lap dances, flirt and sell a fantasy for money, but you say that’s not selling sex?
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
You can identify however you want, but I’m also allowed to identify as a sex worker. I don’t ever judge, shame, or ridicule sex workers. I never think I’m better than a porn star or full service sex worker just because “I just dance” . I do think stripping and full service sex work work are categorically different in terms of emotional and physical labor, but how society see us is not different.
Newer girls tend to think this, but when your have more time in the industry you will realize that you friends, family, land lord, bank, police, and future vanilla boss, and local politicians don’t care if you “JUST” dance. To them we’re all whores.
So I embrace my inner whore and am an ally to anyone in the adult industry.
I think we all need to challenge are inner whoreaphobia and dismantle the whorearchy.
I definitely think it’s okay to identify however you want. I don’t call other strippers or cam models sex workers as I know it’s triggering.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
If you don't consider yourself a sex worker then what do YOU consider yourself? Are you offended if people don't refer to you as a sex worker but they're saying you're selling tits and ass?!
Whether you're a stripper, camgirl or escort you're definitely not selling life insurance, LOL.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I think there is an adjustment period for everyone once you get into this biz. And she has lots of hard lessons to learn, it is how we all learn. My bills being paid is just more important to me than what society thinks.
I believe with my whole heart that once all sex work is decriminalized & we are a protected class so we can't be discriminated against by any & all institutions. This is all women & non-binary people might start getting Equal Pay, Equal Protection under the Law and such. It falls upon us in this fight to end this dangerous stigma & misogyny.
You are all my sisters.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I never did cause men are basic af and SEXwork makes them think you having sex with them.
Cool if your job entails having sex with them.
I see stripping as selling the idea of sex and selling sexuality. Especially at strip clubs where you can’t even get naked or have lap dances.
I prefer the term adult work. All of it is adult industry but varying degrees of sexuality/sexual activity.
But really when it comes down to it I’m more concerned with my money being right than I am
with any labels
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
And who exactly is society anyway? Society/people's opinion will never cut us a check.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
I think there is an adjustment period for everyone once you get into this biz. And she has lots of hard lessons to learn, it is how we all learn. My bills being paid is just more important to me than what society thinks.
I believe with my whole heart that once all sex work is decriminalized & we are a protected class so we can't be discriminated against by any & all institutions. This is all women & non-binary people might start getting Equal Pay, Equal Protection under the Law and such. It falls upon us in this fight to end this dangerous stigma & misogyny.
You are all my sisters.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Do I call myself a sex worker no. But I don't care what other people see me as that's their business.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Miley cryrus
You don’t have to sell literal sex to be a sex worker. It’s an umbrella term, not your job title. It is elitist because *you* think you’re different from other strippers, but society does not. There is still a stigma around stripping. What you personally identify as won’t make people judge you less, or any other dancer. It just feels weird to me. You dance on stage with your tits out, give sensual lap dances, flirt and sell a fantasy for money, but you say that’s not selling sex?
Not all clubs allow tits n pussy out nor do all clubs allow lap dances.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
I never did cause men are basic af and SEXwork makes them think you having sex with them.
That's my concern as well. I don't want to confuse these men. If I had to use an "umbrella term", I say adult entertainment. At the same time, in the eyes of everyone else...we're all whores. Lol. They can call me whatever they want, honestly. Idgaf. But won't use the term to describe myself to avoid confusion on what's for sale.
I know some strippers that don't even like being called strippers. They prefer "entertainer". That I don't get, but whatever.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Actually I’ve been stripping since 2008. I’ve never considered myself a sex worker. And if I come across as elitist for wanting to clarify that no, I do not sell sex, then I guess everyone is entitled to think that way. But no, I don’t think I’m above anyone. I just don’t want family, friends, business associates in non-stripping professions, to think that I sell sex, because that’s not what I do. What anyone else does is their business, and I’m not a part of that. Never have been. Never will. Just not what I do.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Marina Starr
If you don't consider yourself a sex worker then what do YOU consider yourself? Are you offended if people don't refer to you as a sex worker but they're saying you're selling tits and ass?!
Whether you're a stripper, camgirl or escort you're definitely not selling life insurance, LOL.
Stripper, adult entertainer.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Miley cryrus
You don’t have to sell literal sex to be a sex worker. It’s an umbrella term, not your job title. It is elitist because *you* think you’re different from other strippers, but society does not. There is still a stigma around stripping. What you personally identify as won’t make people judge you less, or any other dancer. It just feels weird to me. You dance on stage with your tits out, give sensual lap dances, flirt and sell a fantasy for money, but you say that’s not selling sex?
Yes, I precisely say that’s not selling the act of sex. It’s a fantasy, entertainment, not sexual intercourse.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Vyanka
That's my concern as well. I don't want to confuse these men. If I had to use an "umbrella term", I say adult entertainment. At the same time, in the eyes of everyone else...we're all whores. Lol. They can call me whatever they want, honestly. Idgaf. But won't use the term to describe myself to avoid confusion on what's for sale.
I know some strippers that don't even like being called strippers. They prefer "entertainer". That I don't get, but whatever.
That’s a great point; the further encouraging of these guys expecting “extras” in the private rooms because now strippers are suddenly all “sex workers”. Isn’t that what strippers have been complaining about forever? Extras girls in the clubs making it harder to sell genuine entertainment and being expected to give extras in the private rooms? But now we’re all of the sudden all sex workers? Kind of contradictory.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Don’t get me wrong though, over the years I’ve had fair number of close stripper friends who have mentioned sometimes doing extras in private rooms, and I didn’t judge them or become any less friends with them. Some of them I still talk to you this very day. Did I like that they were doing those things in the club? No. But like I said, no judgment. I just don’t do that and I don’t want to be Lumped into the same category, because like it or not, there is a clear and defined difference between touching penis and not touching penis.
If that sounds elitist, OK, I can’t stop anyone from having that impression. But if I can speak up and say that no just because I’m a stripper does not mean that I am a sex worker, because I do not offer any type of sexual intercourse via vag, oral, anal, or manual… I’m going to make that distinction.
Other people may not make that distinction especially when strippers themselves are not making a distinction between it, which makes it harder for me when my family or business associates think that what I do is prostitution, but I’m always going to speak up and say that no, that’s not what I do.
So anyway, my reason for asking this question and making us post to begin with was to find out how prevalent outside of my own club it is for strippers to consider themselves sex workers, or not. Judging by the responses, I can see that there are some who doing some who don’t. What I did not expect, was to have to defend my personal stance that I’m not a sex worker. Interesting.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
I think there is an adjustment period for everyone once you get into this biz. And she has lots of hard lessons to learn, it is how we all learn. My bills being paid is just more important to me than what society thinks.
I believe with my whole heart that once all sex work is decriminalized & we are a protected class so we can't be discriminated against by any & all institutions. This is all women & non-binary people might start getting Equal Pay, Equal Protection under the Law and such. It falls upon us in this fight to end this dangerous stigma & misogyny.
You are all my sisters.
You’re making assumptions first about how long I’ve been in this business (2008 ) and second on how I should ultimately think. I don’t need to arrive at the same conclusion as you about sex work. Please don’t speak down to me, or actually about me. As much as you seem to want respect for sex workers (which I never disrespect), please respect other people’s rights to classify themselves as non sex workers.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I’m a sex worker.
I dance with my tits in faces lol.
In states where it’s legal to show Pussy I do. Ha.
That definitely is Sex Work ( to me ).
Obviously I don’t mind the term.
It’s just one of ( many ) hats I wear honestly.
-
Re: Anyone else annoyed by being referred to as a sex worker?
I think it’s totally fine though if YOU prefer “ dancer “ or “ entertainer “ as the term.