That said I’m closeted anyway so my business isn’t really discussed.
I highly prefer it that way.
Printable View
That said I’m closeted anyway so my business isn’t really discussed.
I highly prefer it that way.
very excited to read this thread when i get home after dinner but no, it does not bother me to be called that and i personally think that any job involving giving men boners for money is sex work. i also think that if it makes someone feel ashamed or mad to be called that, they probably don't respect FSSW or other types, and look down on it and want to feel like they are "better than that", which is kinda lame to me.
EDIT: I would like to add, just as a fact, that the kindest sex workers i've known have had no problem with the term, and the bad seeds have found it offensive and left the industry with shame and wanted to deny they ever did it. just saying.
Sex worker is a term now used academically and legally. I can think of many cases where that would relate to your rights and your circumstances due to your job as a stripper.
Once decrim is the norm, it will be a lot easier to separate the types. Until then it really seem trivial to want to separate by language…when we really relate to each other…idk seems less then productive. But you decide what you call yourself first and foremost.
^ Yes if you choose to be "out" there are people who will not offer you opportunities in the vanilla world.
I’d recommend trying to go back into the closet as much as possible !
I have friends I nearly lost until I “ retired “ 6 years ago.
I just don’t mention I’m back at it here and there.
It’s no ones business anyway.
The details of all your income streams are only your business.
I AGREE WITH THIS SO MUCH AHH THANK YOU.
like, if you are an "influencer" and guys happen to be jerking off to your bikini beach pics, that isn't sex work. but if you make an only fans to post nudes or NSFW videos, that is sex work, because you are INTENTIONALLY profiting off horny men, with the intention to arouse them. and stripping is done with the intention to arouse horny men and get money from them. that is what sex work means to me...
Read this thread and I am intrigued. I admittedly have always cringed at being called a sex worker but never really gave it critical thought. I appreciate everyone who contributed with the astute points made.
I only used the term for escorts/prostitutes, though. Porn Actresses, Cam Models, OnlyFans Creators, strippers, etc, nah. I never considered I was implicitly participating in a "whorearchy"... sp? And I definitely want to avoid that.
The "named boner" was a good post,too.
I will examine my biases but I will say that "sex worker" just doesn't seem right. It really does imply that strippers provide something other than entertainment. For me personally, I tend to steer clear of the sleaze and go for more tease in my stripping work, too. I just envision people thinking I'm a sex worker at the club and I'm just in there grinding on dicks into oblivion...or more than that, too.
sex work
n.
The performance of sex acts for hire; prostitution.
n.
Any job in which sex or eroticism is involved, especially prostitution or pornography.
So acting is sex work.
Bartending is sex work.
Cheerleading is sex work.
Drag performring is sex work.
Or are they? Certainly these are a few jobs where tips, sales, contracts are driven by eroticism. How tangential are we going to get in order to bring more people under the umbrella term of sex work? Is being literal, being 'elitist?' Is elitism not the lifeblood of the upsell, and even the lifeblood of this stratified nation? Is the club a safe space for women doing illegal sex acts? Or is it a performance space for dancers?
I identify as a sex worker for so many reasons. It's a huge solidarity thing for me. If i identify as a "dancer," then I'm denying the reality of what I've done. I do think that this gets into issues of classism, elitism, and denial, but I'm not here to pass judgment.
Honestly, i love that I'm educated, well-spoken, and successful, and people have to endure the discomfort of realizing that I've been a sex worker. It's powerful to use the term to induce cognitive dissonance in others when they have to resolve that someone like me has chosen to do that job. It also helps reduce the stigma around that kind of work.
And at the end of the day, i just refuse to abandon my sex-worker sisters by pretending that i "just danced," like men paid hundreds of dollars an hour to watch me do fully-clothed pirouettes from across the room. Get real. People need to realize that sex workers are everywhere.
I don't like to refer to stripping as sex work, but I prefer the term "stripper" rather than "dancer".
I don't like to refer to stripping as sex work because there are a lot of itc/otc hookers in the clubs these days. I refuse to be lumped in with them. At the same time calling this shit "dancing" is a fucking joke too.
I would put camming in the category of sex work though yes.
That being said, I rarely work the clubs lately as things are so fucked up if you dont wanna be a hooker or at least straight up molested. Just not worth it anymore really.
Ya u can be the low mileage unicorn etc which I've done but it is just way too exhausting imo. I'm over stripping though.
I know most dancers are out there engaged in a range of activities... everything from grinding dick to tits in face, simulating sex, two-way heavy contact, going down on other dancers on stage, etc. I dunno, y'all...i think lines are blurry if you're just dancing on stage, no-contact private dances... but that's not common these days. Even the tamest strip clubs aren't pg-13.
To me, sex work is an umbrella term in the same way that "the medical field" is an umbrella term that encompasses everyone from doctors to surgeons to medical assistants to medical administrative workers. Sex work encompasses everyone from strippers to escorts to cam girls and more. There's a huge difference between surgeons and medical assistants, and there's a huge difference between escorts and strippers, but that doesn't mean they don't share the field of work.
We're turning people on for money. The entire goal is to be a sexual fantasy for people who are paying us to be sexual. Clear as day to me, but that's just my opinion.
We're in the sex industry. And even if we don't consider ourselves sex workers plenty of people degrade us.
I'm just wondering why ppl don't use the old "adult entertainment" title anymore? I don't remember stripping being referred to it as SW. It was always adult entertainment. Imagine the club DJ calling us sex workers on the mic instead of entertainers, or any club staff for that matter. Not gonna lie, that would annoy me bc that would engrave it into men's mind that we will provide more. I wouldn't be down with that, making my job more difficult than what it is.
Like I said before, idc what strangers wanna call me but I can never call myself that in a vip room while guarding my crotch to some of these customers who think we're all ok with genital contact. Not every customer goes for my crotch but once in a while you have that asshole who will surprise you, trying to put his hand where it don't belong.
^Valid perspective / concern. I think that gets into issues of misogyny... i don't think that women identifying as sex workers should affect how we're treated. Some men may pretend that they don't understand consent and don't understand the differences between escorts and dancers, but the real issue isn't confusion, it's misogyny and entitlement.
I do think that men who fondle breasts in clubs where that's allowed, and enjoy dances where dancers are grinding dick, are deluding themselves by thinking they aren't paying for a sex worker's time and attention. Just because everything isn't on the menu for that particular sex worker doesn't mean she's just "entertaining" these men. I think "adult entertainment" is a euphemism for what we're doing.
And obviously, clubs are not a place where we're trying to engage in discussions around identity politics, necessarily. In the club, I'd never tell a guy "I'm a sex worker!" because that isn't the fantasy, and you're right that that could be misinterpreted by an ignorant customer who doesn't understand what that means to me. Similarly, wait staff at a restaurant don't introduce themselves like, "hi there, I'll be your food-service industry worker this evening!" But in my personal life, I'll still identify as someone who worked in the sex industry and was a sex worker.
I identify as a sex worker for all the reasons others have said in this thread. I also don't feel the need to pass off what I'm doing as art or whatever. I show my gorgeous body & tits & get paid. -shrug- I actually refuse to identify as simply a dancer. I'm not a damn ballerina ::)
Also interesting to see in this thread the same things I have seen in other types of adult work I do- many sugar babies say the same things some people in this thread are saying. "I'm in a mutually beneficial relationship, I'm NOT a sex worker!! Unlike strippers!" And then strippers go, "well I'm NOT a sex worker, I perform sensual dancing, at least I don't post my nudes all over the internet like Onlyfans/cam girls!" Then the cam girls will go, "well at least I'm not allowing men to look at/touch me in person, only over the internet, unlike those gross strippers." Then the strippers will go, "well I work in a topless club, at least I don't show my pussy like other strippers, that's disgusting" Then nude strippers go, "at least I'm not actually selling sex like escorts!!" Then escorts come back with - "well I don't just sell sex, I charge for my time, and I also charge a high price unlike those disgusting STD ridden street walkers" ..... Do y'all get the point yet?
Instead of pointing fingers at each other for doing less or more than our adult industry counterparts I think we benefit from solidarity. I mean, call yourself whatever you want, but society sees us all as one and the same regardless. :P
The reality is, it doesn't matter what you identity as and what you do or don't do, we'll all abominations and are going to hell according to vanilla people. Whether you dance, strip, escort or prostitute, we'll all the same to them. We're seen as bottom of the barrels, couldn't make it through college or were abused as a child so we have to resort to this line of work.
What you do or choose to call yourself, you don't need to justify it to anyone. When you feel good about what you do, you don't need other people validation nor approval.
If you have a problem with being called a sex worker, maybe it's because you internalized shame and afraid that being associated with sex work reflect badly on you. Shame makes you feel who you are and what you do is wrong.
Reminds me of when I was a baby stripper and a group of girls came in the club and I complimented one saying that she was pretty and could be a stripper too. Then when I turned around to go back to work she told her little group of friends what I said and laughed like she was at the fucking circus watching animals and I had no feelings. Now I'm just that cynical ho that puts on a show of positivity when I work.
Nope.
We all just sellin' different levels of access to pussy lol
Selling BENEFITS!
You provide an erotic service; ergo you are a sex worker. Cam girls and phone sex operators are also sex workers, and they have zero physical contact with their customers. It doesn't matter whether or not you personally like the term--all strippers are sex workers. What's the problem? Do you think there's something wrong with sex work? If so, you probably shouldn't be doing it.
No it doesn’t bother me much because it’s what I do.
Yep I hate the term “sex worker” because I was a virgin for a long time when I started stripping. How can I be a sex worker when I’ve never even had sex? It’s not even accurate because no sex even happens when you are dancing! So when I dance at the beach in a bikini that’s not sex work but if I’m in a club getting paid for it I’m a sex worker? I don’t do sex for work I just sell my time and conversation like a lot of people do in this life.
No, I am not annoyed by it. Sex work is an industry and I’m sure others have mentioned.. you don’t have to literally have sex for money to fit under this definition. I think it’s silly to think “oh well I don’t sleep with people for money so I’m not a sex worker!”... in reality, society cares very little. You will still be looked down upon whether you dance nude, webcam, do porn etc
This, exactly! 100%!
Eroticism is certainly implied in nude dancing, as well as mainstream (not porn) actors acting in a sex scene, haute couture models with sheer tops showing their full breasts, professional NFL cheerleaders with cleavage/ass cheeks out doing provocative dances, even bartenders in some vanilla clubs with their parts hanging out, etc…
Those people are not sex workers just because their work involves caring states of undress or provocative performance.
So just because I dance on a stage nude, does not make me a sex worker either. Even in lap dances we have to have on a full bikini and customers can not touch our breasts or ass. There are no sex acts involved.
Sex worker implies some type of sexual act is happening, and for the clubs in my area, there isn’t.
And I sure don’t want to be lumped into the group of people who ARE doing sex acts, not because I’m elitist, but because I am literally and factually not doing sex work. Being factual is not elitist.
So…
I’m not going to tell anyone else what to call themselves, but I AM asserting that I am NOT a sex worker.
I understand that many dancers and in many areas, the lines are blurred and there IS more going on than what I do, but just because other people are doing more does not mean I am.
I’m glad other people feel the same. And for those that don’t, you do you, but don’t claim I’m doing what you do.
Also to comment on a couple of people who have said they don’t consider stripping to be ‘dancing’, I would beg to differ. Stripping has a whole set of moves common to all the people who perform this genre of dance, whether it be on the pole, floorwork, chair dance/(lap dance). It’s even evolved as an art form in the non stripping community. There are videos teaching all of these dance moves, competitions… it was even performed as a dance style at the Super Bowl!
So yes I would argue that it IS a valid and recognized style of dance, as well as a form of art.
Not every stripper at the strip club is dancing it in an artistic way, or even actually dancing to the music (as opposed to just standing there twerking), but since it’s gone mainstream, it involves more than just strippers now, and very much is a style of dance and performance art. It’s not ballet, and it doesn’t pretend to be. It’s a whole genre of dance and performance art of it’s own.
On a side note, pole dancing has also gained ‘observer status’ as an officially recognized sport with the Global Association of International Sports Federations, as a necessary step towards making it to the Olympics.
And it’s not called ‘sex worker dance’ either.