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Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Long story short, I have a boyfriend who I met when corona pandemic started, I never told him that I was a stripper, and we live together now.
I got back into corporate life, have a nice 9-5 job now. The clubs are opening soon in Europe and my ex manager asked if I want to come back to work.
I am happy with my 9-5, but I also miss my dancer life (and the money ofc)...
So, I am thinking about dancing only Friday and/or Saturday. The problem is my boyfriend...
I don't know how to tell him. I am afraid that he will disapprove and leave me. Once I asked him for fun what would he do if he found out the girl he's dating is a stripper or hooker, and he said that is a big NO for him and that he would never date a girl like that. So I never told him I was a stripper.
What do you think, should I tell him and risk this relationship or forget about dancing and never tell him the truth? /:O
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Personally I would have left him when he said he would never date a girl like that because I am a girl like that, I will always be a girl like that even when I'm not in this industry, and I wouldn't want to share my life with someone who thinks that way. That's my personal preference.
However, if stripping isn't a career choice for you and you like your 9-5 job and you're happy with your bf it seems like a lot to give up to dance one night a week. There will always be other men. How important is this one to you? Only you can decide what your priority is. What's more important to you? This relationship or stripper life?
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
It depends on what you value and want more. So...you 'll have to ask yourself what's more appealing to you? Also, people can say anything when you ask them jokingly, but their opinions can be totally different when in real. In fact he already dates a dancer after all;) This is also the side of you he doesnt know and if you tell him, his vision of you will start to change and it can be challenging in relationship...I couldn't hide myself from someone I'd live with. But just think...would you ever consider dancing again if your ex manager didnot call you?
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Well he did say he wouldn't feel comfy with it so tread very lightly. :/
I got really lucky and started seeing someone at the start of the pandemic and told him about dancing ... oh ..... a cool 11 months or so after we met. I got really lucky because he is open minded. BUT ..... I barely work. We are talking like 3 nights a month in May - Aug. then in Sept. I didn't even dance so I'm not exactly " active " at it. I just pop in when I want a little extra $$.
I think your idea is good to stick to just one dancing night a week if you try to sell that idea to him. It doesn't interfere with your time in the evenings too much and wouldn't leave you exhausted for the regular gig either. A couple nights of dancing a month could give you some spending cash and really not interfere with " life " too much.
Good luck. I hope he changes his mind if you want to try to pop in here and there !
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
From what I've seen, having a boyfriend and a stripper life don't mix well. You won't keep it a secret for too long since you two live together. Most likely, won't last the first weekend and plus, nowadays, anyone can tell a stripper within 5 minutes of knowing a woman. It's not the 1990s.
Look, if you think your boyfriend is the superior priority over the stripper occupation, then proceed with your relationship with him. But if you think not, then talk about it with him. But mind you, he won't be thrill about it...
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
carmen_b
Good luck. I hope he changes his mind if you want to try to pop in here and there !
Gurl, it's a train wreck waiting to happen. If he compromises with the idea, it's going to eat him up inside - slowly, don't know, but surely, it's going to.
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
^ Yeah there is something to that.
I felt like it was causing non-stop problems ( disclosing stripping ) so when I was getting serious about finding a new companion I just didn't want to .
I looked at it like good PR ..... maybe something I wouldn't end up disclosing at all BUT ultimately I told my partner.
I just feel for you because I've BEEN there wondering to say something or not !
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
You have to do what’s best for you, and no one can tell you what that is. There’s no right or wrong choice. You really have to look inside to see what your soul wants. I would meditate and pray about it.
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
carmen_b
^ Yeah there is something to that.
I felt like it was causing non-stop problems ( disclosing stripping ) so when I was getting serious about finding a new companion I just didn't want to .
I looked at it like good PR ..... maybe something I wouldn't end up disclosing at all BUT ultimately I told my partner.
I just feel for you because I've BEEN there wondering to say something or not !
I saw relationships failed from my dancing colleagues after telling their boyfriend about their secret occupation. I always advice dancers to keep their dancing gig inside the club and secretive around friends, relatives and boyfriends. As well, not living together with their boyfriend until they're ready to put their relationship as a main priority over dancing because most men are not comfortable of knowing their woman is or was a stripper. The only ones that are okay of having a stripper girlfriend are usually the stereotypical "loser" boyfriends that dancers take care of. Usually, those guys have problems. Either be housing, bad credit, drugs, inconsistent job history, criminal record/activities, bad finance, transportation issue, womanizing...
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
I have one thing to say Dance, Dance, Dance!!!!
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LadyInWaiting
I have one thing to say Dance, Dance, Dance!!!!
Ever that read that book "Dance, Dance, Dance?"
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Unless your boyfriend is paying your bills, I suggest you do what makes you and your bank account happy. Boyfriends come and go, but money will always be there for you.
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Makes me wonder is this your way of passively/aggressively breaking up with him? Especially since you know he wouldn't date someone who is one.
Then are you ready to get a new place to live?
Will your corporate job understand, cause spurned ex's do everything to ruin a gal's life. So he will tell your boss or co-workers.
If the relationship is based up covid bonding & happened faster than you expected, is this your out? Do you see this relationship moving onto the next level like marriage & kids? And if you do have kids, he will use that information against you to get custody.
Plan your life out with a purpose & not just on a whim
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
can u lie? Like say your working at a shipping comany over night or that your in nursing and doiing an over night? LOL never tell him u ever were or are gonna be a stripper!
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
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Originally Posted by
ava$
can u lie? Like say your working at a shipping comany over night or that your in nursing and doiing an over night? LOL never tell him u ever were or are gonna be a stripper!
When you live with someone, or more, who doesn't know you are stripping, as well being your primary source of income, they will found out eventually. Especially if you leave clues around and no cover up, as in, only working on Friday and Saturday nights and somehow got money to buy luxury items, pay a car payment on a luxury-tier car and full coverage insurance, go-out-&-eat-at-restaurant, groceries, rent and other bills at the end of the month while getting your hair done and having a closet full of name-brand clothes and shoes. He, she or they will put the pieces together very quickly.
These days, with the current state of neoliberal economics, people can tell a woman is a stripper by living with one or knowing one for 5 minutes.
The only way to get away with it is by moonlighting as a stripper on weekend nights while working a part-time overnight job or have a full-time and a part-time and squeeze the stripping gig in between. But that seems a lot of work just to hide your secret gig.
Or just get a "loser" type boyfriend that dancers tend to hook up with. These type of guys don't care... lol
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
305gurl
When you live with someone, or more, who doesn't know you are stripping, as well being your primary source of income, they will found out eventually. Especially if you leave clues around and no cover up, as in, only working on Friday and Saturday nights and somehow got money to buy luxury items, pay a car payment on a luxury-tier car and full coverage insurance, go-out-&-eat-at-restaurant, groceries, rent and other bills at the end of the month while getting your hair done and having a closet full of name-brand clothes and shoes. He, she or they will put the pieces together very quickly.
These days, with the current state of neoliberal economics, people can tell a woman is a stripper by living with one or knowing one for 5 minutes.
The only way to get away with it is by moonlighting as a stripper on weekend nights while working a part-time overnight job or have a full-time and a part-time and squeeze the stripping gig in between. But that seems a lot of work just to hide your secret gig.
Or just get a "loser" type boyfriend that dancers tend to hook up with. These type of guys don't care... lol
How can someone tell a stripper in 5 minutes? I mean if your “normal” looking like u can be a normal looking girl n dance nobody has to know and maybe don’t get all tha luxury stuff maybe just invest say it’s all on credit, buy a house but “on credit “ a bag on credit maybe your bad w money in there eyes n there not married so why’s he worried about it lol. If he doesn’t go for it he doesn’t oh well and if he has no reason to think this of her like he doesn’t know it’s in her past then y would he think that?
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
You can work day shifts at a club. And keep your things in the locker. You also don’t need “stripper shoes” pleasers got stripper pumps. You can get lingerie instead of stripper outfits as well.
I would not tell him.
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VanessaMNYC
You can work day shifts at a club. And keep your things in the locker. You also don’t need “stripper shoes” pleasers got stripper pumps. You can get lingerie instead of stripper outfits as well.
I would not tell him.
Right I forgot about day shift, if u can still make $$ yea I agree w that but for me day shift is so hit n miss like I could make 300 one day shift then 1k another, I like the more steady weekend night $$ that’s the joy of stripping for me but if u like regulars day shift is great I hate um lol
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ava$
Right I forgot about day shift, if u can still make $$ yea I agree w that but for me day shift is so hit n miss like I could make 300 one day shift then 1k another, I like the more steady weekend night $$ that’s the joy of stripping for me but if u like regulars day shift is great I hate um lol
Liars can’t be choosy Sis better take what she can get, lol!
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
I think if you forget about dancing you'll only find ways to find reasons to make him responsible for that (if you clearly want to go back). I'm not sure your degree of wanting to go back.
If he's never going to accept that and it's what you want to do I think your better off just breaking it off. It is possible that he has no idea you did it & when you bring up that question he's not really thinking just reacting. Maybe deep down he could accept it?
I've been in this business for a year and been single and prefer it. I got booty calls for when I need dick and I'm happy with that way of life. I def dont' need a guy telling me what I can do with my life
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Get money, settle down later.
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
If ya retirement isn’t funded, you need a savings cushion n some extra cash AND he is unable or unwilling to fund it for you then leave and secure your bag first.
Dick will be available anywhere, anytime
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
I swear these repetitive posts get so annoying. In the stripper groups we see at least three a week. We usually drag the poster harder than a doctor off a United airlines flight. :banghead:
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Re: Wanna stripp again, but have a bf now...
Oh my... well I’d probably just lie about it. There’s no way he’s going to be ok with it. If he claims to be, it probably won’tstay that way for long. Or you can simply be honest and tell him you’d like to make more money. I have a bf and he has known of this for years. It’s not easy, he hates it and we fight about it sometimes. I pretty much just tell him I like living a certain lifestyle that he’s not able to provide. At any point he’s free to leave