Re: Is it just the money?
Re: Is it just the money?
He likes to pretend that women in all jobs have to in one way or another don't have to cater to men, or otherwise they won't get promoted, raises. How hard women work to even be heard or deal with men's fragile egos on every single job site. The shear amount of sexual harassment, jokes made at our expenses that are sexist daily at every single job. And if you go to HR to complain, then they look for ways to get you to quit so they can keep the man happy. How we all have to go overboard to be pleasant to men in the streets when they are sexually harassing us to keep from being murdered.
Men want so hard to believe that we all have a deep desire to please them to our own detriment. It never occurs to them that everyone works at a job for the MONEY!!! He is too obtuse to notice the men who don't spend money in the club don't get free table dances or attention. Like how many men would continue to go to work if it was for zero pay?
Re: Is it just the money?
He's a troll looking for attention. He has 3 posts to his credit and the first 2 were as "Sweat-Pants-Bonerman." Using his goofy post as a launching pad for the views of "men" is kinda' silly tbh. I doubt that anyone with a lick of sense believes dancers do the job because they harbor some ingrained desire to please men. He's just fishing for reactions.
To his broader question, obviously the money is a key motivator. But for some girls schedule flexibility also seems to be a key motivator. There aren't many professions that provide the kind of scheduling flexibility that many dancers have.
Re: Is it just the money?
[QUOTE=Sam38g;3298018]He likes to pretend that women in all jobs have to in one way or another don't have to cater to men, or otherwise they won't get promoted, raises. How hard women work to even be heard or deal with men's fragile egos on every single job site. The shear amount of sexual harassment, jokes made at our expenses that are sexist daily at every single job. And if you go to HR to complain, then they look for ways to get you to quit so they can keep the man happy. How we all have to go overboard to be pleasant to men in the streets when they are sexually harassing us to keep from being murdered.
As a man, I can only imagine the BS women have to endure when dealing with men. Believe me, I've had my share of quality women that never got what they deserved out of the relationship. I'd like to believe that I have changed, except I'm beginning to think I may be taking advantage of women in strip clubs. Does the fact that I'm extremely generous and get permissions up front give me the right to take advantage of them- I didn't say abuse- but take advantage?
Re: Is it just the money?
Yes, you are correct about the "Sweat-Pants-Bonerman." Same poster. I don't know what you mean by "troll." My intentions are sincere and hopefully I can contribute something valuable in support of exotic dancers reading this post. Thank you for your comments.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
He likes to pretend that women in all jobs have to in one way or another don't have to cater to men, or otherwise they won't get promoted, raises. How hard women work to even be heard or deal with men's fragile egos on every single job site. The shear amount of sexual harassment, jokes made at our expenses that are sexist daily at every single job. And if you go to HR to complain, then they look for ways to get you to quit so they can keep the man happy. How we all have to go overboard to be pleasant to men in the streets when they are sexually harassing us to keep from being murdered.
Men want so hard to believe that we all have a deep desire to please them to our own detriment. It never occurs to them that everyone works at a job for the MONEY!!! He is too obtuse to notice the men who don't spend money in the club don't get free table dances or attention. Like how many men would continue to go to work if it was for zero pay?
Every word of this is true. I worked in the corporate world for years and after all the harassment I decided if I have to be harassed at least I should be paid for it (camming and videos pay much better too). Plus I can permanently ban anyone who insults me instead of having to put up with it to keep my job.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
laurielegs
Every word of this is true. I worked in the corporate world for years and after all the harassment I decided if I have to be harassed at least I should be paid for it (camming and videos pay much better too). Plus I can permanently ban anyone who insults me instead of having to put up with it to keep my job.
Exactly, now I get paid way more to be sexually harassed. And women who aren't in this industry don't get how we can remove troublesome men without any issues from the sites we work on without any issues. There is no fall out, no lecture from HR. We can block & continue to make money.
And the guy who started this thread has zero originality, like that question hasn't been asked many times over. He isn't being profound, but boring. And I love busting men's false fantasies. Which is also how I make the most money on cam, lol.
Re: Is it just the money?
LOL god it's the fragile little male ego at work again desperately wanting to believe that we are interested in them beyond what we can milk them for.
Re: Is it just the money?
I have done this for 15 years on and off just the thrillllllzzzzzz !!
I don't even charge ! When I'm in the club I just discreetly give whatever the guy gave me BACK to them.
It's the only thing that gets me off really ( working for free ) !
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
Exactly, now I get paid way more to be sexually harassed. And women who aren't in this industry don't get how we can remove troublesome men without any issues from the sites we work on without any issues. There is no fall out, no lecture from HR. We can block & continue to make money.
And the guy who started this thread has zero originality, like that question hasn't been asked many times over. He isn't being profound, but boring. And I love busting men's false fantasies. Which is also how I make the most money on cam, lol.
I'm not exactly thrilled about my experience thus far, either. I assumed this was a forum for strip club patrons to ask questions and receive advice from actual strippers. Obviously, I was wrong about that, as my inquiries have yet to be answered or even addressed...
Oh, I get it. You prefer men be charming, interesting, and respectful patrons, while providers come on here to attack, insult, and ridicule male guests simply in search of advice. No thanks. What a colossal waste of my time.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss cleo
LOL god it's the fragile little male ego at work again desperately wanting to believe that we are interested in them beyond what we can milk them for.
With all due respect, it seems as though you are missing the point of my question. Mabey you are reading too much into it, or you just choose not to answer it. I don't know.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
carmen_b
I have done this for 15 years on and off just the thrillllllzzzzzz !!
I don't even charge ! When I'm in the club I just discreetly give whatever the guy gave me BACK to them.
It's the only thing that gets me off really ( working for free ) !
Look, the question asks whether it's ONLY the money and whether you would continue stripping if you could make the same money doing something else.
I do not understand why it's so hard for some of you to admit that you get paid to cater to men as if it's a horrible thing or something. That is what I mean by "pleasing men," okay? Nothing more.
Isn't it true that you cater to men's fantasies, sexual arousal, and need for companionship?
These may be aspects of the job you like. Mabey not. That is what I'm trying to find out. I love pleasing women, to take care of them. That is one of the reasons I spend big in the club. It's not just the sexual thrill. Why do you hate all men?
Re: Is it just the money?
What is strange is your need to think we need to cater to men's egos in our off time. Yet, you a man feels the need to invade an area that is safe for us to express how we really feel & then tell us we must be careful of men's feelings & egos at all times. Don't step into the kitchen if you can't take the heat.
You act like men come into strip clubs with the best of intentions, not to use, disrespect, cross boundaries, be total pigs, get drunk and lie. And it is lie after lie. Then lecture on how we waste our money on partying, while they are spending tons of money on drinks & dancing.
Men who spend money, big money don't have the need to go on internet forums to brag about it. You mention money thinking it will make us tell you what you want to hear or behave in a way that is more to your liking. Meanwhile, I am taking a break from editing a very expensive custom vid of small penis humiliation for a regular customer. Telling me to be nice no matter what is laughable.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thegentlemen
Why do you hate all men?
I don't think dancers hate all men. But they certainly seem to hate you, and as a female (non dancer) I can see why. If I were you I'd cut bait and move on. You're not doing yourself any favors here.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
laurielegs
Every word of this is true. I worked in the corporate world for years and after all the harassment I decided if I have to be harassed at least I should be paid for it (camming and videos pay much better too). Plus I can permanently ban anyone who insults me instead of having to put up with it to keep my job.
This. I remember being 21 years old (a single mom, trying to make money to provide for my 1-year old) with a male boss old enough to be my father, coming up next to me and whispering "Is it just me, or have your boobs gotten bigger?" *Cringe*
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thegentlemen
Look, the question asks whether it's ONLY the money and whether you would continue stripping if you could make the same money doing something else.
I do not understand why it's so hard for some of you to admit that you get paid to cater to men as if it's a horrible thing or something. That is what I mean by "pleasing men," okay? Nothing more.
Isn't it true that you cater to men's fantasies, sexual arousal, and need for companionship?
These may be aspects of the job you like. Mabey not. That is what I'm trying to find out. I love pleasing women, to take care of them. That is one of the reasons I spend big in the club. It's not just the sexual thrill. Why do you hate all men?
Its all a matter of perspective, you view it as us catering to men while in reality it is us lying, manipulating and playing you all in order to empty your wallet, and you are a victim of your own ego which is in fact what allows us to do it in the first place. LOL
Re: Is it just the money?
It boils down to emotional labour which exists in other work too. Some people enjoy making other feels good and can handle doing more of it, for others it is too exhausting or they literally don't care.
My friend was purely in the club for the money, she treated the guys disposably and quit as soon as she didn't need it anymore. I enjoyed having a fun interaction with customers, but I never got too deep with anyone, if they got attached I found it a lot of effort. I make more money elsewhere now, but I would still dance on the side if it was more practical for me to do so, but for the fun/glam factor (for the cash first of course), not particularly for the reasons you mentioned. Having said that I wouldn't do it as a side gig now if it wasnt fun and glam.
Re: Is it just the money?
I enjoy pleasing men I’m attracted to, yes. I wouldn’t do this job if I wasn’t a sexual person. Some of the guys I’ve dealt with I actually enjoyed my time with and I happen to like the power we have as women of getting a guy off and getting paid for it. To men that’s feminism, being comfortable in your feminine power. If I’m not attracted to them, the money makes up for it, but the guy has to be respectful of my boundaries or else it’s a turnoff completely.
I unfortunately have found that men get too lost in the fantasy and they start to shift into obsession with the girls. They think because they see us regularly or spent a lot of money on us that we owe them more than the service provided. This can become a dangerous situation for us, and I think that’s one reason why everyone has responded harshly.
Re: Is it just the money?
I like the money, flexible schedule, not commuting during rush hour traffic, and taking care of/having fun with my physical appearance. There's no desire to please men, only a desire to provide a service and get paid accordingly. At the end of the day, everyone's doing their job for money. Respect their time by being pleasant and paying well. I've never gone to Starbucks and wondered if my barista "liked" pleasing customers via making coffee. It doesn't matter.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thegentlemen
Look, the question asks whether it's ONLY the money and whether you would continue stripping if you could make the same money doing something else.
I do not understand why it's so hard for some of you to admit that you get paid to cater to men as if it's a horrible thing or something. That is what I mean by "pleasing men," okay? Nothing more.
Isn't it true that you cater to men's fantasies, sexual arousal, and need for companionship?
These may be aspects of the job you like. Mabey not. That is what I'm trying to find out. I love pleasing women, to take care of them. That is one of the reasons I spend big in the club. It's not just the sexual thrill. Why do you hate all men?
I will seriously answer your first question.
It depends what the "something else" is. Lots of variables. The answer is "no" if the alternate job is digging ditches or flipping burgers or sitting in a cubicle 40 hours a week. Honestly, anything 40 hours a week would be a no unless it was something super fun or interesting (and I mean like, shark biologist level of interesting), or business ownership.
I did start to slide unofficially into retirement upon getting a couple of serving and bartending positions that were lucrative. While the money was still variable, it could still be made if I was in a bad mood or not completely "on" and charming. Dancing requires a lot more mental & emotional effort than slinging drinks. I also knew I'd leave with at least X amount, based on the range of the place, plus a paycheck later. There was always a nagging fear of not making house + tipout back at the club.
I formally had to hang up the heels due to getting into medical school, wherein it is not worth the risk of a club raid or something landing me with a misdemeanor charge. That is me quitting dancing for the promise of making way *more* money than stripping.
If I had been able to take the good aspects of stripping and the fun nights and nice customers, and completely eliminate the slow nights full of wannabe thugs and Touchy McOctopus Hands, then yes, I would have kept dancing and you'd probably have had to offer me nothing less than med school to get me to quit. There were absolutely a lot of things I liked. I loved going on stage, the outfits & makeup, getting paid to drink champagne, a lot of the regular customers, etc. The lack of schedule or boss was a huge draw too.
To comment on the rest of your post, yeah, the job pays you to "cater to" men, the same way the barista "caters to" you by making your latte. We don't do it out of a desire to please you except for the end goal of getting your money. The barista doesn't make coffee because she wants to caffeinate strangers, she wants a paycheck.
It's just a job, honestly. Not some profound choice we made. It probably takes a certain personality type to make that choice, given societal stigma, but yeah. Just a job.
PS, we don't hate all men, we just hate when they come on here and ask questions, then get their feathers ruffled when the answer isn't what they wanted to hear or comes with a side of sass.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jasmine22
I enjoy pleasing men I’m attracted to, yes. I wouldn’t do this job if I wasn’t a sexual person. Some of the guys I’ve dealt with I actually enjoyed my time with and I happen to like the power we have as women of getting a guy off and getting paid for it. To men that’s feminism, being comfortable in your feminine power. If I’m not attracted to them, the money makes up for it, but the guy has to be respectful of my boundaries or else it’s a turnoff completely.
I unfortunately have found that men get too lost in the fantasy and they start to shift into obsession with the girls. They think because they see us regularly or spent a lot of money on us that we owe them more than the service provided. This can become a dangerous situation for us, and I think that’s one reason why everyone has responded harshly.
Yess, this is close to my feelings (except i was never attracted to anyone, the dynamic, being in work mindset does not do it for me). Hard to explain to anyone that doesn't get it. Certainly customers who asked similar questions couldn’t grasp the nuance lol
Re: Is it just the money?
Reality is no one goes to any job and has so much fun that they say, no need to pay me. If your boss saw you having a good time at work and then said, "well, no need to pay you this week, you seem to enjoy this job and dont need the pay." You would quit. No matter how nice your boss is, even if you were fucking him/her/they and them on the side. You would still want that pay check. And if your boss, despite not being attracted to them insisted on a blow job every morning before work started. And then said how it looks like you really enjoyed blowing them and no longer need to pay you. I bet, you would have an issue about it.
See how the shoe on the other foot fits.
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
GrrlCustie
I don't think dancers hate all men. But they certainly seem to hate you, and as a female (non dancer) I can see why. If I were you I'd cut bait and move on. You're not doing yourself any favors here.
And I see that you have a flair for overstatement. Nobody on here hates me. They know nothing about me other than I'm a man and a strip club customer, which is all the information some on here need to mistrust another.
Hating or disliking an individual for no reason, because of experience, or because they posted a question by invitation is being judgmental and prejudicial. Is that what this is; do dancers hate their male customers?
Re: Is it just the money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss cleo
Its all a matter of perspective, you view it as us catering to men while in reality it is us lying, manipulating and playing you all in order to empty your wallet, and you are a victim of your own ego which is in fact what allows us to do it in the first place. LOL
Okay, if that makes you feel better about what you do, I'm with you 100%. But the reality is that you're not fooling anyone. The vast majority of frequent customers (the ones that spend big) already know dancers lie and try to con them out of their money. They don't care.
Lying and manipulating might open the door to a new customer, but that is not how to clean out his wallet and it certainly has nothing to do with ego.
To get into their wallet, you have to provide quality lap dances. Experienced and successful dancers understand and are okay with catering to their customer's needs and tailoring the lap dance experience to individual customer preferences. They don't have to lie, mislead, or con a man to clean out his wallet.