Is Honesty the Best Policy?
I started at a new club on Wednesday, going from a bikini bar to an upscale, topless gentlemen's club. Now, the norm is for the gals to take their tops off on stage but it isn't uncommon for dancers to remain covered (thong and top) for the duration of their stage performance. VIP dances are always topless, however, though it isn't a requirement per se.
I never go topless. This is a problem.
I stated elsewhere that I had breast cancer a few years back, which is why I don't go topless. I plan to have reconstructive surgery as soon as possible, but in the meantime I'm debating with how to best deal with this catch-22.
The manager at my new club suggested that I should not offer VIP dances until my surgery (I have a policy of telling the manager only about my medical history). I counter-offered with my method at my previous club- telling the customer beforehand that I don't take my top off during VIP- and he said that this should satisfy his concern about customers complaining at not getting the full view to which they are accustomed. This being a very upscale club, he was quite concerned about a customer complaint.
I was far too nervous my first night to offer a dance of any sort. Last night (second night) I offered and received six dances from three gentlemen. All three were told beforehand that I don't remove the top and paid for a dance regardless; all three also purchased a second dance.
The first customer told me afterward that it was the best dance he had ever received there, despite the lack of frontal nudity. The second told me I gave an excellent dance and was very vocal in praise during the dance, though he told me afterwards that the other girls gave "more" (the bouncer suggested that he was just trying to bully me into an "extra" because I was new). The third fellow was quite "into" the first dance and during the second he demanded I remove my top.
I know I told him that I don't remove my top. I know he heard me, and he said "Let's see how well you dance, then." Fearing a complaint to the management, despite having forewarned him, I gave in and told him about the cancer and the surgery (no details, just told him). I didn't know how else to justify not taking my top off, which I was certainly not going to do! He persisted and I negotiated down to just sliding my top over to show my unblemished breast. After the second dance, I dressed without offering another dance.
I have never told a customer the reason for my refusal to go topless. I don't fancy their pity and really can't stand comments of "Well, let me see it, it can't be THAT bad." I don't like the dancers knowing either. My question here is this: what should I do if this happens again? Once I've already warned them that I won't go topless, how do I convey "and I meant it" in the VIP room? Should I just tell them why? I don't like the idea very much, but if it keeps them from complaining despite having been warned then I suppose I'll have to. Problem is, I don't want my co-workers to think I'm using it as a pity ploy to get more dances, I HATE being pitied and I flat-out refuse to lower the VIP price (a friend's suggestion to handle complaints).
I'm usually good with clever retorts, but this one has me stumped.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
i dont know what to tell you but i guess it would be better to just tell the customers cause that way it'll make it a bit easier for you but then again you say you dont want your co-workers to know your business ....i could just imagine how uncomfortable you feel ....i was thinking to myself if you could just take out a loan to get them done so you wont have to worry about it then when you get them done and go back to work you'll feel more comfortable so this way you'll be able to work and pay off the loan.....but never mind thats just my stupid thought i hate to hear people in situations where they are uncomfortable....anyhow i think if you tell some customers they wont mind and not all customers discuss the other girls with the ones they speak to
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
Lilith, you don't owe anyone explanations. If you tell them before hand that you don't take your top off, and they take you in VIP anyway, then they shouldn't say any more about it, however, we know that's not going to happen in every case. If they ask you why, just say that you have your reasons or say "Because I don't" and leave it at that and change the subject. They don't need to know any more information.
I hate it when guys question our motives, like "Why can't I touch your pussy?" Because I said so, that's why.
I think your only responsibility here is to make sure they are fully aware that you are not going to take your top off under any circumstances before you go back into VIP.
I think its a good idea not to let your coworkers know. Also, definitely do not lower your prices. You are worth just as much if not more than any other girl there.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
I agree with Kobi. You don't need to explain to anyone if you told them beforehand that you don't take off your top and they buy the dance anyway. You could come up with a 'shy girl' deal, sort of giggle and tell them you're just too shy or something if they persist. Give them a great dance, and many guys won't mind, as you've already discovered.
If you are only opposed to showing the breast you were operated on, you could actually use this to your advantage. Work that newbie angle to the fullest! Tell the guys you don't remove your top because you are new and a little shy, then during the dance, pretend to let the one 'unblemished' breast fall out of the top. 'Oops, my boob slipped out', giggle. Guys love that sort of stuff. I bet you'll get alot of repeat dances with this.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
A good dancer can give a good dance if she is nude or has clothes on, i belive.. boobies are just boobies
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
Have you thought about sheepishly admitting that you were a silly little girl in your younger days and got a tattoo that is in the process of being removed so Doc's orders are to keep 'em covered?
You may be able to pull it off until you can afford your surgery.
"Some people will believe anything if it's whispered to them" ~Pierre De Marivaux
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
A variation of what Naomi said that may work is to say you have a sunburn on that part of your anatomy and.... With tanning salons you may be able to get away with that under house lights most of the year.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
Just don't do it, you don't owe them any explanation. And especially don't do it just because some asshole tries to make you.
Lena
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
As long as you tell before the dance you don't go topless that should be fine. It's up to you if you want to tell them why.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
I tried Bridgette's idea last night, working the "I'm new here, it's only my third night and I'm nervous" *giggle giggle*.
It's a great idea but it didn't work well for me. I hauled ass learning how to strip well. Customers and dancers have a hard enough time believing I've stripped for less than six months, let alone that I'm new enough to be nervous about lapdancing. Without trying to sound conceited, I dance too well to pull off the "new girl" tricks. Trying them just makes people think I've danced for years but are pulling the wool over their eyes. Which sucks, because it would have worked perfectly if I actually danced like someone with less than six months of experience.
I think I'll give Naomi's idea a try tonight. Question: does removing a tattoo leave any visible marks that customers might ask about later? I don't want to be called on the lie later on, when I'm going topless.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
Quote:
A variation of what Naomi said that may work is to say you have a sunburn on that part of your anatomy and.... With tanning salons you may be able to get away with that under house lights most of the year.
God, I wish. I'm a natural redhead with an Irish heritage. Translation: paler-than-pale skin which doesn't ever tan. I might try self-tanner and then work the "sunburn" thing, but right now it would be too obvious that I don't tan, let alone have a sunburn.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
i think it does, or at least earlier removal techniques did. i have an abnormal area on my arm that people always think was a removed tattoo.
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
That's the beauty of this lie... the more laser sessions you go to the longer the process takes and leaves little to no evidence. Some will opt to simply remove the ink because it's cheaper and faster; but you're going all the way which is why you must remain covered longer. ;)
Re: Is Honesty the Best Policy?
;D
Brilliant, Naomi! I'll give it a try.