stereotypes and impressions
Since I have been dancing I have come across a lot of things about the "image" of a dancer (that other people think) which seem to be bothering me. At first I thought it would not bother me due to the fact that its not other peoples lives, it is mine. But, I can't help but feel that my impression on people matters a lot and when someone finds out I'm a dancer and express's negativity, I become stuck. As a dancer I know that it takes a great deal of fortitude to have this job and do it several times a week. I think its a wonderful opportunity to be able to pay for school and find it being an enjoyable job for the meantime. People seem to like to stick to what they think rather then know from experience and become very judgemental. I am having a hard time dealing with this and wonder if I should just stick it through and continue doing it as this may only be a temporary feeling.
My Boyfriend says that he understands its a job and although it may be weird he knows its what I want to do while my sister feels that "I might as well be a prostitute".
Any advice from some dancers who have been in this situation and how you deal with it and still remain able to enjoy dancing? Thanks :-*
Re: stereotypes and impressions
Hi sweetie! I definatly understand how you feel and I feel the exact same way! I just wanted you to know that all that matters is what you think and feel about what you do. One one eles has your responsiblities for making rent, paying tuituon, paying for groceries,ect. So no one eles should judge what you choose to do to get those things in life that need to be taken care of as long as you are not hurting anyone. As strippers we are not hurting anyone in fact we are making people feel a little bit happier. In my mind we are no diffrent from a movie star that that lets you escape for two hours in a film that makes you laugh or lightens up your day. That is what we do let people escape and for a three minute song dance let them have fun. We are no diffrent from Jim Carrey or Steve Martin. There job is to entertain people and that is our job! Life is too short to not do what you really want to do with your life just because socitey might not approve. I can definatly relate to the frustration of how people can look down on our buisness. I think for the most part people who have a negitive image of strippers have never been to a strip club in their life and only have ideas like it is some seedy bar with bikers crawling all over and just a rowdy seedy atmosphere like has been played out in movies for the last twenty years (Porky's anyone?) Also I just wanted to say it sounds like you have a very caring boyfiend who loves you. I too am lucky to have the love of my life that accepts my job and treats me like the mature women that I am letting me make my own discions in life. I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!! Also my sister is against the stripping industry but she is my best friend and treats me no diffrently and loves me just the same. But she deffinatly is not a cheerleader for my job but then again she has never been to a strip club! But not to say I am completly out in the open about my job. In fact I lie alot and say I am a coctail waitress(the standard lie strippers tell people what the do for work) This makes me angry but I sometimes feel it is almost eaiser this way. In fact I am moving into a new apartment soon and I am very nervous about filling our the apllication. If I don't get get accepted do you think that is grounds for a discrimination lawsuit? Somehow I think I should tell the truth because with all the demands for landlords to rent out space in my area it would be pretty idiotic for them to turn me down based on my job from a finacial standpoint. Hey they need to make money to right? But on the plus side I recently bought a car and was honest about what I do and the sales people treated me with complete respect so I think I will be honest. Well keep your head up high and do what you want with your life!
Re: stereotypes and impressions
Something I ask myself in situations like this is, 'Will it matter __ years from now?' If not, then it doesn't matter now either. So what if some people think negatively about your job? I do understand, and struggled with this when I first considered dancing and after I started for a while. I think as time goes on you begin to place less importance on what other people think of you and become more concerned with making the right decision for YOU. I think that is somewhat part of maturing and somewhat part of getting more used to dancing and everything that goes with it. The best thing you can do is make sure you aren't doing anything you are personally uncomfortable with, and remind yourself you aren't doing anything below your own standards. You can only live by your own standards, because no one else's will be right for you. Focus on that, and know that anyone who judges you negatively for dancing is not your friend. Your friends will accept you for you, regardless of your job.
Re: stereotypes and impressions
Lyndsey, maintaining your personal integrity is a problem you will have all your life. The key to it all is self-confidence. You know in your heart what you believe and the stronger you believe that ,the less the opinions of others will matter.
Other people don't live your life so why should they have a say in the matter? Be true to yourself first.
Re: stereotypes and impressions
thanks so much.. these do help... its something I know but I guess you need to constantly remind yourself everyday. Thanks again.. I will stick this out and do what I want, for I am the only person that lives with myself.
Re: stereotypes and impressions
I love that - maintaining your own personal integrity.
Sums it up quite nicely dreamer. :)
Re: stereotypes and impressions
While 'personal integrity' may be of great value to your own psyche, 'official integrity' is of great importance to family, friends and future employers. Between the Hollywood Stereotype characterization of exotic dancers that the media serves up to the general public, and the potential criminal charges dancers increasingly face as a result of anti-dance club ordinances, being a dancer by profession these days is held in less esteem than cleaning toilets by much of the US population. As Lindsy's sister comment clearly shows, much of the population now views exotic dancing in the same vein as prostitution. And other than the most upscale no-contact show clubs, odds are that this view isn't altogether incorrect (at least where some girls in the club are concerned). This is not to say that upscale show clubs are 100% free of acts of prostitution - only that show club girls usually deal with this action outside of the club after closing time.
As I have posted many times, when I first entered the exotic dancing profession it was considered a tittilating offshoot of show business by the dancers, the club customers, and by and large by the general public as well. But as the years have passed, "show business" has gradually mutated into "sex business". There was a time when I was actually proud of my performances from an artistic standpoint. Now, customers care a lot more about 'mileage' than they do about an attention grabbing stage show.
Dancing is now a "necessary evil" which exchanges as little sexual tittilation as possible for as much customer money as possible, and in reality there is no longer any artistic aspect valued by customers. Also, dancing today in many places means "bending" the law on a daily basis in order to earn enough money to justify doing it vs. taking a job as a WalMart checkout clerk, which in itself fosters a feeling of "sleaziness". Dancing under today's conditions provides practically nothing for me to be proud of.
Re: stereotypes and impressions
Be who you are, do what you want. It's your life, live it. Cops are also known as "the bad guys". Doctors as rip offs. Look at realtors, a license to steal. The list goes on and on. with 95% of job titles getting some bad rap. Massage therapist...yea right, see what i mean.
dancers got it too, we deal with it.
Like i have said before, some people are just not cut out to be a stripper. And if it bothers you, welcome to the club, it bothers many, but they keep on doing it. Money, power, to feel beautiful for a few reasons. And some of us actually liked it!!!
Pamela :)
Re: stereotypes and impressions
Before I started dancing I too thought all strippers were slutty, drug users, alcoholics, and just plain nasty. Boy was I surprised to see girls doing homework in the dressing room, talking to their husband and kids on the phone and things like that. Lots of the ones I know and have worked with in the past and present have other jobs and/or working on a degree. I've only known a few who fit what I thought was the typical Hollywood stereotype. I've dancing about 6 months, and most chicks I know are pretty classy women! And stripper is NOT a dirty word.....
Re: stereotypes and impressions
Right on, Strypper! Stripper is NOT a dirty word. Although there are some nasty stereotypes lingering around, I've never been afraid to confront them. I'm the stereotypical med-student-dancer, bumping and grinding to make my tuition....but there are so many more aspiring writers, artists, entertainers, bankers, teachers, etc. out there doing the same thing. This is a job for me; a job I love, granted, but it's still a job. Being a stripper is not who I am in its totality. As long as you keep in mind that you're a wonderful human being with oodles of other things that define you besides your job, it makes it a little easier to deal with the stereotypes.
Re: stereotypes and impressions
It's your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
You better do what you want with it.
Tyler.