Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Hey girls..
Wow, what a slow Saturday night for me last night! Anyways... something has come to my attention that is truly bugging me. How do I ALWAYS seem to end up trapped in endless conversations with men only to show nothing for it afterwards? Not that I don't love to converse with the customers, but I always seem to end up spending so much time talking to them and maybe getting no dance at all. I try to be polite and excuse me self most of the time, acting like I am busy, but it's embarassing when they see me standing on the other side of the room after I make an excuse to go somewhere else. I can't help but feel slightly annoyed when they pretend to act so interested in buying a dance, only to spend half of my night talking to them! LOL.
Marika
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Quote:
I can't help but feel slightly annoyed when they pretend to act so interested in buying a dance, only to spend half of my night talking to them!
I'm hoping you're being sarcastic when you say half the night. Don't feel embaressed about politely excusing yourself. I simply say "well, I'm going to mingle now and try to get some dances." They are all quite aware that selling dances is how we make our money.
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
I soooo hear that - its part of our manners and upbringing - and hard to separate the working mindset from that polite frame of mind - so when I know I am not gonna get some dances from Mr Chatty I usually say something like well, I guess I am not going to get any action if people think WE are hooked up - soooo- I am gonna go work the room and see if I look available then I might get some action, wink wink! He'll either say ok or ask u to stay and he'll buy a dance. I always throw the tag line in that standing sitting or chatting with him makes me unavailable...so then if he DOES see me alone at anytime he'll know the game - not that they dont anyway - I HAVE had the occasional doofus say "well if yer jist standin thar why dont ya come and chat?" I respond with yah, as much as I would love to I need to appear available, if I sit with you - no one will approach me...unless....did u want to go for a dance now? Just take me for one, get my rythym going, help me get it started sweety! Wink, nudge, & standing extra close....
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
From a guys point of view. I do hate the "wanna dance fly- by" and that will normally get an automatic no, but if you do not know the guy I see no reason to wait more than two or three songs to ask for a dance. I guess I may be a little shy and I prefer the lady asks for the dance. If a dancer I do not know sits too long without asking for a dance I get a bit uneasy.
Once I do get to know a dancer we often spend a lot of time talking, but she knows she will be well compensated.
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
You should only sit with a customer (who isn't one of your regulars) for two, maybe three songs before asking for a dance. If he says no, smile and say 'ok well I guess I've gotta get back to work', and go to the next available guy. And while you're chatting with someone before asking for the dance, you can casually observe the room to locate your next potential target - just don't do it too obviously or spend too much time scanning the room. This way if he says no and it's time to go, you have somewhere to go. Or take a walk through the club to the dj booth or to get a glass of water, and on the way scan for another customer. The key is to keep moving, and don't spend too much time just sitting. Many guys will purposely keep talking away just to see how long they can keep you there without paying you - sometimes even saying they want a dance 'later'. Don't let them trap you. Just politely tell them you have to return to work, smile, and move on. They know the deal.
Also, if you're having trouble getting to the topic of dances when some guy is yapping on and on about toilet paper or some other such nonsense, you have to be a little creative in steering the conversation in that direction, or just be assertive and plain out ask. I will sometimes comment on how the girl onstage is doing a cool dancemove, and maybe he'd like for me to show him some of my private dance moves, wink wink. Or maybe just a squeeze on the knee and a direct, 'hey can I dance for you?'
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Quote:
..................Also, if you're having trouble getting to the topic of dances when some guy is yapping on and on about toilet paper ........................
Ok...... I'm curious....... There has to be a story waiting to be told here....
Toilet Paper?
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Hey, speaking of this, I actually like to talk and have to get myself to shut up and ask for a dance sometimes! But I did find a great new line that I've been using -
Me: So, what do you do?
Guy: Oh, I'm a systems engineer.
Me: Sounds exciting! I'm a stripper.
Guy: (laughs)
Me: Wanna see what I do for a living?
Guy: Absolutely!
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Number 1 hun, don't spend too much time with any new guy. Only my regulars do i devote extra time to. After the first 5 minutes if you get no where with him move on to another spot.
If you have to get out of his view, so he does not see you standing someplace else, go straight to the ladies room for a hair check etc.
When you come out he will have a hard time getting site of you for a time. Go to other guys, just walk up, smile. Ya know what i do, (and colettecall had given great skills in her post,) i bend down and ask if he can help adjust my ankle strap. Something that has his fingers touching a spot where i won't get nailed. It's a great ice breaker. When he is finished ask him questions. Do you think my shoes are sexy? Etc. Then switch gears, and ask him questions about himself. OH they love to talk about themselves. Just keep it flowing for 5 minutes turning in the direction about you giving a dance. Sexy, provacative, smile, laugh, toss your hair, show lots of leg, entice him, seduce him with your movements. If all fails move on. But be sure to tell him, you got your eye on him, as you walk away smiling.
Some guys go, but just can't be had. we are the "eye candy". Period. And thats enough for some. They don't bug me, because alot of girls think this kinda guy is a waste of time, but i had a few break down, and now they are semi regulares.
Pamela :)
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Quote:
Also, if you're having trouble getting to the topic of dances when some guy is yapping on and on about toilet paper or some other such nonsense,
Toilet paper? LOL!! Al Bundy and the NO MA'AM gang live!! ;D
I got into an intriguing conversation with a dancer over the breath freshening power of mint flavor Mentos once, but thats a new one. Oh well, to each his/her own.
I did buy a drink and a dance from her, so the time she invested in chatting was worth it.
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
LOL! That just sort of rolled out. Some guys will literally say ANYTHING to keep you hanging. I've had plenty even try to hold me by physically grabbing my arm and yapping ninety to nothing, trying to talk so fast I can't understand what they're saying, except maybe the odd word or phrase here and there. One of those times I caught the phrase 'toilet paper' exiting the guy's mouth, and knew I had to get out of there quick. No telling what he was trying to say! I've had all sorts of requests from guys, most of which I try to accommodate, but I draw the line at toilet training!
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Quote:
Some guys will literally say ANYTHING to keep you hanging. I've had plenty even try to hold me by physically grabbing my arm and yapping ninety to nothing, trying to talk so fast I can't understand what they're saying, except maybe the odd word or phrase here and there.
How could they??? These things happen in GENTLEMEN'S clubs ??? ;D
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Most ladies will dictate what it is they want to do: dance or talk. In a couple of visits recently I've found dancers that really don't seem to want to dance...which has saved me a buck or two (now I sound like a commercial). There was one time a couple of weeks ago on a slow Monday night, I walked in at 10 PM, walked out at 2 AM having spent very little money on one dancer who was with me that entire time. She really didn't seem too interested in making money, BUT we had a great time talking about whatever it was we were talking about. She's completely nuts, but then so am I (and we've known each other for about a year anyway). Time flies when you're having fun! ;D
She PROBABLY could have made more money working the room, BUT she chose to hang out with a regular customer that she got along with and whose business she knows she will always have. She may not have made that much money that particular night, but both of us had loads of fun. I know most of the dancers on this site see this job as just that...a job, but if you can't have fun in your job, then it's time to find something else to do.
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Quote:
...... I know most of the dancers on this site see this job as just that...a job, but if you can't have fun in your job, then it's time to find something else to do.
As a dancer - I agree. When the job starts to grind on me (usually mentally), I either: take time off from a week to however long I feel is appropriate or cut back my hours for a period of time or remind myself about what I enjoy about the job.
I sometimes groan and whinge alot before I go to work (my flatmate will attest to this) however that groaning and whinging actually helps me in the end... wierd. I get it all out before I go to work so that I don't have the desire to do it at work.
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
It's customers like you ML that we love to see, and have as a regular. A man who loves our conversation as well as our dancing is a #1 in my book. Pamela ;)
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Yes ML, that is also one reason why we like to have regulars. It takes away some of the pressure to keep working, so we can relax more with the guy, have fun and feel comfortable knowing we'll be appropriately compensated. Besides, it's just nice to have a familiar face sometimes. :)
Re: Time wasted.. nothing gained?
Yeah, like I said, I like to talk, and when you have a customer there that is good conversation and fun to hang out with that you occasionally get naked for, the night flies by and it's like you're not even working, just having fun. I love love love nights like that!