Exotic Dancing...#1 Sexiest Jobs says MSN
9 ½ Sexy Jobs
by Ben Murray
When business is pleasure, there's little reason to ever be late. Spice up your work life with one of these sexy jobs:
1. Exotic Dancer
The Job: Dance in the most seductive manner possible while shedding your clothes and making audience members wish they could be reborn as a vertical metal pole.
Qualifications: A good body is required, and a mastery of stick-on tassels will cinch the job. Chippendales applicants should bring their own washboard stomachs -- easy-off leather chaps will be provided.
Notes: Just like you saw in Striptease, the ability to keep 5,000 ones in a G-string should be second nature to you.
2. Centerfold Photographer
The Job: Hang out with stunning people, have them disrobe and continue to look stunning, and take pictures.
Qualifications: Substantial experience and a killer portfolio are base requirements -- a degree in photography will help you build that. Having seen thousands of these pictures does not qualify you to take them.
Notes: Your subject never changes, but does it matter?
3. Slinky Underwear Model
The Job: Look natural doing everyday activities like arranging flowers or standing around smiling in leopard-print French cuts and a push-up bra.
Qualifications: Both male and female models need tenacity and charisma to get on the cover of Vogue. You'll also need self-confidence to compete with other beautiful people.
Notes: Take heart that lighter-than-helium models are not the only ones finding work.
4. Sex Therapist
The Job: Sit comfortably and listen to intimate tales from the private lives of strangers, and then share your best tips and pointers for making things better.
Qualifications: Besides complete comfort talking about all things unmentionable, sex therapists need to be certified at a number of levels before they’re qualified to legally dispense advice. Many take the traditional path through medical school -- they don’t call her Dr. Ruth for nothing.
Notes: As pleasurable as hanging out and talking about fantasies for your work day may sound, remember that people have some pretty weird fantasies.
5. Rock God/Goddess
The Job: Your mission is to front a band of international fame, ooze sex appeal from every pore, please legions of zealous groupies and ensure skintight leather pants never go out of style.
Qualifications: Though it may not seem like it, talent is a requirement -- unless your father is Ozzy Osbourne. Although many successful artists formally study music, this is not necessary -- look at Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Notes: Getting a recording contract at a major label is about as easy as ascending to the throne of Norway -- unless you're an Osbourne or Jennifer Love Hewitt.
6. Massage Therapist
The Job: Kneading, flexing and rubbing mostly nude people for physical satisfaction -- theirs. The use of oils is not only allowed, but encouraged.
Qualifications: The American Massage Therapy Association cites 500 hours of training at an accredited institution as an entry-level minimum. While about 25 states regulate massage therapists under different standards, national certification is available.
Notes: The ratio of clients who look like Halle Berry to clients who look like Dick Cheney is not too encouraging.
7. Lurid Romance Novelist
The Job: Titillate the lustful tendencies of ladies the world over with tales of forbidden desire, burning love and shameless sex.
Qualifications: First, you need the ability to keep from shuddering when writing the word “manhood.” Be advised that first-time publication is not easy. In addition to writing a manuscript with a unique plot, there's the matter of an agent, a publisher, marketing, distribution, etc.
Notes: For authenticity, you ought to do some firsthand research on the logistics of quickly and demurely shucking a massive set of petticoats.
8. Chocolatier
The Job: Hang out near huge vats of the world's most popular aphrodisiac, consuming metric tons of the substance annually and using the word “succulent” regularly.
Qualifications: Becoming a true professional chocolatier takes years of training and apprenticeship, often starting with formal education as a dessert chef, confectioner or patissier.
Notes: You get to take the extra chocolate home and use it however you want.
9. Soap Opera Actor/Actress
The Job: Look convincingly shocked when someone claiming to be your wife wakes from a tragic coma only to be revealed as your spouse's evil twin, and then sleep with her anyway.
Qualifications: Like many entertainment jobs, to find acting work, you need to get an agent and do commercials for acne medication until you can audition for a part in one of the major shows.
Notes: There's more making out on set than on a high-school dance floor, and this time everyone's good looking.
9 ½. Sexy Lists Writer
The Job: Think about sexy jobs, write them down; think about sexy people, write them down; think about sexy places, write them down…
Qualifications: For this one, you need a proven ability to count to 10. Also, many journalists start out freelancing for small publications, working up to writing columns, features or -- when all else fails -- letters to adult magazines.
Notes: Dashingly attractive and ridiculously charming, these people are smashingly hip and cutting-edge enough to use such terms.
Re: Exotic Dancing...#1 Sexiest Jobs says MSN
thanks for the smile miss behavin :)
Re: Exotic Dancing...#1 Sexiest Jobs says MSN
Okay, so I'm an exotic dancer, and my bf is a massage therapist....let's hope we don't have a kid that aspires to be a soap opera actor or something! :-/
jax