preparations before a job problems
I took time off for over a year and my BF just lost his job. My BF is also breaking up with me + moving out of the apartment. I decided I need to keep the apartment and pick up rent, which means i'd need to start dancing again.
i put on 15 pounds, and these past 2 weeks has been very stressful and also has me feeling nervous, I gained another 7!!!
so I'm now about 140-145lbs and 5'2 (40-31-38)
I also have DD implants which does not look great when your fat!!
I have been binging knowing that i will soon have to get a job and I'm nervous so I'm eating!!!
It also doesn't help when a friend of mine tells me to go to a NJ bikini club that is like 3rd tier, it ruins my ego. But then I might not feel totally comfortable at a 2nd tier bikini club where most of the girls weigh under 120lbs.
i have to get an audition soon and I'm not preparing correctly!!! I have a treadmill at home but haven't jumped on in 3 weeks because i feel too heavy and unmotivated. Each day is closer and closer to getting a job, but I don't feel good about myself because i look fatty in my outfits. Also the stress of the BF moving his things out in crates night by night, and having to pay the rent next month, debt + other expenses because i chose to keep the apartment, knowing i have to get a job looking like this- So i freak out and eat.
I may have to look for job in two weeks and there is no way I'm going to loose the amount i want to get into an
'ok' bar. I mad at myself because I've known for a while that I'm going to have to start dancing again but binged anyway. I don't know why i do things counter-productive to what i want the goal to be!
i cannot get the motivation like i had before. Does anyone else have a hard time regaining motivation?? Or-just not doing the right preparations before a project to do your best??
Has anyone had problems in the preparations that goes into getting a job?
Re: preparations before a job problems
You are going through a hard time. Give your self a rest. A break. Take a little time, rushing will put you back 10 steps. Take a warm bath, read a good book, get a good nights sleep. And if you don't feel as stressed tommorow, take on a project as simple as moving around the house and singing, chew gum. Drink lots of water (it is very filling.) Hit the books about weight and talk to friends. The key lies within you. Motivation is yours. Take it and run. Look in the mirror and find ONE thing about you everday you like. You will see them, if you look hard enough, write them down to read in the future. Focus on the here and now, not 3 weeks down the road. Planning is great, it's a motivater too, but you need to focus on YOU. Jump on that treadmill, if only for 15 minutes a day to start. Cut the food back some. But keep eating what you like, or you may burden yourself, and fall back. A good trick that works is to NOT eat everything on your plate, through it in the garbage quickly. You won't pick it out!!
Yes, i have bad days motivating. But that is a mindset that comes from within. Give yourself a break. Take baby steps. You deserve it. Everyday do ONE thing that is good for your body, and your mind will follow!!! Lotsa luck...i have been there, actually pretty much now. Pamela
Re: preparations before a job problems
Pamela gave some good advise all I will say is don't beat yourself up over what has already happened. You can't change the past, but you have full control over the present and the future. You have to decide now is the time to take control and start making your preparations. And remember if you have to start out in a club your not happy you don't have to stay thier forever just think of that as a stepping stone.
Re: preparations before a job problems
Riotgrrl what bars in NJ do you consider 3rd tier? And just because a bar is 3rd tier doesn't mean that there is not money to be made there. I personally just like a club that is clean. I go in to make my money and then I leave. I tried a so called 1st tier club and I found the girls to be too pretentious and to much overhead. I was going through the same dilema you are going through a month ago. All I can say is you have to sike yourself up to get into shape. If your feeling down you not inclined to want to exercise. Also you should get some new outfite (1 or 2) that fit you properly. I gained a few inches in my hips and some of the things I tried on at one store made me look fat. So what I did was shop at a store that has a costume lady on hand (Simones Closet in Linden). She made things for me that were just my size. So the look fab on me.
Re: preparations before a job problems
Honey, look. Here's the thing, coming from a dancer who is not really that pretty. Don't take it personally. I realize that may sound asinine, but really. Look at it as a professional criticism, and a professional limitation that with further work etc. you can overcome. Pamela is right, don't beat yourself up. There is no point to it. But at the same time try to take suggestions and criticisms objectively and without getting into a crying jag over it. (I've been having my own issues along this line. I relate).
Jenny
Re: preparations before a job problems
if your eating more then you want but cant really stop then instead of drinking pop how about water? instead of chocolate milk go for the slim fast.. instead of a chocolate bar theres many VERY good slim fast bars
if you want chips... go for the baked kind *they are pretty good!*
well all im sayin is you dont have to stop eating to loose weight! just be more careful about the intake of fat..
Re: preparations before a job problems
Had you thought of working in the club as a hostess or door girl? Maybe you could cocktail waitress or something until you are feeling better about your shape?
Another thought is working at the third tier club. Dancing in and of itself is great exercise!! If your time is occupied dancing you won't have time to think about eating.
And just one more suggestion: have you considered taking a job in a regular nightclub as a cocktail waitress? Some of those ladies make as good of money as a third tier club dancer. I worked at a regular club as a cocktail and most weekend nights I would leave with over $100 in tips AND get a paycheck every week. This will give you some money to get by and the physical nature of cocktailing will motivate you to get in better shape, as just taking on the job will start the pounds peeling off.
Re: preparations before a job problems
You could try weight watchers. I think the hardest thing about weight loss is getting started but once you do, and you start to see the pounds come off that is motivation in itself. You could also try Fat burners. They work for some people, but others have problems from them. SO I would be really careful to how you feel if you do take them. The best thing and most stable weight loss plan is proper diet and exercise. Go to the store and buy everything you like in fat free form. Drink two glasses of water before every meal. Watch tv while you exercise, or join some fun exercise classes. What clubs are you thinking of working at? I also agree that you could dance the weight off. I have seen some girls that weigh much more than you, and they still make money. Also set your goals small. At first make your goal 5 pounds. Then 10. When you lose ten percent of your body weight you will feel so much better! Try cooking at home instead of going out to eat. Check out various websites like e diets, slim fast and weight watchers for more tips. Hon, I was there, and ive lost 5 pounds myself since a few weeks ago and im feeling alot better. Good luck to you! And remeber "a moment on the lips forever on the hips"
Re: preparations before a job problems
If you haven't danced in the last year in the NY/NJ area, you may be misinterpreting your friend's recommendation of a third tier club. Over the last year the economy in this area has gone downhill and lots of NJ boroughs have cracked down and/or closed down clubs, raising the level of competition. Perhaps your friend was just trying to point you in a direction where you CAN get hired and start earning the money you need, rather than getting the run-around from more upscale clubs.
My own advice would be to start working wherever you can in order to get into the swing of things again. Besides offering some immediate income, and providing some on-stage or on-lap automatic exercise, surrounding yourself with circumstances that constantly remind you that you want to improve will act as a big incentive for your dieting. You sound like you do have a good head on your shoulders, and you also have some healthy sized breast implants, so I'm sure that you'll do fine!
Re: preparations before a job problems
hi,
just a comment.. some of us guys love "full figure" women... but the dam club owners/managers won't hire them.. If i had the capital i'd open up a "full figure" club for guys like me..
but good luck girl....
Re: preparations before a job problems
Good lord mario99, it is so nice to hear that ;D A dancer friend of mine tried to quit smoking and gained 30 lbs. The club let her stay and she told me she is actually making more money now! She is the largest girl at the club by far and the customers just flock to her. I am also a large framed gal and the customers appreciate that. I think more clubs should cater to customers like you.
Re: preparations before a job problems
Now that is a great story!!!!! I love to hear that there is an assortment of ladies still kicking ass! It can be had. You make money, the club makes money, i don't care if you are beautiful and sit on your butt all night, you won't stay. You are slightly heavy or average looking, and make the $$...you stay. It's common sence. Pamela
Re: preparations before a job problems
Now that is a great story!!!!! I love to hear that there is an assortment of ladies still kicking ass! It can be had. You make money, the club makes money, i don't care if you are beautiful and sit on your butt all night, you won't stay. You are slightly heavy or average looking, and make the $$...you stay. It's common sence. Even in S.W. (stripper world.) Pamela
Re: preparations before a job problems
Purrrr...curvy women!!!! I am by far not thin, and when I frist started dancing I was a voluptous gal myself. I have lost 50 pounds. I can never be thin by our society's standards (then again, very few can). There were men who came solely to me because I was the largest woman in the club. And I still have men come to me because they like the fact that I am not stick thin.
Oh Mario....there needs to be more fine men out there like you. I love men who love curvy women.
Re: preparations before a job problems
I agree with Pamela. take a break and get yourself mentally ready to go, but when you do, walk in like you own the place! confidence is everything. just because you may not be physically what you were, does not mean you are still not beautiful. remember, all men have different tastes. what one man may find beauiful, another may find not attractive, and vice versa! good luck!!! Shawn
Re: preparations before a job problems
Quote:
A dancer friend of mine tried to quit smoking and gained 30 lbs.
30 pounds? *puff, puff* Oh, my, I didn't realize quitting could make you gain that much! *exhale*
Re: preparations before a job problems
riotgrrl
im not exactly miss skinny mini, but i try to clean, get on my computer, do something with my kid, or go for a walk when i want to munch out.
i also plan munchies...like when i go grocery shopping i cut my celery and carrots and put them in the fridge so they're there when i want to nosh....water water water...that alone will keep u full...flush out toxins and keep your skin clear,...keep a jug in the fridge and water bottles for on the go....start at a lower tier until u start losing weight and you'll feel so good about yourself, it will motivate u to keep going...
we're all here for u!!!!!!! we know u can do it