Has anyone here noticed...
I've noticed there are a lot of posts from customers wondering if a stripper is really into them or just doing her job. Although I cant speak for everyone... I know that very very extremely rarely has a dancer at MY club had a relationship with a customer... in fact, only ONE and she's a little kooky.
It makes me feel a little bad. This a message to all customers reading this who are questioning the motives of a dancer... DON'T give your heart away! Sure, it's probably exciting... but until they actually DO spend some time with you away from the club... don't assume anything.
I personally don't like it when girls start making promises as though they're really interested. I personally don't do it. It just creates stalkers and really hurts these guys. Now, I don't care too much about the ones at my club but the guys who post here are really sweet. Much love :-*
Re: Has anyone here noticed...
PS: I hope that post makes sense. It didn't come out exactly how I wanted it to.
Re: Has anyone here noticed...
good advice, Bella
I think if you have to ask if she really cares, there is probably no way you can tell except time and patience. if it's any consolation, women go through this ALL the time with men....trying to figure out what they are really feeling. Men are so simple and so complicated at the same time!
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Great insight ladies. Thanks! I for one don't got to the club looking for a date, but I have seen a lot of guys manipulated who may be somewhat naive. Part of it may be their fault, but I think part of it is the girl's fault for giving the guy a bunch of bs about wanting to meet him somewhere outside the club and then not showing up just to milk a few bucks from him. I think honesty is the best policy. If a guy likes you, most of the time, he is not going to bail because you are honest and don't intend to have anything other than customer / dancer relationship in the club.
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yeah, I know that but I still like to dream..... :-[,
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Emily, I LOVE your posts... you always have such great advce!! [kisses]
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Hmmm....so you've dashed all of my hopes!! :'(
Vixen, Vixen.....you're not like she sais you are.....are you?
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Bella
You are a sweetheart!
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yes you are...thanks Bella :)
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There's something about guys ~ even if there is only a small glimmer of hope of sex with someone (preferably a really attractive woman) then they've got to try.
That's the best defense I can think of.
I have to admit that I have told a lady or two: "If I get real drunk tonight I'm going to ask you out" and "If we go back to the VIP one more time I'm going to have to propose to you" But that's not really the same thing.
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It is kind of mean to lead people on. Making specific promises that you don't plan to keep is not cool. But, honesty would land my ass in the poorhouse. Guys don't want to buy me $20 drinks so we can discuss my BF. And a coy "we'll just have to see what happens" to the queries about whether I I'd ever hang out with a guy,...well that's a white lie (right?!) ;)
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I've noticed there are a lot of posts from customers wondering if a stripper is really into them or just doing her job.
THIS is why we say what we do is provide a fantasy. I know what a sore spot this is for some guys, but really, it IS just a fantasy. You pay, you play, you forget about it and walk away. Part of our job is to make the guys feel good, which in part involves making them feel like we are really into them, at least for a while.
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I don't think these guys really 'give their hearts away' -- or get hurt feelings over any of it. They're just trying to justify why they're spending so much at a club - that they're really in love or whatever. Anyway, I just say 'I don't know' and smile. I know they aren't paying me to get rejected.
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I think it's unfair to assume guys at strip clubs are necessarily looking for a date or trying to land a dancer.
Guy's incessant queries of "is it real" are mainly spurred by the desire to know if they are doing the right things or making the dancer's time at least somewhat enjoyable for both parties. From a guy's perspective, it is much more desireable to spend time with a dancer that is genuinely having a good time and enjoying the customer's company versus someone that is putting up an all-smiles front, false giggles and thinking the whole time "I can't wait until this dance is over."
Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule.. and will be as long as there are such wide variances in people. But for the most part, strip club regulars have the important things in perspective, but are still curious or pursue dancers that will genuinely like them in return, at least on a personal level. This makes it so as the time spent isn't simply enjoyable for one and a drudgery for the other. For most, the main goal is only to be on a dancers "top-5" list of guys they look forward to seeing inside the club. And not just for the tip amount, but for genuinely making their job enjoyable and their time go by quicker.
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The guys that can't handle it is one of the reasons
of communities closing down the old wild west saloon
companionship establishments. That and the end of legal public drinking at the end of World War I. (Prohibition.)
The guy in 1890 who thinks the saloon girl is his
girl, and then leaves for three months not realizing that
by necessity she has 18 to 19 other regulars while he is out on the range.
The trouble of course is that in 1890 the cowpoke is
probably very short tempered and also very heavily armed. This situation led to a lot of dead bodies and
was bad for business on main street.
Cycle ahead to "twenty ought three."
The nudity is no big deal. The women are starting to
come to the clubs themselves. What remains is the trouble of the guy thinking the dancer is "his girl."
My guess is that the guy who can't take it, who loses everything, who commits suicide, who stalks dancers, who comes back heavily armed is the most
serious long term negative affecting strip clubs remaining in business.
Whats healthy are the amount of posts questioning the dancer customer relationship and the guys who
take the time to background check and check the dancer out. It means they aren't totally taken in
and there is a reality check going on inside their head.
This type of guy is less likely to snap when the
so called relationship ends.
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....the guys who
take the time to background check and check the dancer out. ...
That would kind of blow the fantasy (and sounds like the beginning of stalking to me).
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OK....so you want to know if it's real or just an act? Just ask for her number and if you happen to be lucky enough to get her when you call.....consider that there may have been more than an interest in your wallet.
Works every time. ;D
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"Forwarned is forearmed."
This way it trully would be a fantasy without the downside of the affected heart.
Most of these stalker guys are guys heavy into the fantasy who can no longer distinguish the
reality from the fantasy.
Of course it might also end the gravy train early. For me it didn't. I still like her, we still communicate, she doesn't dance, but I am too far away to see her or even attempt to
see her. But now I understand why I couldn't visit her at her house, and then suddenly I could. Knowing the real situation was helpful to me... not just the fantasy.
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I don't ever go into a club looking for anything but a fun time for a couple of hours. And that's what usually happens. But every once in a while along comes a very special time, and you know what? If you go back and see her again it's almost never the same. Except for this one time ...