Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
well i have statted befor that i have dated dancers and i just ended up a relationship with a dancer
she was in a physically abusive emotionaly abusive traumatic relationship
i had known her for about yr or so before she finally left the relationship she was in and we started going out
long story short she has basicly gone back to the ex ..................
so ladies if your in a club in houston watch out i am spending cash like crazy getting dances LOL
reality check was when as i am in the club she works in and her co workers look at me and say honey she is a dancer dont trust US ....
yes i also belive that customers can become jaded to the bad side of the industry
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Well,
Its been a couple of weeks, and here is an update. She called last Saturday from her new club, and asked me to come down to feed her money. I politley declined. I said something about not having the money because my car broke down. Funny thing, it is the truth.
We small talked a little, I heard some commotin in the background, and she said she had to go and would call back.
No phone call.
Its Friday again, and she will be working tonight. We shall see if she calls again. My hunch is, she is learning that if you take the fantasy world and mix it with the real world, you run the risk of loosing your income. It's a good bet that fate has positioned me in her life to teach her that lesson.
For me, it is OK to fall in love with a fantasy, as long as you realize it's just that.
Now the question is, is fate trying to teach her, or me a lesson ?
So I sit on the fence, and watch and learn. By the way, it helps that I met a lady in the real world this week, and payed attention this time. No more missed oportunities, and I go on a real date tonight.
Here's a lesson. The 20 something hard bodies look real good, but the little round real ones can also look good, and feel good too. Mind - Body - and Soul. A real kiss beats an air kiss any day. [couple]
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Right on Big Gun! [clap]
But it's nice to experience those hard bodies occasionally! [cheerup]
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
From personal experience I can assure you there is another one around the corner waiting to take her place.....
Be careful out there......
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Big gun, you were just another customer to her. She doesn't want a guy your age, just your money and of course she will give you the most sexual dance she can so you will keep spending money on her.
NEVER FORGET THIS. KEEP YOUR AGE AND LOOKS IN MIND ALONG WITH HER AGE WHEN PONDERING IF A DANCER IS ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN YOU.A DANCER IN HER MIDDLE TO LATE 30'S WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER MATCH 'IF' SHE ACTED LIKE THIS:
A DANCER WHO IS INTERESTED IN YOU AFTER THE SECOND TIME IN THE CLUB WILL NOT TRY TO SELL YOU DANCES AGAIN AND WILL COME AND SIT WITH YOU WHEN IT IS SLOW, AND AS SOON AS SHE FEELS COMFORTABLE WITH YOU GIVE YOU HER REAL NAME AND GRADUALLY START TREATING YOU AS A POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND.
IF YOU ARE STILL BUYING DANCES FROM HER, YOU ARE JUST A 'TRICK'.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Quote:
IF YOU ARE STILL BUYING DANCES FROM HER, YOU ARE JUST A 'TRICK'.
Well, since it's okay to name-call how about this.
You're just a bitter, callous, foul-mouthed, egotistical, arrogant, belligerent, tired-decrepit archaic crone who's well past her expiration date!
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Wow, what in the world is that all about Naomi ?
O.K. The saga continues. She called again the other day. Wanted to see how I was doing. Another wrinkle in all this involves the chat board term 420. She has on occasion been my 420 provider. I thanked her for thinking about it and said yes. I also explained I was not interested in going to clubs any longer, and reminded her I would not be able to continue clubbing forever. I expressed that I would eventually find a committed relationship and intended to one day re-marry. I did not feel the club scene would be appropriate for me in that case. The time for change had come
A couple of days later, I met her and her 2 1/2 yr old daughter for lunch, where we would make the 420 exchange. That is the only $100.00 I have given her in a month, and I got something in return.
The day was nice. we had lunch, we walked in the park, we drove around town and she showed me all the places she had lived as a kid growing up. She showed me her current townhouse. We went to the local college, and I waited in the car with the baby, while she went in and registered for classes. We just spent her day off together, knocking around town and laughing our asses off, having a great time.
All in all we had a great day together in the real world. One thing I could not help notice was her registration info. The name on her paperwork indeed, was no surprise.
We be friends. We are 2 single people, both recovering from recently ended LTR. We seem to be healing one anothers Minds and Souls. It's best the Body not interrupt the process at this time, and if it is one day meant to be, it will be.
So ladies on the board. I'm sure you are all very beautiful woman. Does that interfere with your ability to have close platonic male friends ? It seems my story illustrates how difficult it is for a guy to remove the whole physical attraction thing from the friendship equation. Do you feel the stripper persona may have cost you rewarding friendships with men ?
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Big_Gun i have close relationships with men, but the first mistake would be to sleep with them, take money from them, or get seriously involved with anyone i met at work (strip club).
Platonic, is not having sex. And two adults having a good time with each others company. If you want more from her, tell her. Stop giving money to her. A big no-no. And do not hit the club.
If she wants a friend/partner, she will let you know. But don't get used up.
Age does not matter when two people are on the same level. I am 33 and my ex is ALOT younger than me. We just can't seem to quit each other. And we do respect each other. Still.
Good luck,
Pamela
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Quote:
Wow, what in the world is that all about Naomi ?
I have no idea. I thought she was out of line too and I'm quick to defend someone I like. You posted nothing that deserved that.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Thanks Leigh, I get carried away when I see someone hurt a nice person; need to be lassoed in occasionally. I do feel that Tina's remarks were hurtful.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Naomi, Fuck You!!!!!
I merely told Big Gun that a dancer like that just sees him as money and not as a romantic partner.
Why are you being such a bitch???
You understand that trick means a customer to profit from.
I was just telling him how to protect himself from being taken in any club.
YOU ARE FUCKING OUT OF LINE BITCH. WHY ARE YOU SO BITTER. WHY CAN'T FUCKING DANCERS JUST GET ALONG AND STOP BLASTING EACH OTHER????????
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
I dunno...a lot of girls go for older guys. I don't think age is a factor. Depending on the girl, looks might not matter either, but a guy does have to seriously look at what he has to bring to the table if he's pursuing a dancer. Also, if she's talking to you when it's slow, it doesn't mean anything either. Maybe it's just better than being upstairs snacking. Real name doesn't matter. I freely give out my real name...which is Emily, btw (my dancer name is different)
As dancers, we meet a lot of guys in the club. it's possible there might be some interst on our part.
But I agree with Tina, that if she is trying to take your money, she is not sincere. I also agree with Naomi that Tina's way of saying it was a little crass.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Quote:
Naomi, Fuck You!!!!!
You understand that trick means a customer to profit from.
I know what it means and it's a crude derogatory term. You don't see the guys here calling us hoes! A trick is a prostitutes customer, if it's okay for you to make the comparison than, in your eyes we're hoes! If some guy were to call us hookers than you know he'd get ripped apart with no tactful K-Y.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Trick is a term dancers use all the time to refer to a guy who is easy money and you all know that is true.
It really troubles me when dancers are so quick to argue and pick fights with one another.
Many guys fall for a pretty face in a club and you all know that. Where do you think the term regular comes from? And how many dancers hit regulars up for money, meet them for lunch merely for the purpose of getting the guy to take them shopping and then once the guy realizes a relationship is not going to develop fades away sad and bitter?
I was merely being honest with Big Gun and warning him to not let his heart take over his wallet in a club.
I was not harsh, merely telling it like it is and any other person familiar with the club world male or female would say the same thing and some have already on this post.
If she is interested in him romantically she won't ask him for any more money. Period.
Every night every one of us takes money from guys who want a relationship with us and we know it is not going to happen. Is there anything wrong with warning a guy who is troubled about what is going on what this business is all about?
I never called anyone any names on this board and will not accept someone directing malice towards me.
Big Gun I hope you understand where I was coming from. I didn't want to see you get taken advantage of.
Naomi, I never had any ill feelings towards you before, but you posted what you felt and I have ill feelings towards you now.
Before any of you say a person is too harsh try giving someone the benefit of the doubt first. And being a dancer myself I will say that non dancer women are more likely to do that than dancers.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Thank you all. I honestly thought I would get ripped for admitting to the 420. Instead you seem to be ripping one another, A situation I never anticipated.
Tina, I appreciate your honesty. Your post to me was in no way offensive. I understand all of the meaning in what you wrote.
Naomi, Thank You for your words of support. Your posts have contained some heartwarming comments.
Juliette, I was in the park yesterday with my friend, and her hair was in a pony tail, and I noticed a light a dab of gloss. You were so on it.
Emily, Pamela, Leigh thank you for kind comments and compasion.
You ladies are wonderful ambasadors for your fine proffesion.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Whoa, I left this thread a couple of weeks ago after saying my piece and I wasn't paying much attention to it. I guess it's become a soap opera: "The Edge of BIG_GUN", "The days of our BIG_GUN"...lol. I'm sure PJ could come up with a better name. Where all the watchers of the show have become emotionally involved in it, due to their own experiences.
I guess you can see that everyone at least had the common goal of supporting him. On this we agree.
BG, it looks like you may have re-directed the whole thing into a more normal direction. Good luck.
-Sad-
;D
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
I have not seen my entertainer friend for 2 months now. I miss her very much, but I have entered into a wonderful and rewarding relationship with a woman consistent of my age and background. I broke ties with my beloved ATF, and am in a major quandary how I ever got in to that situation to begin with. It seems I have been living in a bubble all my life, and this was my first exposure, at age 45, to the real world. Let me share with you excerpts from our final evening together. Let me add that I would hate to be in her mother’s shoes at this time.
She told me stories of waking up in her apartment in the middle of the day, with a note taped to her chest and no idea how she got there, “Thanks for the burger, your car is at (un-named pool hall)”, and immediately wondering where her baby was, only to remember she dropped her off at her mothers house before her last shift, 2 days before. Another story of waking up in some guys house, unable to remember how she got there, but seeing guns and fearing the people around her, only to find out later, after her escape, that a missing persons report had been filed by her family after she had been missing for the past 24 hours. She told me that she woke up laying on a lawn near her club, wearing a short dress and see through panties, with her legs spread, and 6 men standing in a group in front of her in the middle of the night. She blamed all of these incidents on her Ex-boyfriend, her babies father, because when she fights with him, she flips out and drinks hard liquor, causing her to black out. These are signs of alcoholism. She in fact, displays symptoms of addict, whether it’s Alcohol, Crank, Pot, Crystal meth, Cocaine, Nicotine, Caffeine, she is addicted to all of it. This is a beautiful and very sharp young woman. When sober, she has a lot to offer. Her mind is quick, she has incredible recall. She could do quite well in college. She has more potential than I ever did or will.
These are things I cannot understand or relate to. They terrify me. She mentioned that some of the girls at her club, just sit and read a book while on break or between acts. She referred to them as Church girls. Can you imagine, church girls working in a strip club. She was blaming her behavior on the nature of her job. Drugs and alcohol are so prevalent in the back room. I want to hear from the club owners, D.J’s and bouncers, on this topic. Why is this tolerated by employees of your clubs? No other job that I am aware of, will allow this behavior in their place of business.
She blames her boyfriend and her job for her self destructive behavior. I know she needs to be rescued, an intervention would be recommended, but that is an issue for her family to ponder. I had no idea it was to this level. I simply do not have the resources or the wherewithal to handle this type of situation.
I keep my fingers crossed and pray that I do not open my morning paper one day and read that a local stripper’s body was found in a ditch. I fear that scenario is all too close to reality in this case.
It seems my past confusion was well founded. It was protecting me from certain pain and anguish. I would like to share with all of you a link I found, that seemed poignant. It’s an interesting article and I would be curious to hear some of the ladies comments. .
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
WOW! THAT YOUNG LADY NEEDS SO MUCH HELP! :'( Thank God you got the hell out of there! As for that article , I have known a few women like that. For the most part the dancers i know are decent ladies who are trying to feed their kids and make the rent. I would have myself locked up if I ever woke up somewhere and didn't know how I got there. Her poor little child. Her poor everyone! I was really hoping when i reached the last post on this , that it would be a happy beginning to very hard start. :'(
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
If you are having fun why change things.
Why not just live in the now.
Maybe she has a man.Who cares?Go get a girl.
Can't this just be something for the two of you.
something just on the side.
Are you having fun?Do you enjoy yourself?
Maybe she will fuck you someday, maybe not.
Like I said get a girlfriend for when you two can't be together.and just leave this alone.
Re: Lookin for love... In all the wrong places
Ok so I should of read more than the first few post.
It changes thing as you get into detail.
She needs a friend.
I bet she has never had one.because she never had a real one.she may not know how to deal with it.
she could end up treating you badly,because she thinks you are the one being fake.
stop thinking romanticly and be a friend.
Get her into rehab and therapy.help with the kid.
you may make friends with her mother and child.
be something stable in all their lives.
When she isn't messed up.than you can think about moveing on.
If this is too much work.then you don't love her.
If you just want to fuck her stop BS yourself and move on