Where is the best place to meet a dancer in Chicago, other than at her work?
Where do you guys hang out?
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Where is the best place to meet a dancer in Chicago, other than at her work?
Where do you guys hang out?
I have heard jillys or gillys however you spell it is popular with all the hot twenty and thirty something crowd and its nice and upscale.
I'm not from Chicago and I never actually tried to meet the ladies but by coincidence I noticed on a couple of occasions that whatever the nearest breakfast diner that is open after the the club closes the ladies sometime gather there.
Meeting a dancer outside of work would seem to be kind of touchy thing I would presume. Especially if it's one you have seen before and may recognize you. You'll probably come off looking more like a stalker then just a guy who wants to hang out and have some innocent fun. But this is just my humble opinion.
BB
guess what....good places to find us are the mall, the supermarket, the restaurants, salons, etc.
Don't seek us out because we're dancers. We generally hate that. Any guy that has a thing for a girl because of what she does for a living is totally missing the point. We want to be loved for all who we are when we're not being our fake selves.
If a guy has a thing for dancers, it makes me think he's got this ideal of a hyper-sexual, non-complaining, well-groomed, cash machine. Everything I'm not...*burp*
I don't know that it should be wrong to want and date a dancer simply because she is a dancer.
I have known women who want to date lawyers because they are lawyers or doctors because they are doctors (and unlike us lawyers they can prescribe drugs!).
I have, in the past, sought to date artists and writers simply for the experience. So this doesn't seem like a bad thing to want.
It is bad to the dancer. When we are at work we are not ourselves, and if you are wanting the dancer, you don't want the person.....women don't like that. To us, it is worse for you to try to chase dancers outside of work than at work - we know we have to deal with that crap at work, but when we're off, the last thing we want is some dude following us around trying to get 'in'.
BB is right that alot of girls go to the nearest late-night restaurant after work, so you'd be likely to spot some dancers in those places. Word of advice, if you go to a late-night eatery and spot some dancers, DO NOT approach them saying anything about them being dancers. Talk to them like you would anyone else. They will likely be on the defense, having just come from work, but you might have a chance if you don't act like an ass.
Why exactly do you want to date a dancer?
A persons job should have nothing to do with why you want to date them. It's just a job. And yes I think it's wrong for a girl to want to date a guy because he's a doctor, lawyer, ect. That usually means they think they'll get something. Free advice, medicine, money, nice dinners. Maybe you want a stripper because you want lots of sex. Bottom line is dating some because you want something from them is wrong. You should date someone because you like them. Their career should not matter to you.
I'd suggest not to bother even getting near dancers, no matter if you don't bring up the subject of their trade. No matter how many times they smother their breasts in your face, 99.9% of the time they DON'T want your off hours company. [nono]
Now don't get me wrong. I would not date a dancer expecting to do the motor boat nor would I a person who is in life what they appear to be on stage or at work.
I think that I am interested in getting to know, on a more personal level, the type of person who is able to become that person on stage or in the club. Much like I have enjoyed dating women in all sorts of professions. (I doubt that any dancer would ever be a killer in the sack like a nice repressed Catholic school teacher).
Most people claim not to "be what they do." I find that the opposite is more often true.
What you do, if you do it well, must color who you are and your choice of employment is a very clear reflection of who you are in your heart of hearts.
It isn't about the sex. It surely isn't about trying to get for free what I would pay for in a club. It is simply a new experience that sounds interesting. But, as I have often been in the past, I may be wrong.
TrixieFL, well said !!!
In society we are almost groomed by our parent's to be successful, do as good or better then they did. They look at us as babies and try to picture us as doctor's, lawyer's, football player's ect. because they want us to have it better then they did. Women where raised with the traditional values that they should want a man that is successful and that they should be popular and beautiful and strive for the attention of successful suitor's. This of coarse was the rule of a more traditional time, women of today are far more independent then they where just 20 year's ago.
I guess the first question I would have is why exactly you categorically feel a dancer is your quest for a life of happiness? There is generally a huge contrast to who a dancer is inside the club where you meet her and outside the club, both socially and sexually.
I once posted here that if you want to date a dancer so bad then find a cutie at McDonald's that hate's her job and the fact that she can't make it on what she earn's and talk her into dancing for a living. That is usually who a dancer is to start with anyway's.
Thats why I suggested jillys because all types of people frequent this establishment ,not just dancers(actually probably only a small fraction are dancers) but this is were the sophisticated twenty and thirty somethings go, and if you have the class and intelligence to fit in w/ this crowd he or you just might meet who you want.
"I guess the first question I would have is why exactly you categorically feel a dancer is your quest for a life of happiness? "
I never said that was my goal or expectation.
I guess the bottom line, in plain English, is:
What is wrong with wanting to date a stripper?
Nobody can tell me that isn't cool. (And I mean that as a compliment and nothing else).
I think what everyone is trying to simply say is it's wrong for wanting date someone just because they are a stripper. What's the reasoning there? We're all very different people - stripping doesn't define who we are. TrixieFL said it best,
If you find a girl you like and she happens to be a stripper, great. But seeking out just any old girl because of her profession - and only for that reason -sounds a bit wrong to me.Quote:
You should date someone because you like them. Their career should not matter to you.
And if you are going to pursue this, definitely take a tip from Bridgette:
As dancers, we tend to have an extreme aversion to stereotypes.Quote:
DO NOT approach them saying anything about them being dancers. Talk to them like you would anyone else.
[quote]
Let's say you actually did meet a stripper and started dating her. How do you think she would feel if she found out the only reason you asked her out was because of her stripping?
We are people too you know, with feelings and emotions. Like all women we want to be wanted for the person we are, which is rarely anything like the person we pretend to be at work.
Trying to date a stripper for the sake of dating a stripper is a bad idea. We are not novelty items.
OK. You guys win. I'll never try and date a dancer. (By the way I am totally lying ;))
You are missing the point. Thre is nothing wrong with dating a dancer. There is something wrong with dating a girl because she is a dancer.
But if you want to go for it, by all means, give it a shot. We're just trying to warn you why you'll be shot down. Remember, unlike writers and lawyers and doctors, we're used to shooting guys down.....even moreso when we're off the clock and we don't have to pretend to like you.
Just get lap dances like everyone else and buy your fake stripper love!
If I found out someone wanted to date me just because I was a stripper, I would think that was really shallow and avoid them like the plauge. :-/ Dancers want to be appreciated when we are just "Susan", "Jenny" and "Cathy" off the job. :)
I think it was F. Scott Fitzgeralnd who said, "Don't marry for money...Go where the money is and marry for love."
It's likely the same thing here...I don't see any need to jump all over the guy because he wants to know where he stands a good chance to meet dancers working on the assumption that the average dancer is probably prettier than the average woman. Similarly, I wouldn't be surprised if dancers were pleased to see businessmen come into their club because the average businessman is more likely to spend $$$ than the average other customer.
Of course, it COULD be and CG's posts do imply that there's more to it...some kind of attitude towards sex which goes with the job. In that case, CG, you may be making assumptions that aren't borne out...
Oh Lordy. You simply cannot compare the two. One is real life. One is business. We (I guess I'm speaking for the the group here) and not jumping all over him. I am just tired of guys approaching me because I'm a dancer. It's like a guy can be totally normal until he finds out you're a dancer and it's like the creepo mode comes out. I'm always apprehensive about telling guys I'm a dancer. It's not because I'm embarrassed, but because I am afraid of how they will totally assume things about me that aren't true. I'm a human being. I'm not my job. I'm not merely a pretty girl. Don't reduce me to such because it totally ignores everything that makes me who I am, and I don't like that.Quote:
It's likely the same thing here...I don't see any need to jump all over the guy because he wants to know where he stands a good chance to meet dancers working on the assumption that the average dancer is probably prettier than the average woman. Similarly, I wouldn't be surprised if dancers were pleased to see businessmen come into their club because the average businessman is more likely to spend $$$ than the average other customer.
And yes, I seek out business men. They spend more money. Don't you work for money?
Sorry about the way I'm writing this. This is built-up frustration from many men who see me for the superficial dancer side and it really makes me feel like a piece of meat. I like to think I'm more than that!
Nikki Giovanni said:
its a sex object if you're pretty and no love
or love and no sex if you're fat
'Woman Poem' 1970
I think it is a bit hypocritcal for a dancer to object, on a personal level, if a man is attracted to you because of your profession when without the natural attraction of men to your profession, you would be doing something else.
Of course each person is an individual.
A teacher or nurse can be a whore and a whore can be a saint. (not equating a stripper to whore).
If I said, "I really dig redheads and I am going to try and find one because that would really turn me on." I don't think people would find that odd or objectionable. That is simply an objective criteria for my attraction.
How is wanting to date a stripper any different?
When I was in France I wanted to go out with French girls, which was great.
When I am in a strip club I want to go out with a stripper.
I can just feel a lot of angry responses coming my way now!
Quote:
Now don't get me wrong. I would not date a dancer expecting to do the motor boat nor would I a person who is in life what they appear to be on stage or at work.
I think that I am interested in getting to know, on a more personal level, the type of person who is able to become that person on stage or in the club. Much like I have enjoyed dating women in all sorts of professions. (I doubt that any dancer would ever be a killer in the sack like a nice repressed Catholic school teacher).
Most people claim not to "be what they do." I find that the opposite is more often true.
What you do, if you do it well, must color who you are and your choice of employment is a very clear reflection of who you are in your heart of hearts.
It isn't about the sex. It surely isn't about trying to get for free what I would pay for in a club. It is simply a new experience that sounds interesting. But, as I have often been in the past, I may be wrong.
Maybe it's me but that highlighted statement is a little suspect. Millions of people take full and especially part-time jobs that have nothing or very little to do with their personalities simply for monetary reasons. People do it to help achieve a specific goal or to simply help make ends meet. Thanks
BB
Ok so what to you makes a dancer different than other women, besides her job?? All you know about dancers you probly learned from being in clubs with them, well usually thats fake. A dancer may tell you she loves to have hours of hot sex everynight. But in reality she might be so exhausted for working all night she just wants to put on sweatpants and relax. I have a lot of married customers. I tell them things like, I think you should be able to be in a relationship and still come in and play with other girls. Variety is the spice of life. But really I'm not a swinger, I'm not bi. When I'm not at work putting on a show, I'm just like every other girl who isn't a dancer. Dancers are there to be your fantasy, we want to be all about passion and sexual and playful. But dating us outside the club we act just like most girlfriends. Also being atracted to a redhead is different then wanted someone because of their job.
I'm with Tigerlily... Why??
One last time, and then I give up....
"I think it is a bit hypocritcal for a dancer to object, on a personal level, if a man is attracted to you because of your profession when without the natural attraction of men to your profession, you would be doing something else."
It's our JOB! When we are at work and you are paying us money, we are completely okay with you liking us for being a stripper. This seems to be a major point that you do not seem to understand, which makes me wonder if you think there is a difference between who we are at work and who we are outside of work. I am not my job. I dance because I love the money and flexibility, not because I love men hitting on me. If I could make the same money without the hitting on, I'd love it even more.
"If I said, "I really dig redheads and I am going to try and find one because that would really turn me on." I don't think people would find that odd or objectionable. That is simply an objective criteria for my attraction. "
that's a phsyical attribute, not a profession. Do you really not see how this is different? If you find me sexually attractive because of my hair, it's superficial, sure, but it's a lot different than someone who likes me for my FAKE persona.
"When I was in France I wanted to go out with French girls, which was great.
When I am in a strip club I want to go out with a stripper. "
The difference is French girls are French 24/7.
I think the main point you do not seem to understand is that it's just a job. Let me repeat that incase you were not paying attention. It's just a job.
"I can just feel a lot of angry responses coming my way now!"
So are you trying to stir up girls or what?
If you want to date a dancer, go try. I think you will find that with the way you're going about it, one of you will be very disappointed with the other. Enjoy.
I've wasted enough time trying to say it, but one more time....it's just a job.