a question for the ladies, Would you want to know?
Say you have a regular customer for whom you really enjoy dancing, you even look forward to his next visit. He respects and treats you like a person and a lady, not a "dancer". He also spends time with a couple of other dancers. You ask why and his reason is because he has known them for a long time and are basically friends. The reason is partially true, but more so that by spending time with them it keeps everything in perspective for him, as in this is fantasy and entertainment. Now, your customer is beginning to realize that (where you are concerned) for him the line is becoming fuzzy and his heart is beginning to weigh in. He is beginning to fall head over heels for you! His feelings are not for you as a dancer but as the person that you are. He has realized that he needs to take a break from the club to get his head back in the game and heart back in place. Had you rather he kept this to himself and you wonder where he is and what happened, Or him tell you no matter how awkward it may be for either of you?
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
hmmmm....it would probably be better u kept this to yourself....because as u put it ...it is a fantasy and the girl u love in the club my not be the same person at home or outside the club...and i just might creep her out...
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
Ok so I'm not a lady, but I've been around a few.
First unanswered question ..... how much do you spend on her ?
Second question, to what extent is your relationship with her?
Without having to answer them outright you can try this on for size. Girl's don't like to share RIL's they consider it cheating especially one's that patronize them exclusively at first, to them it look's like you are trying to make them jealous. As for the rest I would be given the assumeption that this girl "give's good fantasy". To assume anything more then that would probably be tragic on your part.
I may be wrong, but good luck with it anyway's
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
Don't tell her you think you're falling for her, just tell her you need to take a break from clubbing for a while. This way she won't be left wondering and no one has to feel uncomfortable about your real reasons. If you tell her the truth, not only could it weird her out, but if she's a little unscrupulous, she might decide to use it to her advantage. Leave it alone. For now she is doing a good job and that's that.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
Quote:
His feelings are not for you as a dancer but as the person that you are.
How do you know? I swear, guys are always trying to give me this line, and I cheerfully let them think that they are seeing the "real me", but the real me isn't all nice and sweet. When you interact with me and you are paying money to do so, you'll see all the good and none of the bad (or at least very little of it).
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
Tell me i would understand, and hope to see you again some day. The last thing i would have ever wanted was a customer falling for me. If he tells me feelings are coming in to play, i would like to know. Otherwise i wonder what happened. Back off for awhile, and maybe come back, we can have our fun inside the club. It's a job for me, and i can't worry about guys falling in love/lust. But it would be nice to know, so i may have to tame the flirting down some as well to help out.
Pamela
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
I'm totally not a girl, and in fact I have never been to a club. So you can ignore me if you want.
In my opnion, you have to tell the girl if you honestly do love her. How can you deny your feelings of love, which is about as strong as feelings get? Maybe she is also starting to fall in love with you. I would think if it's real love that it might very well be mutual.
I know it's a risk. But you can't gain anything without taking risks. And you have a lot to gain if it's the real thing.
Of course if it's only a crush, and you just like her cause she's hot and nice to you or something, and you are not serious about being in love with her, then you should not do it. You are the only one that knows if this is real.
Just my thoughts.
Tyler.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
Haha, Tyler that was a very cute and naive response. ;)
I don't recommend telling her this. If she had any feelings for you she would be seeing you outside the club, on a non-paying basis. Take it for what it is, she is just very good at her job. Take time away if you need to, to get your feelings in check. You really don't owe an explanation to anybody.
Be careful, if a customer tells a dancer he is falling for her, to me that means that I'm doing a damn good job and should start asking for more money.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
Well that's exactly why I keep things light.I try not to have regulars.I don't want to hurt anyone and I make that clear.I do'nt get jealous,in fact I either tell the customer I'm gay,or I tell them about this great chic they gotta meet(she'd be perfect for him).I'm not greedy and I know there are other new guys to entertain.If a guy becomes a regular it's a problem ready to happen.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
It makes me feel real akward and I usually blow them off.....Sorry :( Just being honest
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
In the best case scenario, she would expect more money from you because you love her. If you have exchanged a lot of services for a lot of money, then you aren't really more than a client. This is what it comes down to. She is actually more likely to ignore you if you aren't paying her more.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
I was a RIL in the past so I can totally relate to this thread. Its soooo easy to fall for a dancer and talk yourself into thinking that its not the money its my stellar looks and magnetic personality LOL Forget that Im 20 yrs older than you with absolutely nothing in common.
I'm sure many dancers, just cruisin along doin their jobs, wonder "..what the hell did I do??? Why isnt this guy just happy to enjoy my dances? " The answer is, you didnt do anything. Guys just respond to hot women and it doesnt take much to get the mental fantasy juicies flowing.
My SC lessons cost me over $20,000 and a lot of sleepless nights before I figured things out. I'm happy that I can now go in a SC, enjoy the entertainment for what it is, and go home.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
You cannot control the way you feel. Human nature can be a bitch sometimes.
I feel uncomfortable when a customer announces his emotional attachment to me; but, don't feel bad (if possible) it takes a cold, hardened heart to remain completely unattached with a person with whom you've spent a lot of time talking and getting to know.
It can be unnerving to see yourself through anothers eyes, almost every guy I've dated tells people that I'm cold and unemotional. Of course, I don't feel that I am; however, I do wish I were more like my girl friends who stay in love with one guy in spite his annoying traits.
A bit off topic, my point is, even if it makes things awkward be thankful that you're capable of emotional attachment.
Re: a question for the ladies, Would you want to k
No, I would not want to know. I hate it when customers ask me how I feel about practically anything - how I like working as a dancer, if I ever get turned on, etc. Asking me how I feel about them is an absolute no-no. I once had a regular customer ask me if I would be attracted to him if I were single. Ack! I have had a few guys tell me they love me. Only saying they were obsessed with me could have been worse. Occasionally, if someone is a really good customer and I can actually stand to be around him, I will agree to have lunch with him. I only do this out of a feeling of obligation, or perhaps as a "reward" for him being a good customer. I never have intentions of becoming friends with them. No, no, no I would not want to hear it. I would much rather just see the guy dancing with someone else or not coming into the club at all. Some kind of explanation or excuse would be just fine, even if it was a lie (I'm trying to save my money, my wife found out I was coming here so I have to lay low, etc.) but NOT "I have feelings for you." I speak only for myself here, but it would be very awkward for me and I would just not want to deal with something like that at all. In fact, it might possibly scare me and/or creep me out.