Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
I have a question for you (as the topic alludes to...):
Is it OK for us customers to drop the fantasy charade and just be 'real people' while at the club? I'm not talking about the dating outside the club thing, but more along the lines of not wanting to play the head games that go along with being a customer. If I just want to chat with someone without getting the 'I'm single, my sometimes-girlfriend and I are just looking to have some fun, I could really use a drink, big-guy' routine, is there a way to politely say "Hey, I know the score, I'm just looking to chat like a human being" during your time with a dancer.
I understand full well that it's a job and you need to be paid for your time. No problem, I'm one of those people who I guess doesn't need the 'fantasy' to enjoy myself at a club. I KNOW you aren't going to come home with me, no matter what I say. I'm pretty sure you're just looking for my money, and MAYBE you're actually a 'people person' who likes chatting with customers (while dancing or otherwise). I just wish that the phony charade wasn't there. When I go to a club, I dress nice (sports coat, dress slacks, nice shoes, showered etc...), I treat the women with respect, and like PEOPLE, not stripper/whores who 'don't have any feelings and are just out for your money'. I always give the dancers my attention when they approach me, even if I'm not ready to buy a dance (I never say 'NO' -- I say 'not right now, but thanks for asking me, I apprecaite it.), I offer you a drink when you do decide to sit for a few minutes, and I do tip every single girl at the rail (something that seems to be going by the wayside these days). All I am wondering is if it's ok to try and be personable, or do you really not want to be that way with the customers?
I've read several ladies say that they hate men (I'm sorry that you've got that impression, but we're not ALL bad...), and that they try not to think of the customers as anything but dollar bills waiting to be separated from their wallets. I was hoping to be the customer who can just enjoy his time at the club and not feel like I'm a pidgeon. Any feedback?
Thanks for your responses!
Call me ][shmael
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Quote:
But if we want the girl just to talk to us without being paid, that's not fair. It's like if someone came to your place of work and said, hey, sit down and let's chat for a while. But you're not gonna get paid.
I absolutely understand that the women are there to make a living, and I don't expect them to spend more then a minute or two 'chatting' without getting paid. I'm not looking for someone to talk with at a strip club...I can do that anywhere. What I'm asking is if it's ok to turn of the routine and just be real people while you are there. Yep, you're right, we're there to enjoy the company of beautiful women. I just want to do so without the accompanying head game, that's all.
][sh
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Hi Ish,
Of course, most of us are "people people" and if you want to be real, be real. Most girls will pick up on it and keep it that way.
Lena
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Depending on the club, I don't see any reason not to be a real person, as long as you don't give too many clues as to who you are. I mean, it's like when you go to the bank to apply for a loan, you can be friendly but not TOO friendly with the loan officer, or when you go to the pharmacy and be friendly but not TOO friendly with the pharmacist.
At some of the clubs I've been to I don't even volunteer and give out info as to who I am because of that club's particular reputation, specially among law enforcement, even if you don't participate in illegal activities and just do the usual strip club client's activities. At Divas in San Juan it's OK, because it's practically the only "clean" club that I know of. Of course, it's very important to realize there are boundaries when being with a dancer, just like there are boundaries when dealing with the loan officer or the pharmacist.
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Ya know, people come into clubs being who ever they want to be. Some say they are doctors, when they may be stock boys. (Yep some of our doctors look young these days). I don't care. I don't need for a guy to get all personal with me, actually it puts a damper on me. Too much info. I keep my talk to a minimum about myself.
Be who you want in the clubs, it's a fantasy world inside the doors! Keeping it real outside the doors is what really matters. :)
YES BEAVIS...YOUR BACK, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET MARRIED ??
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
I am not a good "bull shitter", so if I've made my rounds and have some free time, I prefer to sit alone than to sit with someone who wants to "shoot the shit". ::) If a guy wants to keep it real and can offer me intelligent conversation, I will sit with him until my next set (on stage) and.....oh my gosh, should I say it...... :onot even expect to get paid!!! :o Guys tend to appreciate that I treat them like a "person" and not as a "customer". These guys will usually tip me all night long or even get a dance, even if I don't get a chance to sit with them again.
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
i pretty much always keep it real. Sometimes I may pretend to really be interested in something they are saying when I have no F-ing clue what they just said but for the most part, people can read me really well and wehn I am bored or whatever, they know it. I just have never been able to be something I am not. I think I would like a customer like you ISh. Especailly if it was slow and you would pay me to sit and BS. That would be tops!
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Hey Ish
I'm right there with you. I'd rather sit with a girl who's moody and who has real feelings rather than someone whos totally fake and transparent just to get business.
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
From my perspective, I've got to say that it's more fun for me to have an intelligent conversation with a girl at the club. I'm not saying I need to have a PERSONAL conversation with her, just a real one.
I've had girls tell me that they were 24 years old and already millionaires from dancing, and they just needed a little bit more money to buy that apartment complex they wanted to invest in. I've had girls say that they were investing all this money they are making now, and that their parents are paying their way through college, so that when they are done, they can retire at 30. ...and so-on and so-on...
The point is, I'd rather talk about the news, or what classes you are taking in school (if you are in school) or what interests you in your off time (like hobbies, outdoor activities, etc). After all, I know what the scoop is, and you know what the scoop is, so why bother with the make-believe aspect of it. I guess there are some guys who get off on the idea that you are just so-close to being obtainable to them. If it works for them, so be it.
Just one guys' opinion.
Call me ][shmael
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Well, fella, ya gotta remember what we're selling is "fantasy". If you want to drop that and just play, "Hey, I'm single and I'd like to chat for free with a cute, half-naked girl for a while....." you're kinda wasting everyone's time.
Sorta like going into McDonalds and saying, ,"Look, I really don't want a hamburger, but I was wondering if I could borrow your grill and cook myself a steak and then sit at one of your tables and eat it?"
If you want friendly chat with a cute girl in the environs of a strip club, then get a DATE with a girl and take her to a strip club. As for us (or, for that matter, hiring an escort to go with you to a strip club for the night), we DON'T like to drop the "stripper" persona for very legitimate security reasons.
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Ish -
Just remember that there are all types of women who are dancers, just like in any other facet of life. Its always a good bet that there are a few dancers who don't sell the fantasy stuff that hard, and are willing and even a bit desirous to have an intelligent chat about anything for a little bit. You talk to and tip the ones who do, and merely tip the ones who don't. Some girls like to shoot the breeze, some don't. That's generally one of the best things about a SC - there is likely someone for everyone.
Personally, none of the fantasy stuff works for me. I have no problem ever with the concept of it, or with customers and dancers who buy into it. It is essentially the main purpose of SC's. It makes dancers money, and it gives a majority of the patrons a pleasurable experience. However, its just not me. I don't engage in fantasy or sexual talk. I don't think a girl who whispers in my ear will "rock my world" etc etc. I prefer a little more real, down to earth interaction (but not prying or personal). I just connect better that way, so I tend to spend more time with dancers who are the same way. But I never go into a club thinking that "Gosh, I really need an intelligent conversation". If it happens, great. If it doesn't, my experience is in no way less fulfilling. I still tip well the ones who play the fantasy role.
Sometimes it will surprise you. Two days ago I went to one of my favorite haunts, and there were a few new dancers. One had a rather elaborate tattoo on her upper arm that had the words "So It Goes". When she came to me all hot and sexy-like, asking me to have a dance, I commented on her tattoo.. and the fact that the words come from Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five". She was so surprised that a customer finally recognized it that we talked for about 10 minutes about other Vonnegut works we had read. She changed from fantasy dancer to "book reading" person. It was cool. Did she eventually make money off me? You bet!
My final advice? Just be a real person yourself, and the dancers who are more comfortable in being more real themselves will find you. And remember to not look down on dancers who aren't. Even though they have fantasy personas in the club, they still are real human beings who are just doing their jobs.
PJ
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Quote:
Well, fella, ya gotta remember what we're selling is "fantasy". If you want to drop that and just play, "Hey, I'm single and I'd like to chat for free with a cute, half-naked girl for a while....." you're kinda wasting everyone's time.
Listen, Missy, I think you're missing my point :P
I never EVER implied that I was looking for a free conversation with a cute girl. Quite the contrary. When I attend a club, I am sure to bring PLENTY of cash with me. I KNOW that I am there to spend money. Some guys spend their money on golf, some on video games, I spend mine on dancers.
The question I was asking was if it's ok to drop the 'Hey Baby" stuff and just interact like regular humans. I KNOW you have security concerns, and I am not about to ask you for your home address or phone number. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that it'll be a cold day in Hell before a dancer decides that she's just gotta come home with me. All I wanted to know is if it was OK to treat the dancers as people instead of objects, and if the dancers prefer to do likewise, or does it help them make the night go by faster, etc.
Call me ][shmael
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Wow,, Ish,, if I read u correctly, I am not sure where u are going, but I am glad to say I have never had any of these "fantasy" type conversations ever. I go in like u said with spending money in mind, and from there I will usually connect with a girl and spend lots of time and money on her. Actually I am surprised many times by the connection we seem to make as if it is a date or something. I just went to a club met a new girl and once again as I have done in the past ended up massaging her feet and back and when I left she was whispering her phone number..... I guess I have been very lucky to have met all these very real, and awesome girls. But as someone else here said, you get what u give too, and I am a lousy game player, I always keep it 100% real.
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Okay, first post here; I'm a refugee from another board (Yes, the Exotic Dancer Page.)
That being said, there are all kinds of clubs and all kinds of girls working in them. Some prefer to keep the dancer mystique up, others will quite willingly sit down and talk about anything under the sun. Depends on the girl, the guy and the situation. :) Myself, I love long conversations with scantily clad young women. There is one girl in my local club who gets a drink (or two or three) every time I go, simply because she told me she was a history major and was able to hold an incredible conversation with me regarding Central European History.
So, how do you know if it's okay to be "real?" Umm, ask the girl, silly. I've made some good friends that way, and actually enjoy the company of some girls outside the clubs. (And, no, I mean as friends.)
So just ask the girl. My rule of thumb is give them five minutes to introduce themselves, and if they appeal to you at all, offer to buy them a drink in exchange for a real conversation.
Regular Customer
Re: Is it OK to 'break' the fantasy barrier?
Be real. We'll get along a whole lot more famously. Unless, of course, your "real" self happens to be a total asshole, potential stalker, or completely humorless stump. :D
McCain