Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Theresa – This guy is a serious stalker. As a former law enforcement official, I have investigated many stalker cases and this guy fits the profile.
Ordinarily, I would tell you to notify the police, but this could create some problems for your club. Talk to the manager, maybe he’ll ban him from the club. But having him banned from the club may not solve your problem. This guy still knows when you’re done work and could still wait in the parking lot for you.
Be sure to have someone escort you to car every night, take a different way home each night and be aware of your surroundings. If this guy continues to stalk you, you will have to get the police involved. Take it from me; please be careful with this nut.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Could be drugs, could be alcohol could be just him like you say. Do not hesitate... Tell alot of people about this guy. And either you tell him when he comes in or have some one else that managemant knows his behaviour is WAY out of line. Police do need to be involved, this is your life! They will run his name, and with some luck he will have a warrant. Be firm, if you say anything to him, walk away and REFUSE to talk to him, ever.
Couldn't this kind of behaviour be passed on to an other girl Chuck? I have heard of it. You show them some attention, and WHAM, you are their everything CRAP. Friggin makes me mad. >:(
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Yes your right Pamela. This guy is not going to stop with Theresa.... He's a sick individual and needs to be stopped. If Theresa or the manager have a friend in the PD, maybe it can handled unofficially. I'm sure this guy has done it before and probably has a record.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Great advise from Chuck & Pamela. Do you carry mace with you? That probably wouldn't be a bad idea either if you don't.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Mace or pepper spray is OK - but the best course of action is to avoid a confrontation where sprays have to be used. Actually a kick in the balls works better. ;D
I've sprayed mace on guys who it has no effect on what-so-ever. As a matter of fact they just smile lick their lips and keep on coming. :(
Ladies, don't rely on weapons. Use your common sense instead.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Do not speak to this guy anymore, do not dance for him, do not give him any attention whatsoever! Even just telling him to leave you alobne encourages him. I know it sounds strange but it is true. You must stop giving him the attention he desires. Notify the police, tell everyone you know about him so that they are aware, definatly tell your manager. Never leave the club alone. I have been through this and unfortunatly worse. Go get a book called the Gift of Fear- read it,learn it. If I were you I'd change clubs to one that clears the parking lot before any of the dancers leave AND has a security guy walk you to your car. The most important things you can do right now is to break whatever tie he has in his mind with you by ending all contact he has with you. I'm serious about the book Therasa- it will give you advice and strength. The Gift of Fear .
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
I also suggest riding to and from work with a friend, bf or coworker. If you have a buddy at the club that's easiest, and you can split the gas expenses. It's more difficult for a weirdo to do something if you're not going home alone. And as Chuck says, be aware of your surroundings, especially when going from the car to your house.
It is possible that this guy already knows where you live - he already knows your car and likely your license plate. You might consider moving.
I also agree you should stop talking to and dancing for this guy. You may like his business but you don't need the headaches that go with it. There are plenty of other customers who won't stalk you.
Definitely talk to the manager and bouncers. If you have to give someone $5 to walk you to your car every night, do it. It's worth it. Or if you have to give a bouncer a few dollars to watch the guy and throw him out of the club for 'misbehaving', do it - just don't let the guy know you had the bouncer do that.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
I would agree with all of the above advice. Please be aware if he does follow you home, and then drive straight to the police station. Make sure the battery on you cell is charged up, and ignoring him is a good way to go too. If he insists on your attention, pretend to have forgotten his name or something of that nature, and brush it off as " meet so many men every day" etc.
Maybe even talk about your BF even if yiou don't have one. That might make him think twice before continuing to stalk you. If there is another man involved it is very intimidating to these kind of guys.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
I personally don't think dancers should drive to and from work alone. Someone from the club should carpool them or they should take taxis.
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
I agree with what Tigerlilly said. Read The Gift of Fear (it's by Gavin DeBecker). I think every dancer should read this book. Hell, I think every woman should read this book.
Tell him that his behavior has been innapropriate and that you don't wish to have any more contact with him, and then ignore him. Don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't tell him to go away, etc. If he can get you to acknowledge him at all then he's getting what he wants and he won't stop.
Talk to management and let them know that this is what your doing (you might change clubs if they won't ban him). Make a police report. Don't ask the police to talk to him, just make the report.
When you're driving home, or any time you're driving, look behind you every time you turn or get on/off a freeway. If the same car is behind you for two turns, don't go home. If they're still behind you after three or four turns, call 911.
Lena
Re: HELP! Â FREAK customer!
Your very right Carlos, dancers should not drive to and from work alone. As you probably read i am one who does not, after i led the car following me to the PD. That was a wake up call.
The book would be great, lots of tips. We all could learn or refresh ourselves at times. The police, do and will get involved however. That is their job.
If this guy is at the club, they will run the tag for one! And that is one of the best weapons you can use. Then they have who the vehicle is registered to, home address, and if in fact it was ever used for any illegal activity. They will see if his Dl is the name on vehicle registered. The list goes on. This is your life hun....And the club will not fire you because you want to protect yourself. Hell you are only giving the police the heads up on this guy. Club does not have to get involved, you are not an employee. Some managers are great when it comes to helping out the girls, others will let him in if he is not "bothering you". That makes it very uncomfortable for you to do your job.
You do need to cover all bases, most victims knew or met their rapist, etc, Before an actual attempt to do them harm. I take this seriously. As do the other girls/guys posting.
Good luck, and keep your eyes open, and tell people who can point this guy, vehicle too. You may just be saving someone elses life along with no harm done to you as well!
Pamela