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Can't use the poll for some reason.
I have to say 'C', because I have done it before and even though I don't plan to do it again, I realize I'm only human and I just might meet another guy that I really hit it off with in the club. BUT, judging from my history it's not likely, since the previous one had actually pursued me for 4 months before I ran into him one night at a regular club and, well, the rest is history. Great relationship that won't work due to circumstance.... The chances of having another guy I met at the club pursue me long enough for me to become comfortable with the notion of dating him are pretttttty slim.
I can't get a vote on the poll.
My answer is very simple. No. not ever.
In the news on the forums top page and in site issues...polls broken. Should be fixed this weekend.
If that circumstance had to do with your career then it was best to end that relationship.Quote:
BUT, judging from my history it's not likely, since the previous one had actually pursued me for 4 months before I ran into him one night at a regular club and, well, the rest is history. Great relationship that won't work due to circumstance....
No not ever.
indeed. not ever although i do agree on the point i believe you made thorn about the club needing dirty dancers who will give the men illusion that they might get lucky. so that clean dancers such as myself don't have to.
So I have a question on this subject....some of you say you have dated customers, others are adamant they would never cross that boundary. I'm torn because while at work I met this guy and gave him ny number. He was there with his friends because it was his 21st birthday and seemed like a normal guy, not one of the creeps that we all know. He bought dances from me, but we were both interested in more and clicked well. He called later that night to make sure I got home alright and to talk, he's very sweet. But I talked to my agent on the phone today and mentioned the whole episode. My agent then spent the better part of half and hour telling me all the resons why you should never, never, ever, under any circumstances date customers because you will be thought of as a prostitute, you lose money, it can cause problems with jealousy etc if he becomes a boyfriend...I don't know what to do. I like the guy and I think it might work. But I can see what my agent and you guys are talking about when you say it's a bad idea. Are there exceptions to the rule????
This is very difficult. Jayln, your agent or club manager is ALWAYS going to tell you not to date customers. Reason being that some girls do it once and then it becomes a habit. You do need to get used to the idea that customers are off-limits. BUT, reality is that once in a while a stripper meets a guy at the club that she's attracted to, and us being human, sometimes we go for it. In my own case, my ex and I were very attracted to each other and clicked right away. But I have been attracted to customers before and so wasn't jumping to go out with him. He would come in the club once a week or so, I would talk to him for a little while, then go back to work. I didn't dance for him (except on his second visit for his birthday), and he didn't give me money. After a couple months of getting to know him in the club, I felt more comfortable with him and knew I was interested so one night agreed to meet him for breakfast after work. We ate, talked, he got my number, we went home - separately. He would call me once in a while and we talked more. I still was a bit weird about dating him because I have so conditioned myself against dating guys I met at work. At the time I'd been dancing over 3 years already. Anyway, 4 months after meeting him, we ran into each other at a local club (both out with friends), danced with each other and pretty much hung out the rest of the night. We each went home (seperately), and when he called me the next day for a date, I didn't hesitate. We were together for over 3 years, and we are still friends even though our circumstances won't permit us to be together now.
So the point is, it can work out well, but you have to be careful. The vast majority of guys you'll meet at work would just LOVE to go out with you, but more for the ego trip of having a hot stripper and less for the actual relationship value. Since you've already been talking to him, if you like him so far then keep talking to him on the phone and learn more about him. See if you get the feeling he's just trying to get in the sack, or if there's something else there. Lots of guys will SAY there's something else there just to get you in the sack. You have to try to read them and that can take a little time. I'd say give it at least a few weeks, and if he's still calling, then there's probably more to it than just physical or the 'stripper trophy'.
Then there's the issue of your job. He already knows you're a stripper, so that's one hump already out of the way. But if you date this guy, chances are good that he will want you to quit after a little while as a condition of staying together. The vast majority of guys are that type. They are ok with it at first, then they suddenly get all jealous and possessive and want you to quit. Bad deal. You quit when YOU want, not when someone else wants or convinces you it's what you want. As thorn says, he can't be jealous of your job, and you can't be jealous if he visits another club at times.
There are so many possible issues, but those are two of the worst and most common. This is why we say that it is a bad idea to date guys from the club. There are always exceptions to every rule, but you have to be VERY careful about the exceptions you make.
I don't think it was a good idea to give him your number. Then again you are just starting in this business. I've made plenty of mistakes early on in my career. Now I've sufficient malice so I make much much less mistakes (I'm not perfect, duh, just think twice).
Jayln
Your agent is probably only interested in the amount of money you make (and the amount of money that he makes as a result of that) so your agent would probably want you to make money off this guy as a customer rather than date him.
I think if you like this guy, you should go out with him.
i think that there are always exeptions to the rule. i have met genuinly really good guys there that like mention are there w/ friends because of an event or something. the important thing is :if he got a dance then he is dismissed because i canot purdue any relationship after i have danced for someone
if you'v seen him there before or thereafter. wait a week and call got to a place public meet somewhere public use the proper precautions and take it there. love dosen't dictate where you find it... :-*
Thanks lover!!! I needed someone in my corner. I talked to him today again, and he has remained a gentleman. I think I may see how it goes with him, and if I am proved wrong I will learn my lesson. And he personally didn't get dances, his friends had me dance for him, so it was a little more indirect.
I once ALMOST dated the best man from a bachelor party I did. It wasn't love at first sight or anything like that, at first my additude was just like, all right, gimme my money so I can get this party started and get it over with. During the party, he kept giving me dollar after dollar so I wouldn't go to any other guy, at first I thought it was annoying, then I was like, Hey, he is pretyy hot! What did it for me was when his drunk, obnxious friend asked another guy there if he wanted to get laid (insinuating I was some kind of whore or something) and the best man became visibly annoyed and said "Don't say stuff like that, it is really disrespectful." I was like, Ohhh, what a sweetie!
I told him he should take me out sometime and he seemed surprised that I would want to go out with him. Anyway, to make a long story short, we never ended up going out, I just made out with him in a bar one night. ::)
Other than that, I have never seen a customer as a possible SO b/c my mind is focused on making money, not making a date.