Re: Using your real name?
Speaking as a customer and a guy, I'd advise against using your real name...If you like a guy and think you want to let him know your real name, you can take the time to get to know him and judge whether it's worth it.
But, as was said, there are lots of ways to trace people nowadays if somebody is really determined. But why make it easier?
Re: Using your real name?
I too vote for a pseudonym, even then keeping your REAL name private from co workers as well.
I learned that lesson the hard way, another dancer kept slipping up using my real and stage name in a club, while I was onstage she was chatting with a customer and he was making what seemed small talk to her about me and he picked up my real name FAST and in a ploy said ya, uh, me and "bleep" were supposed to hook up today but I have to go --can you let her know - oh hell I should just leave a phone message with her I cant make it (BTW all bullshit) whats her number again my daytimer address book is at the office, I just want to tell her I cant make it - SHE GAVE HIM MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER!
Oh for real...now I myself would have said oh ya me too I dont have it handy and deflected the request...but some bulbs are dimmer than others...and she bit hook line and sinker.
I just couldnt get it across to her what she did either! She said BUT HE KNEW YOUR NAME!!! Uh - duh, YAH cuz you use it all the time!! Yeesh!
Plus you know there are what they call a "reverse directory" whereas one can get the street address form the phone number (I used to work for the govt....we had all these "directories")
I was just tripping. So yah I REALLY keep my two lives- miles apart, and when guys say IS that your real name? I always say yes actually it is a derrivative, my name is Leigh-ANNE, so just call me Leigh. :P
Not only that if they see you at the mall or some other public place and call out your name you can keep on walking. I dont want to be with my MOM and a customer call out my real name and try and chat me up with my MOM by my side. Then explain oh he's a strip club customer. NOT the time or place EVER.
I have been in those situations too.
Some men have no couth, I have heard Hey Leigh, what are you doing here (mall) I hardly recognise you with your CLOTHES ON! (Gad, whatta fucking loser)
Re: Using your real name?
Since you are sonia, use sunny or something like that....look in baby books or think about your personality rather than "a name"......hair color etc. Any name someone has said you "look like a..."
Don't use your real name.
Re: Using your real name?
I did not use my real name and when I started I did not know I had to pick a stage name. Ilet the manger do it which he came up with the idea of shortening my middle name to nikki and then i switched clubs andthe gave me kelli so.... But dont use your middle name. And earlier wanna be rode said that celebrities use their real names. Most do not. Many change it to sound better or they pick something that has a easier flow! :)
Re: Using your real name?
I would advise a dancer not to use her real name and not to tell anyone in the SC environment her real name. I've had new dancers give up their complete identity within minutes: first name, last name, high school. I've had dancers tell me other dancers' real names in casual conversation. This is not about liking and trusting people; it's about personal safety.
Re: Using your real name?
i never give my real name at work.
Re: Using your real name?
Like Pryce suggested, I always have a fake back up name to get rid of the pests who keep asking me what my real name is.
These are pests for a reason! If they're gonna keep annoying you for things like that, imagine the nightmare you'll get yourself into if they can trace you with your real name!!!
:o Ooooh! Creepy! *LOL*
Re: Using your real name?
I dance by my real name. Its not like they know my last name, phone number, address, or SS#. They just know my first name, and there are a million other people in the world with the same name.
If someone wants to stalk you they can do it regardless if they know your real name or stage name.
Re: Using your real name?
i dont use my real name but i used a name close to it .....i can't be bothered with customers responding "oh thats not your real name so what is your real name?"...therefore i use a more a realistic name so that way i wont get that type of response...
Re: Using your real name?
I agree - use a stage name. Once you start saying it enough you'll get used to it. And you're probably going to have to "lie" about a couple of other things as well: "Where do you live?" "What kind of car do you drive?" It'll give you peace of mind in the long run.
Re: Using your real name?
I had to respond.
I use my real name. Yet I use a fake age (23 when I'm 25) as well as fake real name (Victoria). I also have a story that is a mixture of fiction and non-fiction ... this includes where I live for those customers who are locals and want to know what suburb (I chose a suburb that is about 3 suburbs away from where I actually live).
I never EVER tell anyone my last name. If I happen to get caught in a situation where I have to give out my real last name (I did once... it wasn't awful or anything).... I use a fake last name as well.
You can use your real name however just make other aspects of yourself fake.
Most guys don't believe it is your real name anyway :)
Re: Using your real name?
Quote:
I dance by my real name. Its not like they know my last name, phone number, address, or SS#. They just know my first name, and there are a million other people in the world with the same name.
If someone wants to stalk you they can do it regardless if they know your real name or stage name.
I agree, but with some of us with pretty distinctive first names like myself, don't want to take that risk! I know, they may not believe the real name anyways but if they DO, it would make it easier for them to trace you because the chances of another having the same name as you is much less likely.
It's true, a stalker can stalk anyone, but it's best not give them a helping hand.
Re: Using your real name?
No one, and I do mean no one, in my club knows my name. Oh, if they HAD to know then I'm sure the manager could look it up on my application, but I don't ever give it out. Not to the DJ, not to the girls and certainly not to the customers.
I don't give out my name for exactly the reasons Leigh listed. All it would take is one bubble-headed dancer (or worse, a vindictive dancer) and any stalker-wannabe would have a foot in the door to my personal life. My name is very dictinctive; I've yet to meet anyone with the same name.
When some joker pulls that line of "Oh, that's not your name. C'mon, what's your REAL name?" I'll usually tell him that he knows better than to ask me that (insert big wink). Or I'll pull out my smartass remarks.
"C'mon, what's your REAL name?"
"Oh, you're just jealous that you don't have a stage name of your own. Hmmm.. I hereby dub you Fritz LaMagma, the wildest ride in three states. There you go, Fritz, now we're even."
If both ploys do not work, I move on. The guy who won't give up on first introduction is too scary and too much hassle to bother with.
Re: Using your real name?
I respect that Lilith.
I admit, I have given my real name to a few dancers and the DJ before and it's caused me more trouble than it's been worth on a good few occassions. I hate the fact someone feels that they have the permission to dish what they know of me to others.
I've started to become stricter with whom I give my details to. It's just risky. All they need know is my stage name and that I'm of legal age (not even the age itself in most cases!). Nothing else and I plan to stick with that.
Re: Using your real name?
I don't think there's anything wrong with using your real name, I do. And besides, if a guy's gonna want to stalk you badly enough, he's not going to need to know your real name to do so.
Re: Using your real name?
I've been dancing under my real name for six years now. When I first started I wasn't creative enough to come up with a stage name so I stuck with what Mom gave me. I haven't had any problems with using it. Most guys don't beleive that it's my real name so when they push I tell them it's Bertha. I don't think enybody would dance under that! ;D
I never give out any other info. One customer that comes to see me is a cop and he's always asking questions about where I live and wonders why I haven't called him. He's a little creepy so I don't want him to have access to any thing that might help get personal info on me.