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I say I'm dating more than one person. I say one of them is a really hot blonde girl. See if that makes you any $$. If you are gonna lie, one way or another, why not make it profitable?
Juliette de Sade
I always admit to having a boyfriend. But then again, I've never been good at "dancer games" so I don't play.
I tell them I'm single. But I'm really single. I see no reason to lie. I do get harrassed to go on dates, and I just say 'I'm single by choice' and politely turn them down.
Up until recently, I was single and told everyone that. Now I met a guy and we are just absolutely smitten with each other... [clap] So now I don't know what I am going to say, I guess I will try telling the truth and if my money goes down I will just lie about it, I guess. Even though it shouldn't matter, b/c I wouldn't date customers even if I was single. Some of them just think that they have more of a chance if the dancer is single. ::)
I think it's best money-wise to always say I'm single. It does lead to annoying dinner invitations, but I just put them off and build a sexy story out of it. For instance, I'll say that I just started dating a woman and then go on about some hot tub scenario. That changes the subject rather nicely and gets 'em in the mood for a couple more dances. I try this method for as many visits as I can. Usually if you directly tell a customer, No I will not date you-the money stops right there. If you're honest and say you have a boyfriend/husband, sometimes they still buy, sometimes they don't. I'd rather keep the money coming as long as possible, even though it's inevitable that one day they figure out they can't have you and dissapear.
So my advice is, change the subject with lesbian stories! ;)
If not that then say, 'I really don't know you and of course you can understand that I'm a little nervous about dating someone I just met in here. Maybe if we got to know one another better...' Lots of times you'll never see this guy again anyways so that is good to put him off without rejecting him.
You know, most of the time for me the subject never even comes up! I think that those guys that don't ask are smart and don't want to ask. I usually tell the truth, and sometimes I even say, yes, I have a terrific boyfriend. I really don't notice it hurting my money either way. When I am asked out, I respectfully decline. I always make sure to say, "Oh, it's nothing personal, I jsut don't want to get involved with anyone I met here."
I dodge the question...flirtaciously.
Really none of their business, are my thoughts.
I use such lines as
so what does your boyfriend think of this, I respond with "which one" wink!
Are you single? "Are looking to fill out an application?" wink!
Do you like women? "Doesn't everybody?" wink!
A friend of mine is married and DOES wear her rings in the club, when guys ask her about being married she smiles coyly - ya but we have an open marriage, wink! (they dont)
All part of the hustle or game if ya will.
This is a split issue-it seems that some girls have no problem playing games with customers. Others condemn it. I am from the school of girls that will tell the customers pretty much what they want to hear. It's a trade off, I think. I will say whatever it takes to make me look like a mold of their fantasies. I have fun with it too. Does anyone have a difficult time doing this? I wonder.....
Juliette de Sade
Oh, how I hate this situation. Always awkward for me when a customer asks me out and I have never found a good response (good tips on this thread btw :D ). I find that if I tell the truth about having a boyfriend or turn down a customer for a date (even "just as friends"), the business dries up. I've tried saying it's against club rules and believe me, that does not work at all. I will have to try out some of the above tips.
On a side note, some of my regular customers know I have a boyfriend and don't care. Unfortunately, I live in a pretty small town and see customers out in public all the time with my boyfriend (which drives him crazy, not in a good way :-[ ). Also not good for business, haha.
I usually say I'm dating, implying more than one person.
^ Love this tip! :)Quote:
so what does your boyfriend think of this, I respond with "which one" wink!
Many years ago when I first went to clubs one of my lines was "What does your boyfriend think of this" as a way of finding out whether a dancer was attached or not .
You will be pleased to hear I no longer use this line .
I now never ask about a dancers attachments even if they ask me mine - which I always answer truthfully (single ) . They can tell me theirs but I will not ask .
I only broach conversation topics such as the club itself , other clubs , holidays , cars , classes they take , their day job , their ambitions , how good they look etc .
[ I never, ever say I dislike their hair/clothes/makeup -even if its true ] .
I much prefer listening and taking an interest in the lady than talking myself (or about myself )
I take it as read that pretty girls have boyfriends or husbands so anyone who told me they were single , I would think they were lying. Likewise any one who said they were only into girlfriends - a blatant come-on and scam to turn on the guys who like 2 girl dances and lesbian shows .
In the end its only fantasy , so knowing a dancer is married or in a steady relationship doesn't make a great deal of difference - we can always dream they are about to breakup and we are next in line !!
Geoff
It really depends. I usually say I don't have a boyfriend (I do have a boyfriend and he is my world)and If I can, I dodge the question. I'm at work to make money, not share personal information about myself to strangers that have no buisness knowing it to begin with.
Syn
I actually don't care if you have a BF or husband. I am there just for the dance, not action most of the time. ;D
Paladin, Im older too and I kind of enjoy the stripper drama Its interesting LOL I like a nice blend of laps and conversation
My response to this question for years was always no, unless you could tell that this person would not mind (like if he talks about his wife a lot). But what I have found that works best in this situation was saying "No, I just ended a long relationship". Stressing the word long! That way they usually won't ask you out and if they do then you can remind them that you JUST got out of something and need more time and maybe later down the line. So maybe they will keep coming back to you. and you can keep saying you need more time, you are not ready to date.
And god forbid they should see you out with your man (if this guys a regular) then you can say it was your ex and that y'all sometimes hang out cuz you are trying to remain friends and still see one another at times.
Works like a charm! Even though there are still some ego ridden guys that think if you go out with them then they will help you get over the last relationship. They will say everything to get you to go out with them. But if you stick with the ol "I'm just getting out of my last one and need time" there is not much they can say and hopefully won't get their feelings hurt by hearing a flat out Hell No! And maybe will back off, untill the next time they come in. LOL!!
Take Care Ladies!
I used to tell them that I was engaged and I wore my ring. One night the first thing a customer asked me was if I was single. When I told him no, he said we won't be doing any dances because single girls are more fun. Now I think I know what his idea of "fun" was, but he could at least have found out by buying one dance from me and then finding out that I didn't fit his idea of "fun".
Now I tell 99% of customers that I am single. The only people I tell that I have a BF are couples, girls, or, like Arockerchick said, a guy who talks about his wife a lot. Its funny because the next thing I hear is "You're not single, you're too pretty." WTF? ??? Like pretty girls aren't single. Girls have no choice on whether they want to be single or not. If they are good looking that means any boy can snatch them up because girls ALWAYS want boyfriends and NEVER want to be single and have fun. I know I am happily attached now, but there was a time when I CHOSE to be single.
I got off the subject. I do have to fight off dates a lot more now. I hate that too.[argh]I just tell them I don't date people I meet at work. Is that good, or is there something better to say?
I tell them I am separated from my husband. And it is TRUE!! He is not there with me while I dance, or attached to my hip, thus, at the moment, we are not "together" we are "separated". Guys take this as, OOH, she may need a shoulder to cry on, I can come back a few more times and try to win her over, but I need to be slow, give her time,...
And they DO come back, again and again and again...
Misleading? YEAH.... :-/
Lying?......No. ;D
Too true ! LOL !Quote:
Now I tell 99% of customers that I am single. The only people I tell that I have a BF are couples, girls, or, like Arockerchick said, a guy who talks about his wife a lot. Its funny because the next thing I hear is "You're not single, you're too pretty." WTF? ????
I always wondered why they asked that question if they already "knew" the answer ???
When that question gets asked it's damned if you do, damned if you don't usually.
I think the best answer to that is I am dating a couple of people, nothing serious.
It makes you look available but leaves an easy out.
PS Kobi- where are working in LV ? I will be out there visiting Max's brother in Jan. and I usually like to hit a club while there.
And I just love the Farrah hair [dazzled] in your pics!
Thanks Tigerlilly! I sent you a PM.
i always tell them no.... but if they ask i always say i'm a virgin too.... lol
xoxo
heidi
You're a virgin? Wow, so am I.
I wish I would have had this site when I started dancing.The advice here s great and very right. Avoid the question creativly. I made the mistake of telling another dancer some of my personal business and next thing ya know, tips were way off. And all I said was my hubby and i took our daughter to the zoo Sunday. Responding to her asking how was your weekend
customer: do you have a boyfriend? you reply: no but i have a girlfriend
I try to avoid or dodge this question as much as possible. It's kind or hard though because my wedding ring is tattooed on my finger. So I can't really lie and say that I'm not married. When a guy finds out, I usually say something cute about it and then change the subject. Unless I'm just really missing the obvious, I don't think it affects my earnings all that much. I wouldn't really know though because I got married at 18.