-
Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Is there a way that I can get a guy to keep buying dances with out him asking me to dinner? It is very frustrating. The guys are not impressed with me, because they don't know me. They are impressed with my act. I tell them what they want to hear.
I am 36 years old- obviously I can't say how old I am so I tell them that I am 26. Most customers guess me at 23.
What am I doing wrong? I hear dancers talk about regulars all of the time. I don't even want to see the customers ever again after hanging out with them once; because they expect my relationship with them to extend outside the club. It is very annoying.
I don't know what to do ???
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Tell them what alot of stripers do, that this is your job, you really value the relationship inside the club, but club rules will not permit you to see anyone outside the club. It has to stay inside. I know some girls break this, and at the clubs i worked it really was a rule.
I hope they tone it down some then. Be nice, bullshit if you have too, but make it clear you will lose your job. Who cares if "sally" does it, she won't last long.
Pamela
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I honestly don't think there is any way to avoid having a customer ask you out, unfortunately. Even if you tell them not to ask you out, they still probably will. I agree with Pamela; I think it's the best advice but some of the guys will not dance with you any more. But then again, do you really want to dance with those guys anyway if they are going to constantly harangue you to go out with them? I find it very annoying too but that is just a part of this job, I think. You could try the route of accepting a business card/phone number (don't give yours out of course) and always putting off contact or going on an actual date with some excuse (I lost your card, I've been really busy, etc). Eventually, they will catch on, though, and probably be pissed off.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
What I'll say is this: If they are talking about dinner and a movie then chalk it up as stripper shit. If you are being asked out for "DATES" thats a different story. You can tell if its the second kind if you hit the floor one nite and work all around and everybody asks you out, and after turning them down they shut down and don't spend anymore money or blatantly say they were looking for something else. WALK.
That means that the other girls in your club are doing other things. I had this happen to me one nite at a club I loved. The money was progressively getting slower and more customers came in looking for "DATES" but I was still making my money. One nite I made only $150 all nite and I'm not complaining, but it all came off of stage and mostly from two guys who loved my stage show. I could not sell a dance all nite. Everyone kept saying they were looking for something else. I thought that that nite we just had our fair share of travelers and truckers or whatever, but every customer I talked to said the same. Thats when it struck me that of course all the other girls were still getting dances from the same customers who said they were looking for more. The others were doing more than dancing. I left and they got shut down soon after.
If its the first kind of date then tell them you feel weird going on with people you meet at work b/c you don't know really safe in that sort of situation or say its against the rules and that you will get fired if the club finds out. You could always just exchange email addresses and keep in touch like that to keep them coming in to see you. Hope it helps.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
That is the very reason regulars don't last for long. Be a man for a minute. He is spending money on you because you turn him on and are attractive to him. As far as age goes the target customers are 35-65 so being age 36 if you told them the truth would be more of a turn on.
In the "wanna dance" clubs customer interaction is minimal but you have to have high club volume and just the right amount of girls to make money in them.
Wives are looking sloppier (the men are too but we're talking from the mans point of view here) and the relationships are stale and a pretty sexy looking girl with a nice body and heels on is hard to resist.
It's hard but you just have to string these guys on as long as you can to get paid. I've gone out to lunch with 2 guys in the past year, one who is a regular and he gave me $100, and doesn't push me for anything and another annoying guy who had plans to marry me and would sit in the club all night 5 of 6 nights of my weeks booking, but while it lasted I made about $2500 in cash and merchandise from him before he finally realized nothing was happening.
The atmosphere of the clubs nowadays aggravates our problems with the guys because more sitting is required to get guys to buy dances and spend money.
I don't see any solution to the problem but to become numb to it and just see how long you can keep them hanging before they go away.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Hi Ladies,
Just wanted to add my experience here. I've had to get rid of two regulars because both decided that they "liked me/loved me too much" to be customers and didn't want to spend money on me inside the club. One guy went so far as to get pissed off that I was dancing with another regular (who spends at minimum $200 on me when he comes in) instead of his cheap ass.
I never call or communicate with customers outside of the club and most of my customers know that dancing is my job, not an opportunity for me to meet people. But every night, there's one guy who thinks that he is saying something to you that you haven't already heard 1000 times and that somehow, he's the man to sweep you off of your feet.
Yes, it is frustrating and irritating to have to spend a song or two fighting off the advances of the wanna-be knights-in-shining-armour. But it is an unfortunate part of the job that we have to deal with :(
Amethyst
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Tina - You really think that saying my real age to the older guys would be a good idea? It seems to me like if I say that I am an experienced 36 year old with a brain, they will pull the old-- "but I really like you"--- even more than normal. I try to act as dumb, young and niave as possible. I don't like for guys to know the real me and identify with me. It becomes way to invasive. I live in Las Vegas now and there are all sorts of scary guys from all over the world. I would be way to afraid to let any of these guys get to know the real me. So many guys come to Las Vegas looking for hookers. Of course some of those obnoxious guys are cops who just hassle the hell out of us, waste our time and make our jobs way worse than necessary. Maybe I could come up with a different act for the older guys which would work better than my dumb, young and niave act. Any ideas???
Divyne --The last couple of nights I have had more than one guy buy one dance and ask for more than the type of work that I do in the club, and after turning them down, they either found other dancers or they walked.
I don't know if we are being bombarded by a bunch of asshole cops or if there are just a bunch of hookers providing more than dances.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Quote:
Hi Ladies,
Just wanted to add my experience here. I've had to get rid of two regulars because both decided that they "liked me/loved me too much" to be customers and didn't want to spend money on me inside the club. One guy went so far as to get pissed off that I was dancing with another regular (who spends at minimum $200 on me when he comes in) instead of his cheap ass.
I never call or communicate with customers outside of the club and most of my customers know that dancing is my job, not an opportunity for me to meet people. But every night, there's one guy who thinks that he is saying something to you that you haven't already heard 1000 times and that somehow, he's the man to sweep you off of your feet.
Yes, it is frustrating and irritating to have to spend a song or two fighting off the advances of the wanna-be knights-in-shining-armour. But it is an unfortunate part of the job that we have to deal with :(
Amethyst
You dancers shoukld print this out and hand it to all customers who are getting a little too close fo ryour comfort. It pretty much spells out the reality that they refuse to see.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I accept whatever information they want to give me and use it only when I am working. Usually, I tell the guys I have a day job too, which is true. The club qualifies as my fun time, because I'm working constantly...so if they want to see me, they have to pay me a visit. I don't keep regulars who try to be my boyfriend all the time because......
Men are like trains. There is one coming every 5 minutes.
Juliette de Sade
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I just wanted to throw my 0.05 AUD in.. :-)
If they ask me for a date.. I tell that between my time at the club, study and the volunteer work I do.. I don't have to time to go out on a date as yet. Then I tell them (using some stripper shit techniques) that instead they should come by when I'm next working.
So far.. I've been able to keep quite a few regulars for this reason. As for study.. Make it up.. you don't have to actually study-ing or doing any volunteer work.
I've known dancers who do go out for a bite to eat with guys who are regulars but that doesn't work for me. So I tell them to see me in the club instead.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Hey live nude girl, when I said that the target customers would be turned on by the fact that you are older and so pretty, I wasn't saying that by telling them your real age it would cause them to back off.
I simply meant that every guy isn't interested in girls who are old enough to be their daughters and that your age and demeanor could be making you more appealing to the guys which is probably giving you an edge on squeezing dances out of guys in that highly competitive LV market.
We all deal with what you are facing. All you can do is keep stringing them along so you can get paid.Guys all want to date and fuck girls they are atttracted to.That is why this is a tease business and some clubs use the name heartbreakers.
At least you are selling some of these guys which is better than a lot of Vegas girls are doing nowadays.
-
Here is what I tell some of them
We all get customers asking for dates. I even get homeless guys asking for dates, LOL. Most of the time they want to go on a date after my shift ends, so I'll tell them why go on a date when we are already on one right now(in my private pleasure booth). I often tell them that they can be my boyfriend for the next few minutes if they put in another $20. If that doesn't work, I tell them to describe the beautiful date they are going to take me on (I make sure they put in money before they tell me) and all the little details like what they want me to wear and stuff like that.
The funny thing I've found in doing this is many of these guys are more into the fantasy of a date than the reality.
Kaiya
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Kaiya - That is such a great way to deal with those guys! I'm going to try it.
Tina - You are right about the fact that I do have a competitive edge because I am able to relate to the older men on their level; which is something that most of the younger dancers aren't able to do. So, I'll just keep pretending like I am a very wise and mature 26 year old and be grateful for that extra "personality" money.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Uggh "Date" also can be slang for "extra". If they are using "date" either they are naive, desperate, or used to picking up streetwalkers.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Well, madgrad, that's when they ask you "Do you date," not for a date.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
LOL Collete, thanks for the Correction.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I am still working on how to drag this out for as long as possible. I've been "regularless" for the last 2 months and it has hurt. Now I set up a hotmail account (stage name only!) and do a weekly e-mailing with my schedule to each one and make it very personal and say "I really hope I get to see you so we can talk about ______ more and play in the VIP room". Then they think you're thinking about them outside of work. I also say I don't get to have a life because I work all the time trying to make $ because I need ______.
We'll see how it goes. I think I may have to break down and do lunch eventually, but it's under VERY strict terms laid out beforehand ($200 opportunity cost for my not being at work, etc.) I also try to discourage them by saying "You really want to spend $200 + dinner just to talk? We can do more in the VIP room if you see me at work, so I just don't understand- you must really like my conversational skills" or something like that. I make it clear there will be no after meal date.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I will ask sometimes, if I know the dancer well, but when I mean for dinnner, that is all. I want to pay back you for being so nice to me, and treating you to dinner is one way I can without just giving you money, I do that enough at the club....(I know, I know but it is the thought that counts for me.)
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Since I've been doing a little study lately (from the "guy" side) on why men want to date "strippers " and why they ask, the general consensus seems to be:
a. it's not appropriate given the work setting
b. most of the men who ask the dancers out have no concept of who the woman really is. They're only attracted to the image they have of her, a product largely of the the club environment. In other words, they're attracted to their fantasy concept of who she is, not who she is
c. if you do date a customer, it will almost NEVER work out, given (b) above
d. nine times out of ten, the reason the guy wants to date her is to get into her pants. He's thinking with his dick, not with his heart. regardless of where you meet someone, that's always a bad motive
The advice I've been given is, if you are in a club and you like one of the dancers, play by hers and the club's rules while you're there.
don't ask her out. If she wants that kind of relationship with you (very rare) let her ask you. If she doesn't ask, then it ain't happenin'.
I have actually been invited to date a dancer. She asked me. And I STILL don't know if it's going to happen.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Stevenv -- Good for you! It is so rare for a guy to have an idea of the reality behind the dancers who work in a strip club. I have actually dated 4 different guys that I have met in clubs and none of those situations worked out for all of the reasons that you listed. Guys don't want to listen to reality when they are in a strip club. That is why we have to play the role of our stripper character. That is why we have stage names. It is an act. Dancers are regular people just like any other woman. I am not a drug addicted, nymphomaniac, bisexual, aspiring porn star. However, I will play any combination of those roles while at work, depending on what the customer is looking for.
-
Re: Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Alexis - Please be careful if you meet a guy for lunch or dinner. Make sure not to get in his car. Tell a friend or leave a note on your kitchen counter with the exact time and place and a description of the guy. Always stay in places that are very public. I have heard some real horror stories about dancers who have met customers outside of work. No amount of money is worth it. Even if the guy is known by other dancers and staff of the club, always remember that men are bigger and stronger.
-
Re:Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I must admit that, normally, I tell my customers that they can have more fun with me at work. However, there is this ONE man, who comes into town one week a month, but he's different. First, he knows I have a hubby, and second, all he's ever wanted to do is take me out to dinner (in a place I arrange) or go to Busch Gardens. Both places are public, and he never asked for more than my companionship. But normally, no, I won't even consider it. I also go with the too much to do and not enough time to date.
-
Re:Why do customers keep asking me for dates
I've seen Dancers who i'd have LOVED to take out (who hasn't), but i never asked them. Strippers get hit on 80 times a night, the identity as #81 isn't all that appealing so I skip it.
I leave the dating thing at the door, better for all concerned.
-
Re:Why do customers keep asking me for dates
Without sounding mean.... string them along as long as you can. You have to realize that regulars come and go. But it is definately a good idea to never exchange phone numbers with customers since it is illegal. The best way to weasle out of it is to blame it on club rules and policies. Lets face it ladies, guys don't come to a club to make friends. They almost always want something more. At most I will give them my email address to fend them off for a little while, but eventually they always figure out that it's not going to lead to anything and then just disappear or find someone else to fall in love with.
-
Re:Why do customers keep asking me for dates
What a romantic you are Bambi. :thumbsup:
hehe