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Why do strippers hate men.
For all of those that harbor ill feelings and hostilities towards men you feel you are somehow enslaved to for your livelihood I would like to think back to the time before you started your high contact occupation.
Much of the reason women start stripping is they enjoy the exposure, the attention, the power that the job gives you. Hey you get up on that stage and you are the queen of Sheba. If that was all stripping was about then everything seems pretty symbiotic. You perform for men , they enjoy you , you enjoy the attention, it's a pretty win -win deal except for one thing-- the money.
You've obviously discovered that close contact (ie. lap dancing) will get you bigger bucks. Now the big hurdle you will have to get over is societies belief that intimate contact should be reserved for those who have established a wholesome relationship and not sold for money like a commodity on the NYSE.
It's the same way society believes a pastor should preach for the salvation of your soul and not for (outside of personal offerings, donations) money. In that case religion becomes like a business which opens it to all sorts of abuses (ie. selling pardons).
But we can't resist the temptation of making the big times sedated in the belief that we will meet with the more open minded crowds and we can handle the pressure involved so we go ahead and make the transistion.
Now for some of us that may prove to be biting off more than we can chew. Take the small town rock band that becomes quite popular playing at the local club or high school prom. They have a harmonious relationship with their community and audience. But then Joe talent scout wanders in and BOOM sign up for a recording contract. The star eyed group packs up and heads for the high pressure world of the recording business in which they will be introduced to all the seductions of the fast lane-- greedy agents, groupies, drug dealers, stalkers, lawyers etc.
Okay ,back to our enterprising stripper. She's now in the big leagues so now she deals with the sexually insecure , the big wheels, the fierce competition, inferiority complexes, the battle with weight, deviates , stalkers, etc. and finds it not quite the same as the conditions she started from. If she's irresponsible like the most of us are she'll blame those who are associated with her. Since their customers are primarily men who do you think she'll blame?
Now tie this to our rising rock stars. Can they say that their audience is the blame for their drug addictions, infidelities, reckless spending capades?(Not saying that you've committed any such offenses but just serving as an example) They probably will. What about their view of the world. Now it's a hostile place where people try to snooker your fortune from you. The pressure to succeed is so high you've got a drug habit.
Some people simply cannot handle success. When they fail , everyone else is to blame.
The world is basicly the same place as when you started. The drug pushers were always there, the social mores were still there, the aberant stalker was always there, the home town hospitality is still there.
It all happened when you've made that transition, took that step. The world didn't change , you had.
Any comments?
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
oh gawd, here we go again with the :soapbox:
I think this has been said many, many times before on this board but most strippers do not hate men.
Some strippers or women for that matter hate certain male behaviors.
I don't see why that is so difficult to understand that it needs to be :twak: into some guys heads.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Ugh.
What she said. Most of us don't hate men.
To add a little more food for thought, I look at the men vs women thing like this: In a world where men always have and always will have most of the 'power', sex, or the idea of it, is the one major equalizer women can use to level the playing field, or even tilt it to their favor. Those of us who learn how and have the 'balls' to use it get ostracized by other women and men alike. We have to get tough to deal with that, and then we are called 'man-haters'.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Wasn't this dealt with somewhere else on these boards???
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Well, you would have to answer the question of why do men hate women? Or better yet, why do men feel the need to be disrespectful to, and take advantage of, strippers?
Not ALL strippers hate men...there are some out there that do...but, you are mistakenly putting all strippers in the "male hater" category. Just as not every man that walks into a strip club is disrespectful or taking advantage of strippers.
Besides, I think this topic has worn the carpet already in some other posts, so I'll end it here.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57269#msg57269 date=1071876165
Well, you would have to answer the question of why do men hate women? Or better yet, why do men feel the need to be disrespectful to, and take advantage of, strippers?
Not ALL strippers hate men...there are some out there that do...but, you are mistakenly putting all strippers in the "male hater" category. Just as not every man that walks into a strip club is disrespectful or taking advantage of strippers.
Besides, I think this topic has worn the carpet already in some other posts, so I'll end it here.
I Totally Agree (ITA)
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
you are assuming the man-hating strippers didn't hate men before they started dancing, which is a large leap in logic for your argument.
Try again.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
i'm not a stripper....but i started hating men because of the mis-treatment and disrespect received from the assholes i wound up with...and i noticed that the bullshit that i was going through...a lot of the women around me...my mom and grandma (and ladies in their generation) included...were going through the same or similar things...
my lil' sis went through the "that's not my baby...you must have been fucking someone else" bullshit with my neices fathers...and has to raise the girls by herself 'cause of those deadbeat lowlives...
i've had my heart broken on more than one occation...by lying mother fuckers...giving me the "baby...i love you"...and "we could be good together..."crap...only to find out that he was fucking someone else the whole time we were together...
and...i've also dealt with tired ass mother fuckers that think that all women should be their sex slaves (or just wait on them hand and foot)...and that it's alright to do whatever they want to women...that women should get used to it...and it's cool to have a wife...a girlfriend...and a ho....his woman should just understand that...but let the woman start creeping...he would be gone in a heartbeat....
(i've also dealt with guys that think that all women are gold digging whores...but when i turned down their advances...i got call a lesbian bitch...what...the...hell...)
i'm trying not to hate men...but it's getting very difficult...
:meditate:
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
What happens to some (it did me) was i started looking at alot of men in a different light. All men where good, nice etc. But i started dancing and heard dancers being called sluts, and saw men spilling drinks on certain ladies, along with wading up $1's and throwing them at dancers.
I'm like whoa this happens in clubs where guys and women are supposed to come together?
This has not changed me, i LOVE men! But i have seen my share of women walk out due to "bad" customers.
This is a tough job, and it takes a tough lady to stay with the job. If a woman "hates" men based on stripping, i think she is the one who has a problem. Because all of us deal with jerks in all walks of life. The bar scene makes it easier to be a jerk, because there is drinking which will change a persons attitude at times.
Leave the drugs out, clubs don't serve drugs like booze (i am speaking on a serious note.) so, it's all up to the dancer, if she thinks all guys are jerks based on strip clubs. These places are not for the meek lady.
Just my experience.
Pamela
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Why do men hate strippers?
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Please forgive me for getting into your business... but your message touched my heart and reminds me of my wasted time also, but on the other side of the equation.
With your patience, I would like to write about my experiences, because I know first hand how depressing and negative and hopeless those feelings are.
My parents too, were not great role models for a good relationship. I won't get into details, but I will say that I learned their relationship behaviors from them, as well as I learned to speak from them, and all those other things we learn.
Unfortunately - some families have behaviors that are ingrown in them and so are re-enforced - we take them for normal and "how it is" when it may not be. Those who expect such behaviors generally were raised with them, and while they are still hurtful, we tolerate them because they are so familiar to us - normal - everybody is like that.
This lead me to some really bad choices in women to date. The thing is, I would continue to make bad choices - one right after the other. After dealing with a woman who would stalk me, and break into my house, and steal things from me, I finally I gave up.
I got into the strip club scene and found it - unsatisfying. I can tell you this patron had an emptiness in him he was trying to fill. As I looked over the other men there, I wondered who else was there trying to fill an emptiness - a vacuum in their spirit.
I realized that I am missing something. I needed to get a clue. I took a time out, and read relationship books - everything from helping men find women, to women finding men to tapes about relationships while I drove to and from work. I tried to see it from both sides of the table. This was like six or seven months of "time out" I call it.
I read in a book, that in all our disfunctional relationships, there is only one common factor: ourselves. I was open minded enough at that time to sit back and think about this.
I came to realize, that I always went for a certain kind of girl. And that those types of girls were very toxic to my kind of personality. I also came to realize that I did not have a CLUE about what a good relationship was.
I was never taught by my family and friends what a good relationship was.
I learned the difference between arguing and fighting. I learned a lot - men and women speak the same words, but we say different things. (I fear I am not making sense to you!)
But I did learn more about what I wanted. And I learned more about how to get it. More importantly I learned what I didn't want and how to find out if it was there without giving the poor thing the third degree and "all my little tests."
I had a social circle and social behaviors that kept introducing me to the same types of women. This had to change. And I will admit - it felt awkward and strange to expand that social circle out a bit to include different types of people. Sometimes I was very annoyed by them, sometimes they scared me, sometimes I annoyed them, sometimes I scared them, and a lot of times I felt very awkward.
There was a lot of "social experimenting" because, with some of these new faces - I didn't have a clue what was important to them, what hurt them, what made them happy. Everyone is so different and yet in many ways people are the same in groups.
What your message said to me, is that your in a vicious circle of repeatedly making the same choices and expecting something different. Maybe you recognize it maybe you won't.
In the end, I hope that I have put some ideas in your head, maybe what to expect when you begin change in your life, and most importantly, that I have not offended you.
I now return to my lurking.
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Originally Posted by Topaz link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57323#msg57323 date=1071889390
i'm not a stripper....but i started hating men because of the mis-treatment and disrespect received from the assholes i wound up with...and i noticed that the bullshit that i was going through...a lot of the women around me...my mom and grandma (and ladies in their generation) included...were going through the same or similar things...
my lil' sis went through the "that's not my baby...you must have been fucking someone else" bullshit with my neices fathers...and has to raise the girls by herself 'cause of those deadbeat lowlives...
i've had my heart broken on more than one occation...by lying mother fuckers...giving me the "baby...i love you"...and "we could be good together..."crap...only to find out that he was fucking someone else the whole time we were together...
and...i've also dealt with tired ass mother fuckers that think that all women should be their sex slaves (or just wait on them hand and foot)...and that it's alright to do whatever they want to women...that women should get used to it...and it's cool to have a wife...a girlfriend...and a ho....his woman should just understand that...but let the woman start creeping...he would be gone in a heartbeat....
(i've also dealt with guys that think that all women are gold digging whores...but when i turned down their advances...i got call a lesbian bitch...what...the...hell...)
i'm trying not to hate men...but it's getting very difficult...
:meditate:
;D
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
that's why i stopped dating...since i obviously don't know what i'm doing...i've changed and re-arrange almost too much of myself...and still ended up with assholes...so i quit trying...and that was in '97...
i also speak of what i've seen others go thru...not just my own experiences...and not just those of family only....
:thinking:
and i'd like to see the answer to sapphire's question...
:meditate:
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Why do men hate strippers? I can't answer that question definitively. I can give an answer, but I don't know if it is the right answer. I don't hate strippers, and so I can only toss out this theory:
I think such men hate or dislike women in general. I think they are conflicted between a biological attraction to women, but yet an emotional rejection of women.
There is a peer pressuring technique between some men, where one man calls the other "a pussy" or "a little girl." I think this group of men pick up on the idea that, to be a woman, is a bad thing.
A lot of angry words in our society are oriented around the female gender. "You cock sucker!" "It was a bitch to get that wheel on!" If one is angry inside or frustrated, and there is a culturally learned expression of that anger in terms of the female gender... it is easy to interact with women in that manner.
I don't think they have a good definition of what it is to be a "man." Many societies have a ritual a boy goes through who then becomes a man. American Indians would send a boy out into the woods/mountains for a week - if he came back alive, he was a man. The Jewish tradition has barmitzvah's to mark when a boy becomes a man. Our society in general does not have such a thing. And so, in the vacuum, to be a man - is to not be a woman.
Add to this mix that dancers tend to be "hyper-feminine" and I think this disdain is that much more amplified.
Or I could be full of it. :o
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Originally Posted by Topaz link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57347#msg57347 date=1071899563
and i'd like to see the answer to sapphire's question...
:meditate:
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
i DON'T HATE MEN. I do dislike people who are disrespectful, male or female.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Its not that strippers hate men, its that all women hate when men act like jerks. In this buiseness it happens more frequently then in regular life. Men try to lick you, smell you, touch you. What happened to chivalry? Some men still have it, a lot don't. Some men think that just because we are dancers then it is ok to treat us like trash. I don't know your situation, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're probly guilty of this too.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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Originally Posted by Sapphire link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57334#msg57334 date=1071891764
Why do men hate strippers?
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Originally Posted by Topaz link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57347#msg57347 date=1071899563
and i'd like to see the answer to sapphire's question...
I'll take a guess....
They're beautiful, sexy, friendly, warm, and there when men need them. In many ways they're everything men desire...but (for the most part) can't ever have. Symbolically too. That kind of rejection can hurt worse than anything, and make men feel extremely bitter or resentful. Some are bothered by it and others aren't, and some handle it better than others. Those that don't handle this rejection well may start to feel hatred towards those they view responsible for causing their horrible feelings. I vaguely recall reading that most serial killers targeting women had a lifetime history of rejection before "snapping." Kind of like kids getting picked on can lead to school shootings if one of them "snaps." I'm not sure that there's much a dancer can do to prevent this sort of hatred from creeping in, short of having god-like patience and kindness when it comes to rejecting a guy. But that would require behavior worthy of sainthood when it comes to the assholes hitting on you all night long.
That all being said, hasn't the whole "why do strippers hate men?" thing been beat to death already?
-lestat1
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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Originally Posted by Rayanna link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57241#msg57241 date=1071870984
oh gawd, here we go again with the :soapbox:
I think this has been said many, many times before on this board but most strippers do not hate men.
Some strippers or women for that matter hate certain male behaviors.
I don't see why that is so difficult to understand that it needs to be :twak: into some guys heads.
Oh my God, Rayanna, you know how hard I find that to believe especially from you?
Ray, did I say most strippers hate men? No, this is my THEORY on why the ones WHO do , do so.
It is open to anyone who wishes to comment on it. What's your take on the theory? Try to keep to the subject matter and not personality conflicts. If you want to any personality conflic ts not related to the subject you are welcome to PM me personally.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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Originally Posted by Topaz link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57323#msg57323 date=1071889390
i'm not a stripper....but i started hating men because of the mis-treatment and disrespect received from the assholes i wound up with...and i noticed that the bullshit that i was going through...a lot of the women around me...my mom and grandma (and ladies in their generation) included...were going through the same or similar things...
[quote/]
Topaz, the topic of what men did to you to deserve
being reguarded as assholes is too big to be covered here. The question you have to ask yourself is how did you wind up with these men? With the exception of our parents all the associations we have in life are by our choice. In order for someone to hurt you , they have to get close to you. How did you let that happen?
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my lil' sis went through the "that's not my baby...you must have been fucking someone else" bullshit with my neices fathers...and has to raise the girls by herself 'cause of those deadbeat lowlives...
[quote/]
Get a DNA test. That should put the question to rest.
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i've had my heart broken on more than one occation...by lying mother fuckers...giving me the "baby...i love you"...and "we could be good together..."crap...only to find out that he was fucking someone else the whole time we were together...
[quote/]
Do you have the arrogance to say you're the only one that that's happened to? Men don't have their hearts broken? My first five gf's all cheated on me. Do you think I didn't hear those same lines?
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and...i've also dealt with tired ass mother fuckers that think that all women should be their sex slaves (or just wait on them hand and foot)...and that it's alright to do whatever they want to women...that women should get used to it...and it's cool to have a wife...a girlfriend...and a ho....his woman should just understand that...but let the woman start creeping...he would be gone in a heartbeat....
[quote/]
I've had to deal with women who think it is the job of men to placate them. I've dealt with women who just use men to get them where they want to go. There are people of all types, all beliefs, all mentalities.
That's our job on earth, to set the ones who are aberant, straight. I just take it from a different angle than you do.
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(i've also dealt with guys that think that all women are gold digging whores...but when i turned down their advances...i got call a lesbian bitch...what...the...hell...)
[quote/]
Well if they think they are then they should be avoiding them right? Right or wrong everyone has the right to their own opinion. If someone calls me a male chauvanist I'd tell them that they're wrong and inquire as to what lead them to that conclusion. They usually do not chose to engage me and leave. If someone thinks you are a gold digger I'd think they'd leave on their own accord, unless they like that type.
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i'm trying not to hate men...but it's getting very difficult...
[quote/]
Believe it or not, I don't hate anyone. I believe everyone wants to be liked. They just have problems trying to accomplish it. Good luck to you dealing with this issue. I'm glad you spoke up. It took courage. ;D
:meditate:
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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Originally Posted by Emily link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57280#msg57280 date=1071877833
you are assuming the man-hating strippers didn't hate men before they started dancing, which is a large leap in logic for your argument.
Try again.
No, I'm not assuming man hating strippers didn't hate men before they started dancing. I'm theorizing why those who did start hating men after they started dancing did so. If women hated men before they started dancing, why did they get in a profession that relys upon mens' support to succeed? So they can say they are slaves to men?
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Men are angry because they can't get women for free, yet women now have the same rights and can make the same, if not more, money as men...oversimplification...
Guys want it all handed to them. We're raised to believe "love wins" above all like in the romantic movies, and the truth is, women want to sleep with the wild, bad boy, and use the good boy for his resources despite the fact that we are no longer completely financially dependant upon men.
I believe that the feminist movement has caused men to be confused on what the role of the women is and should be. Meanwhile, the role of men has not really changed. This harbors uncertainty, discomfort, and resentment. Hopefully, this will change, because I know MANY MANY more men that hate women, than the opposite effect.....
just a nutshell thought, this is a really complicated issue ;)
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=1;threadid=5354;start=msg57247#msg57247 date=1071871965
Ugh.
What she said. Most of us don't hate men.
To add a little more food for thought, I look at the men vs women thing like this: In a world where men always have and always will have most of the 'power', sex, or the idea of it, is the one major equalizer women can use to level the playing field, or even tilt it to their favor. Those of us who learn how and have the 'balls' to use it get ostracized by other women and men alike. We have to get tough to deal with that, and then we are called 'man-haters'.
Bridgette, I'm addressing the ones that do hate men. You seem to see the profession as that of one of a battle or barter between the two sides. I just wanted to know the reasons why women formulate a hated for men as a result of engaging in their profession.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Ugh :banghead:
I think most of the ladies here answered you question.... NOT ALL STRIPPERS/WOMEN HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We just hate the disrepect. and yes i agree with katrine this is a complicated issue.
Why the hell can't you just leave it at that! I mean if you feel that the strippers that YOU come across hate you/men then ask THEM.
Seraya.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Deogol, I applaud you. Thanks for all your input. I wish you would contribute more than simply lurking. I am in the least offended.
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
Dreamer...I totally agree with Seraya...if you meet a stripper who hates men, simply ask her why...otherwise the girls here who have answered your question, have told you repeatedly that they don't hate men...why keep beating a dead horse?
\
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Re:Why do strippers hate men.
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i share my thoughts...and you once again feel the need to tear them apart...i must kabong you...
:twak: ...kabong
and the desire to work on my 'man hating' issue...has disappeared...for some odd and mysterious reason...
[quote/]
The reason is is that you feel comfortable with man hating.
Topaz, what I have given you is my feedback to your comments. It's my personal reaction, my analysis of the situation. If you consider that tearing apart then anyone who replies in any way to your comments should be considered tearing apart as well. THat means the only ones who support your comments are the silent ones.