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Too Shy???
In 2 days I'm supposed to audition.... I cancelled, (it's my 2nd month off the pill, and as luck would have it, this is the 2nd time in march i've had the delight of getting my period!)... but anyway my audition is next saturday....
So I told 1 of the guys that I work with... (Nick) I've known him for about a year and a half now, he's a cool guy. I told him I was auditioning, and he says to me "Ya know alot of guys go in there looking for Barbie and your just not a barbie doll".... That I didn't mind b/c I'm a confident girl and I know there are guys (and girls) who find me gorgeous and there are some that don't.... that comment irratated me, but i didn't take it to heart...
But here's the part that bothered me... he comes into my office sits and sits at my desk... ask i walk in he says "Dance for me!" I laughed at first, and then he's like seriously don't you want a guys opinion...
Well I laughed it off again... I just couldn't do it, maybe b/c the barbie comment made me feel insecure, maybe b/c I was in jeans and a big sweatshirt, maybe b/c I had my period, or is it because i was too shy????
I don't know it has been bothering me all week!!! I'm not a stripper, but my question is for those who are, should I have been able just to turn it on out of nowhere????
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Re:Too Shy???
Naomi, if you didnt feel comfortable, then of course you couldnt just "turn it on." For some reason, I can dance for strangers, but when I was with my bf, I couldnt do it for him. Maybe thats the same case for you. Only when I was a lil' tipsy could I do it for him.
About the Barbie comment, take it with a grain of salt. I know tons of guys who DO love the look, and tons who dont. Being a barbie has its ups of course, but so does NOT being one. Im not one, and I get enough guys who love my look.
I think your like me...sh*t like that irritates me only cause people try to put you down, but NOT straight up, and you feel like saying, "WTF???" Grrr
Dont take it personal, he probably didnt mean it that way. :(
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Re:Too Shy???
My stripper persona is very different from my day-to-day self. Technically I could flip back and forth between the two, but I would prefer not to. You can't just take someone from one area of your life and stick them into another. That guy has no idea what dancing is about (especially assuming "most guys" are looking for Barbie. MOST GUYS are looking for pussy and a sexy smile). I am sure you will find the confidence to turn it "on" when you get to your audition, mostly because you will be prepared. I mean who feels sexy in jeans and a sweatshirt? I would never strip for my friends. I might give them a taste of a lapdance when we are all drunk, but that's just for fun. ;)
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Re:Too Shy???
My boyfriend has been studying to be a counselor. Occasionally someone will be like "X is having a problem. Go talk to them. Counsel." You can't just turn that sort of thing on and off. And the same with stripping, just because someone says "hey you, strip" doesn't mean you should do it nor does it have any bearing on whether or not you'll be a good or confident stripper once you're on stage. The guy sounds like a dork who's trying to capitalize on having a stripper friend.
And a note, I don't think there's is one girl at my work that fits the 'barbie' persona, so don't worry about THAT. If the unbarbie look works for you, you're fine.
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Re:Too Shy???
Don't worry. Dancing in front of some friend who says "Dance for me" is WAY different than when you're in your costume, on the stage w/ the lights and the music. You'll be fine!
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Re:Too Shy???
He made a comment about you not being Barbie, but then wanted a dance from you. Jerk.
You may lose some friends and people may start to treat you differently when they find out that you dance. There have been some threads about this.
Edit to add: I can't dance in front of people I know either. Especially not my boyfriend. I've tried but couldn't get into it because it felt like work.
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Re:Too Shy???
Also, it's totally inappropriate for him to expect you to dance sexily at your office for him. I would have been really pissed about that--it sounds like he was pushy with you. I'm glad you didn't dance for him--and you shouldn't have. Tell him that if he wants to see you dance, he'll have to buck up like everyone else and pay to see you at the club. Unless you don't want him seeing you dance, in which case you should tell him where he can shove it.
A lot of guys get really skeevy when they find out their female friends are exotic dancers. They no longer think of them as "Betty, my friend" but "some hot piece of ass" or someone without the right to be respected.
Good luck! I was really nervous before I danced, too, but I sort of jumped right into it so I didn't have a long time to think about it.
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Re:Too Shy???
It all comes with practice. It's really hard to get the mood going in an office, that's for sure. You'll feel more like doing the "whole stripper thing" when you get to the club and have your outfit on, etc. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine.
About the Barbie thing...I prefer dancing between 2 "barbies"...helps me stand out a bit... :)
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Re:Too Shy???
Hey Girls!!! Thankyou sooooo much!!!! Your replies were unanimous... I really was overly dwelling the whole situation, but seriously thanks for all of your advice!!!!
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Re:Too Shy???
Pixie is right! He was doing what alot of people will do when they find out you are a dancer, which is why it's best not to tell anyone who doesn't need to know. He was being disrespectful and demeaning to you, and completely inappropriate. Of course you are going to feel uncomfortable if some jerk expects you to dance and put on a show for him at his whim, as if you are just some peice of meat for his entertainment. Is he going to think its okay to slap you on the ass by the water cooler now? Afterall, you are just some stripper, right?
Time to set some boundries with that dude, Do Not let him treat you that way! Put him in his place before everyone at your office finds out, and don't tell any one else about you dancing. Guys like that seriously piss me off.
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Re:Too Shy???
Your friend sounds a little confused...he says most guys are not looking for "non-Barbie" girls...but I guess he still wanted to see ya naked! go figure! I look nothing like Barbie and i do just fine...like the other girls said, each guy is into something totally different. There are girls in my club who i wouldn't consider hot at all and i see guys become infatuated with them night after night. I have guy friends who told me I couldn't be a stripper because my boobs were too small...then after i started making money i laughed at them and took them out to dinner haha it feels good to proved people wrong sometimes. No matter what you do someone is always gonna put you down/discourage you, you have to do what makes you happy. I say go for it. By the way I don't think your friend deserves to see you naked! Whenever you start dancing let him come into the club and BUY some dances...but charge him double ;) good luck