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Work dating, no.
Tonight one of our security guys asked me out and even though I dealt with it like would normally turn someone down (not interested, am seeing someone else anyway), I felt actually incredibly offended. I had a problem with our DJ asking me out repeatedly a couple of months ago too. I hate that. On the one hand, I feel like I'm a grown-up naked lady and should be able to deal with unwanted attention... one the other, we put up with so much crap from customers all night, don't you think the men who are our support staff should be, you know, supportive? Not looking for dates? It makes me totally uncomfortable.
Plus, I'd rather not date anyone who's already seen me naked.
I should say I am friendly with the guys who work with me, but definitely NOT flirty or encouraging in that way. There should be some kind of policy against them hitting on us.
Thoughts?
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Re:Work dating, no.
I totally agree! I have never dated a coworker from the club. Alot of girls have and I've seen it get really ugly. Call me crazy, but it seems that the possiblity of drama could skyrocket!
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Re:Work dating, no.
I had a dj ask me out once, he left a note in my regular shoes. I just tried to pretend it didnt happen and if he approched me verbaly I would have just turned him down normally. the note was a good idea because then he didnt have to face rejection flat out.
he shouldnt have asked you out at all, he is your co-worker and at best it can irritate you and possibly make the situation uncomfortable. did he know about the dj thing?
and I agree on the not dateing someone whoes already seen you naked, especilly doing provocative moves and such......
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Re:Work dating, no.
I don't think there will ever be a policy against it. 99% of the guys in the business got that job just for the pu**y.
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Re:Work dating, no.
actually I have know a few dj's that just wanted a job with music, one wouldnt even look at the stage, he would sit and strum his guitar, he had it set up on a headset so that only he could hear it......
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Re:Work dating, no.
I am currently dating a bouncer at the club I dance at. I have been dancing for nine years......this is the first time I've ever dated a coworker. Knowing what I know now, if the bouncer and I ever break up........he will be the last person I ever date at work! You'd be amazed at the drama that gets created......I have to deal with waitresses and other dancers flirting and throwing themselves at him. For the most part I bite my tounge, though I have taken up the issue with him on several occasions. He says that there is no reason to worry.....though I do trust him, I am still weary. We have a great relationship going on.....but he is around other bouncers, managers, and djs that are known for playing around at work, if you know what I mean.
All in all, unless you like incessant drama and worrying on a daily basis.........don't date a guy that works with you! I love my guy to death, but sometimes I do question if the relationship is worth all the bs that I've had to endure from other women at the club......
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Re:Work dating, no.
The club I work at regularly seems to be made up of a bunch of couples, bartender married to the door guy, two dancers are owners wives, two managers are seeing dancers, one of those couples is engaged. Two cash cage girls are dating bouncers. I think only the Dj's aren't dating anyone else at this club. And one of the DJ's recently broke off with a dancer there.
I'm half thinking that if my hubby wants a job there he may have a really good chance of getting hired just because he is already married to a dancer :thinking:.
Ironicly they have a rule about no s.o's allowed in the club during a dancer's or employee's shift. Apperntly this rule holds no water, and is used only to push out the occasional jealous boyfriend or girlfriend etc.
I am tending to agree that dating a coworker is a bad idea. The only exception is that if you can work somewhere else if the relationship goes bad. Or vice versa.
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Re:Work dating, no.
Dating in any job setting is a bad idea, but can also be a lot of fun!!!! A place I used to work at always had drama going on, it was always funny and entertaining, then again I wasn't the one in the center of it.
I agree with the guys just wanting pussy and not dating anyone who has seen you in such a naked sexually dancing manner.
If you become friends with a bouncer and have major chemistry it might be ok to start a little something. I know a few guys who work as bouncers at different events. They are some of the nicest guys i have ever known, they just happen to be big guys. I also know some who bounced and got tons of girls from their club. Yuck.
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Re:Work dating, no.
I generally don't think it's a good idea to date or mess around with anyone you work with, whether it's a bouncer, DJ, manager, or another dancer. If things don't work out, then you have to see that person all the time at work and it could be awkward.
Jealousy is a big issue in the strip club industry too. Male strip club employees often act flirty with the dancers; it comes with the job. If a dancer is dating or screwing one of the bouncers, DJs, or managers and she thinks that he's paying more attention to another dancer than he is to her, things can get ugly. I've seen it happen.
I think once in a while relationships between co-workers do work out, but more often than not they don't, at least not what I've seen.
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Re:Work dating, no.
I don't agree that there should be a policy about asking dancers out - people around each other will tend to be attracted...
But if he gives you any trouble, now that you have politely turned him down, I would suggest taking it to management. Don't let it turn into the problem that you had with the DJ, if management can help you avoid that...
and if they don't, reconsider your club. It's text-book sexual harrassment if management is aware that you are receiveing unwanted advances from another employee, and does nothing about it.
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Re:Work dating, no.
i heard on a movie the other day:
"dont get your meat where you make your bread"
i just like the phrasing......
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Re:Work dating, no.
A more succinct phrasing. It's a law of nature:
"Don't shit where you eat."
Vulgar, but it's the same sentiment.
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Re:Work dating, no.
If you are a dancer and 100% comfortable with it, why should you have a problem dating a guy who has seen you naked?
Realistically as a dancer the best chance of having a hassle free relationship is in getting involved with someone who understands and is comfortable with the business.
If you like the guy(s) asking you out and don't go out with them you are being just as judgmental of people in your workplace as people who have never been to a strip club are of you as a stripper.
Now, working at a club with someone who may have relationship potential requires discreetness or at some point IF things work out be best if one of you works at another club.
I feel you really need to look deep inside to see if you are truly comfortable with your chosen job. If you are then a bouncer asking you out would be no different than a guy at school or anywhere else asking you out.