It;s comming to a point where I may have to tell my family what I REALLY do. I would love to hear some of your fessing up stories and results so I gain some courage.
Thanks alot. :-\
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It;s comming to a point where I may have to tell my family what I REALLY do. I would love to hear some of your fessing up stories and results so I gain some courage.
Thanks alot. :-\
why do you have to tell them? is this a must tell situation, is someone threatening to tell them first? I still havnt told my parents and ive been dancing for about 2 and a half years. They dont have a clue! heehee
It's been about 2 years for me also. She thinks I'm this lazy slug with no responsibilities, living off of my husband. She just can't understand why we're not neck deep in debt right now with our lifesyle. We live comfortably and are both in school, and we like to travel. She gets grey hair wondering where the $ comes from.
There's like 2/3 of my life that I can't tell her about. I always have to watch what I say in conversations with her. Well, I'd probably have to do that anyway (she's very conservative), but not so much. I used to have a regular part-time job during the day to tell her about, but not anymore.
What do you tell your family, Oceanblue?
i told my mom...
me;
"mom im a exotic dancer"
my mom; "why would you degrade yoursefl? why? why? why?" bullshat
along with" this is going to devestate your father, i hope you are happy.." ::)
I doubt this has helped lol...
I just tell my mom that im a cocktail waitress at my club. She believes me, she just says stuff like, "i wish you wouldnt work in a place like that but you are old enough so i cant force you to quit." and crap like that. im not scared of surprise visits either because i know she wont go in one of those places. she pretty much leaves me alone about the whole thing. i have to be careful when i talk to her too because sometimes i almost slip up. But i have a part time job during the day too so thats my only legit reason for having money according to her. Im also way to good at lying.
My mom constantly peppers me with "do you want your daughter to know that you were a stripper?"
And I tell her that that's my problem, not hers. Her problem is how she feels about it, and that's her problem alone.
Then we don't talk for a while. Heh.
Kali
If you explain to your parents that is is only a job to you, than most will surprise you. You have to be an adult and talk like an adult though.
I told my parents that I danced after about a month of doing the "job". They were understanding when I explain the reasons to them and why I wanted to dance. Alot of people would be surprised to find out how accepting their parents are when they tell them the truth.
I heard that bs from my mom such as "How could you go any lower?" It really caused some arguements. I just recently told my bro. I didn't know what he would say, considering he is more conservative than I. He just said "More power to ya'" and told my mom she had nothing to worry about, that nothing bad goes on in sc. My bro rocks! Since then my mom has taken a new attitude concerning my stripping. All in all, I'm glad I told them. It feels so much better to let it out than to live in the closet, even if it isn't acceptable to them.
That was my point Erotictonic. People are more apt. to accept things that they are not happy with when they are told the truth. Lying is not the answer. They is just my view though so you can take it with a grain of salt or with sugar. Personally I like sugar better!!! lol
My mother is a methodist minister, so you would think that she would react badly to the news, but she didn't. When I told her that I was dancing, she didn't comment on it right away, just said something like "Oh, that's what you've been up to." Then about 15 minutes later said that she saw on Oprah how all kinds of women were using stripper poles to exersize, and if I could teach her some of that stuff.
I have been participating in the Miss Nude Oregon Paegent, and she called me before the show to wish me luck. She even asked if I wanted her there to help!! I told her no, of course.
I'm sorry some girl's families have a problem with this business, but I would imagine that most parents hope for something other than their daughter's stripping for a living.
I love my job, and my mom knows that I am happy (and safe, which is what she worries about most).
I might also add that I didn't tell my mom at first, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I finally did because I got tired of lying. It is very stressful to live a double life.
Lately I have found it stressful to live the double life. I used to have no problem with lying, but I really enjoy my job and would like to do it full time. I really don't care to hear what my son's babysitter and his father have to say about my job. That is the reason I don't tell them, cause I just don't want to deal with a lot of people who don't get it or are jelous of the money.
My Dad knows cause I would hint about it a lot. He is a pretty liberal guy so he just laughs and pretends not to know. Sometimes parents are happier when they don't have to know.
Maybe you could act like you just started working somewhere so that she doesn't feel betrayed by your lies.
Nine years ago, when I started dancing, I left my restaurant job(waitressing) without telling my parents.....they would sometimes go in and let me wait on them. Anyway, they went in(approx. 2 weeks after I started dancing and had quit there) and the wait staff and bartender were only too happy to tell them what I was up too! Needless to say, I was "disowned" by my father for ~1 month and my mom was forcing herself to be civil to me :(
Fast forward to now........my once conservative father jokes about going into the club to see some [email protected], while my mom just rolls her eyes! I feel very blessed to have parents who are cool about my job of choice. However, it is embarassing to hear my dad talk about going to see [email protected] :embarrassed:
Thany you all for your stories. I think it'll probably be something like "ohhhhhh!!! You're lost to me! What did I do wrong?!?!?" I'll try to tell her what she may have done right that made me confident and comfortable enough with my body to make the $ I deserve.
Thanks girls
Smartie :-*
I wont even traumatize u with me version but i will say this...just make sure that u r getting as much out of dancing and the $$$$ as u possibly can, prepare yourself for the worst reaction possible, be patient with them (expect them to go into full comatose shock) and make sure that YOU are happy. that way when the worst doesnt happen u can relax and feel good about your decision...make sense? i hope so , sorry if my answer is a little all over the place but i will talk to ya more after you get it out of the way....you will all be very,very entertained probably for quite some time with my story but i dont want to freak smartie out so it can wait. :)
I got a college degree in public accounting and hated every aspect of that profession so i decided to dance. Needless to say my father thinks that I am an accountant, and all the times ive hinted to him about dancing he told me that if I ever did that not to talk to him any more, so I think Ill be an accountant for a while longer :). My mother is okay cuz I told her slowly, and while it isnt what she wants me to do with my life she is totally cool about it. She told me shes fine with it if it makes me happy. Also my husband is fine with it and my husbands brother is married to a dancer to, so that helps alot. Of course the funny thing though is that my in laws think that we work in computers or something llike that. Its very funny when they come to visit and my sister in law is going to work (computers) but is dressed in full makeup and her hair all done prefectly and leaving for work at 9 at night . Its all hilarious.
haha, Crystal, that reminds me of this local bondage group that meets at a restuarant once a month. They always say they're a computer group. Entertaining.
Anyway, I just told my mom I got a job as a waittress. Personally, I don't think she completely believes me, but if she wants to pretend, I'll pretend, and we're all kosher. Yay.
Leading a double life is tough.
My mom found out when she was at my apartment one day and found my "cash stash".
When I told her, she flipped. We argued for months. She finally came around and accepted it.
She was ok with it as long as I agreed I wouldn't work in a nude club (which I never did) or do private shows.
The rest of my family - well, when they found out, disaster. But they never brought it up again and we are all still close and they love me regardless.
I would agree with other posts though - if they don't ask, don't tell! :D
My grandmother was the one who raised me, and has always been so supportive of whatever I do. She used to be a very refined catholic English woman, but loosened up quite a bit when she came to the U.S. She encouraged me to get my nose pierced when I was 14, then I was the one that said it made me look like white trash and took it out a few weeks later, LoL. She worries about psychos following me home and all that BS, of course. It's so funny whenever I tell her I'm going to work she's all "Shake that money-maker honey!" LoL