Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Ok I did some great experiments over the last few weeks at my club. Now I work at an upscale gown club so I don't know if this would work at every club out there but I have found the more lady like I act the more money I make which you would think would be an oxymoron but let me explain:
When I dress in a classier gown rather than a short tight dress I seem to get a better response form men or if I where a short dress with flashy jewlery and look super made up. It's like I comand respect and I am expensive so they better fork over some cash if they want my company. I also noticed I have to converse with them in a shorter amount of time to sell a dance.
For some reason when I don't use slang and keep swear words to a minimum I get a better response from white collar buisness men. ???
Belive it or not keeping the dances cleaner makes me more money! Ok we have strict rules at my club so we are somewhat expected to give air dances but I give very affectionate, close, erotic dances but I don't do grinding and I since I stoped licking my nipple I have made just as much money if not more in the past few weeks. Just being sexy and act like you are making love to the guy, making eye contact seems to keep them forget I am not dry humping them at least for me.
Grabby assholes I seem to run into less recently becuse I give them this attitude like I do not play and they better respect me or I will just walk off on them. I just grab their hand when they are touching me and say you know I am gonna give you a better dance if you behave yourself. Look them in the eye and don't smile about it. Let them know you are serious. Yeah you may only get one dance from them but you took twenty dollars from them and you go off and do five more dances for a guy that won't grab you and just stares in awe at your beauty.
I realise that this will not work in every club expecialy high contact ones but for no contact clubs I think this might be something some dancers might want to consider I had a conversation about this at my club with some of the dancers who make the most consistant money. They may not make the most on one night but they make CONSISTANT money every day they go into work with a really bad night far and few between.
I do act lady like but it is very sexy I can't really describe how I act but it is sexy in a little teasing way. Yeah I talk about sex and sexy things with them but it is in a cute way not a sleezy way. I act like I am very attracted to them If you want a good reference of how I act at work see that '80s movie "The Big Picture" I act just like the charecter played by Teri Hatcher. Flirty/sexy giving my full attention to the man but never sleezy like.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I am really glad to hear that you can pull this off. Go talk to ginamarie in the Newbie forum, she needs this advice--even if it is harder to pull off in a high-contact environment. I just posted there, and if I had seen this first I would have posted the link to it!
There are always a lot of guys who just want sleaze, but there are thankfully some who like a class act a lot more. Not only can you make more money by going for guys like this, but you will last longer in the business, with greater peace of mind.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Assuming you are dealing with men who have at least been partially "raised right" with some manners, this should work all the time and is also how you should act in real life when out of the club. In a neighborhood bar with true motorcycle bikers this probably won't work. Being a lady does work.
Obviously your class act also serves as a "shield" as you have pointed out against grabby assholes.
I have learned that sometimes women are trapped in the environment they are in and the upbringing and atmosphere around them. Looks like you have found the ticket out. And it's not easy acting like a lady, but soon you will find you are a lady.
Just a comment from a middle age former classy business professional who falls for ATF's who are classy... and whose class dancers can talk on issues and other things than nude dancing.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Is this upscale high maintenance personna working with average smoe customers or only with the older professional types?
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I have also found this to be true. I have heard that some guys think of it is the ultimate in unattainable when a girl wears nice jewelry and wears long gowns, especially in a club where most girls are wearing skimpy costumes and dancing to rap or r&b. Try to look like some of the well dressed stars on Hollywood's red carpet. It also has a lot to do with the way you carry yourself, but be careful because there's a thin line between snobby and classy in some people's minds, so smile a lot. Also, don't ask every guy for a dance in the place. Act like you are being choosy and it's amazing how many of them will come to you and ask for a dance, whether they are blue collar construction workers or older professionals. I found that wearing a nice necklace and bracelets made of Australian Crystal works nicely. Check out the Carabella catalog for some cute things.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I am not surprised. The person who stands out is the person who is different. There is also the factor where guys say they want to see that classy woman before she leaves.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Quote:
Act like you are being choosy and it's amazing how many of them will come to you and ask for a dance, whether they are blue collar construction workers or older professionals.
Hogwash!
When you are in a high hustle environment with 100 other girls, and the men are used to being coddled, most won't come up to you even if they are interested, they want to make you "work for it."
Also, in a gown club, theoretically every woman will be dressed in a classy gown, so how would someone stand out then?
I do get lots of attention when I wear a long gown, but in the end, I attract a variety of customers with a range of personalities no matter what I wear....thus I will approach anyone. If a stripper has to be choosy, she is in the wrong profession!
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I'd love to try a long gown. Some girls look incredibly stunning in long gowns, but I'm only 5'3". I don't know if I can pull it off. :-\ Classic white boy-beater tank tops and little cherry shorts seem to have been working for me. I just got a Harley Davidson white tank to wear with some itty bitty bottoms and a cap. Hope it works out. I think I'll try to get a gown, though. And a beautiful choker. And I'll wear my hair up. Maybe it will work for me, maybe not. Also, we don't seem to get too many business men who appreciate things like that.
I can understand why the white-collar guys like the long gowns and beautiful jewels. It's because those things are classy, and most white-collar men have very refined tastes in things! Keep up the good job!
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I am really impressed with your post and think you are absolutely right. When you act like a lady you will be treated like one. It goes with the whole notion that people will treat you the way you let them treat you. I have worked in clubs where there were very lenient rules and clubs where they are quite stringent, like the one I am at now. I notice that at clubs where the guys cannot touch at all, they complain about it but they treat the dancers with more respect. The dancers are more of a fantasy to them and they seem to get more dances, always hoping, I guess, that the next dance will lead to something more naughty... That is where I am most happy to remain, as a fantasy girl. Anything more than that ventures into a very grey, yucky area.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Now if i had suggested something like this for dancers the replies would have been different.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I've always noticed in a club full of booty-shorts and fishnet minidresses I do so well with a full length gown. :) People generally think of me as "innocent looking" wherever I am, part of that is that I'm young and such, but also I don't swear, or drink [oh my, when I see this one dancer swigging on a budweiser I wanna yelp] , and am generally cheerful. Hopefully, you shouldn't have to go up to every guy in the place, guys should be lining up as soon as "that guy" is done getting a dance! You look 'in demand' and everyone wants to know why. I've had this happen, and yes, it rawks. But then again, the most girls I have to compete against is 30, not 100.
Hey, Jay, how do you bring up current events? The only time I ever talked with a customer about current events it was because he got there early and it was on the tv. I'd love to talk about something besides the club, but I don't want to just plop down and say "Hi! Are you voting for Bush this year?" or something silly like that.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Tina it seems to work with everyone latley not just white collar. It seems I spend most of the time dancing for men who respect me( who by the way are not all white collar) that when I see blue collar rednecks grabbing on girls I am too busy dancing for respectful men to even go over and ask those pigs for dances before they leave and we have a whole new room. For the record though if a guy lightly touches my thighs or arms I do not freak out and I allow it. Personaly it does not bother me. But if he just trys to fondle me through out the whole dances I push his hands away and let him know he can't do that with me. :D
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Quote:
Originally Posted by exoticdancerwear link=board=27;threadid=9223;start=msg109848#msg109 848 date=1084691761
Now if i had suggested something like this for dancers the replies would have been different.
I suspect you would have phrased it differently, and you would have thrown in a bunch of other stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna Maiden link=board=27;threadid=9223;start=msg109855#msg109 855 date=1084694565
Hey, Jay, how do you bring up current events? The only time I ever talked with a customer about current events it was because he got there early and it was on the tv. I'd love to talk about something besides the club, but I don't want to just plop down and say "Hi! Are you voting for Bush this year?" or something silly like that.
It wouldn't work for a quick three-minute eval before popping The Question.
However, if you're camping with him because nobody's buying anyway and you might as well try to build a customer relationship, then I think you'd work it in other ways.
You: "What do you like to do in your spare time?" (Less intrusive question than what's-your-job.)
He: "Play golf, tend goats, and go to Sierra Club meetings."
You: "Oh, Sierra Club! So whatever happened to Paul Erlich? Did he change his name to Ralph Nader at some point?'
Or....
He: "Play golf."
You: "Oh, I have a Republican friend who plays golf. But he still likes Lieberman, and I myself think Lieberman is such a steaming pile of vanilla Yankee love! Did the primaries come out like you thought they would?"
Maybe something like that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilac666 link=board=27;threadid=9223;start=msg109862#msg109 862 date=1084699936
For the record though if a guy lightly touches my thighs or arms I do not freak out and I allow it.
I've had very ladylike dancers sit next to me, press their legs to mine, play subtle footsie with their toes on my leg, lean against me as they're talking, or brush their fingertips up and down my thigh as we talk, and it's a pretty effective technique. I do recognize it as a technique, and I do recognize that it works.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
People will usually treat you the way you treat yourself. If you treat yourself with respect, others will too, as long as you don't project attitude. If you act trashy, others will treat you like trash. Appearances and manners count. That's pretty true in all walks of life, not just strip joints. If you're well dressed you will almost always get treated better than if you look like a slob, no matter where you go, unless you act like a snob.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
To exotica17: I'm also 5'3" and when I wear my long gown, I feel it actually makes me look taller. Because it's long and one piece, I feel towering, especially when that dress is capping off my 7" heels. Also, if you can find one with a really low back, it can be super lengthening from behind.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Yay, okay, I gotta try a gown for sure.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
ah-ha you've discovered the secret to big money ;)
And dressing up in Oscar style glamour on a regular basis doesn't hurt either, does it ;D
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
I agree with what you say about self respect. It does a woman good to put herself mentally in a high poition. People will treat a woman like this better. This does not promise that everybody else will respect you though. The customers are variables. Some will be very kind and generous, some will be kind and not pay much, some will be asses, etc. It's like that in any environment. A woman who repects herself recognizes this and works with it. It does not affect her as much because customers can't be the determining indicator of her self confidence. She just knows she is well and fine. No one can take that away from her. Indeed it is very powerful.
Gowns do work very well! It's quite a transformation that happens in the dressing room before a shift. If you do it right, you can sit in front of the mirror and play with your look until you feel stunning. You see the fruits of your work and rake in the cash. Because you are beautiful and completely deserving of it. Gowns are a good idea. But you can look spectacular in all kinds of different outfits. I use latex and pvc outfits. It can be pulled off, just keep an open mind.
Re:Acting like a lady: Somethig I have noticed
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katrine link=board=27;threadid=9223;start=msg109837#msg109 837 date=1084686824
Quote:
Act like you are being choosy and it's amazing how many of them will come to you and ask for a dance, whether they are blue collar construction workers or older professionals.
Hogwash!
When you are in a high hustle environment with 100 other girls, and the men are used to being coddled, most won't come up to you even if they are interested, they want to make you "work for it."
Also, in a gown club, theoretically every woman will be dressed in a classy gown, so how would someone stand out then?
Geez, I guess my comment was misinterpreted! I don't work in a gown club, thus the comment about other dancers wearing skimpy costumes and the type of music they dance to. I work with + or - 20 or so other girls on the weekends, so there aren't 100 or so of us. It's not as high hustle as where you work apparently, so the girl in the gown with the nice jewelry definitely stands out. I can, of course, see how this wouldn't work in a club where everyone looks like that.