Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
1- You can only lift 2 pounds max.
2- You are always up early in the morning.
3- You are always trying to find a reason to endup in the bushes.
4- You are not allowed to stand up in the church.
5- Your face looks like the faces of million others like you.
6- It takes you 15 years to learn how to stand. And the first time you try to stand, you fall down within seconds.
7. You're bald your whole life.
8. You have a hole in your head.
9. Your neighbors are nuts.
10. The guy behind you is an asshole.
11. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then
faint.
11. You have a head with no brains, and
12. An eye that can't see.
Re:Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
1- You can only lift 2 pounds max.
A penis lifts? Cuz, damn, i could have used that on "Move knicknacks day, since you women are damn near all so obsessed with Unicorns and plaster faeries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
2- You are always up early in the morning.
This is true, unless the landlady wakes you up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
3- You are always trying to find a reason to endup in the bushes.
Um, yeah. You got me there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
4- You are not allowed to stand up in the church.
Yes you are. Who looks at a penis in CHURCH?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
5- Your face looks like the faces of million others like you.
Penines are evil. No penii for me. Evil evil evil!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
6- It takes you 15 years to learn how to stand. And the first time you try to stand, you fall down within seconds.
Actually, i disagr... wait... it fell...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
7. You're bald your whole life.
yes, but would you wand a hairy penis in you? Seriously, what if it sheds. Tweezers have enough uses, no need to wish more on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
8. You have a hole in your head.
I have five actually. Now, none of them gives me the enjoyment that the one on the other side of my body does... but that's neither here nor there. Did I mention that that i look like Brad Pitt only with darker hair and have a penis the size of a watermelon?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
9. Your neighbors are nuts.
DOH.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
10. The guy behind you is an asshole.
ASSDOH'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
11. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then
faint.
Not if you train yourself. I could turn you on to some folk who could tell you otherwise. Should I brag, nahh...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nina link=board=1;threadid=9402;start=msg112385#msg1123 85 date=1085132227
11. You have a head with no brains, and
12. An eye that can't see.
Um, that eye can sure see what's important to it. :D
Re:Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
Madcap...
<<A penis lifts? >>
Have you ever seen "The Incredible Mr. Lifto" from the Jim Rose Circus?
Re:Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
You have a desire to explore dark wet tunnels.( but you can only go in 6 inches before you get pulled out.
You constantly have to lie about your size.
You get slapped and jerked for no apparent reason.( but if feels really really good)
You have to spend most of your time in the dark and locked up. You only get out for a few minutes at a time, and then all you see is a white wet urinal wall.
Your last name is johnson. Your first name is usually dick or peter.
If you play with other friends that look like you, you get called GAY and other names.
When you have a really really good dream, you wake up all wet.
According to the posts here, I have to pay $300 just to get someone to kiss me and $600 to explore tunnels.
Re:Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
OMG, funny! I love them, have to print them. Gosh how true, i picture this as i am reading......Ewwww.
Pamela
Re:Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
Re:Top 12 reasons not to be a penis
can we this to the warning label post???
Warning, do not open this while working in a conservative insurance office...may lead to uncontrolled hilarity resulting in strange looks and inopportune inquiries. May also lead to extra work being put on your desk as you are obviously not busy!!