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Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=1;threadid=9703;start=msg116477#msg1164 77 date=1086121702
Do some of you guys not appreciate reciprocation in a more personal form?
I guess I never really look at it that way. I don't keep a ledger and try to make sure the sides balance out. However, you do soon get the good idea on whether they're going out with you or your money. Some guys are fine with being viewed as a meal ticket. It's just not my thing. When I feel that's the case, I cool off the relationship and see what then happens. I'm a social animal and I quite honestly don't care what we do as long as it is fun and we both want to do it. However, I also realize that she will want company on some things that are not my cup of tea (i.e., chick flicks) but I do them with her because I like her and like pleasing her. I do expect the same in return (i.e., going to see the latest Terminator movie), but, again, I don't keep a ledger on it. Just an overall feeling about how the relationship is developing.
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I mean cooking dinner may not be as expensive (although some home-cooked dinners are pretty costly) as a nice dinner out, but it takes time and effort and thought to prepare.
Being a bachelor, I really do appreciate home-cooked meals. Given my food allergies (too many to list here), I don't eat out at restaurants anymore. If we go out to a restaurant, I'll order a pop and chat while she eats. If she's uncomfortable with me not having food in front of me, I'll order some cheap salad and then just not touch it ... or order a dish that one shares (i.e., platter of finger food). However, because I cook all my own food (a.k.a. Ramen noodles), there's no quicker way to my heart than a healthy home-cooked meal (one that even has those exotic things called "vegetables") that I didn't have to cook myself. Well, that's not completely true. It's the quickest way to my heart IF you leave out of that equation her undressing. ;)
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But generally speaking, when going out with a guy, he is always the one who asks me out and he pays.
Which in my book is the right thing to do. Asker pays.
I would just like to suggest giving the idea of asking him out a try and see if it improves your enjoyment of life.
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Oh and another thing. I expect a guy to open the doors for me, pull my seat out and let me go first. That doesn't mean he gets to beat the shit out of me if I do something he doesn't like, or otherwise take out aggression on me. It just means I am a lady and expect to be treated as such. Men and women, no matter how modern and 'enlightened' we become, will always be different. There will always be gender roles, no matter how much some may dislike them.
Guys around here are cautious about doing such gentlemanly things. Madison, Wisconsin, USA (where I live) is an anti-male feminist stronghold. Personally, I try to gauge what the woman appreciates and expects. However, I've had women I don't even know shout at me as being an "oppressor" when I open the door for my date. I just ignore them. Only one has ever refused to be ignored and walked up behind me to confront me on my "oppressor" behavior. She started to rant and before I knew what was going on and said anything, my date ripped into the woman for butting her nose into something that was none of her business. They exchanged a few choice words and the ranter went off in a huff. My date turned to me, gave me a kiss, and, as I was still holding the door to the restaurant open, walked in ahead of me and nothing more was said of the incident.
In this day and age of overt anti-male feminism, you need to not take gentlemanly behavior for granted or the guy might assume you don't want it and are simply being quiet about it to not rock the boat. However, you do not need to say anything more than "thank you" ... and not even that for you can just give him a smile and/or kiss for doing it and you'll receive more of the same.