a poem i wrote for a dancer
I am a poet and have been writing seriously for several years. I have credits in Lummox from San Pedro, Wanderingdog an online journal run by an editor in England, Words, Words, Words an online journal run by an editor in Canada, and in Babel an online journal.
I have been around the strip scene for a couple of years now and have had some experiences of which to write about. This particular piece I wrote for a lady dancer of whom I was attempting to meet on the outside of the club. The only thing was, I didn't know I had made such an impact on her that when I had another dance by another, the poem created boundaries of which I didn't expect.
Any thouhts or comments are welcome......thanx
UNDER MY SKIN
This tingling I feel
Every time I am with you
Is likely to not go away.
And when I look
Into those eyes,
I see a new beginning.
Take me by the hand,
Because I know your touch
Overcomes me.
I feel so much better,
It’s as if
You surround me
With feeling comfortable
As my walls fall.
Spin me around on the dance floor
In this world we call life,
So that I can
Come out of my skin.
Tell me tomorrow
Is anything but an ordinary day,
Because who likes
Complicated ways
That has no purpose.
Tattoo my heart
With your smile,
Because you leave
Seduction
Raging
Under my skin.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
I am curious to see how the ladies react to this poem.
I am terrible at expressing myself in writing or with words (but I am good at expressing myself with my hands ... guess that is why I do what I do for a living, it lets me be creative with my hands without having to try to form complete sentences - LOL).
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
I think the poem was sweet and deep. I dont know how your dancer reacted, but its pretty and sounds like something someone would feel in the same kind of situation. Some people do get that kind of connection.
Sometimes they are bad, and sometimes good. I cant tell how much of it is for you, but its sweet. I hope she enjoyed it.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
I love poems guys write about a woman he knows. My ex wrote some poems, they are very nice. Some very deep. All different kinds...feelings, sad at times.
I think your poem is very very nice, deep. I had to read it a few times to feel it, because i can read into this poem a few different ways it seems.
Beautiful. Wish i could write.
Pamela
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
Literary-minded as I am, I yet have no appreciation for poetry. Not all women do. This has a lyric quality to it, amply expressing emotion and images in a somewhat raw yet powerful manner. Good use of key words. That's about as good a poetry critique as you'll ever get out of me; none but dearest D.H. Lawrence and Shakespeare could ever wring poetic appeal from my prosaic soul.
On another note, writing poems especially for and inspired by a certain lady has traditional romantic connotations. To you in the role of a customer, she is inappropriately behaving like a jealous girlfriend. To her in the role of a muse, her poet has abandoned her for other, sweeter desires.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
It's definitely pretty.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
oh wrote this one for a dancer. for some reason she's been avoiding me since:
I see your snatch and it smells like fish
I think of it and I really wish
I could fill you full of sweet white cum
And then stick my finger in your bum
You pull away with great haste
So I whip it out and blow it on your face.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
OMFG
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
also, i wrote this one for a dancer i hoped would become an extras dancer. but i haven't told it to her yet:
Girls are pigs in denial
I say we hold a trial
If you get her drunk and alone
Her true side comes out and tugs on your bone
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
gasping for breath
cheeks hurt.
keep pounding away
stick my face in the dirt.
slam it on home.
listen to me moan
my body's rubbed raw,
I've got lockjaw
your cock's in my ass
but I've got your cash,
nothing's for free
with a whore like me
edited to clarify - this one was a collaboration with sandy
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
i'm all alone
just me and my vibe
and my thoughts are taken me
on a wild ride
i'm thinking of a boat
full of horny strippers
full of fuckers and suckers
and fingerers and lickers
a boat in rhode island
with tee's by blade
but everyone's naked,
bodies and limbs flayed
atop one another
too many to count
it's stripperfest 04
or what amounts
to an orgy-a-rama
that i'm gonna miss
so it's me and my vibe
and nary a kiss
except in my dreams
when Rhia is here
(and this I say with a
nasty leer)
but you all are invited
to join my tonight
we'll love-y long time
till dawn's first light
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
It sounds like a bad Neil Diamond song, but what do I know.
Don't listen to criticism, do your thing, just be prepared for her to vomit/laugh till she cries if you recite it to her.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
I just got into work and saw this....
I shouldnt be laughing this hard this early in the morning....people in my office are looking at me like im crazy for laughing for what looks like no reason.
Re:a poem i wrote for a dancer
Poem for you
I sit at the bar and view your act for free
you scream YOU BETTER TIP ME
I drop down my buck
while you pretend to give a fuck
You show me your tits
I laugh at your zits
After you're done I grab a dance
on the way to the back I unzip my pants
When you look down and see my exposed cock
you tell me I would be better off using a sock
For 20 bucks you ain't givin me a hummer
I go home and jerk off...this day was a bummer!