Re:bad stripping experience
jesus christ. Uhm, no, strip clubs are nothing like that, but I highly suggest you work through this before starting stripping. It can be really tough on you, and you don't want to be in an emotionally wrecked state while dancing, especially when you first start.
Maybe talk to someone about it? It was sexual assualt, and not something to be taken lightly.
Plus those guys were major assholes.
Re:bad stripping experience
Start by not putting yourself in that position to be with. They did not become "gross horny guys". They were that to begin with. It certainly is not your fault, per se, but 15 guys in a hotel room with an attractive woman (friend or not) is going to yield that sort of response. And from what I have read on this board, it isn't a lot different from what you will receive in treatment when dancing...except that there will be bouncers there to beat them.
Re:bad stripping experience
Not to be catty, but what were you two females doing with 15 males in a hotel room? ??
That doesnt make the situation you went through OK, but dont ever put yourself in that kind of position. Shit, if ONE guy inappropriately touches you in a SC you can have his ass booted out.
? Good luck, and dont do that again. Next time, just audition and you'll see its much safer.
Re:bad stripping experience
"They did not become "gross horny guys". They were that to begin with." <--- EXACTLY!
Yeah why were you there to begin with?? Dont EVER put yourself in that kind of a situation. If there are going to be 2 girls and 15 guys then that should tell you somethings fishy.
Re:bad stripping experience
Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry that happend to you! That is definitly not what goes on at a club (or at least, it shouldn't!). You have every right to feel violated! As the other girls said, that IS sexual assult! I suggest that you seek out a friend, or even a counsler, someone who can understand and help you get through your horrible experience! Those men were PIGS!!! If I had been there they would have lost each one of those fingers that they were putting in the wrong places! ;)
Feel better, and if you wanna talk, I'm here.. just PM me!
;D
Paige
Re:bad stripping experience
Bad judgement leads to bad shit happening.
I am sorry it happened. I hope you can get some help from people you can trust to work through the feelings. You can't undo it, you will have to work through it.
Take care of yourself.
Re:bad stripping experience
Thats just wrong...unfortunately i know a similar story to that with some of my friends....not as bad...but still shitty.
I'd stay away from those so called "friends"....b/c no real friend would treat a friend that way.
Good luck in the future....all you can do is use this as a learning experience.
Re:bad stripping experience
I don't understand why you and a gf hung with 15 guys at a hotel room? Maybe that would help clear up what was going on. Also was anyone drinking? And why couldn't you stop after you felt uncomfortable? A trance?
I don't understand.
I don't say this was your fault at all. But by allowing them to continue without saying no, or stop, they may have felt this was all ok.
Maybe you need to talk this out with your friends, find out what happened.
Good luck, and feel better.
Pamela
Re:bad stripping experience
I've been to parties when the girl-to-guy ratio is 1:4, and as bad as 1:8 - Lots of alcohol and other substances, but I knew most of the guys. Nothing even remotely inappropriate happened. Though I'll agree they didn't suddenly become gross and horny, it is certainly not out inappropriate to expect them to not sexually assault someone.
Re:bad stripping experience
UH-OH8:
The trance state that you describe is actually a really common reaction of rape victims. My college had "laws" requiring you to actually ask, and hear verbal permission before having sex, for that reason. Some people freeze up when things get past their comfort point, and they end up not being able to say no. I am sorry if this happened to you.
But, sweetheart, I have to say that I don't think dancing is the right choice for you. You put yourself in a horrible situation and then became powerless to get out of it - and all you had to do was open your mouth, you don't know if you would have had to actually defend yourself. I think that being afraid of dancing would be a really good idea for you.
Picture this scenario: you are dancing for someone, and he tries the crap that many men will try... wants to give something a feel... what are you going to do? If the answer isn't "call a bouncer" - which clearly it isn't, in your case - this would be the wrong business. Three shifts later, when 5 guys have tried this, you let every last one of them, and got paid for it (which will only make you feel worse), I think it will take years to like yourself again. Not worth it.
Reconsider how badly and why you want to dance.
Re:bad stripping experience
I think you are NO WHERE NEAR ready to begin the journey as a dancer - it takes fortitude, a sense of precautionary effort and some maturity to recognise a situation such as the one you found yourself in as being potentially dangerous, even a dancer would take a bouncer to such a gig.
Get some life experience first, seriously.
Re:bad stripping experience
Quote:
Originally Posted by LEIGH_LANDON link=board=25;threadid=10102;start=msg122259#msg12 2259 date=1087240537
I think you are NO WHERE NEAR ready to begin the journey as a dancer - it takes fortitude, a sense of precautionary effort and some maturity to recognise a situation such as the one you found yourself in as being potentially dangerous, even a dancer would take a bouncer to such a gig.
Get some life experience first, seriously.
So true!
To uh-oh8: you sound like you might be kind of young. I was 23 when I started dancing, and even at that age I was probably a little too naive. If your "friends" did that to you, imagine what drunk strangers might try to get away with. Having bouncers nearby helps, but they aren't going to be standing over your shoulder all night long. Ultimately you have to be in charge of your customer and your body, and you have to be able to (sometimes forcefully) draw the line before things go beyond your comfort level.
If you do decide to dance someday, please don't get drunk, high, etc., because it will make it that much more difficult to take care of yourself at work.
Re:bad stripping experience
Thanks for everyones advice. To clear some things up... For most of the night it was just me and my friend and 3 other guys so it started out just fine. The problem was everyone was drinking a lot and then other guys started coming in much later. I agree that it was my fault for not telling them to stop. But now I learned my lesson and I know that I can say no. Even though it was such a sucky way to learn this lesson I'm glad I did.
Re:bad stripping experience
I'm gonna take a slightly different angle on this, sis.
If you're dancing in most clubs, then yeah, this would be outragous behavior unless you had condoned it. There are some high-milage clubs out there, and from what I'm told some of 'em get pretty close to being in-call excorts. However, you know what to expect if you work in a place like that, and nothing comes as a surprise.
However.... if you decide to do any out-call stripping (and I have, a little, and so do a lot of other girls) you'll need to learn to get the whole situation under control AT THE VERY START. Let someone who is in charge know that there are rules and boundaries, and the whole show is over the moment anyone breaks those boundaries.
At bachelor parties, for example (and I've done a few of those). Your focus is totally on the bachelor, and you can make it a part of your whole routine to do his lap dance but let them know where your boundaries are. For example, i would come out and do a little dance (but not strip yet) and then let them identify the guest of honor. I'd tell him something like I'd heard he was going to be a b-a-a-a-d boy tonite, and I was there to make sure he didn't get in too much trouble. I'd get his "friends" to tie his hands behind his back and then I'd let everyone know that ONLY the guest of honor was going to get this treatment. Then I'd strip and do a lap dance just for him. When that was over, my clothes went back on, and depending on the party I might stick around for just a few more minutes or usually I'd be right out the door.
By the way, you get paid the first minute you're in the room, if not ahead of time, or you leave. That lets you know exactly who's in charge. You tell HIM what your boundaries are, and let him know that you expect HIM to be your bouncer. Otherwise, you're out of there like a rocket.
Re:bad stripping experience
PRESS CHARGES!!!!!
GOD i am so SICK of women letting men violate them and get away with it only to let the men do it again!!! in facty, the only reason i signed up was to tell you that it is NEVER YOUR FAULT when you are sexually assaulted--the men who did it should be burned alive!!!