That Damned Raging Hard On
Okay, this happened Friday night while I was bartending.
We had a good, mixed crowd, complimented by a number of attractive females (always a good thing for a bar). However, we also had one of the pre-requisite squirrelly looking middle age guys with a bad toupee. Of course, he would turn out to be a problem.
After a few drinks, and sitting by himself (observing, no doubt), he calls me over and says he wants to send a drink to one of the women there. My policy for that is to go to the woman and ask her if she will accept the drink. That allows the woman, if she is inclined, to decline the drink without doing it directly, and it short circuits the attempts of the squirrelly men of the world (well, not always, but it helps). I ask her if she would like a drink from him, we look over and he is LEERING like a school kid over his father's Playboy. We both under our breath said "ugh". and she declines. (Good Move, ma'am).
I tell him that its a No Go, and he isn’t very happy about it, and insists I give her a drink, to which I say "Its company policy to not give a drink to someone who doesn’t want it" (in reality, its only my personal policy). About 15 minutes later he calls me over and wants to send a drink to another woman who just walked in. As much as I want to say "Okay Buddy, knock it off" I am still restricted by customer service issues because he technically hasn’t done anything wrong yet. So I go over to her, go through the same thing, and she rejects it (surprise). Again, that didn’t go over well with him and his toupee.
Of course, 15 minutes later he spies ONE MORE victim. I indulge him only because I want to see the look on his face when the third woman says "No". At this point he has become obviously more annoying then he is worth. So I don’t even go over to him. I just shake my head "No", and continue bartending.
AND THEN.. he calls me over for a FOURTH time. He wants to send a drink to the first woman who rejected him. I say to him "Dude, you have no chance with any of them, and it’s been proven. Why don’t you just leave them alone".
To which he replied, dead seriously -
"God dammit, I have such a raging hard on right now, and I need someone to take care of it".
To which I replied without missing a beat -
"Why don’t you buy your right hand a drink? I doubt that it will say No". ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
LOL.. sometimes I can be SUCH a smartass.
PJ
(PS, he didn’t like my comment ;D, but after he brought up the raging hard on thing, all bets were off. I couldn’t get in trouble even if my bosses were inclined to do so).
Re:That Damned Raging Hard On
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LOL PJ...
Gotta love men like that.. ugh!
::)
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Man,you deserve a HUGE pat on the back for that extremely clever response.KUDOS!!!
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:rotfl:
hahhaa... I don't know what's more funny - the fact that he had the courage to say "RAGING hard on" or your quick witted response.
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Oh, so male bartenders see this crap too. Thank heaven you don't have boobies, or you would have had to drink the drinks!
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LOL...I had a guy the other night who told me that he needed some hot and heavy sexual action. He talked with a southern accent and so I said, "Since your from Alabama or something, wouldn't your mother or sister take care of that for you?" He looked at me dumb-founded at which point one of the other guys piped in "Hell, honey...that's why they own farms...he's prolly got a buncha sheep for his pleasure!"
Heehee...you are such smart-ass PJ! A man after my own heart...of course, if you weren't such a damned, stinky assed, diplo dunk smurf lover, I would maybe consider giving you the time of day. :D j/k luff ya!
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Sorry if I am taking this wrongly Venus Goddess, however all the girls and males in the south do not take part in incest behavior. Sorry I just had to stand up for us southerners!
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wow, you should submit that to some lealize prostituion group or somthing... you know along the lines of 'get old ugly weirdos to stop harrasing women and wasting bartender time' campain
:D
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Great one PJ.....you'd kick ass in a stripclub in terms of setting certain people straight. ;D
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I hope if I'm ever that clueless, there's a PJ there to stop me from inflicting it on someone else.
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I think you handled it well, PJ.
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Nicely done! Keep up the good work!
If only you'd have stolen the toupee.... Then the world would be free of evil!!!!
Re:That Damned Raging Hard On
Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=1;threadid=11652;start=msg148375#msg148 375 date=1091505484
LOL...I had a guy the other night who told me that he needed some hot and heavy sexual action. He talked with a southern accent and so I said, "Since your from Alabama or something, wouldn't your mother or sister take care of that for you?" He looked at me dumb-founded at which point one of the other guys piped in "Hell, honey...that's why they own farms...he's prolly got a buncha sheep for his pleasure!"
Bah!
Or should I say Rut Ro!
Venus, I'm cancelling those checks!!!
-afx
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Btw, I once dated a "rug Dr" Not the good kind either. What was I thinkin'? He was a major jerk in restaurants, etc. :huh: Perhaps the fibers travel down the frontal lobes, causing irritation, & bad intentions?
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No offense meant, y'all...however, the part I did leave out was him bitching earlier about all the "damned, illiterate mexicans". Since I am mexican (and lithuanian) I figured I'd play his own game with him. Stereotyping doesn't work well...but, I still think it was funny. :D
Re:That Damned Raging Hard On
Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=1;threadid=11652;start=msg148703#msg148 703 date=1091564547
No offense meant, y'all...however, the part I did leave out was him bitching earlier about all the "damned, illiterate mexicans". Since I am mexican (and lithuanian) I figured I'd play his own game with him. Stereotyping doesn't work well...but, I still think it was funny. :D
No problemo! I'm just kidding around anyway. I hear so many comments regarding Alabama that I usually try to beat people to the punch. And if he was making idiotic statements, then that serves him right. If he was making idiotic statements coupled with racial slurs, then you should have escalated to physical violence - just kidding!
At any rate my mother, who is also my sister, will have very little to do with me these days; she's very busy in her hometown of Chinatown, AL. I've had my one eye on this cute little lamb at the Minnesota zoo; my curly tail wriggles with excitement at the thought of it. But i have to admit that the thread on chickens vs emus has proved provocative to say the least.
;D
-afx
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Damn PJ! Good job, there is nothing hotter than a rapier-like wit!
Btw....how many of those girls did YOU take home that night, 1, 2, or all 3????? lol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kryssy link=board=1;threadid=11652;start=msg148401#msg148 401 date=1091506705
Sorry if I am taking this wrongly Venus Goddess, however all the girls and males in the south do not take part in incest behavior. Sorry I just had to stand up for us southerners!
well sure, i guess not the deceased or orphaned...but whats the point of bringing that up? you're being somewhat insensative, dont you think kryssy?
:P
take that southerner!!!!!!!
and pj, nice fucking work dude. i always hated when jackasses wanted to buy girls a drink from accros the bar. why not just go talk to her and ask her yourself i you can buy her a drink. blah!
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That's funny right there!