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OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
Ok, I have really crossed the line now. I work at a white collar office during the day, 8:30 - 5. Very professional, I make 30K a year, and Im taken seriously, and at some point in time I will be moving up.
My boss sexually harasses me, but I dont worry about it because Im going to be moving up eventually and hes harmless, and it gets me extra perks around the office like being able to come in late once in a while, etc.
HE CAME INTO PERSONALITYS (the bikini bar where I work once a week) LAST NIGHT!!! OMG . Total freak out! And whats more... I danced for him all night, he was totally into it and drooling everywhere, tried to get me to go home with him, tried to kiss me.. *sigh* He was well-behaved with his hands at least.
Now I have to work with him every day! Im so nervous! And kind of ashamed... Have I totally crossed a line here or what??
I dont want to be reduced to "just a stripper!" What if he never takes me seriously again???
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
Ummmm...first of all...him sexually harassing you at work is an absolute NO-NO. You should have reported that.
Now, I don't know what to tell you about the other stuff...I think I would have refused to dance for him. but, I guess you could always say, "Well, since you don't pay me enough money to make ends meet with this job, I had to take a part-time job elsewhere."
I've never had this happen to me...hope all goes well for you.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
You didnt cross the line...but you are going to get A LOT more harassment from him at work....
Dont forget...whatever you do or whatever you have done is no excuse to be harassed at work. Dont be afraid to speak up about that. But if you do dont doubt hes going to use your "other job" as an excuse.
But if he was harassing you before this...im afraid he is going to be the type to think of you as "just a stripper". He'll probably think he can get away with a lot more with you now, so just be careful and protect yourself. And dont take any shit....make it clear to him that last night was a job...and thats the only way he'll ever see you like that.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
I wouldn't have danced for him, and I would've sat in the back until he had gone, been there done that, it sucks but it happends. If he annoys you during your day job be straight up and tell him to back off.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
At my club, if this happens, you can ask the manager to tell him to leave. They'd rather keep you on as a dancer and lose one customer for the night.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
I think you should use it to your advantage. Enjoy coming in late and taking extra long lunch breaks for a few months, play up to him. But on the sly, look for a new day job and make sure that your boss gives you an excellent recommendation.
If you have any part in hiring your replacement, make sure its a man or a very homely girl. Just thought I'd give you an alternate advice. Good luck!
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
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Originally Posted by Katrine link=board=27;threadid=11748;start=msg149877#msg14 9877 date=1091725561
I think you should use it to your advantage. Enjoy coming in late and taking extra long lunch breaks for a few months, play up to him. But on the sly, look for a new day job and make sure that your boss gives you an excellent recommendation.
If you have any part in hiring your replacement, make sure its a man or a very homely girl. Just thought I'd give you an alternate advice. Good luck!
Thats exactly what I was thinking!! Ah, Im a stinking opportunist... lol...
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
No no no. I think taking advantage of this situation is a typical stripper attitude in most people's opinion. Don't you think other people in the office will grow to resent you for taking advantage of this situation and it might prevent you from being promoted? No one wants to promote someone who takes advantage of a company's policy because they can. That is very unprofessional.
Dancing for him was also extremely out of line in my opinion. This has happened to me before and I said hello to my boss and wanted to make sure he had a good time and left me alone so I wouldn't have to "hide in the back"(thus preventing me from working) so I introduced him to a couple of my friends and they kept him busy during his visit. If this guy's harassment does ever bother you, which it should, you are going to have a hell of a time proving you felt violated since you gladly took his money and danced for him at your club and took advantage of the office perks provided to you.
Also, if he becomes hurt by your continued rejections, you can say goodbye to that good recommendation. Plus, if you think he hasn't told anyone else in the office about your job, you are probably sadly mistaken. The fact that you are a stripper will always be on people's minds-both men and women- so I think you should try extra hard to play by the rules and work hard instead of living it up by coming in late and taking long breaks. I guess it all comes down to how much you want to be respected. If you don't care about that, just sleep your way to the top.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
I have worked with dancers who were (during the day) a Dentist (hottest woman I ever met), Several Chiropractors, at least 4 lawyers, dozens of College professors (hundreds if you count adjuncts) 3 who were deputy sheriffs (2 dispatchers and a jail guard), Several fire-women. and the list could go on but my point is.... Dancing/stripping in itself is NOT an embarrassing occupation.
Women use sex ALL THE TIME to get what they want ...... in the workplace or at home. The advantage women have is they SEXUALLY HARRASS a man without being verbal or physical by dressing a certain way or through body language. Men just can't DO this. (Picture a guy batting his eyelashes or wearing a speedo and bending over in front of you. When women do those things its sexy ... A man does these things and Nobody wants to SEE it. Big DBL STANDARD in Sexual harrassment standards by gender.
The art of flirting and innuendo is a dancers primary money making skill. Why not use it in your outside life as well.
Jenna: So you're saying if her other job was as an actress rather than a stripper she should have her boss banned from all her movies? Waitress ...she should refuse to serve him? Get my point?
In the reality of most workplaces .. you earn respect by BEING a "stinking opportunist"
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
I work hard, I dont come in late, and I never even take lunches. Thats the way I am every day. If I didnt have such an awesome work ethic, I wouldnt be on my way to a promotion and yet another raise. (I was offered this promotion when I was big and pregnant and completely unattractive so its not because he wanted to get in my pants). At this point, im still training for it. Im going to move up, learn my shit and then go to a firm where someone doesnt have an agenda. Today he has been perfectly normal, so I dont think much harm was done.
Stripper thinking? how much in life requires that you hold on and dig your heels in no matter what, so that you can better yourself? EVERYTHING. Your point is taken about opportunism being a central thought pattern in strippers, but everyone has to have it to a certain point to survive.
My boss compartmentalizes. He hasnt so far in the past 6-7 months connected my job with his sexual advances. If I screw up, he tells me. If I do a good job, he tells me. If I deserve a raise, I get one. If I dont, I dont. Hes very much a good boss. He also tries to get me to go to dinner with him. Hes never been crude or demeaning in his advances, which is good for him ,or else he would have been reported.
My club was really slow and I needed the money, so I thought, you know what, hes in my world now. Sorry you wouldnt have done the same. everyones different.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
Quote:
You didnt cross the line...but you are going to get A LOT more harassment from him at work....
Jeter's little bitch has it right I'm afraid. :D
Steel yourself for what's coming.
Two cents.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ_WuLf link=board=27;threadid=11748;start=msg150014#msg15 0014 date=1091737441
I have worked with dancers who were (during the day) a Dentist (hottest woman I ever met), Several Chiropractors, at least 4 lawyers, dozens of College professors (hundreds if you count adjuncts) 3 who were deputy sheriffs (2 dispatchers and a jail guard), Several fire-women. and the list could go on but my point is.... Dancing/stripping in itself is NOT an embarrassing occupation.
Women use sex ALL THE TIME to get what they want ...... in the workplace or at home. The advantage women have is they SEXUALLY HARRASS a man without being verbal or physical by dressing a certain way or through body language. Men just can't DO this. (Picture a guy batting his eyelashes or wearing a speedo and bending over in front of you. When women do those things its sexy ... A man does these things and Nobody wants to SEE it. Big DBL STANDARD in Sexual harrassment standards by gender.
The art of flirting and innuendo is a dancers primary money making skill. Why not use it in your outside life as well.
Jenna: So you're saying if her other job was as an actress rather than a stripper she should have her boss banned from all her movies? Waitress ...she should refuse to serve him? Get my point?
In the reality of most workplaces .. you earn respect by BEING a "stinking opportunist"
Thank you for your input, DJ Wulf. And you too Jenna. Thats exactly why I posted this personal of an issue - to get peoples different viewpoints. .
I am careful not to toy with his head... He knows Im not going to have sex with him ever. Now hes just excited because hes got a secretary/proj mgr who is also a dancer at night. The drama of it all thrills him (he is in the throes of a mid-life crisis). He watches too much of the Sopranos.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
One area where you may assume incorrectly Leanne: HE DOES BELIEVE HE WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Men don't thrive on drama ..... they thrive on conquest. The OPPORTUNITY of it all thrills him.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
It happened 0- you took advantage of his being in the club - he's being pretty cool, so donm't worry
If shi* hits the fan later, (i bet it won't) you will still win. He will roll over even at the thought of you suing for sex harassment or "gender bias" or whatever.
Bottom line, I wouldn't say dance for him again ...but don't sweat it too much
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
I had some guys from my day job come in my first night working my "new" night job (topless dancing)......they saw me and ran out!! LOL!!!! They think of me like their sister, so I can imagine it was a surprise!!! Now everyone at my work knows, and my boss does, too - he's totally cool about it. Just wanted to be sure I didn't need him to lend me some money or anything! I have a rule, though - I will NOT dance for anyone I work with.....ESPECIALLY management. BIG FAT NO NO. I plan on keeping my dayjob indefinately, and my night job will NOT interfere with that career. If you go any other route, plan on some strangeness and alot of discomfort at your day job.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
leanne.. Dont worry sweetie. Just get the knowledge and position and slowly move on to another office.
Once you have the experience, you can move on.
If it was me, i would have hid in the back all night, but it seems you took advantage of the situation(in a good way) and nothing negative has resulted!! so its all good!
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
I have to disagree with Tampa on the hiding part. If I had another job besides dancing and my "real job" boss came into my club, hell yes I would take every dime he had. I work for him by day in his world, so when he comes to my world he better be working for me!
I have used my looks to get jobs over other people before and I have never got a job that I couldn't do because of it. My resume is quite extensive and very diverse because of the experience dancing has brought me.
Hun, I say if he hasen't said anything to you, then just let it be. But if he brings it up then tell him straight out there are things in life that you want and have goals to accomplish it by. You dance on the side to save up money to acheive those dreams. You danced for him because you felt comfortable around him beacuse you know him. And while you do work in an adult industry, it is just for the money not for any sexual things on the side or anything like that. You consider this a business just as you consider the work you do for him business. And while you are flattered by his attraction towards you, you have to politely decline. You have someone else you are seeing, you don't want to appear like your sleeping you way to the top, you just aren't at the time in your life where you want to date, you just got out of a bad relationship whatever. But DO NOT feel bad for dancing or dancing for him. Don't let him make you feel bad for this. Just my .02!
Kitana
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
Leanne --I admire your gutsy attitude towards life. I am just learning how to throw away all of the '70's feminist ideals towards women in the work place. I have only been dancing for about 2 years. Other than the last 2 years, I worked in offices for my whole life. It is only because of my dancing experience that I have come to realize how different men are from women and how hard it is to get anywhere in the working world if you play by the '70's feminist agenda.
Fight fire with fire!
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
As much as I'd like to say that I wouldn't do what you did, I probably would if actually put in the situation. blah :P
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
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Originally Posted by livenudegirlsunite link=board=27;threadid=11748;start=msg150305#msg15 0305 date=1091774799
Leanne --I admire your gutsy attitude towards life. I am just learning how to throw away all of the '70's feminist ideals towards women in the work place. I have only been dancing for about 2 years. Other than the last 2 years, I worked in offices for my whole life. It is only because of my dancing experience that I have come to realize how different men are from women and how hard it is to get anywhere in the working world if you play by the '70's feminist agenda.
Fight fire with fire!
Could you please elaborate a little further? I'm not too sure what the 70's femenist agenda even was, but why throw it away? Equality is a decent goal to strive for, what was wrong with it?
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
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Originally Posted by DJ_WuLf link=board=27;threadid=11748;start=msg150053#msg15 0053 date=1091740969
One area where you may assume incorrectly Leanne: HE DOES BELIEVE HE WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Men don't thrive on drama ..... they thrive on conquest. The OPPORTUNITY of it all thrills him.
Wow. Youre probably right. I have been blunt, brutally honest, whatever. I have even told him that even if he wasnt married and my boss I wouldnt be attracted to him, and that hes not my type. Somehow I think his sense of "still having it" is attached to my rejection or acceptance, because hes going thru a big mid-life crisis... (buying a Porsche, all of a sudden going out and partying all the time, trying to see if he can pull young women..)
yeah I definitely wouldnt dance for him again- if he shows up there again, I will just say Hi, introduce him to some sexy girlfriends at work, and continue working. I dont want to end up being his secretary/favorite stripper/love interest.
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
Sorry to break it to you, Leanne...but, if he's been sexually harassing you at work...you already are. Well, maybe not love interest, but lust interest. It's best to be really cool, now. And, I would not say anything about the sexual harassment now, either. Just gain experience and move to another company...
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
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Originally Posted by playboycntrfold link=board=27;threadid=11748;start=msg150312#msg15 0312 date=1091775708
As much as I'd like to say that I wouldn't do what you did, I probably would if actually put in the situation. blah :P
Thank you babe for your honesty. *mwah*
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Re:OMG! BOSS AT DAY JOB CAME IN TO NIGHT JOB! HELP!
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Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=27;threadid=11748;start=msg150508#msg15 0508 date=1091800482
Sorry to break it to you, Leanne...but, if he's been sexually harassing you at work...you already are. Well, maybe not love interest, but lust interest. It's best to be really cool, now. And, I would not say anything about the sexual harassment now, either. Just gain experience and move to another company...
Yeah thats pretty much what Im doing. Im just saying I dont want to be his "favorite stripper" on top of it all.