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if you love someone through "thick and thin"
hey girls/guys..
i need an opinion..
my best friend is going through chemo treatments, and she is completely bald. Her boyfriend will no longer have sex with her, and she feels disgusting.
DO YOU CALL THAT LOVE?
so she asks me how to rekindle a relationship, i tell her "with someone else"
its much more then that, she's tryed everything from toys, lingerie to help..
Shes such a beautiful person inside and out. He's not even affectionate anymore, and puts his friends before her.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
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Originally Posted by tampafldancer link=board=27;threadid=13933;start=msg183573#msg18 3573 date=1096401602
so she asks me how to rekindle a relationship, i tell her "with someone else"
That's the best advice is right there.
This really disgusts me. She's going through a rough time. This is something that can be DEVASTATING to a woman... and this fucking reject is adding more grief to the process.
I hope he gets his dick stuck in a blender. UGHHH!
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
No I dont call that love BUT...has she thought about a wig? Hair will grow back in time and it might be a good temp fix, if she still wants to keep him around and all.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
Is he there for her in other ways besides sex?
Sex is important, but it's not the most important.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
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Originally Posted by Emily link=board=27;threadid=13933;start=msg183584#msg18 3584 date=1096402286
Is he there for her in other ways besides sex?
Sex is important, but it's not the most important.
True Em but, I can understand that when your going thru something like that when you may not look/feel your best, sex with someone you love would probably lift your spirits, make you FEEL more desirabe when you think you look like death. My dad going thru Kemo and all I understand how it makes you feel phisicaly and emotionaly.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
That's sick to me.... If I love someone, it wouldn't even affect me if they had no hair, or if they were sick. In fact, it would make me more loving and complimentary. My love runs very, very deep.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
Maybe he's afraid he will physically hurt her?
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
If Dea was suffering thru chemo, I would try to be there for her no matter what(bald is beautiful).
However some guys do distance themselves not out of disgust but fear, it can't be easy to be in love with someone and watch them go thru this(it tore me up to watch my gramma go thru chemo)
or he is just a superficial prick, and she needs to find another guy.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
At the end of her post, she put he's no longer affectionate with her and puts his friends first now.
This makes him a cruel, selfish, uncaring bastard... unsupportive and unwilling to be there for her in ways she absolutely NEEDS at this time.
I'm scared to death for someone close to me about to begin cancer treatments. She's already had breakdowns in tears just contemplating hair loss, her beauty, and her desireability and she hasn't even begun treatments yet. She's the kind of person that yanks down all her mirrors when she gets a big enough pimple.
This guy is just a fucking loser.. in the biggest way. He's condemning her for taking care of herself and suffering through an ordeal that she has no choice in baring... all because he's more interested in self-errection material than her.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
I think true love is unconditional, and that definitely doesn't sound like true love to me! If she's in a bad situation, I don't think that's going to help her body right now. You didn't give us a lot to go off, but saying that he is no longer affectionate is important. He should be MORE affectionate while she is going through this. He's probably scared and doesn't know what to do, in which case, she's wasting her time when she should be with someone who is far more supportive than this loser's being.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
I wonder how long they have been together?...
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
Well, yea, that's not love. But some people are just incapable of love... and when we love them, it eventually tears us apart. She knows now who she is dealing with.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
It's possible he cares about her but is afraid he's losing her to her cancer, and his way of dealing is by putting up his defenses, effectively pushing her away. Sometimes people feel helpless in a situation like that and in their imperfect human ways, wind up doing the WRONG thing.
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Originally Posted by Blade is a D.j. link=board=27;threadid=13933;start=msg183601#msg18 3601 date=1096403231
However some guys do distance themselves not out of disgust but fear, it can't be easy to be in love with someone and watch them go thru this
That's what I was talking about.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
she has been spending thousands on wigs. She has fuzz now, and she seems to be through with the treatments for a while.
DOES ANYONE KNOW of good products that will help her grow hair back? I believe she is unable to take reg drugs at this point (something to do with breathing and her lungs)
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
there's a good hair product like shampoo and conditioner and whatever else you need for your hair by Nioxin.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
yea.. i told her to get biotin, silica etc.. nizoral.. I think im just going to send her a care package.. and would like to get a bunch of different itemd compiled.
Something's got to work right!! :)
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillydj link=board=27;threadid=13933;start=msg183583#msg18 3583 date=1096402225
No I dont call that love BUT...has she thought about a wig? Hair will grow back in time and it might be a good temp fix, if she still wants to keep him around and all.
C'mon now, he should be thinking of her health first, not having sex with her. How F'in selfish!!!
Seriously, if I had a man who I loved dearly & was going through a cancer period...I would'nt be thinking of SEX. I'd be thinking more about his health.
And Tampa, sorry about your friend.I hope she gets well very soon...good luck to her!! :-*
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
I hope he's there for her in other ways than sex- if he's still good to her in other ways than it sounds okay. True love is loving someone no matter what happens and taking care of them when they're sick. My step mom left my dad when he was really sick-she bought a house and didn't ask him about it and he decided to stay in his apartment since she was ignoring him and ocassaionally making fun of him. Before that she was jealous he had to have nurses during the day because he was in a wheelchair.
Maybe she could try Rogain (sold at drug stores- i think about $40) for the hair loss.
I hope she gets better and he starts paying more attention to her.
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
I dated a man with leukemia once. When he was on meds he was in lots of pain but he couldn't perform because the treatments made him impotent. He was a wonderful person and was very upset because he could not give ME the sex that I wanted.....
I was just patient with him. Do you think he isn't attracted to her anymore because of her hair or maybe he sees her in pain during treatments and doesn't want to bother her with sex requests?
Has she clearly communicated her needs to him? I'm constantly suprised at how many women do not. There just isn't enough information here to make a solid judgement.
I hope your friend has a safe and speedy recovery :)
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
ok here is a little more information.
She still has a huge sex drive, even throughout all of this. He turns her down repeatedly. When she asks why, he says that hes had enough sex in his life, and the relationship isnt all based on sex. ????????
But its been over 2 months?
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
WOW that guy is about as deep as a raindrop hitting the ground..
the shallow vain bastard. I feel sorry for the poor girl.. she needs to leave him and look or someone else when she feel better because right now im sure she feels as if shes the ugliest thing in the world thanks to that twit..
also he could have someone on the side.. 2 months is a long time for a guy... :-\
my guy would never turn me down due to lack of hair.. thats just..... down right.... Grrrrr.... >:(
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
I'm glad so many people feel the same about this guy's attitude.
It reminds me of a sad memory- when I was in junior high, my sister-in-law had a breast cancer scare. My best friend at the time said my brother would leave her if she did have cancer- the men in this girl's family were so evil and hateful towards women that her automatic response was that my brother would ditch his wife for getting sick. (PS She was okay, and he really did love her.)
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
Wow! This guy is a JERK! She needs to dump that zero and get with a hero!
Love is unconditional! I had several health problems and my boyfriend has been more than supportive of me luckly. I would love my boyfriend no matter what! If he was bald, paralized, crippled, or limbless! I would still love my man no matter what! And he should stand by his woman no matter how sick she gets! Poor thing!
I wish there was something I could do for her! I always want to help people! But she definatly needs to let this guy go no matter how much it hurts. She is probally scared of going through this alone but this guy is making her feel very alone and unwanted.
I wish your friend the best and she will be in my thoughts. :)
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Re:if you love someone through "thick and thin"
Aw, on top of going thru this she has to find out her man's true colors! Im sure she is young and will live through this, and will be stronger for knowing her bf is a scumbag, and also knowing she beat cancer!!!
I feel for her. I think she should just ditch his ass, then when she gets better and is all "sexy" (in HIS shallow eyes) again, he cant have her anymore, and that will be the sweetest revenge.