What did she say? What did you do?
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Sometimes easier said than done. I don't like to press the issue when they leave out the detials, but many dancers give very vague answers. I've had these brief coversations:
Me: what are the rules?
Dancer: oh, some light touching...
Me: ???
Me: what are your rules here?
Dancer: respectful touching is ok.
Me (thinking): what the hell does that mean? hold her hand and nothing else? touch non-naughty areas? sit on my hands? touch whatever, just don't try to stick a finger up her butt? if I ask her to be more clear will she think I'm an asshole trying to push the limits and give me a crappy dance?
still a newbie,
-lestat1
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I hear you, lestat. I was at a club where I had the impression that touching was fine - but I don't make assumptions. So I asked the very pretty dancer the rules.
"I don't mind if you touch - but I expect you to be a gentleman."
Oh. That explains it.
I held her waist a little, rubbed her back a little, and did light, soft stroking otherwise, but nowhere intimate. At one point, she leaned back against me and purrrrrrrrred in a voice I almost didn't hear, "Perfect."
So I guess whatever I did was OK. But who knows? Who ever knows?
But in its own way, that's part of the charm.
Now, to get back to the point of the thread, I've had a dancer wave her breast in front of my face, but I didn't go for the bait. She drew her nipple across my lips, and I just enjoyed it. She pressed her nipples against my lips, and I finally gave it a little dry kiss. She pressed more insistently, and I dry-kissed with my lips a little more open.
Now, she didn't say a thing, and I didn't ask, and so she had no question to respond to, but I suppose that I could assume that liberties could have been taken, if I chose to.
Lestat brings up a great point!!! The girls can be quite vague. At my club I know the rules. If the dancer is breaking them and I have logged time, that gives me certain license to bend them as well. LOL. I don't push too hard. I have never been reprimanded. This is all non verbal and has never resulted in reduced mileage. ;D
In Vegas, I asked what the rules of rngagement were. She said the club was one way contact but the rules weren't enforced. I could touch anywhere but the cookie. She went on to say she was very friendly and wanted to make all her customers happy. About the 3rd dance I found out it was more like watching the submarine races at the lake. LOL. A full blown makeout session minus contact with the cookie. She was defintely guilty of "illegal use of the hands" in football terms of course. LOL. Other than the cookie, I was inbounds with everything else done. LOL. ;D
Soooo... what did she tell you. What did you do? Push the envelope or err on the side of caution? Were you encouraged or reprimanded?
Re: What did she say? What did you do?
For the most part I go to the same clubs and get dances from the same girls, I know the rules of the clubs I attend and have come to know the limits of most of the dancers, so there's really not a whole lot to discuss. Beyond that I guess I have always used the take what they give you approach, if they let you touch a breast you touch a breast, if they let you grab the ass you grab the ass, etc, etc, if they're not comfortable with it they tend to let me know and I respect their wishes. Now reaching for the cookie is something I have never done without a clear signal (i.e. them grabbing me by the hand and placing it there).
Re:What did she say? What did you do?
Gosh Fishnet, you are the perfect example of someone who understands but doesn't understand. Either that or you can see it from your perspective but not from somebody else's .
Re:What did she say? What did you do?
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Originally Posted by fishnet link=board=1;threadid=104;start=msg2335#msg2335 date=1068072032
Soooo... what did she tell you. What did you do? Push the envelope or err on the side of caution? Were you encouraged or reprimanded?
She told me that I could touch anything that wasn't covered.
:boobies: :butthead:
I told her that I felt dancers did their best work when the customer was behaving himself. "Besides," I said, "I would enjoy it more if you touched me."
She gave me a peck on the cheek for being so considerate, then grabbed my hands, placed them on her upper thighs (and occasionally other places), and proceeded to take me up on my offer.
:biggrin:
I guess that's encouragement, but I still erred on the side of caution. Either I'm a total gentleman or an absolute wuss.
:blush:
Re:What did she say? What did you do?
I'm half def I only hear what I want to. So says my wife.
I do have a hard time hearing at clubs. I always ask myself "what did she say?" I hate to ask "what did you say?" So I just follow her lead.
Re:What did she say? What did you do?
Dang DC! Just noticed the new avatar. Hilarious!!!! Good job. :D
Re:What did she say? What did you do?
I really think it's the dancers responsibility to spell out the rules. If I were sitting with a dancer and decide to light up a cigarrette and there are no signs prohibiting it, she has no right to smack me and say "Don't you know how that irritates dancers!" If it's that damned irritating why doesn't she come out with it before hand? Do they expect everyone to know how they think?
Re:What did she say? What did you do?
I was discussing a similar subject on another forum recently and it just doesn't fly with me if for example, a dancer says it's ok to touch during a private dance and then the customer goes for the kitty or tries to suck on her nipples.
Saying she wasn't explicit enough is just a bullshit excuse for crossing the line >:(
As customers I personally believe we should limit our contact (in contact clubs) to shoulders, back and thighs. If we want to touch her breasts or anything else it is OUR responsibility to be explicit in our request and allow the ladies to choose if they will allow it or not.