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Asking permission
You have an ATF at your regular club...a new girl starts that you would like a dance with...
Do you ask your ATF for permission before getting a dance?
Do you get a dance anyways... cause, hey, you're a free man?
Do you avoid the new dancer cause you'd never "cheat" on your ATF?
Luv,
Amber
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Re: Asking permission
Very interesting question, because the answers would really be insight into how deep a relationship one woud have with someone they consider an ATF.
I have a bunch of dancers who I am friendly with at one of my favorite haunts. I get dances with them because I get along well with them, but none are what seems to be a classic "ATF". Thus, the relationships are not exclusive in either appearence or design. If I see a dancer whom I would like to get a dance with that is not one of those friends, I just go for it. No one gets mad or jealous, and no one thinks that they deserve my exclusive attention (and on the other side I do not in any way expect or demand their exclusive attention either). I don't become friends with possessive people anyway. It's a character aspect I don't like.
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Re: Asking permission
Same situation as PJ here.... ATFs has a priority but they do not have the exclusve.
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Re: Asking permission
I have to agree with what has already been said. I have never had an ONE ATF. To me only being able to get dances from one women would defeat the purpose of going to a SC.
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Re: Asking permission
LOL... I'd just get the dance if I was that moved by someone. Although at this point, the ATF keeps me happy enough that the desire to try the new ones just isn't there. ;D
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Re: Asking permission
"Cheat on an ATF" LMAO :D
I think that whole idea is ridiculous. I don't think it's possible to "cheat on an ATF". Probably at least half to 3/4 of the guys (a conservative estimate) who frequent SC's are already "cheating" on an SO...so why would the ATF be any different...?
I agree it might be a bit awkward if you're getting a dance from another girl and an ATF walks over and makes eye contact w/ you... However, she must realize that this is a SC, so it's only natural for a guy to get dances from other girls, especially when most of the time, it's the girl who initiates the requests and the guys often have a hard (pun) time saying no. Of course, if you're dating your ATF, that might be a different story...but if you were dating her why would you need to go to the SC to see her naked? ???
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Re: Asking permission
Personally, if I felt I had to worry about my ATF getting jealous, I'd not even bother going to the club! My ATF is a great lady, we get along very well and are mutually attracted to each other, we've even engaged in some extra-curricular activity outside the club despite her marriage. Still, I get dances from whomever I want; I'll become exclusive with an ATF when she exclusively gives dances to me; so sometime between now and when hell freezes over.
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Re: Asking permission
This is why I have to go every 2 months ....
The ones I like to consider my ATFs .. would not have the same schedule ... and therefore, chances are we won't bump into each other and I can try new girls and have that 1st date feeling.
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Re: Asking permission
I've been pretty monagamous with my ATF's. The long-term one, whom it went outside with, I only "cheated on" once. and it was with one who was her friend. I ended up at that club hoping the ATF would be there. She wasn't. But I was getting really loaded and I I wanted to have someone dance with me and thought it would be safe to pick the friend. It was.
Nowadays, I have a potential long-term ATF and I have no one at that club I dance with, other that her. And she knows about all the other girls I dance with at other clubs. And she knows I'll be back every time. Same Bat-time, same Bat-Channel. Same money or more.
It's a potentially parasitic relationship. Sexy, huh?
-Sad-
:)
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Re: Asking permission
Well, my ATF told me early on that I shouldn't worry about getting dances from other dancers. But, as long as she was working when I was in the club, I wouldn't want to get a dance from someone else. I guess it was because I didn't want to "cheat" on her. And when I said goodbye to her a long time later, she remarked at how loyal I had been to her.
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Re: Asking permission
Most of my favorite dancers understand that they aren't my one and only (though they are favored...kinda like a harem 8)). But, if I ever have a hankering for a multi-dancer special, I make sure that the ladies are compatible (one time I wanted to get a double with my ATF and another dancer, luckily I found out before I proposed it that my ATF absolutely dreaded the other woman).
So while I think it should always be the customer's prerogative, it doesn't hurt to check the grapevine and make sure you aren't going to start a firestorm of dancer politics.
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Re: Asking permission
I just say, " It's been a pleasure being with you but there is someone else I would like to meet up with now." Either they take the hint or not.
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Re: Asking permission
I don't mind if my favorite customer gets dances from other girls though sometimes if I'm busy I swear he gets upset and spends more on other dancers just out of spite.
So does it work both ways? The dancers should not get jealous if their favorite customer wants other girls and the customer shouldn't be upset if their favorite dancer is busy??
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Re: Asking permission
I don't get jealous as long as I get more dances then the other girl. ;) lol
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Re: Asking permission
I have ONE, and only one, ATF. And I think it's absolutely great when she spends time with me. However, I do recognize that the lady is there to make manna (not just mine but others')
I'm also cognizant of the importance of perceptions of other customers. For example... if other customers see her only with me, they may be inhibited from asking for a dance when I'm not there (same logic applies to any of her other regular customers). Consequently, I think it's important for me to have other dancers dance for me in order that the "exclusivity" perception might be somewhat modulated.
That's my main explanation for dancing with other ladies besides my ATF.
Of course, I also get a bit bored of "just sitting" there waiting for my ATF to complete her transactions with the other customer who is occupying her time while the music is blasting my eardrums and the alcohol is warping my cognitive skills. Thus, I sometimes find it necessary to pass the time by having other dancers entertain me (even though I'd prefer my ATF). And, yes, that does reduce the amount of green paper in my wallet--money that could have (and maybe should have) been saved for her.
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Re: Asking permission
my best regular dances only with me. unless im not there. he isnt often there if im not however.