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Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
I recently acquired a new regular. He used to see a girl I was on good terms with, and once she recommended me when he (we'll call him Mr. Dentist) was coming in on her night off. She shucked him to the curb three weeks ago, and turned to me in her absence. Two nights ago, he was in the club for a while without seeing me, and I didn't notice that he was there. Usually I find him quite quickly. He talked with another girl, and that's when I noticed him but didn't want to interrupt, but they hit the VIP. By the time I joined him at his table, he had spent his budget.
I thought this over while we were chatting, picked up his cell and plugged my number in, telling him that he could always be sure of finding me now by simply calling and asking me if I was going to be at work on the nights he was going in. He had his previous girl's phone number and had never abused the priveledge, so it seemed the thing to do. This would be the very first time I've given out my phone number to a regular. Mr. Dentist was quite pleased.
At what point in time do you, if ever, want a dancer's number? Is this a perk you expect?
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Whats that song..."If I could turn back time.." or something like that. Sounds like Mr Dentist should have had your cell number a week ago :-[ Im sure he'll put it to good use from now on ;D
If I meet a dancer I like and want to spend additional time with Im not shy about asking for a cell number and email address. Most of the time I dont have to ask...the digits and addy are offered ::) although Ive never had a lady grab my phone and punch in the number LOL That was cool (and sooooo Lil) For example, last Saturday I stopped at club south of town to meet a DJ/dancer who now works there. I met her on the pink site 8) Anyway, we got along great and after one of her trips to the booth to call up another dancer, she came back with a piece of paper with her number and addy. I didnt ask for it but sure didnt turn it down. I havent called her yet but weve talked back and forth on email several times. Shes working tonight so I plan to stop by and see her for a bit. Point being, communication between customers and vendors makes as much sense in the SC business as it does in every other business.
Im not sure if there is a perfect "time" to ask or be asked. Certainly, from a dancers point of view, she has to be comfortable with the exchange. And so does the customer for that matter. There are many flakey strippers out there just as there are creepy customers. Like I said, Im pretty aggressive about asking...I dont like to waste time and prefer to know upfront who Im going to see at the club. I usually deduce after some conversation and a few dances if a gal has fav potential.
Yes, it is a "perk" but just as much for her as for me ::) ;D
I know you werent seeking approval in your post but I think you made the right business move. Why let some other dancer in on your potential VIP dollars?
FBR
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
At what point in time do you, if ever, want a dancer's number? Is this a perk you expect?
I ask when I'm sure it is a girl I want to do business with on a regular basis. ;D It doesn't have to be a phone number. E-mail is fine as long as she checks messages regularly before work. Sometimes my schedule doesn't clear up till a few hours before her shift would start. ::) Driving 2.5 hours round trip and settling for pot luck isn't my idea of a good time.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Well... I guess I was seeking approval of a sort. Not permission, but certainly some sort of advice. I've never done the phone contact thing, so I'm clueless as to the proper timing of the offer, or to whom, or the usual procedure of the digit transfer. When you told me I gave the digits about a week too late, that's what I was talking about. I wanted to know if this was too soon or overdue, and if how much he spends is a factor, etc etc. Not being totally sure whether the women on the pink site would be completely honest, I asked you gentlemen. You have nothing to lose.
So, using his cell was a bad move? It's all I could think of at the time. I don't exactly carry pen and paper, and slipping him a written number is a general bad idea. Local vice cops consider that a prostitution charge (we're due for a raid, by the way) and it could get me fired.
Any tidbits you guys ciould give me would be appreciated. I have another possible regular nibbling the bait (again, got shucked to the curb by his former ATF) and this man is big, big money (translation: any girl who knows he is shopping for a new ATF will be competing with me most ruthlessly). I'd prefer to approach the phone contact a little more forearmed next time.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Youre right Lil...I doubt most of the pinksters would give you a reasoned and sensible answer...except maybe the ones that post here too :D
First off, let me clear up something. My comment regarding you putting your number into your customers phone was a compliment not a negative. I was impressed with your quick thinking (and balls...figuratively speaking ::) ). The fact that Ive never had a dancer do that to me reflects more on them than you LOL To be honest, I dont keep dancer numbers in my phone...I memorize them...but thats beside the point ;) Thank god ive always had the ability to retain numbers.
Without delay, you should lay the groundwork for cell and/or email contact with your potential big big money guy. Guys are flattered by this even though most understand (in the secret parts of them they shove aside when at the club) that its business. I know you wouldnt want to give him the wrong impression ::) so I would approach it carefully. Start a conversation about when you work vs when he comes in. Keep it casual and feel him out. Im sure after some conversation it will come out that on several ocassions your paths didnt cross. You could do your flirtatious thing and say something like how nice it would have been if either of you had known if the other was going to be around. He should pick up on the hint and ask if theres anyway he can learn when youre working. Calling ahead to the club ususally doesnt work as most of the time the bouncers have no idea who is working when. At that point you could offer you cell number or perhaps he might offer you his. Either way would work.
FBR
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
I like having a number, but more often it is her calling me. Most of the girls I go to see work regular shifts and the out of town club has enough girls that even with pot luck I win (last night I actually met two new ladies that have been added to my list). Now at my regular club I just have a couple that I like to see. One is a traveling dancer who makes it down every month or so. She has my number and lets me know when she will be around, she also will call to just chat. Her call a week ago is what made me break my SC hiatus. There have been several times I sat at work thinking I would like to hit the club, then I think what if nobody I like is there. so i just dont go.
So I guess I am saying any form of contact is good. I dont always trust a dancer to give a real number, so when one pulled out her phone called mine I knew it was hers (and put the name in memory).
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg49373#msg49373 date=1066999800
I say, in my most reluctant tone of voice, "That would be lovely, but it's just impossible. The police consider it solicitation, I could be arrested for prostitution, so the club has a very strict policy about accepting or giving out phone numbers. As much as I might like you to call, I can't risk my job over a fellow, no matter how charming or attractive."
Give him a winsome, apologetic face and squeeze his knee very gently. He'll be convinced that you are smitten, but that the Big Bad Manager won't let you call him or accept his calls. It works every time.
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Originally Posted by LapOfLuxury link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg64305#msg64305 date=1074477940
Only a complete idiot would actually buy this explanation.
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg64778#msg64778 date=1074588295
Which is a total shame, because it happens to be the bald truth.
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Originally Posted by LapOfLuxury link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg65492#msg65492 date=1074810168
The fact is, if you REALLY wanted to have phone contact with a customer, you'd find a way to make it happen. Your customers know this.
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
I thought this over while we were chatting, picked up his cell and plugged my number in, telling him that he could always be sure of finding me now by simply calling and asking me if I was going to be at work on the nights he was going in.
Thanks for helping me with my point, lovely petite (my type) Lilith.
Now for your questions:
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
At what point in time do you, if ever, want a dancer's number? Is this a perk you expect?
In the age of e-mail, phone number exchanges don't normally seem necessary to me. If a dancer of whom I'm a regular doesn't have an e-mail address, I might find myself wanting a phone number. I will NEVER ask, though. I figure if a dancer wants me to have her phone number, she'll offer it. I will admit I've asked for e-mail addresses on a few occasions. Seems less invasive.
And, no, it is not a "perk" that I "expect." It might be good strategy for the dancer, thiough. I like being able to reliably determine if a fave dancer is working on a particular night.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Excellent point, LoL. I'll dispense entirely with pleasant, face-saving devices such as those I have always used in the past and go straight to something honest, as you prefer. Something like, "Not only no, but hell no. You're cheap compared with anyone who deserves my number, and I barely tolerate you in the club as it is. God knows how annoying you would be elsewhere."
Your demands for total honesty are about as sincere as those of the wife who asks if her butt looks big. You'll pardon if I continue to offer my customers a way to save their dignity, even if both customers and wife know the truth behind the matter. There is always something to be said for those who retain their manners, even towards those who exhibit a lack in the same regard.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Ive lost track of this thread...maybe due to beers this afternoon at the "other" club. In any case, Im hooking up next week with the DJ/dancer Ive talking about. Gotta love communication.
FBR
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23156#msg2315 6 date=1085262930
Excellent point, LoL. I'll dispense entirely with pleasant, face-saving devices such as those I have always used in the past and go straight to something honest, as you prefer. Something like, "Not only no, but hell no. You're cheap compared with anyone who deserves my number, and I barely tolerate you in the club as it is. God knows how annoying you would be elsewhere."
Your demands for total honesty are about as sincere as those of the wife who asks if her butt looks big. You'll pardon if I continue to offer my customers a way to save their dignity, even if both customers and wife know the truth behind the matter. There is always something to be said for those who retain their manners, even towards those who exhibit a lack in the same regard.
I've NEVER advocated "total honesty." As I wrote back then:
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Originally Posted by LapOfLuxury link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg65492#msg65492 date=1074810168
There are such things as little white lies. And they can be good things in polite society, even in strip clubs. But false compliments can be counterproductive when they are obviously insincere (contradict your actions) and poured on too thickly. This is especially true when the recipient of the compliments knows the purpose is to separate him from his money.
How do you feel when a salesperson comes at you with obviously disingenuous and overdone compliments? Does it give you a better impression of the salesperson?
I don't practice total honesty myself. Total honesty requires a lot of unnecessary rudeness. For example, If a dancer asks me why I won't dance with her, the honest answer would often be somewhat rude, so I won't give it. But I also won't pour on a bunch of insincere compliments even as I'm shooting her down. I think that would be a bit insulting to the dancer's intelligence and dignity. It would be patronizing.
The same principle applies when a dancer is shooting down a customer. I've got no quarrel with a simple: "Sorry, I don't give out my number to customers." It's not the truth, but it gives more credit to the customer than a load of insincere compliments.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
I got a phone number when I went upstate back in March. Pretty good ego boost for an out of towner. No, I haven't called it nor do I intend to.
It is nice to know that I was so pleasant with a gal that she wants my repeat business. Esspecially when she goes so far to let me know when (and sometimes where) she's working. Nonetheless, I've never asked for a phone number, nor do I expect one. There to me is too much security risk in handing that information out.
E-mail is far less intrusive and can be just as effective if you check it before you leave for work. If you have a particular customer who begins abusing the priveledge of communicating with you, you can always blacklist them.
Chili Palmer recommended somewhere on SW that posting your schedule on a simple website might be a better alternative (the idea was that a web address is easier for a customer to remember than an e-mail address). That way you don't have to worry about the potential problems with handing out written information.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Lilith, I'd much rather have a dancer offer an e-mail or phone number. It would make things easier. Punching the # in the customer's cell was great! ;D At the very least I would be flattered and get more dances then I planned. There are 2 dancers at my club that I would have set up playdates with, if I had contact info. ::) I've had too few dances with them for me to be comfortable asking. :P If they had offered the contact info, it would have gone a long way towards motivating me to give them more repeat business. Yeah, technically I suppose it's against the rules but most dancers seem to do it. If you are really concerned about security or the fine points of the law, ask them to join this site and contact you via PM. ;)
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
I've never asked a dancer for a number. I've had girls offer them after 2 lap dances and some after 2 or 3 months. I don't usualy call to see if a dancer is working because I always have a plan B. I've had a few girls get pissed at me because they gave me their number and I never called or came to see them agian. I think, if a dancer is going to do it without being asked, it's agood idea to wait a few visits and be sure the guy is interested in being your regular.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
At what point in time do you, if ever, want a dancer's number?
i've asked for phone numbers and i've given out my card (hobby phone number only) to dancers in the past. i'll ask for her number, if i'm confident that i've established a good rapport with her and if i'm recieving some good mileage. as FBR mentioned, i really can't give you a perfect time. it could be a within a couple of weeks or it could be a within couple of months after the initial meeting.
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
Is this a perk you expect?
not really. i just want some good mileage. i really don't take the act of a stripper giving me her phone number that seriously. the first question i ask myself is "do i really want to call her back?". occasionally, i won't ever call a stripper back for reasons beyond the usual flakiness. most of the time, a stripper giving out her phone number is just trying to cultivate regulars, which is fine. however, i might find her lacking in the mileage department. in that case, i won't put her on my list unless the mileage goes higher. if she's willing to step up her game. i'll start calling her. otherwise, there's really no value in having her phone number.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by LapOfLuxury link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23159#msg2315 9 date=1085265822
The same principle applies when a dancer is shooting down a customer. I've got no quarrel with a simple: "Sorry, I don't give out my number to customers." It's not the truth, but it gives more credit to the customer than a load of insincere compliments.
So we're right back to square one in this arguement you've resurrected from many months ago. You assume that everything I say to them is insincere and a lie. I repeat, as I did waaaay back during the original argument, that it is neither. If you wish to continue to argue that I am still both lying to and insincere with my customers, you may feel free to do so at the peril of making it obvious how little you know me or the local laws.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
At what point in time do you, if ever, want a dancer's number? Is this a perk you expect?
Back to the orignal post ;D.
I'm surprised that more girls don't do this with their better customers, it seems like it makes good business sense.
I personally think it's a good perk, certainly not one that I expect though. The last time a dancer called me I did end up making an unplanned trip, it was worth her time and effort. As for the timing, I'm guessing anytime is okay for most PL's, what's more important IMO would be your comfort level in extending that perk to that specific guy.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23177#msg2317 7 date=1085339261
So we're right back to square one in this arguement you've resurrected from many months ago. You assume that everything I say to them is insincere and a lie. I repeat, as I did waaaay back during the original argument, that it is neither. If you wish to continue to argue that I am still both lying to and insincere with my customers, you may feel free to do so at the peril of making it obvious how little you know me or the local laws.
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=9;threadid=7444;start=msg86443#msg86443 date=1079810755
On the contrary, strip clubs sell nothing but false expectations and hopes.
Well, I think you've stated in the past that YOU find lying and insincerity to customers to be a necessary part of the stripper job. But, no, I don't "assume" that "everything" you say to them is "insincere" and a "lie." Not even close. And I never implied it. I don't hold a negative view of you. But the insincerity of this well-intentioned speech to customers is...
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg49373#msg49373 date=1066999800
I say, in my most reluctant tone of voice, "That would be lovely, but it's just impossible. The police consider it solicitation, I could be arrested for prostitution, so the club has a very strict policy about accepting or giving out phone numbers. As much as I might like you to call, I can't risk my job over a fellow, no matter how charming or attractive."
Give him a winsome, apologetic face and squeeze his knee very gently. He'll be convinced that you are smitten, but that the Big Bad Manager won't let you call him or accept his calls. It works every time.
...shown by the following:
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
I thought this over while we were chatting, picked up his cell and plugged my number in, telling him that he could always be sure of finding me now by simply calling and asking me if I was going to be at work on the nights he was going in.
To your original post, I responded:
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Originally Posted by LapOfLuxury link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg64305#msg64305 date=1074477940
Only a complete idiot would actually buy this explanation.
What set me off to say that was this assertion: "He'll be convinced that you are smitten, but that the Big Bad Manager won't let you call him or accept his calls. It works every time."
I felt (and still feel) that only an exceptionally stupid customer would think this.
You responded with:
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Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg64778#msg64778 date=1074588295
Which is a total shame, because it happens to be the bald truth.
I think you were talking about your interpretation of the Florida law as the "bald truth." And, yes, I did express some skepticism about that law because it strikes me as blatantly unconstitutional. But I am entirely willing to defer to your greater knowledge of Florida laws. It was not my main point. My main point was:
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Originally Posted by LapOfLuxury link=board=9;threadid=4112;start=msg65492#msg65492 date=1074810168
The fact is, if you REALLY wanted to have phone contact with a customer, you'd find a way to make it happen. Your customers know this.
Back on the original thread, I was putting myself in the place of a customer receiving your "can't give out my number" spiel. As it happens, I have a policy of not asking dancers for phone numbers. But let's say I am your customer, Lilith, and I ask you for your number. You give me the spiel. I may go along with the factual stuff about the law, but I will be convinced that if you truly wanted to give me your number, you would make it happen. I would find that spiel, as presented in the post, rather off-putting and patronizing. I wouldn't consider it a cardinal sin. If I really dug your dances, I'd very likely continue doing business with you. But I certainly wouldn't think you were "smitten" with me after you declined to give me your phone number!
You seemed to say (in the "Hustle Hut" thread) you were fooling customers into thinking you really, really wanted to give them your number, but that the law was stopping you, I was saying that the customers (the ones with working brains) knew that wasn't the REAL reason they were being shot down. They knew it was your personal preference that they not have your number.
I have NO problem with a "polite lie" under those circumstances. I did, however, express the view that I thought you went a tad overboard (and I only had a problem with that as a matter of STRATEGY). And, believe me, if you gave me that spiel in a club, I would be much too polite to call you on it.
I hope this clarifies my view. I have no ETHICAL issues with you giving ANY excuse you want to a customer for not giving him your phone number.
But we're cluttering up the board. Perhaps if you PM me your number, we can continue this discussion by phone. ;D
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Looking at my Nextel phone, I have 19 current dancers' phone numbers. Not once have I solicited a number from a dancer; each time it was volunteered by her.
If you give me a phone number, it's because you want contact outside the club, not inside. I've posted on this before: 1 out of 2 numbers I get don't ever amount to anything, from there 1 out of 3 eventually result in a "date."
As doc-catfish pointed out, I feel a website or even creating a Yahoo group is the easiest way to keep your customers informed and have them able to contact you. Let's face it: anyone without internet access is probably not a customer you want anyway--how much money can he bring to a club if he can't afford $40 for DSL access per month?
If you really want to "reel me in", that requires mileage, plain and simple. Give me an airdance and/or enforce the "no fly zone" when you're on my lap, and I wouldn't care if you give me your home address and social security number, too.
Another consideration: many clubs are now instituting a "no cel phone" rule because of those pesky little camera phones that keep taking some wonderfully embarassing pix and then posting them on the 'net. Telling a guy, "Write me at [email protected]" is easy enough to remember, and much more secure from your viewpoint. OTOH, if you are planning on making a habit of this, at least get a second "customer" line so you know when you hear the tone that you're supposed to be "Lilith" and not Lisa or Maggie or whoever.
CP
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
OK, I have to ask. Why would you need your cell phone to call the dancer to see if she was working if you were already inside the club?
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
I have 26 dancer phone numbers, 5 with home numbers as well. I didn't ask for any of them.
Here's how they break out:
4 are for sports :D
2 are for walks in the park
3 I help with schoolwork
9 are just for schedules
4 just want to play ("only with you") :P
2 are cute ho types I only want to imagine ::)
2 are friends of others on the list
6 I don't remember who they are :-\
Some are good in more than one category. The "sports" and "play" girls are always good for the beach. 8)
Most of the dancers offered their numbers quickly, as Lilith did. I like her punch-in method. It shows confidence, which I find attractive.
NikkiD's free voicemail is a very good idea, because obsessed guys call ALL the time. If a dancer calls more than I want, I don't return her calls.
One of the nice things about SCJ is that it makes you take inventory and re-evaluate. ;)
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Quote:
Originally Posted by yoda57us link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23212#msg2321 2 date=1085370838
OK, I have to ask. Why would you need your cell phone to call the dancer to see if she was working if you were already inside the club?
* Because it's a big club with more than one level.
* Because she's in the dressing room and doesn't know you're there.
* Because you want to know if she's stuck with a rich old lawyer for another hour in champagne.
* Because she likes getting text messages...
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Sporty, took ya long enough.....
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=10;threadid=1489;start=msg23134#msg2313 4 date=1085240586
I recently acquired a new regular. He used to see a girl I was on good terms with, and once she recommended me when he (we'll call him Mr. Dentist) was coming in on her night off. She shucked him to the curb three weeks ago, and turned to me in her absence. Two nights ago, he was in the club for a while without seeing me, and I didn't notice that he was there. Usually I find him quite quickly. He talked with another girl, and that's when I noticed him but didn't want to interrupt, but they hit the VIP. By the time I joined him at his table, he had spent his budget.
I thought this over while we were chatting, picked up his cell and plugged my number in, telling him that he could always be sure of finding me now by simply calling and asking me if I was going to be at work on the nights he was going in. He had his previous girl's phone number and had never abused the priveledge, so it seemed the thing to do. This would be the very first time I've given out my phone number to a regular. Mr. Dentist was quite pleased.
At what point in time do you, if ever, want a dancer's number? Is this a perk you expect?
It happens all of time I have 100's of numbers in fact pm me your number when you get a chance (kidding)
I have only had one dancers number before but I have allot of email addresses I would suggest starting an email account just for customers its much safer then a phone number.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
There's nothing wrong with what you did, Lilith, imo. I have several dancers phone numbers and have only had one situation where I thought that a lady giving me her number was in bad form. In that case a stripper danced for me for several songs. Then she had to leave the club and insisted that I put her number in my phone. She then said 'call me in five minutes so that I will have your number, too.' I really didn't even want her number let alone want to give mine to her, so I didn't call her back and haven't had her dance for me since.
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Re:Of Regulars and Phone Numbers
The first time a dancer asked for my number, I thought it was cool that this beautiful woman wanted to call me. I quickly learned after taking her phone calls everyday for two weeks, that it was just marketing on her part, and all she wanted was to get me back in the club to get my money. I admit I was naive, but I learned my lesson.
Take numbers, but don't give them.
If another dancer asks for my #, I'll give her my e-mail and nothing else.
PS, I don't take my cell or wallet into a SC. Would really hate it if for some reason I left either in there. 8)