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don't ask, don't tell?
When I'm making conversation with customers, I usually ask questions to keep things flowing. I was wondering what you gentlemen think are good topics to stick to, and stay off of. There are some obvious ones to avoid - "Are you married?", "How much money do you make ?", "How much money did you bring?" and so on.
What are the less obvious ones? Do you mind being asked what you do for a living? Where you're from? If we're from the same time, whether you've ever been to [name bar, club, park, brothel]? Some people LUV to talk about themselves, and most would probably prefer that to hearing about how cute my cat is (NOT how cute my kitty is ;D) or some such. But I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm all up in their business. I hate it when people do it to me.
Help me out?
[OK, OK, I know some of you would rather not talk at all. For those folks, here's some :boobies: -- no need to post. Guys who *do* want to "talk first" -- what do you want to talk about?]
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by grace link=board=10;threadid=1693;start=msg26612#msg2661 2 date=1095869485
If we're from the same time
Uh...whoops. I meant to say "If we're from the same town." Didn't mean to imply that I can break the laws of time and space. Guess I better leap now. ;)
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by grace link=board=10;threadid=1693;start=msg26613#msg2661 3 date=1095869802
Quote:
Originally Posted by grace link=board=10;threadid=1693;start=msg26612#msg2661 2 date=1095869485
If we're from the same time
Uh...whoops. I meant to say "If we're from the same town." Didn't mean to imply that I can break the laws of time and space. Guess I better leap now. ;)
Actually I read that as implying same age...
I was never good at small talk, so anything to keep the conversation going and loosen me up is good. I dont mind answering questions, but the where do you work (or what do you do for a living) is almost the same as asking how much you make.
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
Personally, I dont mind the questions at all. I'll intermix truth and CS just like a dancer stirs up a broth of truth and SS.
FBR
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
Quote:
Originally Posted by grace link=board=10;threadid=1693;start=msg26612#msg2661 2 date=1095869485
If we're from the same time, whether you've ever been to [name bar, club, park, brothel]?
did someone say brothel? you worked at a brothel? i hope that's not a typo because i already have my tiproll out. ;D
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
I'm pretty much up for anything. I don't know what all to talk about either. Expecially, with Miss A. We get quiet really quick sometimes. And we end up staring at each other for a minute or two then she takes off. Which I don't want that to happen sometimes.
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
A dancer asked me the first time we met where I was born. That was kinda different, came to find out we were born in the same town at the same hospital by the same doctor. How messed up is that?
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
My favorite no-no is, "How many guys have you had lifetime?" I'll try that if she's really getting into it. Best response:
Her: "Whoa, that's really personal."
Me: "I'd tell you."
Her (hesitatantly): "Okay, 20."
Me: "Exactly or approximately?"
Her: "Exactly. I don't drink."
When a dancer asks you, always give her a number slightly lower than hers. ::)
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
That's definately a big no-no for me. If I actually told any customer the number, they'd probably immediately run to the nearest VD clinic ;)
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
Nothing is off-limits. At least nothing that I've been asked so far....
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Re:don't ask, don't tell?
The skinny blonde during superbowl Sunday after a great golf game. with biz bud, now at where else, thee Dollhouse.
Me: So what do you do during the day?
She: I watch T.V. and get high.
Me. Wow, is that it?
She: No, I want to become a porn star. So I masturbate a lot and videotape it. Did you know that when I have an orgasm, my asshole pulsates?
Me. No, I never would have guessed.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by big_daddy
A dancer asked me the first time we met where I was born. That was kinda different, came to find out we were born in the same town at the same hospital by the same doctor. How messed up is that?
;) Sure you were...LOL...if you said that "I was born in Las Cruces, NM." and she said, "OMG...so was I!" And you said, "Were you born at *this* hospital with this doctor?" and she said, "Holy shit! That's so weird...this is destiny! Us meeting up like this thousands of miles away...Wow..." probably followed by some form of "Who better to get a dance from than me" line...
That means that you were just spoon-fed SS. :D
Just teasing you, BTW... :D
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
;) Sure you were...LOL...if you said that "I was born in Las Cruces, NM." and she said, "OMG...so was I!" And you said, "Were you born at *this* hospital with this doctor?" and she said, "Holy shit! That's so weird...this is destiny! Us meeting up like this thousands of miles away...Wow..." probably followed by some form of "Who better to get a dance from than me" line...
That means that you were just spoon-fed SS. :D
Just teasing you, BTW... :D
LOL BigDaddy's been around the block a few times so he probably knew in his heart of hearts that it was SS. A few questions could have easily debunked her story. OTOH sometimes its more fun to let it roll especially if she is a hottie :P
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
Never ask anything too personal, and NEVER bring up politics or religion. Don't talk about your kids, SO, etc.
Do ask how they're doing, be upbeat, talk about fun, light things like a trip you recently took, some sexual escapade (real or made up/exaggerated), your pet, friends, etc. But always keep it light and fun. Nothing too serious and nothing negative. And don't get caught up in conversation! Ask for the dance within 1 or 2 songs. If you're in a VIP with a guy and having conversation, that's different, but still don't get so caught up that you don't give him enough dances to make him want to renew the time... ;)
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
I don't ask them personal questions and don't volunteer too much persoanl data. I avoid talk about other dancers with them or that I have fucked a few dancers OTC. I try to keep the conversation on the fun and positive.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
Dancers who I've gotten to know a bit can ask me anything, but for the first time talking to me, it's different.
Be careful what you say about your co-workers. If you're snarky, I'll label you a bitch and avoid you.
Don't ask how much money I make.
Don't ask if I'm in love with one of the other dancers.
If I've seen you a few times, you can ask me anything, but I I feel much more comfortable answering personal question if you're giving personal info as well.
Things I never ask (tell me if I'm missing anything):
Real name
Where you live beyond generalities
Which high school you graduated from
How many guys you've had
Your feelings about specific co-workers
Your feelings about your specific other regulars
How much money you make (although this is pretty obvious to anyone who pays attention)
Specifics about where you work at side jobs unless it's another strip club
To meet me OTC (I have made an exception for the dancers I know better to invite them to the comedy club where I'm performing at open mic night)
I've had dancers I know pretty well ask me what religion I was, what i got out of strip clubs and oddly enough, tax questions, though I explained I'm a fashion salesmen, not a lawyer or accountant.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by Clark
Things I never ask (tell me if I'm missing anything):
Real name
Where you live beyond generalities
Which high school you graduated from
How many guys you've had
Your feelings about specific co-workers
Your feelings about your specific other regulars
How much money you make (although this is pretty obvious to anyone who pays attention)
Specifics about where you work at side jobs unless it's another strip club
To meet me OTC (I have made an exception for the dancers I know better to invite them to the comedy club where I'm performing at open mic night)
Damn, Clark, you are making me feel bad. I ask every one of those questions ::) ;) Im nosey and love details ;D
FBR
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by FBR
Damn, Clark, you are making me feel bad. I ask every one of those questions ::) ;) Im nosey and love details ;D
FBR
So do I. I just don't feel it's right to ask. Most of this info is ultimately volunteered to me. If anyone wanted to meet me OTC, I would ask these things, but as long as it's a dancer/customer relationship it seems wrong to try to get identifiable personal info.
As far as other dancers, it would be unprofessional to say something bad about their co-worker or a customer, so if they don't like the person, I'd be putting them in an awkward position by asking their opinion.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by Clark
So do I. I just don't feel it's right to ask. Most of this info is ultimately volunteered to me. If anyone wanted to meet me OTC, I would ask these things, but as long as it's a dancer/customer relationship it seems wrong to try to get identifiable personal info.
Ive found most dancers to be very open with details once youve spent just a little time with and money on them. Arm twisting not required...just a little casual conversation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark
As far as other dancers, it would be unprofessional to say something bad about their co-worker or a customer, so if they don't like the person, I'd be putting them in an awkward position by asking their opinion.
LOL Youre kidding right? Trashing other dancers is SOP in the dressing room and at the customers table :) Its quite fun to listen to :P
FBR
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by FBR
Ive found most dancers to be very open with details once youve spent just a little time with and money on them. Arm twisting not required...just a little casual conversation.
Perhaps. The pink side often complains about these kind of questions, though, so I leave them be. If I want to know identifiable information, I'll drop hints that I might want to know, but not ask right out. Generally, I gravitate toward dancers who are just volunteering this sort of thing anyway.
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Originally Posted by fbr
LOL Youre kidding right? Trashing other dancers is SOP in the dressing room and at the customers table :) Its quite fun to listen to :P
FBR
Not at ths club. I've never heard dancers trashing each other to customers and I get the impression that it would be a quick trip to a firing if they did. I did overhear one of the dancers tell another that someone was being a bitch in the dressing room, but that's the closest I can think of.
One dancer did express concern to me about another's drinking. This did seem to be actual concern. She was advising me not to run out and buy her alcohol anymore (BYOB club) because she was clearly drunk at work and was going to get herself in trouble.
Also, the assistant manager saw fit to tell me about one of the dancer's felony convictions once, but that seemed to be more admiration than trashing.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by Clark
Not at ths club. I've never heard dancers trashing each other to customers and I get the impression that it would be a quick trip to a firing if they did.
I guess the "kind and sensitive" index varies in different parts of the country. Here the dancers are fuckin' ruthless :O
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark
I did overhear one of the dancers tell another that someone was being a bitch in the dressing room, but that's the closest I can think of.
OMG she called her a bitch?? LOL Ive heard dancers call other dancers "crack hos" and other pleasant names right in front of the manager and not raise an eyebrow. My club is getting way too seamy ;)
Seriously, if the hostility was turned down a notch or two here it wouldnt upset me that much. It gets wierd when Dancer A who you like OK talks trash about Dancer B who you also like OK.
FBR
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
When I am with one of my custies, I never ask
"Hey, you make a killing of the last sale you made?"
"How long have you been married? You gonna make it work this time?"
"You love your boss? Oh, really, you love him enought to get contract out on him"
"Exactly how many girls did you meet in the last six months did you want to kidnap and take some place for nefarious purposes?"
and so on. These would start more fires than you can possibly put out.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by FBR
LOL Youre kidding right? Trashing other dancers is SOP in the dressing room and at the customers table :) Its quite fun to listen to :P
FBR, I never heard so much shit-talking as I did at the LR. That place was drama central and although there's shit-talking at every single strip club in the country, that place was pretty impressive.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
I am pretty much a 'treat me like I treat you' kind of guy. I think it is important to be respectful of her privacy and be open to sensitivities you don't want to trigger. I expect the same from her, and many of those things are covered in this thread. So I ask things about her that I won't mind telling her about me. I also try to watch for anything that she tries to avoid.
No formula, but typical topics are - how long working in this club, is it a good club for you, do they treat you well, what kind of music do you like and to dance to, do you use your own CDs, what is your schedule, etc...
Then I start offering things about myself she hasn't asked about already. If she is attractive to me, I will say what I like about her and her performance on stage. Then the deal about dances and what goes there. That's the end of the first meeting.
I have a pretty good memory when I am in a conver (with a gal anyway), so in the second meeting I will elaborate on some interesting topics we discussed before. Maybe tell her more about our similar likes (or related things coming up). Probably will tell some jokes I've remembered, usually triggered by our conver. If anything sexual comes up, I will discuss in moderate terms. There will be a few more dances and just a little exploration and a little more sex talk there. She should also have a funny casual manner and be willing to talk sexually or I probably haven't been interested enough beyond the second unless she give great privates.
In the subsequent meetings (all at the club), I will be a little more joking and sexual talk (if its ok in her sensibilities I've learned about so far). It will be closer to my personality, maybe with a few things I don't talk about with strangers.
I've met some very entertaining and smart gals this way and gotten to know and respect them and they of me. But in time they all move on and I have just their memories. I have met just a few beyond the club, some for conver, events (bars concerts), coffee, etc and some for some sexual times as well.
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Re: don't ask, don't tell?
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Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
FBR, I never heard so much shit-talking as I did at the LR. That place was drama central and although there's shit-talking at every single strip club in the country, that place was pretty impressive.
Susan, I totally agree. Ive gotten acustomed to it and to be honest didnt think all that much about it. But I can see where someone new coming in who was used to a different style work environment might say WTF?
Since Miss D moved to her new club, I've only been to the LR a few times, mainly when my son asked me to go with him for a couple of beers and a little visual T&A. I still like LR but its tough to find the time to go to two clubs. I think you would like the new club better although Im sure there is drama there as well.
FBR