customer "too shy" to get dances...
This was a new one on me but happened twice today. Two different guys, both white dudes in their forties, told me they wanted to get dances from me but were "too shy." I guess this could be just one more way to say "no" but they both really seemed to mean it, and didn't get dances with anyone.
I have the feeling they wanted me to be super-aggressive and MAKE them get dances from me, but I couldn't do it. I have a very laid-back hustle - I talk to everybody, but if somebody says they don't want a dance from me, I just move on. In fact, I'm much too much of a "nice girl" overall, and I think this is hurting me. Guys aren't in clubs to talk to nice girls...they want hardcore ballers who ooze sex. That's just not me. *sigh* Maybe I'll learn. :-\
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
You don't have to be aggressive to overcome this. It's easy:
"Well lucky for both of us I'm VERY outgoing!" or "I'm outgoing enough to make up for it!"
Say it with a smile, and lean in while saying it.
Most guys will appreciate the playfulness of the response, and it shows you made an effort but without wasting a ridiculous amount of time.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Quote:
Originally Posted by grace
I have the feeling they wanted me to be super-aggressive and MAKE them get dances from me, but I couldn't do it. I have a very laid-back hustle - I talk to everybody, but if somebody says they don't want a dance from me, I just move on. In fact, I'm much too much of a "nice girl" overall, and I think this is hurting me. Guys aren't in clubs to talk to nice girls...they want hardcore ballers who ooze sex. That's just not me. *sigh* Maybe I'll learn. :-\
Grace nothing wrong with being "nice.". As a customer I prefer nice over strictly hardcore "wanna a dance?".
;)
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
nothing is ever wrong with being nice, don't EVER regret a night when you didn't feel yourself or the "dancer" you portray. I am not aggressive at all, either you want it or not, I 'll talk for a while about everything and nothing, but no forcing, just a little nudge... if it means no, move on. At least you know to do that much! Don't sit with the guys that promise a dance! They never come through.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Tell them it's alright they don't have to be shy, they aren't the ones taking thier clothes off!
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Here in Australia almost all the lap dances are done in a separate private area. I usually respond to that type of objection by placing emphasis on the private, intimate nature of the dance area. It will only be him and me.... any other customers in the room are all occupied.
Usually the one's that are too shy (in my experience) don't want to have a dance out in the open - they are more personal, intimate people.
As for being "nice", that's my stripper persona and it doesn't hurt me at all. My type of hustle is introduce myself, some conversation then ask. The punter generally will know after the span of one song (approx. 3-4 minutes) whether or not he is interested in having a dance with you at that moment or putting you on his list (for later). I've been told too many times how refreshing it is to have me ask after a little bit of conversation.
If I don't make the sale at that moment, I move on... If it's a "maybe later" (and I know that the person will need more "dutch courage" so it is a genuine later).. I'll check back on them later (I usually like to leave a nice gap of say 20 mins between my litte check ups). If that same punter says "maybe later" to me after I check back for a third time.... I generally will not go back unless he makes it obvious he wants me to come back.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
A lot of times "no" can mean "not right now." Building rapport over a visit or two might make one of these shy types more comfortable with you, and who knows -- maybe a regular, even.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Quote:
Originally Posted by NinaDaisy
You don't have to be aggressive to overcome this. It's easy:
"Well lucky for both of us I'm VERY outgoing!" or "I'm outgoing enough to make up for it!"
I like that! I use the same time of line for guys who are hesitant because they can't touch me. I reply:
"That's ok, I'll touch myself enough for the both of us!" It works very well. :D
Also, informing them that there are private areas available can help.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
I encountered a shy guy today:
He came in w/ a bunch of military guys back from boot camp ready to spend. I talked to a few of them that I could get to before they were bled dry and he was very shy. He wouldnt even look at me....maybe he didnt like me? I was as nice as can be. Introduced myself and tried at least. When he did speak he was so freakin quiet I took it as that he didnt want my company. Boy was I bitter when he gets 160 in dances from another girl.
Maybe if I had tried harder or listened to him better or I have no idea I could have gotten some dances from him.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigersMilk
When he did speak he was so freakin quiet I took it as that he didnt want my company. Boy was I bitter when he gets 160 in dances from another girl.
Maybe if I had tried harder or listened to him better or I have no idea I could have gotten some dances from him.
Nah, it's not you. It's his nature. The extremely shy ones feel so socially awkward that he was terrified of participating to start off. Any attempts at persuasion at that point were going to be met with resistance. It's like knocking on a turtle's shell. You're friendly and playful when knocking but he's spooked and withdraws inside. Then he probably sat there awhile after you left and thought about how he was cheating himself out of fun by being so withdrawn, saw how much fun everyone else was having, got accustomed to the whole scenario, and therefore mustered up the courage to come out of his shell. Nevertheless, he's too embarassed for botching his encounter with you to seek you out at that point, so some other dancer becomes his choice. You simply had the bad fortune of interacting too early in the process.
-Ev
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
wow never saw it that way....awesome explanation. Just by chance I guess.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
if they were soooo shy, then wouldnt they be more shy to even walk in the place? that is something i would say to them, fuck it, i'd give all of my best liners just so they'd get that dance from me.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Being nice can often melt the ice with the shy ones better than agression. Also, keep in mind that they MIGHT be just way too shy to get dances. Some are like that. Just like some that dont like dances, they may be perfectly content just to watch the stage and tip.
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigersMilk
wow never saw it that way....awesome explanation. Just by chance I guess.
Um... not sure what you mean. Your encounter was unsuccessful just by chance? Or my explanation was awesome by chance? (Well, the latter is no doubt true more often than not, even if that's not what you meant. :) ) Belated disclaimer: I should have qualified my observations by saying, "here's one theory," but in my experience, it's a plausible one, at least for a certain group of shy guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsie
if they were soooo shy, then wouldnt they be more shy to even walk in the place?
I'll bet that's not necessarily so, but again, I'm speculating. A shy guy may have convinced himself to come to the club, or friends may have convinced him, but it's all theoretical before you get inside. Maybe the environment or my approach overwhelms him after he enters. To clarify, I'm not trying to say he's a lost cause so don't even try; I'm merely saying that if I understand his shyness is not necessarily related to anything I'm doing wrong, that can help me approach it positively.
-Ev
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
hmm...i would say something along these lines:
' you don't have to be shy here, i dont bite...hard' *giggle*
' well, if it would make you more comfortable, we could go somewhere more private so no one else will gawk' (vip!)
' you can't be that shy! you saw me naked on stage!'
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
I have learned that different dancers bring out different side of people. Your hustle, the way you carry yourself, and your sexual expression may be better suited to bring out the cash from one customer, but not for another. Some custies come to buy drinks for several girls and dances from one. Some custies come for several girls, and some just come in for one. Just because they usually come in to talk to one girl doesn't mean you cannot get a dance or a couple of drinks from them. I think the trick is to convince yourself that your worth all the money and assets this person could possibly own, and then figure out as the whether or not to be aggressive (most of the time the customer will assume their role in the situation If they are interested at all). It helps me to present myself as some sort of new exotic plaything, still waiting to be corrupted...
Most of all, don't take anything personally and don't think too much about work, outside of work. Just concentrate on dealing with your problems on site, and making yourself feel your best!
...
Chartruese
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
^^^ Well put, Chartruese.
Which leads me to a self-deprecating disclaimer. Definitely don't listen to me if you don't want to overthink things. ;D
-Ev
Re: customer "too shy" to get dances...
i run into guys like this sometimes and i know they want to get a dance but there too shy to make a move........so ...i keep at em, saying........" come on ,i like shy guys i know you want to ..hee hee.......step out of the box ,lets go have some fun"..........they just need to be persueded alittle more....i know it's aggravating to do this but they need a push..................LOL