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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Hey girl;
Ive been dancing for 3 years. I can tell you, that even though it seems hard to do at times, I try to avoid situations with people that will try to go overboard. I can usually tell if a person is going to be the grabby, touch type who wants everything for a dollar. It's easy to see it comming. Usually thier attitude and what they say gives a few clues into thier personality type.
Also, I get that feeling when I see the guy raising his hand to try and touch, I intercept it and give him that look. This includes spanking, I hate when guys try and smack a girls ass when she is on the stage. That is so rude and for everyne to see that you would actually let someone touch your ass on the stage.<rant..hmm>
I have found clever ways to conversate with these types of people, and avoid situations alltogether. No matter how slow the club is, you could always tell the person "no way" and walk. There's gotta be someone, somewhere who will be a gentelman in the club.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
I'm speaking as someone who worked in bars famous for being "brawl bars" and on one of my last club bookings, the bar manager commented, "It was a great weekend! No fights broke out..." Stupid backwards-ass-people with disrespect in mind are going to walk through those doors, and you have to stand up to them. Any man shitty enough to vicitmized a nearly naked woman has every bit of hurt coming to him. I don't care what his excuse is.
I sure wish I was sweet enough to be patient with impossible customers- life would be easier. But look, some people will go as far as they can and keep on pushing. Don't take any shit!
Handy quote for bad customers: "You look like the best part of you rolled down your momma's ass........"- Lee Ermey, "Full Metal Jacket"
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
You did the right thing it was self defence!!!
Some customers still do not have respect for us..... sad isn't?
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Good job, 242.
A black-eye for sexual assault is a very conservative recoil and I wouldn't feel bad one bit if I were you. Customers have experienced MUCH worse in parking lot justice from bouncer staff for lesser assaults, so your customer got off easy.
And to SportsWriter- armed revenge also comes from simple escort and customer banning, so it has nothing to do with a 'rise'.. except maybe one customers get from feeling above the law inside or outside the club. It's a risk every bouncer is aware of and accepts knowingly.
The solution is easy- customers shouldn't fuck with the girls. Doing so gives license for personal injury. Security will handle any ramifications... it's the job.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteInTN
This post makes me wonder something...
If a guy actually does hurt a girl by biting her or hitting her or something or sexually assaults her can she, as a dancer, go to the cops or would they just laugh at her and say it's a risk of the job?
Just curious.
Oh and sorry for the bad sentence structure. ::)
You bet your ass she can, it does not matter what her occupation is, it's against the law. It's assault.........
He is not going to get off easily, especially with a bunch of witnesses or others in her club who would stick up for her...
And the dancer can go to jail just as quickly as a customer can...
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
:thanx:
I think I'd be afraid of getting hit back if I punched a customer. But I think what you did was fine...actually, I'm grateful. If that guy ever comes into my club, he'll have learned a lesson about assaulting dancers.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Good for you! There are so many women, not just dancers that don't stand up for themselves. I was visiting a dancer friend of mine this last Sat. and was around center stage when the dancers wanted to take off my shirt. I politely said no and tipped the dancer anyway. My husband leaned over and also told the girls no that he didn't want his goods on display. :-\ Anyway, long story short the guys sitting next to my husband said he should let me do it and how they would love a piece of me. Brushing it off with a simple "thats my wife," my husband left it at that. As I was walking to the back with my girlfriend to watch her husband and mine get the lap dance we bought them, the guy from center stage stops me, gets in my space and proceeds to try and lift up my shirt.....Before I could blink I had shoved the guy so hard he almost hit the floor. A bouncer had seen what happened and escorted the guy out of the club, then came over to me to make sure I was okay. Thankfully my hubby and his friend missed the incident and their was no bloodshed.
I follow the theory that yes, especially if I hit a male, I definitely run the risk of getting hit back. I take that risk though knowing atleast I stood up for myself. No one in or outside the club has ever tried to take advantage of me without receiving a quick dose of reality. }:D
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 242_fair
Funny side note: another dancer heard what happened, and reccomended next time getting the bouncers to beat the guy up in the parkinglot, said it would set me back about $50, they do it all the time. No wonder they knew what I should tell the cops if they actually showed up...
Good support staff can be a blessing ;)
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
It's dangerous, not funny. Some bouncers get a rush out of beating customers in the parking lot. In my area, beaten customers have shot and killed their attackers on two separate occasions. I know a dancer who witnessed one of the killings: the bouncer quickly bled to death just inside the front door, and she still has nightmares about it.
VenusGoddess gave good advice. After one or two warnings, the dance is over. Go to the nearest bouncer or floor manager. Let them collect your money and escort the guy out.
Well allthough the advice she gave and you agreed with is good for some clubs, unfortunately it isn't for most clubs.
Most clubs nowadays the management doesn't care what happens to the dancers. A lot of managers don't collect dancers money for them either. Hell, Treasures in Houston makes dancers sign a contract saying that Mgmt. isn't there to act as the dancer's "collection agency". Meaning that she's SOL if a deadbeat refuses to pay. Their advice is just to move on to the next customer and forget about it...?????
The reason why I and most dancers have hit/hurt customers is because if we don't do something about it, no one does.
I guarantee you - if I hadn't hit the guy and broken his glasses after he bit me - and gone to the managers...all that would've happened was the manager telling him not to do it again, and then walking away leaving the punk to enjoy the rest of his evening drinking and getting the opportunity to do the same thing to other girls. And this was in one of the better clubs in Austin.
I am just grateful, that even though most men CAN get away with being assholes in strip clubs, most choose not to.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
I say it's self defense. A guy's gotta learn that no does mean no. Besides what's he going to say? I received a black eye from someone quite a bit smaller than him? Don't think so.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Well if you think that story sucks.... I worked with a bouncer who seemed sweet and flirty. The whole staff is like that so I thought nothing of it. But this guy gives me a gentle hug and then sticks his hand up my butt crack and grabs my butt! I got the fuck away from him and if I have to work with him again I'm going to the manager to let him know how fucked up this guy is. Then, I'm telling the guy not to touch me at all again. What a jerkoff!>:( >:( This summer I was even cornered in the dressing room by a bouncer who wanted to 'see the dance these guys are going crazy over'. I told him he was cute but my boyfriend wouldn't like it because he's violently jealous. It's like he was demanding validation by force. Things have changed so dramatically that now our managers and co-workers often see us as sub-human and available for any male use anytime they want. Who the fuck do they think they are!>:( >:( You are not alone in this growing problem.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
This also happened at the Yellow Rose in Austin. A VIP floorman/bouncer there has repeatedly made unwanted advances, grabbed girls, and there have been reports to managment that he's even assaulted girls. And yet year after year, he's still employed by the club, and no matter what he's reported to have done....he still has his job.
Another example of management not caring about the welfare of the dancers anymore.
I've also heard similiar stories of male employees giving dancers a hard time at most of the clubs in Austin, and a few in Dallas. Even in the most upscale of clubs, you will find that men that work there sometimes cross over the line. It's an unfortunate fact. This is why I try to avoid having much contact with management/male employess. I never talk to them unless I have to. Never flirt or joke around with them, go to any of their parties, etc. As a result I've never had a problem with a male employee trying to cross any boundries.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Obviously enough this guy made the mistake of getting frisky in an apparently clean club. He should've gone to an extra club.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
I have to say: Good for you!! You defended yourself;)
I know that it is not really the "right" thing to do, however, he was violating you, so he would be liable. I don't know all of the details, but surely he was in the wrong.
As for me, I have "accidently on purpose" spilled drinks on two people in my years of dancing/waitressing. I had one rude custy thrown out by...."inventing" a situation that perhaps only happened in my manic state.:D
I told the manager/owner that this guy had unzipped his fly and exposed himself to me.>:(
I can't recall if he really did. It was so dark::) I do recall that he was extremely rude.
I never saw him again.
Cheers(I can't find the cheers icon),
Corey
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
True I agree with sol_de_pr2 he should have gone to an extras club.
I think you did the right thing!!!;D ;D ;D Dont feel bad about sticking up for yourself......which reminds me I should have dont that to at least one guy when I was dancing. I totally applaud you for strongly letting him know that that is SO NOT cool. I just wish that when I was dancing I had the balls to do that or at least be more aggresive in enforcing my one rules. :P
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Your defense could be rape, if you even need one. Even though it was fingers, we all remember the case of the policeman who broom-handle raped a suspect in the precinct house.
Ending the dancer sooner would have been less traumatic to you both.
BTW, good punch, 242.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
I wouldn't have paid the bouncers to beat him. I would have ended the dance and had him tossed....but I probably would have smacked him before I went for the bouncer. It's a judgement call, you have to act on your instincts. In the clubs in my area the bouncers watch out for the girls. I know this is not the case everywhere. In any event, you certainly have nothing to feel guilty about, the guy was an asshole.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Good for you, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Yeah, I hate that feeling of "damned if I do, damned if I don't" but I think that does come with the territory. Like if it has been really slow for days I'll probably put up with a grabby guy on the chance that he'll spend more to see if I'll 'relax my standards' [I don't, but sometimes they'll buy an extra dance or two to 'see']. Whereas if I'm doing great and they get grabby I feel confident being like "SCRAM!" :(
BTW, my bf has appropriated the term "broke an eye,"
me: So this guy was a total jerk last night . . .
bf: You should've broken his eye!
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Oh my fucking god!!! OOOOOOO GOOD FOR YOU!!! Don't you dare feel bad? You may not go around punching people out there in the real world... but guys don't go around doing that either (and if they do... like you're at school and some turn runs up and does that... most girls WOULD beat the shit out of him). He's lucky you didn't pop his fucking balls with your heal!
Sorry, but whenever I hear stories about that... I can't help but put myself in that position! :banghead: :bomb: :censored:
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Two weeks after this thread ran its course, it's worth a summary.
242_fair punched a customer for sexually assualting her. She subsequently learned that she has a supportive manager and staff who would have handled the problem before it rose to the level of assualt. She got good advice here and will act differently next time.
Then the direction of the thread changed dramatically:
* Brittany pointed out that in most clubs you're on your own. Other threads have noted that dancers seem to have no recourse if the customer knows the owner or manager.
* PC said bouncers know the risks of violent response and knowingly accept them in defense of the dancers. (Maybe, except for a bouncer I knew who said he would quit if he ever got hurt. Two weeks later he got punched in the face. No mas for him.)
* Optimist and Brittany countered that bouncers in some clubs are the PROBLEM, sexually harrassing and assaulting dancers. I've heard a lot of those stories.
* Corey confessed that she might have misinformed a bouncer that an annoying customer exposed himself. I knew a dancer who always told a bouncer "he grabbed my boob" if a customer annoyed her.
So... what we really have is SC justice in chaos. It's like watching the COPS series on TV and sometimes wondering how you would tell the cops from the bad guys if cops wore tee shirts. :O
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Here I am checking back in again. Just wanted to let everyone know whats happened lately:
I got extreemely depressed for about a week after the incident (you might have seen my 'I'm not ok today' post).
When I finally pulled myself together and went back to work, I noticed something had changed. *The non-dancer employees had all heard what happend and some waitresses came up to me and said how they always knew I was a clean dancer and good for me for standing up for myself.
*The bouncers are way better at protecting me and now if I just stare at the VIP bouncer he comes over and tells my customer to behave (this protection has never been awailable before - to any girl at my club - basically unless hes raping you they won't say anything)
*When the bouncer tells the grabby ones to cool-it, it works, and I HAVE NOT LOST A SINGLE CUSTOMER FOR THIS REASON at all - which IS a sUpRiSe!!!
*Other girls keep asking to work with me, like 'Lets go together to check that table of two over there', and this is totally unheard of in my cliquey club
*Best of all, lots of other girls are way more friendly and respectful now. They are glad that I set limits and they are now prepared to do the same. At least some of em.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
Sorry I had to add one thing:
I agree with the poster who said that generally going to the managment in these situations is a waste of time. That would be the case in every other club I ever worked at.
Thus, I take back my comment that in future I will not hit a customer. Provided that I have been violated and am in a position to hurt back with some degree of personal safety (I.e. I think someone is near enough to interven if it turns into a fight), I WOULD hit another customer again for the same or similar reason.
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
In my club, we are absolutely not allowed whatsoever to hit or assault the customers, even when it's well-deserved >:( . To add insult to injury, if we leave the dance without getting our money, the bouncers/mgmt won't shake the custy down for what's owed us - it's our business transaction to deal with, our problem if we don't get paid. >:( >:(
I haven't had too many problems since perfecting my prevention technique. I scold them sweetly, gently, if they "start small" (as they usually do, testing the waters, so to speak). If the touchiness continues or I sense it will, I lean in close and whisper seductively in their ear:
"sweetie, I've told you the rules, right? You know we could get in trouble for that, right?" as if I'm still maybe okay with bending the rules...
the custy nods, otherwise indicates he knows he could get thrown out, usually says something asinine like "don't worry, no one's watching us right now"
me: "I prefer to handle rule-breaking on my own terms." and with my face still very close to his, hanging out in almost-kiss zone, I slowly lift my knee, place my stilletto on his crotch, and press. Firmly. Steadily. Just enough.
me: "you really, really need to behave yourself when you're with me. Okay, honey?" quick brushing kiss on his cheek, and right back into the dance w/o another word.
I've had maybe two, three custy's try to be grabby after the heel-in-the-crotch routine. In which case I grab his hand(s) away from me, hold it(them) firmly, in one hand, plant my foot on his cock again - harder this time - hold out my garter, and tell him the dance is over. I also ask outright for a tip - for "not treating me like a lady".
After he's out of the private area, I have him kicked out anyway.
YMMV
Kali
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Re: Last night I gave my customer a black eye...
242_fair, thanks for sharing your experience. Sometimes one quality dancer can change the tone for a whole club. You should be VERY proud of yourself. I am even though I've never met you. :)
IAKali, I like your style. ;)